When I'm Skinny, You Can Call Me Bitch.

When you go to a Tony Robbins seminar, part of what you learn is about nutrition and how different foods affect your body, mind, and overall well-being, and how important the acid/alkaline balance is.  At the end he asks you to commit to a 10-day cleanse.  I did the seminar, committed to the cleanse, and hung on full blast for almost two months. 

The cleanse is basically being vegan, but at the same time being very alkaline.  This really limits what you can eat.  (In a nutshell, all foods are either more acid or more alkaline, and you want to be more alkaline.  It has to do with the pH balance of your body and how your body holds onto fat and stuff and blah blah blah.  I lost 8 lbs in about 3 weeks.  Sign up for this website and download a list of foods here.  It's super-dee handy.)    

Basically, this cleanse entails:  no dairy, no meat, no animal products of any kind, nothing processed, no white sugar or flour, nothing fermented (so no vinegar or alcohol).  I know I'm missing something.  Oh, nothing canned.   No smoking, no stimulants of any kind including caffeine.  No fruit juices unless you squeeze those bitches yourself.  Sounds like goddam torture, doesn't it?!  Yaaaa, baby.

It's f*cking hard.  It's one of the most disciplined things I've ever done in my life.  But it's awesome.  You spend the first week drying out, which sucks, but after that it is almost addictive.  What's pulling me back right now is the weight loss, and it's healthy weight loss, not all stress your heart and your hair falls out weight loss.  Your skin - glowing.  Your period - practically nothing.  Your attitude (after the first week) - f*cking righteous!!  I've never felt better. 

Tony Robbins is a slick muthaf*cka. 

But naturally it was really hard to stick to 100%, so little by little I started re-incorporating foods back into my diet.  For a while I was straight vegan, and now I eat meat again.  I love coffee and I'm a bit of a boozer, but I still don't do much dairy.  I avoid the 'whites' and only use agave syrup or turbinado (or other natural) sugar.  Oh, and I try to avoid using the microwave, as it 'kills' your food.  Yes, it's true, shutup. 

Recent conversations and blogs I've read (I Want a Dumpster Baby) have gotten my wheels turning about this again.

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I used to workout like a fiend, then I sprained a couple things and it all went downhill.  It's so hard to go back to working out after you've been off it for so long, isn't it?  I felt so good when I worked out, and I know I would again, but it's just the pain and suffering of starting that is holding my lazy ass back.  And I'm suffering for it too, I'm carrying some extra weight that I am NOT proud of or happy about whatsoever. 

But starting a new workout plan and doing a vegan cleanse hold the same intimidation factor for me.  Once I get going I know I'll be fine, but it's just those first rotten steps that f*cking slay me.  I need to be held accountable.  I need Tony Robbins to come over here and light a fire under my ass.  I need to be bossed around.  I need to be held accountable. 

So, I'm calling in reinforcements. 
O'mayra, vacation is OVER and the chocolate fountain should be in (temporary) retirement. 
Sam, I know you're starting too.  But will you hold my hand and pee on me if I get stung by a jellyfish? 
Libby, get your bossy ass in gear and don't let me get away with shit!  
IT'S ON, BITCHES!! 

You want to join us?  Everyone needs at least one accountability partner.  I'll be yours, if you'll be mine too.  If you've got questions about acceptable foods or how Cinch products can help you keep your sanity, let me know.  Pick up Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin (it's in the Amazon bar at left) and check out the acid/alkaline site I posted above.  We all need support and someone to talk us down off the chocolate-coated ledge.  If you see me slacking, well, you know what to do.  This is an open invitation to kick my ass.  With the risk of sounding all lame and rah-rah-sis-boom-bah -  it's time to let go of what's comfortable.  If I can firewalk, I can do this.  You too.  Let's do it.

P.S.  I highly recommend the Tony Robbins UPW Seminar.  If you've ever had a single problem in your entire life, it's for you.  It's pricey, but if you wait long enough the tickets go on sale 2 for 1.  It's worth every penny.  Plus, you gotta love a guy who loves Shaklee. 

Thanks Be To Dog

Ever heard that owning a pet can be good for your health?  It's so true.  There have been actual scientific studies done that prove that having certain pet-friends will actually reduce stress and blood pressure in owners, increase longevity in those who've had heart attacks, and even relax and improve the appetites of Alzheimer's patients.  I've been trying to get numerous family members on the cat bandwagon for years, but they all resist (of course).  Pshaw.

It appears that pretty much any stress-related disorder, or any condition/sickness/disease/whatever that is affected or aggravated by stress can be helped by having a pet.  Isn't that amazing?  It makes so much sense.  If you have a pet, go love it up for a minute...it's a total stress reducer!  And they love you back so unconditionally, you can't help but to feel better.  

More than 57% of American households have pets of some sort.  And many of those have more than one.  That's 57% of people that are benefiting from having animals in their lives.  Personally, our zoo consists of one dog, two cats, a guinea pig, and a rat.  There was a toad, but I liberated him recently. 

Aside from the cleaning of cages, discoveries of chewed items, stepping on cold hairballs first thing in the morning, wretched dog breath, barf, pee, poo, hair, etc., our pets have made a big difference in our house, especially for me.  You may have seen my previous blog about pet products, highlighting the beauty queen that is our dog, Stella.  She makes me happy.  She makes me laugh.  We spoon.  She keeps me warm.  She gives me warm fuzzies.  She knocked me down once and I sprained my ankle.  I can hug her when I'm sad, and when I'm raging one look at her goofy face will always make me crack.

Further proof?  I sure will be sad when she dies. 
See?!  Pet = happy.  No pet = sad.

It's a well known (and glaringly obvious) fact that walking your dog every day will help get you active.  How much more true could that be?  If you don't have the motivation to get up and out by yourself, and as long as you would love and take care of it, why not get a dog?  I suppose you could walk a cat, but really if you know anything about cats you know that won't work.  Cats have their own agenda.  Of course there are those that put their pets in special pet strollers.  Hey, if it gets you out and active, I'll try really hard not to think you're weird.

Getting your pet (and yourself) out the door everyday is helpful in other ways, too.  When you're out walking your dog and getting exercise, you run across others doing the same.  You may socialize with these new folks that you may have never seen before if it wasn't for your walks.  New friends - new outlook - exercise and fresh air - better mood.  Dogs can help socially anxious people break the ice.

If you don't have the schedule, availability, or home available to be a dog owner, then volunteer to walk someone else's!  Or see if your local pound would let you walk dogs daily or weekly!  Hey, 57% of your friends and neighbors are pet owners, you know.

Pets can also prevent loneliness.  The majority people who have pets consider them a companion instead of property, and 97% of those people admitted to talking to their pets.  The other 3% lied, cause they totally do too.  They should just admit it.  I talk to the dog and cats constantly, especially when there's no one else home. It's just as good as talking to yourself.

So, there you have it.  Improve your overall health with a pet.  As long as you're not allergic or terrified of animals.  I don't think having a pet and being terrified of it will help you in any way.  If you're considering a pet for any reason, be sure you have the time, resources, and living conditions to provide the care they need and deserve! 

