B*tches Gotta Eat

So I've been pretty good in the food department lately, really trying to be healthy and make good choices (per my commitment in this previous blog).  Yeah, I been working out too, thanks for asking.  You don't get to look like this by doin' nothin' *wink wink*.

One of my sweet-ass girls started a Facebook group where some of us can go to post about what we're eating, what we're hopefully NOT eating, suggestions, tips, blah blah blah.  There have been some pretty damn good recipes posted lately, of which I've tried quite a few.  I've vegetarianized, if not completely veganized, the recipes to stick with my own program, but you certainly don't have to.  They're all low-fat, good for you food that actually tastes good.  Amazing, no?

I figured I would post them for you-all who may also be on the healthy-eating bandwagon, are sick of salads, and think vegan is another word for tofu.

Here you go, skinny bitches:

I veeged this one.  Veeged is a new word, by the way.  I made it up just now.  It's short for veganized, which is clearly way too long.

Point is, I used veggie broth (I used the whole 32 oz carton, which was 4 C instead of only 2 C., then 2 C of water instead of 4.  Yeah, it's good).  I didn't use the cheese or cheese rind, though I'm sure it would have made it even more of a smashing success.  I did use semolina pasta, though at least it was organic.

This soup is da bombdiggity.  My 6 year old totally loves it.  Plus, any food that gives the kids gas is ok in their books...if it makes them fart, they're in.  Moving on.

Unless you really love the crap out of oatmeal, I would recommend cutting this recipe in half.  It makes a TON.  I changed mine up a little bit (surprise surprise) due to what I had on hand, and I also found that it needed a little more agave than called for in the recipe.  Very good, very filling, very kid-friendly!

This next one comes from Hungry Girl, and is the shiznit. Kids LOVE this stuff.  It can totally be veeged but you've got to micromanage your enchilada sauce.  Vegetable broth, tofu if you want it, and obviously no chicken.  The recipe posted as-is is VERY good and very low fat, but it's up to you what you want to do.  Except enjoy it...that's not an option.  YOU WILL ENJOY IT.

Isn't it pretty?  Find it HERE.  And while you're there, check out her other recipes, she's got some good stuff!

Coming up next...

 
I made myself a cute little version of this for lunch the other day, and oh me oh my...it was deeelish.  I posted this recipe cause it was my inspiration, though mine was not nearly as involved.  I had a bag of frozen sweet potato cubes, which I boiled into thaw-ness.  I sauteed half an onion in coconut oil till it was lovely, threw in the sweet potatoes, grabbed a jar of roasted red peppers and cut a few into chunks and threw that in.  Wrapped it all up in a couple of sprouted-grain tortillas from Ezekiel, and man was I impressed with myself.  You can be too!  Either with me, or yourself, whatever floats your boat.

I may be posting more of these types of recipes, so keep an eye out.  And if you've got any you'd like to see in a blog, send them along!  I'll even give you hungry b*tches the cred.  Just like being a celebrity.

Till next time, love yous!!

When I'm Skinny, You Can Call Me Bitch.

When you go to a Tony Robbins seminar, part of what you learn is about nutrition and how different foods affect your body, mind, and overall well-being, and how important the acid/alkaline balance is.  At the end he asks you to commit to a 10-day cleanse.  I did the seminar, committed to the cleanse, and hung on full blast for almost two months. 

The cleanse is basically being vegan, but at the same time being very alkaline.  This really limits what you can eat.  (In a nutshell, all foods are either more acid or more alkaline, and you want to be more alkaline.  It has to do with the pH balance of your body and how your body holds onto fat and stuff and blah blah blah.  I lost 8 lbs in about 3 weeks.  Sign up for this website and download a list of foods here.  It's super-dee handy.)    

Basically, this cleanse entails:  no dairy, no meat, no animal products of any kind, nothing processed, no white sugar or flour, nothing fermented (so no vinegar or alcohol).  I know I'm missing something.  Oh, nothing canned.   No smoking, no stimulants of any kind including caffeine.  No fruit juices unless you squeeze those bitches yourself.  Sounds like goddam torture, doesn't it?!  Yaaaa, baby.

It's f*cking hard.  It's one of the most disciplined things I've ever done in my life.  But it's awesome.  You spend the first week drying out, which sucks, but after that it is almost addictive.  What's pulling me back right now is the weight loss, and it's healthy weight loss, not all stress your heart and your hair falls out weight loss.  Your skin - glowing.  Your period - practically nothing.  Your attitude (after the first week) - f*cking righteous!!  I've never felt better. 

Tony Robbins is a slick muthaf*cka. 

