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My 10-year old hasn't been...performing...as well as he should be and we think we figured out that it's because he is sleep deprived.  He has so much trouble falling asleep at night and naturally gets in lot of trouble for it, but I think the worst thing is seeing what a zombie he is in the morning.  It is heart-wrenching to see this little boy so tired.

It's been going on since probably the beginning of last school year.  His grades have suffered, his sports performance has suffered, his concentration and behavior has suffered.  We've suffered. 

At the most recent parent-teacher conferences, his teacher suggested that if his concentration doesn't improve that our next conference will be a very different conversation.  He's never had attention issues before, and a lot of the issues he had last school year I attributed to his and his teacher's personalities not quite jiving.  But to hear that come out of the mouth of a professional, and that professional be talking about YOUR kid, well needless to say, it's alarming.

It was around the same time that I realized that his sleep situation could really be contributing to what is going on at school.  Yeah, sometimes I'm a little slow on the uptake.  Whatever, nobody's perfect.  The pediatrician suggested I try giving him Melatonin about an hour before bedtime.  Good idea.  Shaklee has a product called Gentle Sleep Complex and I already owned it, so we gave it a try.  Instead of being straight-up Melatonin, which has possibility of side effects and can only be used short-term, it's a combination of herbs that is good and effective.  I've used it...no hangover.  It's been working ok so far, though I did just up the dose a little cause he was still having some trouble falling asleep. 

The other night I handed him the two tablets and went to get a glass of water.  In the time it took for me to get that water, apparently quite a bit of the scent of the tablets had rubbed off on his hand.  As soon as he took the tablets, he then proceeded to wipe his hand on his pants, down the length of his thigh.

You'd think somebody opened a can of crazy-ass cat wack-a-doo.  Our girly-cat, let's call her Black Betty for privacy reasons - she's shy with strangers, flipped out on the boy and started biting his pants and his hand that held the tablets.  She freaked out enough to scare the boy off the sofa to where he cowered by my side, laughing, and from there we watched Black Betty chase invisible flies, roll around, and finally fall off the couch head first.

At this point we were on the floor and in animal territory.  Black Betty's bro, Bam-a-lam-a-lam or Big 'un for short, came sauntering up all casual-like and took a couple sniffs.  Now, Big 'un isn't quite as theatrical as Black Betty is - he is a big, simple, giant, gentle clown and he's got a real fat ass.  No seriously, he weighed more than my daughter until last spring, and she's 6.  Big 'un also made a beeline for the boy's hand/leg area, which tipped us off to the fact that these Gentle Sleep tablets must have something in them the cats wig out over.  The boy ran for the bottle, opened it, and stuck it under the cat's nose.  This action was immediately rewarded by the cat trying to grab the bottle with his teeth and run off, and when he quickly realized that wasn't going to happen he got all sexy on us, rolling over onto his back and open-mouth purring.




Which was a little weird.

I've seen cats on catnip before, and the following is the closest behavior I've ever seen.  At our first apartment, hubby and I had two cats and a corked bottle of catnip.  During the night one night, these cats got the bottle down and chewed the cork to smithereens, spilling the catnip all over the damn place.  I found it in the morning, and having to rush out the door to work, I merely scooped up what I could of the catnip pile and threw it in the sink on my way out the door.  Most of this pile landed in a bowl of water, in the sink.  This bowl of catnippy goodness steeped and brewed all day long, with kitties 1 & 2 sipping from it at will for hours on end.  By the time I got home that night, they were wasted.  I've never seen cats act that way.  We've all heard the term 'bouncing off walls', but this was NUTS.  Running from the floor, up the wall, then back down onto the floor all Matrix-style, attacking each other and our feet, and anything else that seemed mildly threatening - or not threatening enough, basically freaking out in the most entertaining yet slightly disturbing way.

The Gentle Sleep/Valerian Root affected them so differently than your typical catnip high.  I guess the ingredient in it that cats wig out over is Valerian Root.  Some cats don't like it, some do, just like catnip.  And just like catnip, they kinda freak out over it.  Black Betty and Bam-a-lam-a-lam have had catnip before and they've gotten a little nutty and aggressive, but I think Gentle Sleep Complex is the new catnip over here.  The boy did us an accidental favor that night and lost the cap to the bottle (one of the cats grabbed it and ran off and is probably humping it as I type), so the tablets got all weird after being exposed to the air all night.  I'll be buying a new bottle soon, and the weird exposed tablets will be going into a sock for my friends to play with.  I mean, they are here to entertain us.  Have to earn their keep and all...