A Dirt Cheap Solution

Lately, no matter what I look at, it looks expensive to me.  Food, clothes, utilities, you name it.  I know it's not just my imagination that the cost of things are going up, especially in the food department, but I can usually overlook it at the grocery store by just not buying certain things.  As an example, I refuse to pay over $1.29 for an avocado.  I just can't do it.

A couple months ago my husband sent me an article titled 'That's pricey: 13 items that cost more, or will soon'.  They talk about gas, airfare, furniture (?!), fast food (oh. darn.), FLIPPIN' CHOCOLATE!!!  I guess expensive chocolate is good motivation for me to NOT buy it, but I still like having the option...

One of the items on that list is household products.  Now that's interesting, isn't it? *wink wink*  According to the article,

'Diapers, soap, toilet paper, toothpaste, trash bags and many other everyday items all have been targeted for price hikes as companies from Kimberly-Clark to Procter & Gamble to Colgate-Palmolive respond to rising ingredient costs' 

- and -

'The Consumer Price Index has climbed 2.7% in the past 12 months, according to government statistics released Friday. That’s the largest rise since 2009.  Price increases will continue in the months ahead...'

Well that sucks. I doubt I am the only one feeling the repercussions of rising costs, but I can happily say that the rising cost of cleaning products will NOT affect me.  Don't fall victim to this baloney!  If you've read my blog before, I make it pretty well known that I love Shaklee products.  I usually go on talking about how wonderful and green and safe they are, but have I mentioned how much money they save me?  I know some of you don't give a rats ass how green they are...if I had a dime for every time I heard 'I just love my bleach, I'll never give it up!'...well, you know the rest. 

 I just got the sale papers for a couple grocery stores,and one has Windex on sale 2/$5.  That's a 26 oz bottle for $2.50, for the record.

When I mix up a bottle of Shaklee H2 windows and mirrors cleaner it costs me less than 1 cent.  Yes, less than $.01 for a 16 oz bottle.  Hmmm...2 cents (for 32 oz, not 26!) vs. $2.50 for 26 oz?  Not a hard choice.  Suck on that, Windex. 

Before I was enlightened I bought Fantastic and Clorox Clean-Up, at about $2.39 a bottle.  Then when I greened up I was buying Seventh Generation for $4.79 or even GreenWorks (which is total greenwashing, I now know) for about $2.50.  These days, when I mix up the equivalent Shaklee H2 all-purpose cleaner it costs me .22 cents...a gallon. If I was better at math I would figure out how much that is per bottle, but I really stink at it.  Feel free to jump in, math people.

I've got more, of course I do.  But I will not go on and on because I don't think it's necessary.  You want to save money where ever you can, and so do I.  This is one of the things I do that saves A LOT.  Total bonus...you don't have to walk down the cleaning product or laundry aisle at the grocery store...it stinks so bad!  I walk through there once in a great while, and every time I do I sneeze from all the perfumes and chemicals.  Yuck!  But, that's a whole other blog...

Did I also mention that you can use H2 on anything that can get wet?  Ask yourself a question:  Does this sound like you?  'But ohhh, waaahhh, I need a different cleaner for my kitchen and waaahhhh what am I supposed to use in the bathroom or on the floooooor?'.  H2 gets used on everything.  It dusts furniture, removes soap scum, cleans kitchen counters, mops floors, washes dogs, washes children, degreases grease, de-pests plants, de-wrinkles clothes, deters mosquitoes on you and fleas from your pets, etc etc.  You can clean anything with this stuff, and throw your dirty water outside and it will make your grass greener and your roses rosier.  I even shoot fruit flies right out of the air with it, and don't tell me that doesn't sound like fun.  Drink it, bathe in it, do what you gotta do...just don't forget to tell your friends about it.   

And to answer your next question, yes it works.  You couldn't put 'Always Works' in your motto if it didn't always work.  That's false advertising, and the green folks at Shaklee look down their squeaky clean noses at stuff like that.

So here it is, folks.  The solution to saving money with cheaper cleaners is at your fingertips.  All the cleaning products in the Get Clean line are concentrated out the wazoo.  You use less, you spend less, you save money and you can buy more shoes.  Want to buy more shoes save money?  Start here.  Come to the Light Side.  Do it now!!!

The Good, The Bad and The Gelatinous

As the growing season starts and so many good little gardeners are outside planting seeds for vegetables and assessing fruit trees and bushes, the question of organic vs. non-organic seems to be at the forefront of a lot of discussions.  Organic vs. non-organic has become a pretty mainstream topic, and although there are all sorts of articles and t.v. shows and blurbs on the news (or blogs!) there are still so many who question what to do.

Organic is too expensive, say some.  It's worth it, say others.  You may be somewhere in between.  I am.  I would prefer to buy all organic and I wish I could afford $8 strawberries, but it's just not realistic. You may have heard of the 'Dirty Dozen'...the worst fruits and vegetables to buy non-organic.  If not, you can see it here.

If you're one of those good little gardeners who grow their own...good for you!  I wish I was a better gardener.  I really like it...I mean even the flowers, vegetables, all of it, but I have a major brown thumb.  I plant, and they inevitably die a dried up, withered death.  I can't even keep a houseplant alive.  There are some garden items that seem to take care of themselves, which is nice.  Strawberries, raspberries, some herbs.  The fruit trees just need occasional trimming, no biggie.  Rhubarb.  They just grow and grow.  If it's really low-maintenance and I can't screw it up too much, it's alright by me.  Or should I say, it's relatively safe FROM me.

I do like to be out there in the garden digging holes and planting, laying it all out, pulling weeds, etc.  But really I think my worst issue is the bugs.  As soon as the mosquitoes are in full swing, the spiders are as big as your hand, and the fliers have no concept of personal space...I'm outty.  I'm done.  No spray (though H2 wipes work pretty well) can fix it, I just can't tolerate the bugs. 

Last weekend I took the boy to the nursery and shopped around in the pouring rain.  That was fun.  While there, I noticed some vegetable plants, I think these particular ones were patio tomatoes, planted in this weird clear gel stuff.  After my initial recoil, my first thought was to wonder if the inside of the tomato turns out as gelatinous as the stuff it's growing in.  Yuckedy yuck!  I still don't know what that gel is (yes of course I Googled it), or despite some website claims - how non-toxic and biodegradable it is.  I just can't see myself being comfortable eating a vegetable that I picked off a plant grown in the same type of gel that a baby pees on in their diapers night and day.  What...?  Doesn't that sound delicious?