But naturally it was really hard to stick to 100%, so little by little I started re-incorporating foods back into my diet.  For a while I was straight vegan, and now I eat meat again.  I love coffee and I'm a bit of a boozer, but I still don't do much dairy.  I avoid the 'whites' and only use agave syrup or turbinado (or other natural) sugar.  Oh, and I try to avoid using the microwave, as it 'kills' your food.  Yes, it's true, shutup. 

Recent conversations and blogs I've read (I Want a Dumpster Baby) have gotten my wheels turning about this again.

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I used to workout like a fiend, then I sprained a couple things and it all went downhill.  It's so hard to go back to working out after you've been off it for so long, isn't it?  I felt so good when I worked out, and I know I would again, but it's just the pain and suffering of starting that is holding my lazy ass back.  And I'm suffering for it too, I'm carrying some extra weight that I am NOT proud of or happy about whatsoever. 

But starting a new workout plan and doing a vegan cleanse hold the same intimidation factor for me.  Once I get going I know I'll be fine, but it's just those first rotten steps that f*cking slay me.  I need to be held accountable.  I need Tony Robbins to come over here and light a fire under my ass.  I need to be bossed around.  I need to be held accountable. 

So, I'm calling in reinforcements. 
O'mayra, vacation is OVER and the chocolate fountain should be in (temporary) retirement. 
Sam, I know you're starting too.  But will you hold my hand and pee on me if I get stung by a jellyfish? 
Libby, get your bossy ass in gear and don't let me get away with shit!  
IT'S ON, BITCHES!! 

You want to join us?  Everyone needs at least one accountability partner.  I'll be yours, if you'll be mine too.  If you've got questions about acceptable foods or how Cinch products can help you keep your sanity, let me know.  Pick up Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin (it's in the Amazon bar at left) and check out the acid/alkaline site I posted above.  We all need support and someone to talk us down off the chocolate-coated ledge.  If you see me slacking, well, you know what to do.  This is an open invitation to kick my ass.  With the risk of sounding all lame and rah-rah-sis-boom-bah -  it's time to let go of what's comfortable.  If I can firewalk, I can do this.  You too.  Let's do it.

P.S.  I highly recommend the Tony Robbins UPW Seminar.  If you've ever had a single problem in your entire life, it's for you.  It's pricey, but if you wait long enough the tickets go on sale 2 for 1.  It's worth every penny.  Plus, you gotta love a guy who loves Shaklee. 

In-Flu...a diet??

I had food poisoning a couple weeks ago, after eating some apparently toxic pizza.  It was not a pleasant experience, of which I am sure many of you are aware.  As I was laying on the bathroom floor, freezing cold and sweating buckets, I had this crazy thought:  'This sucks but at least I'll lose a couple pounds and wake up with a flat stomach'.

Call it sick-brain talking.  Call it delusional.  Call it whatever you want, but don't deny that you haven't thought it yourself.  I'm actually pretty impressed that I was lucid enough to have purposely thought that little bit of genius.

Now that cold and flu season are imminent, people are rushing out all over the place to get shot up with the flu du jour, getting stocked on medicines and fluids and all.  Getting flu shots is totally a personal preference, and though I can site a zillion articles about why flu shots are bad, it's my opinion and a touchy subject and I really don't feel like getting into it.  My family doesn't get them.  Period.

Naturally (no pun intended) we do other things like diet, supplement, exercise, etc. to make sure we have healthy immune systems and when something does come our way we fight it and treat it, and drink our Performance (Shaklee's version of Gatorade), let it run its course, and if anything were to get out of hand there's the urgent care department at the docs office.  We eat good and take our vitamins and probiotics like good little anti-flu shot folks, but no matter what we do, germs will continue to float around like crazy.  Especially for those with kids in school with their sticky hands all touching everything all the time, precautions must be taken.  Hand washing is obviously important, using tissues and your coughing corner, cleaning and disinfecting your surfaces constantly (and safely!), etc. etc.  More common sense stuff that everyone knows.  Or should know.  If you don't, you've got problems.

Considering the candy-binge holiday that is in our very recent history, let me tell you a little tidbit about sugar and your immune system.  They don't get along.  You know how people say Vitamin C helps when you have a cold or flu cause it boosts your immune system?  Then they reach for the orange juice and all their problems are solved, right?  Wrong.  Vitamin C is good, yes.  But do me a favor and stay away from fruit juices.  Why?  Cause sugar puts your immune system right to sleep.  There have been studies done, so I'm not just making this up, specifically with orange juice, that prove this.  So just do yourself a favor and skip the juice, try a Vitamin C supplement and call it a day.

No matter what precautions we take, there is still always the chance that we can (will) contract the flu and spend a minimum of 24 hours barfing and shitting our guts out, not eating anything, laying in bed sweating and being gross and stinky and feeling like poo.

