Bursting Bubbles and Raining on Parades

Did you ever see that SNL skit that is set up like a commercial for high fructose corn syrup?  If you haven't, enjoy it here.  It's hilarious and I definitely got a good laugh out of it at the end, but I have to be honest when I say that in the beginning when the party-host mom starts going off on the other woman, I started to sweat.

It made me anxious cause that's totally me, I'm the one who's always telling people what they're doing wrong and I often wonder what people think when they see me coming.

"What's she going to tell us we're doing wrong, this time?  Hide your snack foods and drinks folks, cause here she comes!" 

All people want to do is enjoy their cup of coffee with Italian Sweet Cream Coffeemate in peace, and here I come to tell them that it's going to give them heart disease.  Sure it tastes good and provides relaxation and enjoyment, but how can anyone relax and enjoy something that is so unhealthy?  And how does one keep one's mouth shut when apparently others are not aware of the contents of what they are consuming?  It's a different story if they are fully aware and don't care and eat/drink it anyway.  Then it's their problem.  They might get a raised eyebrow and a tsk tsk from me but if they know what they're doing, they're on their own. 

So this is my dilemma.  Do I want to be that person to always tell people that...Coffeemate is massively hydrogenated, Slim Fast is garbage in a can, Vitamin Water is no better than soda, or that daily multivitamin they are taking is no better than swallowing one of your kids Littlest Pet Shop pieces?

No, I don't always want to be the one.  But who else is going to tell them?  Are they better off living in ignorance?  Some people would say yes, live and let live.

I kept my mouth shut about something once and later on when the person found out what bad ingredients were in it, she asked me why I didn't say anything.  Because I'm always the bearer of bad news, and it's not always a fun position.  When I get a good reaction and someone is actually grateful for the information I've shared, then I feel good about it and it's worth the risk of putting myself out there.  But I have been in the position where I've been asked 'what am I doing wrong, now?' with no shortage of attitude.  Like THAT wouldn't make someone uncomfortable!

I'm not trying to be a know-it-all, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad.  I do it because I care.  So, that said, if you want to hear what you're doing wrong...you know where to come! 

Drinking coffee till I vibrate is bad, bad, bad.

The other day I ran across a blurb somewhere that said ‘drinking two or more cups of coffee a day makes it near impossible to burn fat’.  Hmm.  You don’t say.  That explains things a little bit.

I wonder then, how it is that us ‘normal’ people are supposed to get all jacked-up enough every morning to get kids clean and dressed, lunches made, snacks packed, homework located, and their bodies thrown out the door in time for the bus to scoop them up and away from us, so that we may actually shower by ourselves once in a while.

Apparently… <insert giant exasperated eye roll>  coffee makes your body acidic, and when you’re in an ‘acid state’ you retain the fat from every little bite of cheesecake and breakfast sausage that crosses your lips.  In order for you to burn off that retained fat, your acid level must decrease.  Which of course means ‘stop drinking all that coffee’, among other things of course.  The other things I can handle…I’m not big on sugary sweets, not a big meat eater, don’t booze it up more than your average stay-at-home mom, etc….but coffee?  Come on, not coffee!! 

I guess I am off to the tea section at the grocery store, and I haven’t had my coffee today, so watch out!!