Finding this abomination inspired me to post a poll on my Facebook page:  Would you knowingly eat a vegetable grown in that water-retaining gel stuff?  I mean, maybe I'm overreacting and it's the best eco-friendly, organic enabling, water-conserving goo there has ever been!  Aside from my favorite hecklers who answer so many of my nutritional-type posts with just simply 'Bacon!' - you know who you are - I only got two serious answers.  The first answer was basically a resounding 'Oh hellll no!', and the other...the other was a little disturbing.  (Sorry babe, if you're reading this I don't mean to pick on you).  The answer was; 'No. That is why I do not want to know.'.  This baffles me.  Being so conscious of chemicals, and I fully acknowledge that not everyone is like me, this is something I think about with every vegetable I pick up.  Sometimes I will not buy an item at all if I don't like the looks of it and if organic is too expensive.  And I don't mean I skip it cause it's not pretty enough.  I mean, it's too damn pretty or the packaging looks...too...happy.  I don't know. 

Moving on.  

The other day a headline really caught my eye...when 'exploding' and 'watermelons' are in the same sentence...I mean, come on.  Like that doesn't sound fun?  I had to click it and see what was up.  I learned that a whole bunch of watermelon crops being grown in China were ruined because the melons exploded.  Exploded!  Awesome!!  No, no, forget I said that.  Not awesome.  The reason they exploded was because the Chinese farmers used some sort of growth chemical (forchlorfenuron) that caused the watermelons to grow so quickly that thousands of them burst right out there in those Chinese fields.  *Side note:  As it turns out, that same chemical is approved for use in the U.S. for grapes, raisins, and kiwi fruit, and is toxic to honey bees.  Just so you know.  And wouldn't you rather know?


In this day and age of 8 & 9 year olds getting their periods, I would certainly rather know whether my fruits and vegetables (or milk or meat or whatever) have been treated with some growth-inducing crapola.  You eat it, and it's in you.  This isn't confined to what I talked about above, either.  Pesticides, antibiotics, hormones, chemicals of every shape and form.  Ever heard this one...? -->  You are what you eat.


Now that we know what Chinese farmers did to their watermelons to make more money, do you wonder what they're doing in all aspects of food production?  I do.  China is infamous for pollution, ground contamination, poor practices in food production.  Arsenic in soy sauce, borax in pork, melamine in milk, and pharmaceuticals in water and earth.  Their lenient policies in these areas make them very successful producers.  And a lot of stuff comes out of China.  

One of those things I found not too long ago that really really bothers me is Capri Sun....because apparently we don't have enough apples here in the U.S. to make our own juice boxes...?   So we're even buying juice from China.  Why?

Because it's cheap and kids dig it.  Kids like it because it tastes good.  How can something taste so good, and be loaded with so much shit?  Sugar and artificial flavors in juice.  Why?  The real thing is great!  Sweet, refreshing, good for you.  It may not be blue or come in a fancy little pouch, but the kids drink it all the same. 


Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the Chinese or importing other stuff from there.  But food?  I mean, freaking APPLE JUICE?  Obviously some things only grow in certain places, but I'm not talking about those.  Let's buy local, folks.  Or grow your own. Enough with the Chinese Capri Sun!  Get it together out there.  

No excuses, either.  I'm lucky to have a yard big enough for fruit trees and a garden, but I've also knocked on peoples doors to see if they were going to use the zillion apples hanging off the 7 trees in their yard, or the mulberries the birds are feasting on, or the pears hanging neglected.  Join your local freecycle!  There are constantly people posting free vegetables, fruit, whatever.  Make friends with your green-thumbed neighbor!  If they are supplying you with zucchini and green beans, suck it up and pretend to like them.  It's all out there, and it doesn't have to be from the other side of the world.


Be careful what you eat, what you buy, what you put in and on your body.  I can't say it enough.  Be aware and be knowledgeable.  And if you get an overwhelming desire for exploding items, for goodness sakes, the 4th of July is just around the corner! 

Bursting Bubbles and Raining on Parades

Did you ever see that SNL skit that is set up like a commercial for high fructose corn syrup?  If you haven't, enjoy it here.  It's hilarious and I definitely got a good laugh out of it at the end, but I have to be honest when I say that in the beginning when the party-host mom starts going off on the other woman, I started to sweat.

It made me anxious cause that's totally me, I'm the one who's always telling people what they're doing wrong and I often wonder what people think when they see me coming.

"What's she going to tell us we're doing wrong, this time?  Hide your snack foods and drinks folks, cause here she comes!" 

All people want to do is enjoy their cup of coffee with Italian Sweet Cream Coffeemate in peace, and here I come to tell them that it's going to give them heart disease.  Sure it tastes good and provides relaxation and enjoyment, but how can anyone relax and enjoy something that is so unhealthy?  And how does one keep one's mouth shut when apparently others are not aware of the contents of what they are consuming?  It's a different story if they are fully aware and don't care and eat/drink it anyway.  Then it's their problem.  They might get a raised eyebrow and a tsk tsk from me but if they know what they're doing, they're on their own. 

So this is my dilemma.  Do I want to be that person to always tell people that...Coffeemate is massively hydrogenated, Slim Fast is garbage in a can, Vitamin Water is no better than soda, or that daily multivitamin they are taking is no better than swallowing one of your kids Littlest Pet Shop pieces?

No, I don't always want to be the one.  But who else is going to tell them?  Are they better off living in ignorance?  Some people would say yes, live and let live.

I kept my mouth shut about something once and later on when the person found out what bad ingredients were in it, she asked me why I didn't say anything.  Because I'm always the bearer of bad news, and it's not always a fun position.  When I get a good reaction and someone is actually grateful for the information I've shared, then I feel good about it and it's worth the risk of putting myself out there.  But I have been in the position where I've been asked 'what am I doing wrong, now?' with no shortage of attitude.  Like THAT wouldn't make someone uncomfortable!

I'm not trying to be a know-it-all, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad.  I do it because I care.  So, that said, if you want to hear what you're doing wrong...you know where to come! 

The. Worst. Salesperson. Ever.

That's me, you know.  I really stink.

Unfortunately for me, it's what I do.  I sell products...right?  Ya, sorta, I guess.  As if we needed more evidence of me being a poor salesperson, there's that last sentence to really drive it home.  *Sigh*

A little background info for anyone who doesn't know me:  I am a distributor for Shaklee.  I sell green cleaners, whole food vitamin supplements, skin care, body care, childrens vitamins & body stuff, weight loss...all the most pure and organic and chemical free.  It's a great company, Shaklee even consults to the U.S. Pharmacopaeia and sets standards of purity and quality all over the world.  No other supplement company can compare to Shaklee's research (though some have tried to pass it off as their own!) or Shaklee's quality and purity.  And you can take that to the bank.

I do pretty well, too, if I may say so myself.  I am solidly contributing to our household finances, have no other (outside of the house) job and no plans to get one either.  I helped finance a complete bathroom remodel, I pay for our family's gym membership and cell phones, and even have some left over.  Lucky for me this stuff typically sells itself.  Especially the cleaning stuff...I do a demo and it's undeniable...the stuff works great.  Easy peasy.  And the nutrition...once you try it you realize what you've been missing, and it's hard to go back knowing how good you can feel.  Good stuff to sell when you're a sucky salesperson, huh?  Ha!! 