Good times ahead!!

Thanks Be To Dog

Ever heard that owning a pet can be good for your health?  It's so true.  There have been actual scientific studies done that prove that having certain pet-friends will actually reduce stress and blood pressure in owners, increase longevity in those who've had heart attacks, and even relax and improve the appetites of Alzheimer's patients.  I've been trying to get numerous family members on the cat bandwagon for years, but they all resist (of course).  Pshaw.

It appears that pretty much any stress-related disorder, or any condition/sickness/disease/whatever that is affected or aggravated by stress can be helped by having a pet.  Isn't that amazing?  It makes so much sense.  If you have a pet, go love it up for a minute...it's a total stress reducer!  And they love you back so unconditionally, you can't help but to feel better.  

More than 57% of American households have pets of some sort.  And many of those have more than one.  That's 57% of people that are benefiting from having animals in their lives.  Personally, our zoo consists of one dog, two cats, a guinea pig, and a rat.  There was a toad, but I liberated him recently. 

Aside from the cleaning of cages, discoveries of chewed items, stepping on cold hairballs first thing in the morning, wretched dog breath, barf, pee, poo, hair, etc., our pets have made a big difference in our house, especially for me.  You may have seen my previous blog about pet products, highlighting the beauty queen that is our dog, Stella.  She makes me happy.  She makes me laugh.  We spoon.  She keeps me warm.  She gives me warm fuzzies.  She knocked me down once and I sprained my ankle.  I can hug her when I'm sad, and when I'm raging one look at her goofy face will always make me crack.

Further proof?  I sure will be sad when she dies. 
See?!  Pet = happy.  No pet = sad.

It's a well known (and glaringly obvious) fact that walking your dog every day will help get you active.  How much more true could that be?  If you don't have the motivation to get up and out by yourself, and as long as you would love and take care of it, why not get a dog?  I suppose you could walk a cat, but really if you know anything about cats you know that won't work.  Cats have their own agenda.  Of course there are those that put their pets in special pet strollers.  Hey, if it gets you out and active, I'll try really hard not to think you're weird.

Getting your pet (and yourself) out the door everyday is helpful in other ways, too.  When you're out walking your dog and getting exercise, you run across others doing the same.  You may socialize with these new folks that you may have never seen before if it wasn't for your walks.  New friends - new outlook - exercise and fresh air - better mood.  Dogs can help socially anxious people break the ice.

If you don't have the schedule, availability, or home available to be a dog owner, then volunteer to walk someone else's!  Or see if your local pound would let you walk dogs daily or weekly!  Hey, 57% of your friends and neighbors are pet owners, you know.

Pets can also prevent loneliness.  The majority people who have pets consider them a companion instead of property, and 97% of those people admitted to talking to their pets.  The other 3% lied, cause they totally do too.  They should just admit it.  I talk to the dog and cats constantly, especially when there's no one else home. It's just as good as talking to yourself.

So, there you have it.  Improve your overall health with a pet.  As long as you're not allergic or terrified of animals.  I don't think having a pet and being terrified of it will help you in any way.  If you're considering a pet for any reason, be sure you have the time, resources, and living conditions to provide the care they need and deserve! 

Stow High In Transit

I received an email the other day about a very well-known four-letter word, that is actually an acronym.  I read the email, gave it a raised eyebrow-shrug-hmmm and deleted it and moved on.  But ever since, I've been thinking about it.  Yep, I've been thinking about S.H.I.T.

A little history lesson first:  A zillion years ago when manure used to be transported by ship, it would be dried out and packed so it was nice and light.  Well, naturally once the sturdy wooden ship hit the roiling seas, the manure would inevitably get wet, causing all kinds of bloaty, smelly, even explosive problems.  So, those smarty sailors started posting signs that said Stow High In Transit... as in keep it off the floor of the boat.  Voila, the creation of shit.  I mean S.H.I.T.  Is it a true story?  Like it matters.  It works for me, and its about to work for you, too.