But honestly...how many of you have had the thought that if your kids DO bring home the flu (again) this year and you spend a couple days taking care of them and ultimately yourself doing the above mentioned activities...at least you'll lose a couple pounds?! 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any saying that you should purposely go out and get yourself on the flu-diet.  That's just dumb.  But let's look at the bright side.  Hey, there's always a bright side!  There's always an honest side too, so don't try and tell me that its a crazy thought that you'd never even consider.  You know you've thought it.

So good luck, ya'll.  Yeah, I said ya'll.  Whether you get the flu this year or you dodge the bullet, whether you get it or just don't...take care of yourselves!!  And if you want a REAL weight loss program, let me know!

Finger Lickin' Good, Ya'll

How many times have you been driving down the road or sitting at a stoplight, minding your innocent little business, and happen to sneak a glance at the person next to you just to find that they are knuckle deep in their nose?  Sometimes you even get to witness the follow-thru...you know what I'm talking about.  Grown, supposedly mature, adults eating boogers.  GROSS.

Obviously kids do it.  Sooo many kids do it!  I was inspired to write this blog the other day by my little friend Jacob, who finds the inside of his nose positively irresistible.  Thank you Jacob!  He's lucky he's one of those super cute angel-face kids, cause he can totally pull off getting caught picking.

We all see people picking their noses all the time, don't we.  Sometimes we even get to make commentary.  Like when we were standing in line for the ferris wheel and the kid in front of us turned around so we would have the privilege of watching his booger show.  After he stuck his finger in his mouth, making full eye contact the whole time, my husband innocently asked 'Was that good?'.  Well?!  Don't you wonder what keeps the booger eaters coming back for more?

Maybe they know something we don't.  (Besides how boogers taste).

There's a certain doctor in Austria, a lung specialist, who believes that nose-picking and booger-eating will actually strengthen the immune system.  Let me restate that.  There's an actual medical doctor who thinks that eating boogers is a GOOD IDEA.  The idea is that all the little germs and bacteria that get hung up by the cilia and mucous in our noses, then picked out and eaten, actually works as a sort of probiotic for us, creating antibodies and helping fight off whatever is out there trying to slip past the gooey gates.

Who woulda thought?  Eating boogers is potentially a healthy(ish) habit?  I don't know...

If I see you totally digging and subsequently eating what you find, 

is it still considered a healthy habit 

if I barf on you?  

I doubt it.  I get the logic, I admit it makes sense.  But still, can't we just break the nose picking habit early and all buy Shaklee probiotics instead?!  Really, I will happily supply the world...

There's an actual scientific name for nose picking, it's rhinotillexis.  And compulsive nose-picking is rhinotillexomania.  There's even a latin word for booger-eating!  You know you want to know what it is.  It's automucophagy.  Hey, I totally understand that inquiring minds want to know, so I will oblige.

Here in The Land of Cheese, the first day of school countdown clock is about to hit blastoff.  With the inception of the new school year comes a whole slew of new germs for our kids to bring home to us poor, innocent parents.  Our families pass around colds, flu, viruses, heck even warts, that we've picked up while we are out and about.  Kids are obviously infamous for germ-transfer, especially the younger ones who are still perfecting the art of the 'coughing corner'.  What's that, you ask?  Um, hello?  The inside of your elbow, where all well-placed coughs and sneezes go!  Feel free to take notes here, folks.

So, what's a concerned parent to do to fight off all these germy germs?  There's the obvious hand-washing, disinfecting (with only safe, non-toxic cleaners of course), or using your coughing corner to not needlessly spread sickness around.  But needless to say, there are always some germs that get by even the most diligent hand-washing, mouth-covering, non-bare-surface-touching germophobe.  So, how about fighting them better from the inside, too? Our immune systems are a hugely important part of the body, and when sickness abounds we must strengthen ourselves to fight off the ones that get by.

Don't worry, I'm not going to suggest eating a few boogers.  You can do what you want, but don't expect me to shake your hand.  Obviously there are a lot of things we can do to help ourselves that does not include automucophagy.  There are a lot less gross things we can do, I should say.  Obviously eating right is the first one.  Some kids would not agree...they might actually prefer boogers to vegetables.  If that's not really an option you'd like them explore, literally, keep reading.

Did you know that refined sugar actually suppresses the immune system?  Ya.  It does.  So stop consuming so much.  Certainly taking a daily multi-vitamin (or one for kids), a probiotic, eating lots of lean protein, getting lots of sleep, regular exercise, and living in a clean environment are all ideal. There is plenty of help for cold and flu season!

So come on, folks.  Let's get to work.  There are a LOT of nose-pickers out there!  So when you see them...give them my number! 