I know some really good salespeople.  Many have excellent advice on what to say, what responses to give when someone says 'no', different strategies, etc.  I listen to their advice and end up thinking what different people we are, and what works for them as a salesperson isn't going to work for stinky me cause I'm just not aggressive like that.  My salespitch?  Just try it.  Yep, that's all I got.

Instead of a salesperson, I fancy myself an educator.  Go ahead, you know you're thinking it...well la dee da, she fancies.  Yep, I fancy.  I'm obviously interested in health, nutrition, fitness, and the environment, and I talk about it anyway, right?  Uh, YEAH.  Sit down and listen, I'll tell you all kinds of stuff about the products you use or the food you eat that'll make your hair curl.  I've read, I've researched, I've tried stuff, I've experimented.  I'm a firm believer and I want others to believe too, so that they can live healthier lifestyles and feel better and be better and live longer and look younger, etc etc.  It's out of the goodness of my heart, not because I want to sell people stuff.  If Target sold Shaklee, I'd tell people to go there and buy it.  If I wasn't a distributor, I'd still tell people not to use bleach or ammonia or Magic Erasers or air fresheners.  I'd still say 'read your labels!' and talk about how high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils are bad for you.  Eat your organic fruits and vegetables, stop drinking milk, soda is the devil and artificial sweeteners are his spawn.  The chemicals in cleaners and body products will give you cancer, irritate (or cause) asthma, build up in your body and make you sick, sick sick.  Many vitamins are not usable by your body because they are synthetic and you won't absorb them.  Many vitamins and protein products have been badly processed and won't give you the benefits you think you are getting.  Stick around, folks cause I've got plenty more.

And that's how I do it.  I educate, I don't sell.  I educate people so that they can make better and healthier choices, and of course I have those healthier choices available...it is a business after all.  I don't sell them a product as a replacement for what they have without telling them why...what's the point in that?  If you educate them, they will get there on their own and their level of loyalty will be greater than you could hope for. And when people are making the choice of their own volition instead of feeling pressured from a salesperson, they feel better about the choice and will move forward with it. 

Think you can do it?  Talk to people about what matters to you?  Give other people the knowledge you have acquired and help them make better choices - steer them in a better direction?  Sure you can.  Educate your friends, family, neighbors, and even complete strangers, and watch the sales roll in.  If I can do it, you can do it.  Really.  No, really really.

Sooo, are you ready?

Who are you, anyway?

As many are, my business is about people.  I also like to get in other people's business, but that's neither here nor there.  My business is to help people get as healthy as possible, educate them so they make better choices, and heckle them incessantly until they listen to me.  FYI, I like being listened to.

Part of the social marketing training process is to figure out your 'sphere of influence'.  This is anyone and everyone that you 'touch'.  NO, you perv, not literally.  If your life touches their life in some way, they can be counted in your sphere.  Most of us have several hundred people we can count, whether we realize it or not.  Family, friends, co-workers, those are just the obvious.  The ones you might not think of...the lady at the post office, the one that stands behind you at Body Pump and admires your triceps, the cashier at the grocery store.  People that you don't even know their name, or in some cases, what they look like. Lots of people, lots and lots, influencing each other all over the place.

What we directly or indirectly influence people to do is a big part of who we are.  So, who are you?  And, now that you know that you have the potential to influence so many...what would you influence them to do?

Be trendy and wear particular clothes, or a particular bag.  Use a particular type of cell phone.  Wear a particular brand of work out clothes.  Walk a certain dog wearing a certain sweater on a particular street?  Maybe, but these things we can do without trying, and without making the other person's life any better or any worse.  I'm not a big fan of small dogs so I'd have to say maybe in the case of the dog it would be worse, but whatever.

How about if you set out specifically to influence people to only buy certain types of food or start a healthy eating plan?  Or to start a workout program?  It would probably improve the person's quality of life, and there you go being influential in a GOOD way.  Nice job, you!!  Doesn't it feel good?!

That's why I do what I do.  It makes me feel good.  It's part of who I am and I spread it around like butter, on everyone and everything I touch.  Shut up, that's not gross.  Our sphere of influence grows and changes all the time.  The opportunities that come up with these changes are invaluable to us, no matter what we are influencing.  I want to be sure that I am influencing positively, and I hope you do too.  Of course, being in business, there are business aspects to influencing my sphere too.

I was at a Shaklee event this past weekend where there were 12 guests, all part of my sphere.  They listened and learned, and bought a bunch of stuff that will improve their quality of life.  I'm influencing people in a very positive way that makes them feel good and be healthier. They will tell their families and friends, go to work and tell their co-workers, and onward and upward it grows and grows.  That's how I've grown my business as much as I have and have the success that I do, and you could too, by the way.  Sphere of influence!  And I can say with satisfaction that I'm a pretty darn good influence.  Who. I. Am.

So, have you figured it out yet?  You've got to be careful with this, cause it's a powerful tool - use the power of your sphere for good not evil!  If you would...think about it.  Then answer the question, and be sure to tell me cause inquiring minds want to know.

Who are you, anyway?

Your Garbage is My Pleasure

To my husband's irritation and annoyment, I am a big fan of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.  My insistence on recycling every scrap of recyclable anything is a common recipient of 'the eye roll' and 'the exasperated sigh'.  Where we live we have those huge garbage and recycling cans, and everything goes into the one huge can that then gets emptied once a week.  Unfortunately, our recycling only gets emptied once every OTHER week.  Not cool for the obsessive recycler.  We had to have a second giant recycle can delivered, lest I throw away something recyclable and not be able to sleep at night.

An even bigger source of husband irritation and annoyment than my obsessive recycling is my love of all things reused or repurposed.  There is no end to the ways things can be used for something other than their original intended purpose!  A trowel for a coat hanger, a hay fork for a trellis, a piss-pot for a compost bucket, a yoke for a curtain rod.  These things all might sound absurd to you, but to me...they are bliss.  If they do sound absurd to you, damn you!, you are not alone.  My husband would heartily concur.  He calls my treasures 'junk'.  How dare he!  Only I am allowed to call it junk.

My most recent acquisition is this beautiful old cement wash basin.  I saw it posted on my local Freecycle and couldn't resist.  Told the husband about it and what I wanted to do, and he played along pretty well until we got there...and saw how monstrously huge this thing is.  These poor people had this 500 lb monstrosity taking up valuable real estate in their basement.  I mean, how the heck do you move something like that?  Back in the day they probably had to build the house around this thing, it's so huge.  And, I must add...gorgeous.

Double basin, steel lined, amazingly patinaed cement. 

Husband is giving me the 'run, quick!' eye, but I hardly notice as I am deep in thought about the potential of this behemoth.  This thing is going to be the best. Flower. Box. Ever.  The homeowner even brilliantly pointed out that each side has its own little drain, so drainage for a planting wouldn't be a problem at all.  If my husband could shoot daggers out of his eyes....

Naturally it couldn't be moved that day, we needed much more muscle involved.  The homeowner's pick-up, a couple of borrowed mercenaries, a smashed finger and a dirty jacket later, and it is in my yard in all its aged gargantuan glory.  And it will be glorious.  Mark my words. 