So, speaking of all things poo...

If you have a pet, I'm sure you've seen all the lovely organic products you can bestow on them.  Natural cat litter for your kitty's delicate pee-pee, 'natural' dog food (good luck with that one, I can't even feed my kid organic cereal), I even pondered the possibility of organic cardboard for my daughter's guinea pig. 

I've tried a couple of these products, but always seem to revert back to good old Purina.  Yes, animal lovers, I know.  Shut up.

A couple years ago I got a great deal on this cat litter made from corn by-products.  It advertised no dust to choke you and your poor kitty, biodegradable, no scent to irritate, yada yada.  I had a wicked coupon, so it was a done deal.  Took my 2 bags of natural kitty litter home, feeling all like such a good pet owner and all self-satisfied with my organicalism.  I get this stuff home and fill the litter box with it, and almost barf my guts out at how bad this stuff smells.  And this is BEFORE there was any poo in it!  Fresh out of the bag and this stuff was already wretched.  It was definitely a source of contention with the other members of my household until it was gone.  So I guess I'm scarred for life, cause I haven't tried 'natural' litter since. 

Moving on.

I love my dog.  She's a 10 year old boxer named Stella, she has a big weird bumpy lumpy thing on her butt cheek, she has the worst breath in the world, and some of her bottom teeth stick out over her lip.  She's got a great smile!  I think she may be at least half goat, cause she'll eat anything (except natural dog food).  She'll eat pretty much everything else. Come to think of it, I think boxers are probably descended from goats and deer.  Any boxer-parent knows what I'm talking about.  Anyway, she's gorgeous and she is the best dog ever ever in the world and that's not just cause she's mine.  If you met her you'd like her better than your dog too. 

See what I mean?  Don't be jealous, and no you can't have her.

Except for this one little problem...well, ok there's many.  But here are two of the most relevant: 

1. She's really bad for my indoor air quality.  Her gas...oh God.  Is this due to the un-organic food I give her?  Am I ruining her poor little body cause I'm too cheap to let Paul Newman feed her?  I've tried the natural stuff on her...not even close.  Boxers have very expressive faces. One look from Stella and it's all over...you know exactly what she's thinking and it is clearly that there is no way she was going to eat that particular food.  Good intentions aside, I'm not going to spend a lot of money on dog food that my dog won't eat.  Simple.  End of story.

2. Stella thinks that the cat's litter box is her own personal cookie jar.  Time for a litter fritter, Stella?  This certainly doesn't help with the breath situation.  What's a dogmom to do?  I mean, I feed the cats (very) un-organic food, and I use that dusty, perfumey, cruddy litter!  If it's good enough for my dog to sneak off, tiptoe (yes, she tiptoes!) over to the laundry room to quietly rummage through the box for her little morsel of goodness, and risk getting in trouble cause you KNOW mama's got ears like a hawk...the cat food must be pretty darn good.

So, it comes around again - am I damaging my pets by not feeding them organic and letting them pee on recycled newspaper or vegetable by-products?  I don't know.  I mean, I hope not.  But the stuff is expensive, and you know how it is when you change your pet's food...there's no guarantee they're going to eat it.  My BFF tried to feed her cats this fancy food with mini-shrimp and gravy and stuff...they tried to bury it like it was a turd.  Lucky for my friend she got it for free and wasn't out any money.

I've heard people say some natural or safe cat litters are great, and I'm sure they are.  For those people.  I've heard of people who feed their dogs all 'real food' like raw meat and rice and whatnot.  That is some dedicated dog-parenting, I tell ya.  Good for them, huh?!  But I'm not gonna do it.  Maybe one of these days I will find another coupon and get one of those healthier pet products for cheap, we'll all love it, Stella will even love it a second time around, and me and my zoo will live happily ever after.  But for now - or until I win the lottery and hire my pets a personal chef and maid - I will have to stick with what I can afford and what doesn't offend my senses any more than necessary.

Sorry, pets....I do love you!!  Now come here and let me squeeze the S.H.I.T. out of you!!

Post Script:  I just realized that there is something eco-friendly I do for my dog.  I wash her in Basic H2!!  You know, Shaklee's organic cleaning concentrate that cleans everything you could ever imagine, including your pets.  Yay, I'm a good dogmom after all!!