Bursting Bubbles and Raining on Parades

Did you ever see that SNL skit that is set up like a commercial for high fructose corn syrup?  If you haven't, enjoy it here.  It's hilarious and I definitely got a good laugh out of it at the end, but I have to be honest when I say that in the beginning when the party-host mom starts going off on the other woman, I started to sweat.

It made me anxious cause that's totally me, I'm the one who's always telling people what they're doing wrong and I often wonder what people think when they see me coming.

"What's she going to tell us we're doing wrong, this time?  Hide your snack foods and drinks folks, cause here she comes!" 

All people want to do is enjoy their cup of coffee with Italian Sweet Cream Coffeemate in peace, and here I come to tell them that it's going to give them heart disease.  Sure it tastes good and provides relaxation and enjoyment, but how can anyone relax and enjoy something that is so unhealthy?  And how does one keep one's mouth shut when apparently others are not aware of the contents of what they are consuming?  It's a different story if they are fully aware and don't care and eat/drink it anyway.  Then it's their problem.  They might get a raised eyebrow and a tsk tsk from me but if they know what they're doing, they're on their own. 

So this is my dilemma.  Do I want to be that person to always tell people that...Coffeemate is massively hydrogenated, Slim Fast is garbage in a can, Vitamin Water is no better than soda, or that daily multivitamin they are taking is no better than swallowing one of your kids Littlest Pet Shop pieces?

No, I don't always want to be the one.  But who else is going to tell them?  Are they better off living in ignorance?  Some people would say yes, live and let live.

I kept my mouth shut about something once and later on when the person found out what bad ingredients were in it, she asked me why I didn't say anything.  Because I'm always the bearer of bad news, and it's not always a fun position.  When I get a good reaction and someone is actually grateful for the information I've shared, then I feel good about it and it's worth the risk of putting myself out there.  But I have been in the position where I've been asked 'what am I doing wrong, now?' with no shortage of attitude.  Like THAT wouldn't make someone uncomfortable!

I'm not trying to be a know-it-all, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad.  I do it because I care.  So, that said, if you want to hear what you're doing wrong...you know where to come! 

Who are you, anyway?

As many are, my business is about people.  I also like to get in other people's business, but that's neither here nor there.  My business is to help people get as healthy as possible, educate them so they make better choices, and heckle them incessantly until they listen to me.  FYI, I like being listened to.

Part of the social marketing training process is to figure out your 'sphere of influence'.  This is anyone and everyone that you 'touch'.  NO, you perv, not literally.  If your life touches their life in some way, they can be counted in your sphere.  Most of us have several hundred people we can count, whether we realize it or not.  Family, friends, co-workers, those are just the obvious.  The ones you might not think of...the lady at the post office, the one that stands behind you at Body Pump and admires your triceps, the cashier at the grocery store.  People that you don't even know their name, or in some cases, what they look like. Lots of people, lots and lots, influencing each other all over the place.

What we directly or indirectly influence people to do is a big part of who we are.  So, who are you?  And, now that you know that you have the potential to influence so many...what would you influence them to do?

Be trendy and wear particular clothes, or a particular bag.  Use a particular type of cell phone.  Wear a particular brand of work out clothes.  Walk a certain dog wearing a certain sweater on a particular street?  Maybe, but these things we can do without trying, and without making the other person's life any better or any worse.  I'm not a big fan of small dogs so I'd have to say maybe in the case of the dog it would be worse, but whatever.

How about if you set out specifically to influence people to only buy certain types of food or start a healthy eating plan?  Or to start a workout program?  It would probably improve the person's quality of life, and there you go being influential in a GOOD way.  Nice job, you!!  Doesn't it feel good?!

That's why I do what I do.  It makes me feel good.  It's part of who I am and I spread it around like butter, on everyone and everything I touch.  Shut up, that's not gross.  Our sphere of influence grows and changes all the time.  The opportunities that come up with these changes are invaluable to us, no matter what we are influencing.  I want to be sure that I am influencing positively, and I hope you do too.  Of course, being in business, there are business aspects to influencing my sphere too.

I was at a Shaklee event this past weekend where there were 12 guests, all part of my sphere.  They listened and learned, and bought a bunch of stuff that will improve their quality of life.  I'm influencing people in a very positive way that makes them feel good and be healthier. They will tell their families and friends, go to work and tell their co-workers, and onward and upward it grows and grows.  That's how I've grown my business as much as I have and have the success that I do, and you could too, by the way.  Sphere of influence!  And I can say with satisfaction that I'm a pretty darn good influence.  Who. I. Am.

So, have you figured it out yet?  You've got to be careful with this, cause it's a powerful tool - use the power of your sphere for good not evil!  If you would...think about it.  Then answer the question, and be sure to tell me cause inquiring minds want to know.

Who are you, anyway?