For some reason, my reasonable husband seems to be under the impression that my new cement friend will 'junk up' the yard.  Huh?  I think not.  Let's be realistic here...this is an old farmhouse, not some McMansion with $20,000 landscaping.  An old cement wash-basin as a flower box fits right in, next to the hay fork, tractor seat, hand-push lawnmower, and don't forget the old hand-made swingset!  It's all about vision, and that's something I've got and he doesn't. His vision is clouded by trips to the curb and navigating through a crowded garage. 

I mean, hello!!  Did I mention I am REUSING this item?  Keeping it out of a landfill, like the good little green girl I am.  It's not just my personal vintage style, it's my personal philosophy! 

Earth: Without it, we'd be aliens

As you are hopefully aware, it is (almost) April, the official sponsor of Earth Day. Of COURSE I'm going to dedicate a blog to it.  You do realize who you're dealing with here, right?

*Ahem*  In honor of Earth Day, I thought it would only be appropriate to dedicate a blog to the blue planet; home to one and all of you, my lovely readers.  Since it is so early in the month, if you haven't already thought of something earth-friendly that you and your family will do for Earth Day, now is the time to come up with something.  Why not?  It's a good learning experience, and any changes you make are only going to better everyone's quality of life.  Being the green goddess I am, I am going to make a few suggestions.  PICK ONE AND DO IT.  Ya, that's right, I'm gettin' bossy.  Don't make me come over there....

1. Still using those cruddy toxic cleaners?  Well hello, have I not mentioned Shaklee?  Come on, get with the program.  Shaklee's Get Clean line is fabulous, cheap, and the stuff works great.  You'll never go back to your smelly, asthma-inducing, cancer-causing, skin-removing toxic crap again.  It's eco-friendly, made with corn and coconut surfactants, and you can literally throw your dirty mop water out in the yard and your grass will be greener.  Plus, Basic H2 was the first official Earth Day product!  It biodegrades in 30 days, the wipes are compostable, and did you know that Shaklee was the first company to offset all carbon emissions?  Just flippin' try it, already.

2. You know you've got Rot Pot envy.  Get yourself a Rot Pot.  Seriously folks, start a compost!!  You can get one of those barrel-type composters that fit in any yard, and reap the benefits all year long.  It cuts down on garbage, and those of you who pay for garbage stickers should appreciate that.  Use the compost on your vegetable garden, and oh my, will you be glad you did it.  My tomato plants get as tall as me!!  It's easy, cheap (after the initial investment of the barrel), and worth it.  My pile is free...just fenced in with chicken wire on the side of my yard.

3. Are you recycling?  NO?!  Get your building, neighborhood or town to start.  You'll be everyone's hero, and who doesn't love a little hero-worship?  It's the 2000's, after all, everyone should be recycling.  It feels terrible to me to throw away, or see someone throw away, recyclable items.  I can't handle it.  I'm the kook digging in the garbage cans, taking home the recyclables so they don't end up in a landfill.  If we (planet Earth) continue the way we are going, imagine what life will be like for our grandchildren!  Full. Of. Garbage.  Is that what you want for them?  Ya, I didn't think so.  There's an activist in all of us, now get out there and activate it!

4.  Your community won't support recycling cause you live in the boonies?  REUSE.  Make some stuff and start a little business.  I've seen some great businesses online where people are cleaning up selling things made from reused items.  Mason jar chandeliers (very Pottery Barn!) go for a couple hundred bucks!  Knitted items from grocery bags, felted yarn goods from thrift store sweaters, endless items made from old reclaimed wood.  Get creative, it's a great outlet, and if you can make some dough doing it, kudos to you.

5. Did you know that if you measured and added up all the energy-escaping cracks in your home, it would on average add up to a hole 3 FEET in diameter?!  The cold is still here and the inevitable summer heat is coming.  It's never too early or too late to make your home more efficient.  Quit being such a primadonna, lower your thermostat and put on a sweater!  Fill those cracks in your home where cold air comes in or goes out, put in some new insulation, get some thermal shades.  Check your water heater, furnace and chimney, and if you're due and able, replace those old appliances.  If nothing else, you could be saving a boatload of money by keeping a tighter ship.

6.  Buy local.  Eat less meat.  Support companies and buy products that support the environment, and don't fall for 'greenwashing'.  Grow a vegetable garden.  Use reusable bags.  Turn off the dang lights.  Only run your washer and dishwasher when full - a full dishwasher is more efficient than washing the equivalent amount by hand!  Be conscious of how wasteful we all are.

I think that last one hits the nail on the head, don't you?  BE CONSCIOUS.  Pay attention to what you're doing, because in the long run it affects us all.  I could go on and on, but you know what to do.  We've only got one earth, and we better take care of it.  Even if our generation doesn't reap the fruits of our labors, future generations will appreciate what we've done to preserve what we can.  After all, what would we do without Earth?

The Ghosts of Products Past

As I am sure many of you did, I grew up with bleach, ammonia, Tide, Downy, Mr. Bubble, and Twinkies.  Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies were the best, and who can forget your mom's Diet Chocolate Fudge Soda, chock full of artificial sweeteners and who knows what else.  Remember getting the first Equal gumballs in the newspaper insert?  I do, and I ate the first one (and I still don't like aspartame).  The tub got scrubbed with the worst of the worst cleaners, and then we soaked up the residue in our baths.  Baby powder fights, weird concoctions of lotions to slather on, bare hands touching chemicals of all kinds.  To compound my chemical exposure, when I was a teenager I got a job at a pet store.  Every day, I would go in and bleach the heck out of the puppy kennels...with bare hands, inhaling the fumes.  But we all turned out ok, didn't we?

Ok, let's not actually answer that.

The first green products I learned about were for cleaning.  One day I was bleaching my kitchen floor...the next day I was packing up all the toxic stuff and sending it off to the garage.  I started using Seventh Generation, Method, Green Works, and a few others.  They were expensive and not usually effective, but I was dedicated to using green products and stuck with them.  (This was before I discovered Shaklee).

Very shortly after my cleaning product revelation came my enlightenment about personal products.  I packed up all our Pantene, Bath & Body Works, Johnson's and whatnot, and offered the fuller bottles to my mom and sister.  What they didn't absorb (no pun intended) got squirted into the garbage or the toilet, and the bottle recycled.  Ya, seriously, I stood there and emptied each bottle so I could recycle it.  Who DOES that?  Anyway, I was left with a few items I couldn't get rid of 'just in case' and of course I get stuff now and then that I'll never use...whether by gift or freebie or whatever.  These unusables get stashed away and forgotten.

In my quest to replace everything we ever use anywhere, there was definitely a trial and error process.  There have been numerous natural products that have not worked out, and end up sitting in a cabinet or closet.  Just because it's natural or non-toxic doesn't mean it's going to work or be the right product for us.  The Beebs and I found that out the hard way.  After a very scary incident with an allergic reaction to the 'Fragrance' in a Burt's Bees baby wash (97.3% natural!), and a very humorous incident (I wasn't the one laughing) with a face wash/lotion for me where I ended up looking like I had lobster-red sunburn on my face, I realized that not everything from the health food store is going to automatically be the right product. 

So the question is:  Where do your abandoned products go?

Well, I suppose we can call it the product graveyard.  I've definitely got one and to my husband's chagrin it is in the garage.  A big old cardboard box full of Windex, bleach, wipes, bathroom cleaners, kitchen cleaners, floor cleaners and more; all full of the type of chemicals that I do NOT allow in my house anymore.  Pretty much all my Shaklee cohorts have a similar box in their garage.  And those personal products...?  Lucky for me I've got a little extra storage space in the bathroom closet.  I'll never use that paraben-laden sunscreen on the kids, or the lotions, or makeup, or hair products, but there it sits.  I don't even use perfume, though I have half-dozen bottles of it sitting in the closet.

Crazy, you say?  I'll admit to a little crazy.  But the thing is...I've done a lot of research on this stuff.  I might seem paranoid or over-the-top to some, and others might say they are way too attached to their signature fragrance or mascara or favorite bathroom cleaner to ever give it up.  Fine.  I'm not trying to convince you to give up what you love.  Do what you want.  But be informed about what it is you are bringing into your home or putting on your body, especially if you have kids at home. I could use this opportunity to tell you how great and green and non-toxic everything Shaklee makes is and how that's mostly what we use now, but me selling you better products is not the point here. 

The point is simply:  When you've come to your senses and learned enough about the ill-effects chemicals can have on your family's health, and you replace all your bad stuff with good stuff, there is a solution for all those unused products!  And it's not that you have to stand at your garbage can squirting out six bottles of Johnson's baby lotion!

The easiest and most economical way to get rid of these chemicals is to use them up.  Then you can recycle the bottle and be done with it.  If you don't want to do that, and I don't blame you for not, read on.

Toxic products can't actually be recycled, per se.  Disposing of chemicals improperly can cause a lot of environmental problems like soil and water contamination...check out what happens from chemical runoff.  You can take your stuff to a hazardous waste collection facility, or most communities often host events for gathering all the unwanted products...and some even do it year-round.  Contact your village or your local solid waste or sanitation department to find out when and where you can take yours.  Hopefully there isn't some dude in each town with a garage full of cardboard boxes...

For anyone who didn't notice the first time...let me point out that these products are considered hazardous waste!  If they have to be taken to a hazardous waste collection facility to be disposed of...why are you using them in your home?!?!

To find out what products are bad, check out this awesome glossary, or visit EWG and Cosmetics Database. To get the green and non-toxic products that you now know are much better for you, go here. My intention is to educate you about healthier products so you can make better choices.  If your choices include Shaklee, great.  If not, that's ok too.  I am just as happy hearing that you learned something here and will stop using the toxic chemicals you've read about!!

Stow High In Transit

I received an email the other day about a very well-known four-letter word, that is actually an acronym.  I read the email, gave it a raised eyebrow-shrug-hmmm and deleted it and moved on.  But ever since, I've been thinking about it.  Yep, I've been thinking about S.H.I.T.

A little history lesson first:  A zillion years ago when manure used to be transported by ship, it would be dried out and packed so it was nice and light.  Well, naturally once the sturdy wooden ship hit the roiling seas, the manure would inevitably get wet, causing all kinds of bloaty, smelly, even explosive problems.  So, those smarty sailors started posting signs that said Stow High In Transit... as in keep it off the floor of the boat.  Voila, the creation of shit.  I mean S.H.I.T.  Is it a true story?  Like it matters.  It works for me, and its about to work for you, too.

So, speaking of all things poo...

If you have a pet, I'm sure you've seen all the lovely organic products you can bestow on them.  Natural cat litter for your kitty's delicate pee-pee, 'natural' dog food (good luck with that one, I can't even feed my kid organic cereal), I even pondered the possibility of organic cardboard for my daughter's guinea pig. 

I've tried a couple of these products, but always seem to revert back to good old Purina.  Yes, animal lovers, I know.  Shut up.

A couple years ago I got a great deal on this cat litter made from corn by-products.  It advertised no dust to choke you and your poor kitty, biodegradable, no scent to irritate, yada yada.  I had a wicked coupon, so it was a done deal.  Took my 2 bags of natural kitty litter home, feeling all like such a good pet owner and all self-satisfied with my organicalism.  I get this stuff home and fill the litter box with it, and almost barf my guts out at how bad this stuff smells.  And this is BEFORE there was any poo in it!  Fresh out of the bag and this stuff was already wretched.  It was definitely a source of contention with the other members of my household until it was gone.  So I guess I'm scarred for life, cause I haven't tried 'natural' litter since. 

Moving on.

I love my dog.  She's a 10 year old boxer named Stella, she has a big weird bumpy lumpy thing on her butt cheek, she has the worst breath in the world, and some of her bottom teeth stick out over her lip.  She's got a great smile!  I think she may be at least half goat, cause she'll eat anything (except natural dog food).  She'll eat pretty much everything else. Come to think of it, I think boxers are probably descended from goats and deer.  Any boxer-parent knows what I'm talking about.  Anyway, she's gorgeous and she is the best dog ever ever in the world and that's not just cause she's mine.  If you met her you'd like her better than your dog too. 

See what I mean?  Don't be jealous, and no you can't have her.

Except for this one little problem...well, ok there's many.  But here are two of the most relevant: 

1. She's really bad for my indoor air quality.  Her gas...oh God.  Is this due to the un-organic food I give her?  Am I ruining her poor little body cause I'm too cheap to let Paul Newman feed her?  I've tried the natural stuff on her...not even close.  Boxers have very expressive faces. One look from Stella and it's all over...you know exactly what she's thinking and it is clearly that there is no way she was going to eat that particular food.  Good intentions aside, I'm not going to spend a lot of money on dog food that my dog won't eat.  Simple.  End of story.

2. Stella thinks that the cat's litter box is her own personal cookie jar.  Time for a litter fritter, Stella?  This certainly doesn't help with the breath situation.  What's a dogmom to do?  I mean, I feed the cats (very) un-organic food, and I use that dusty, perfumey, cruddy litter!  If it's good enough for my dog to sneak off, tiptoe (yes, she tiptoes!) over to the laundry room to quietly rummage through the box for her little morsel of goodness, and risk getting in trouble cause you KNOW mama's got ears like a hawk...the cat food must be pretty darn good.

So, it comes around again - am I damaging my pets by not feeding them organic and letting them pee on recycled newspaper or vegetable by-products?  I don't know.  I mean, I hope not.  But the stuff is expensive, and you know how it is when you change your pet's food...there's no guarantee they're going to eat it.  My BFF tried to feed her cats this fancy food with mini-shrimp and gravy and stuff...they tried to bury it like it was a turd.  Lucky for my friend she got it for free and wasn't out any money.

I've heard people say some natural or safe cat litters are great, and I'm sure they are.  For those people.  I've heard of people who feed their dogs all 'real food' like raw meat and rice and whatnot.  That is some dedicated dog-parenting, I tell ya.  Good for them, huh?!  But I'm not gonna do it.  Maybe one of these days I will find another coupon and get one of those healthier pet products for cheap, we'll all love it, Stella will even love it a second time around, and me and my zoo will live happily ever after.  But for now - or until I win the lottery and hire my pets a personal chef and maid - I will have to stick with what I can afford and what doesn't offend my senses any more than necessary.

Sorry, pets....I do love you!!  Now come here and let me squeeze the S.H.I.T. out of you!!

Post Script:  I just realized that there is something eco-friendly I do for my dog.  I wash her in Basic H2!!  You know, Shaklee's organic cleaning concentrate that cleans everything you could ever imagine, including your pets.  Yay, I'm a good dogmom after all!!

Hot MAHMA!!

I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 7 years.  Sometimes I question my sanity, but mostly I am just glad that I'm here.  For us there have been some challenges financially, but we've made it this far.  Actually, in general we are all lucky that we've made it this far, because there are days...oh, there are days where everyone better just count their blessings that they lived through it...

As a SAHM I cook, clean, schedule, run taxi service, decorate, undecorate, bathe people, clothe people, treat what ails them, etc. etc. whatever.  It's what I do and it takes me all day.  Even though I worked for almost two years after the boy was born, I still can't imagine how the moms out there who have full-time jobs get everything done on top of working.  Kudos to you, ladies!

One of the things I've done over the years is try and make (or save) money anywhere I can to help our family finances.  I could probably dedicate another whole blog to my home business mis-adventures.  I've watched kids, done Tupperware, ebay, crafting, couponing on a massive scale, etc. I have to laugh when I think of how many ads in newspapers I've seen for work from home jobs that are total scams, or internet sites about how you can make jillions of dollars by following their simple system...just spend $500 on their package to learn how!  Assemble crafts at home for $350 a week, or stuff envelopes, or something equally too good to be true.  Be a secret shopper! Or internet jury!  It was fun, but none of these things lasted very long or made enough money, though I do still find myself selling stuff on ebay just cause I like it, and I've got a listing on Amazon, too. 

When the boy was in kindergarten three years ago,  I discovered Shaklee.  Since I was already using green and non-toxic products and trying to make money from home, it seemed like a perfect fit.  I got the business presentation, tried a couple of the cleaning products, and I was IN.  The difference between this stuff and the 'green' products I was using from the grocery store is like night and day.  I used to pay $4.79 for a very popular brand of non-toxic cleaner that didn't really work all that well.  Then I moved to paying $2.79 for a different, yet equally popular brand of so-called green cleaner which worked better, but that I later found out was 'green-washed'.  Then I tried Shaklee's all-purpose cleaner to the tune of about 10 cents a bottle, and it cleaned circles around the other stuff while at the same time being green and non-toxic and cheap and just freaking all-around lovely.  By the way, YES I said 10 CENTS per bottle.

Since I became a Project MAHMA mom and been working my business part-time with one or both kids at home, and I've been making a decent amount of extra money.  Now that both of my kids are in school full-time (GOD BLESS whoever created all-day kindergarten) I need to justify my presence at home all day a little more heavily, so I've revised my plan and created my goals.  Three years later, my Shaklee business is on fire, I'm still at home, and I'm significantly contributing to our household finances.  Maybe not full-time corporate job $$ yet, but it will be, and it won't take me too much longer to get there either.  At this point, I don't intend to EVER go back to work.  And at the rate I'm going I won't have to.

Some people really love their jobs that they do outside of their homes.  Some people don't.  I've never been good at taking orders or doing what other people wanted me to and I can't honestly say that looking back on any of the jobs I've had that I was ever a very good employee.  But I am my own best employee, now! 

I'm my own boss too.  I'm really good at it and I'm a pretty darn cool boss if I may say so myself.  You can ask my kids how good I am at bossing them around, they'll tell you.  Heck, if the kids aren't home all day for me to boss around, who else am I going to tell what to do?

Now, somebody go make me a reuben!!

The Great Lunch Debate

I pack my kids lunches for school about half the time.  The other days they buy it at school.  There is a marked difference between what I pack and what the school serves.  We have a large selection of lunch boxes with characters, and thermoses and flip-straw cups.  Some days the school menu is just too good to pass up, so they buy it.  It's ok.  Everything in moderation.

I get the same complaints almost every 'cold-lunch' day; 'why can't we have white bread?', 'I want Capri Sun!', 'why do you buy such weird stuff?'.  But when I'm packing, they get what I give them and that's that.  I get pretty consistent resistance from the boy no matter what I'm serving, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  He has actually said 'No thanks mom, I don't really like food'. On the opposite side of the spectrum, my beebs (the girl) is quite compliant and will eat just about anything.

Amazingly, both of my kids now have said to me recently that they don't like hot lunch at school, the food is gross, and probably hydrogenated.  Yes, they actually said that!  Hallelujah!  Have they really been listening to me all along? They know the difference between a healthy lunch from home and the processed slop they serve the kids under the guise of 'healthy'!  Hot lunch at school sure is convenient, but I can pack lunches, and I certainly won't cry about not having to spend that money - if both kids buy lunch, it's almost $5 a day! 

It's interesting to me that a school lunch program considers processed butts-n-beaks chicken nuggets a healthy choice because they are 'breaded in whole grains'.  Really?  Whole grains, huh?  Right-o, it must be health food!  I mean, do they seriously consider french fries a vegetable?! Actually, ya. They do.  This is a perfect example of why supplementing their (and our) diets with vitamins is so important.  The food they serve through these programs is nutritionally insufficient, as is much of the food available to all of us.  Modern mass production of food is not good for the nutritional content of that food...things are not the same as they were 50 years ago! 

It's certainly no secret that many school lunch programs in this country are lacking in so many ways.  The USDA guidelines are out of date and you know, I'm thinking that the organization as a whole could use an enema.  Back when the guidelines were created - over a hundred years ago - malnutrition was the epidemic, not the obesity epidemic we face today.  The current USDA guidelines also served the purpose of a marketing strategy to get people to support the agricultural industries.  The industries might have needed the help back then, but I dare say they are a little more stable these days.  Naturally the dairy and meat industries don't want you to decrease your consumption of their products, no matter how unhealthy it is for you or what doctors and scientists say are the correct amounts.  It's a conspiracy, I tell you!  Jamie Oliver, help us! 

So, I ask the kids what kind of stuff I can pick up at the store to pack in their lunches, with 'healthy' being the underlying theme.  I'm looking for some ideas of a couple different fruits, some sort of sandwich fixins, maybe veggies and dip, you know...veggie-tofu stir-fry in the thermos - ok, that last one may be getting a bit carried away, but I'm so excited about the kids volunteering to make healthier choices that my expectation meter is going through the roof.

The beebs tells me she doesn't care, as long as she can put it in her new Dora lunchbox.  Wait...she wants to take her lunch because she wants healthier food, right?  She really gets bent out of shape when something is hydrogenated, I mean, she's literally cried over Oreos so it couldn't possibly be just the lunchbox.

The boy says, 'I want a lunch like ______'s !'

Well  now ______'s mom is a nurse, so of course I do a little internal jump for joy.  A nurse knows about good nutrition, right?!  I stand riveted, with a smile plastered on my face....

'His mom packs him a Slim Jim, a Ho-ho, a Hi-C juice box, and a piece of candy for dessert.  I want that.'

Despite the questionable source for this information, my eyes roll back in my head, I go to my happy place and imagine that I end our conversation like this:

'Listen boy, you'll eat what I give you and you'll LIKE IT.  I don't want to hear how the ass clowns at your lunch table make fun of you cause you're the only one eating brown bread, or the juice in your juice box is partly vegetables.  Some day you'll thank me for not feeding you a pile of crap that rots your guts, makes you fat and gives you cancer!  Now beat it, or I'll show you where you can put your Ho-hos!'

My head spins, and as I fade into unconsciousness I hear a dreamy sounding, 'yes, Mommy I'll eat it.  I love it, Mommy, it's yummy!  Can I have more green vegetables please, Mommy, they're my favorite.....'

Getting the Axe

A few years ago when I found out about dangerous chemicals in the home, aside from cleaning products, one of the first things I changed was the personal products we were using - shampoo, soap, lotions, etc.  I was surfing one day and came across a website you've probably heard of by now - Environmental Working Group or EWG.  These folks are fantastic and both their main and sister websites (Skin Deep Cosmetics Database) are so full of information, you could spend days just reading and reading.  Which, I did.  I read so much, used the database to search for the products I had at home to see their safety levels, read about which ingredients to avoid, etc.  I armed myself with knowledge that I have been using ever since.

I am careful when I shop for products that go on our bodies, because as safe as so many products may seem...they are not.  There are ingredients that cause cancer, endocrine disruption, asthma, allergies, reproductive toxicity, persistence and bioaccumulation...I mean, WHAT???  These are popular grocery and department store brands!!  I don't want that stuff on me, let alone MY KIDS.  So, I became the soap nazi.  No chemicals for you! 

I've held onto this for quite a few years now...since Alex was probably 2, and he's 9 now.  So...he's 9 now.  Becoming independent, wanting to do what his friends do, following trends, and all that good stuff.  One of the things some of his friends do is use this oh-so-manly product called Axe.  I'm sure you've seen the fascinating commercials - a guy turns to chocolate and the girls eat him, and of course the 'clean balls' one.  If you haven't...feel free to youtube it, I'll wait here.

So there we are at the grocery store, and the boy wants to 'go smell Axe'.  I don't mind humoring him once in a while, so no biggie, we'll go smell Axe.  My first course of action is to read the label.  Upon picking up the bottle and turning it over, the first thing I notice is the Recommended Usage.  It has this nice little diagram done in the spirit of 'later, rinse, repeat'.  Axe's label basically says 'shower, and the girls will be on you like white on rice'.  But, not in so many words.  Check it out sometime.  I literally laughed out loud when I saw it. Alex looked a little hurt, like I was digging at him personally.  Moving on to the ingredient label, I didn't immediately see any of the red flag ingredients I commonly look for, which was VERY surprising.  'Fragrance' is always a concern, and of course that is practically the #1 ingredient.  Ok that's an exaggeration, but it should be...I mean, have you smelled this stuff?  I have and let me tell you, I started sneezing right there in the Man Aisle of Woodman's.  VERY potent stuff.

Naturally, there is no way I am going to buy this garbage and bring it into our house to pollute his little body...not to mention my indoor air quality.  I do NOT want my little boy to smell like 'a hunk of man candy'.  Completely inappropriate and unnecessary!  I think at this point he is under the impression that because he got me into the aisle, we will be taking home one of these offensive bottles of poison.  HA!  No way!

As we are lightly arguing about it, a man about my dad's age comes and stands in front of us at the Axe display, and starts smelling the different scents.  Alex grabs his favorite and throws it in the cart, then in true character informs me that the last item we need to get is Ding Dongs.  I inform him (and indirectly the man in the aisle) that if he uses this Axe garbage, he is going to smell like a ding dong.  His resolve to buy the product does not waver, but the man turns around laughing, puts the bottle of Axe back on the shelf and walks away!  Yay, one point for Bonnie!!

To make a long story short, Axe came home with us that day.  I know, I know, it is completely the opposite of everything I normally do and buy and believe in and everything else.  Once in a while I give in to the puppy-dog eyes and the lower lip and the please please please I'll do anything you want I'll clean my room every day and scoop the litter box and anything else please please PLEASE.  Well, not only does the boy use Axe every day, but dear husband (the traitor!) uses it too. As my dad would say, they walk around smelling like a couple of French Who-ers.

It's a funny thing, this resistance I get.  I'm only trying to do the best for them and keep them safe.  GOSH.  Why can't they just conform and not want the bad stuff?!  I don't know.  Maybe a couple more brainwashing sessions are in order (I got the boy to go Vegan for about two weeks once!).  Something has to be done though, cause one day I will set him loose on the rest of the world and hope he makes the right choices.

Someday he will have a family with kids who may resist him, and I will have to remind him of the time he got rebellious and resistant and used Axe body spray as air freshener in his room, then called out 'HA, MOM!  Now my room is HYDROGENATED!!'


*Shameless Shaklee plug:  Shaklee has a full line of SAFE products, including skin care, hair care, and body products.  Check it out Shaklee Personal Products

www.ewg.org

Can we have ice cream for dinner?

Hi, and welcome!
Since this is my first blog, I imagine introducing myself is in order. I'm a stay-at-home mom of 2 with my own health & wellness business. I try to keep my house as green as it is possible for us; we compost, recycle, grow vegetables in the garden, reuse, reduce, etc. I buy organic. We don't use products with 'bad' chemicals to clean, do laundry, or wash our hair and faces. In the winter our heat is set to 62 degrees during the day (I wish I could take credit for that one, but its really my husband being cheap). My kids know we do not eat certain things, and words like 'hydrogenated' in the ingredients mean its BAD.

That said, I should also mention that I live in a fantasy world where everyone happily does what I want them to.

My 5 year old is usually pretty compliant. Eats what I give her, doesn't complain too much, tries new food items, etc. But every so often she gets a feeling of entitlement when it comes to deciding what she wants for any particular meal, and makes sure I understand that there will be no substitute for what she has decided is on the menu. Ice cream for dinner, or for that matter Doritos for breakfast, are not usually part of the idealistic meal plans I fantasize about.

I have these daydreams where my family is all sitting at the table, getting along, talking about school and work and friends and sports, and happily eating the wonderful, healthy, organic, vegetarian dinner full of nutrients and green vegetables! that I've prepared for them. Yeah, right. The kids whining about Ding Dongs break through my reverie every time.

I really admire those parents whose kids would never dream of asking for Little Debbie at the store. But one has to wonder...how did they do it? Hypnotism? Beatings? WHAT??? Could someone please let me know?!