B*tches Gotta Eat

So I've been pretty good in the food department lately, really trying to be healthy and make good choices (per my commitment in this previous blog).  Yeah, I been working out too, thanks for asking.  You don't get to look like this by doin' nothin' *wink wink*.

One of my sweet-ass girls started a Facebook group where some of us can go to post about what we're eating, what we're hopefully NOT eating, suggestions, tips, blah blah blah.  There have been some pretty damn good recipes posted lately, of which I've tried quite a few.  I've vegetarianized, if not completely veganized, the recipes to stick with my own program, but you certainly don't have to.  They're all low-fat, good for you food that actually tastes good.  Amazing, no?

I figured I would post them for you-all who may also be on the healthy-eating bandwagon, are sick of salads, and think vegan is another word for tofu.

Here you go, skinny bitches:

I veeged this one.  Veeged is a new word, by the way.  I made it up just now.  It's short for veganized, which is clearly way too long.

Point is, I used veggie broth (I used the whole 32 oz carton, which was 4 C instead of only 2 C., then 2 C of water instead of 4.  Yeah, it's good).  I didn't use the cheese or cheese rind, though I'm sure it would have made it even more of a smashing success.  I did use semolina pasta, though at least it was organic.

This soup is da bombdiggity.  My 6 year old totally loves it.  Plus, any food that gives the kids gas is ok in their books...if it makes them fart, they're in.  Moving on.

Unless you really love the crap out of oatmeal, I would recommend cutting this recipe in half.  It makes a TON.  I changed mine up a little bit (surprise surprise) due to what I had on hand, and I also found that it needed a little more agave than called for in the recipe.  Very good, very filling, very kid-friendly!

This next one comes from Hungry Girl, and is the shiznit. Kids LOVE this stuff.  It can totally be veeged but you've got to micromanage your enchilada sauce.  Vegetable broth, tofu if you want it, and obviously no chicken.  The recipe posted as-is is VERY good and very low fat, but it's up to you what you want to do.  Except enjoy it...that's not an option.  YOU WILL ENJOY IT.

Isn't it pretty?  Find it HERE.  And while you're there, check out her other recipes, she's got some good stuff!

Coming up next...

 
I made myself a cute little version of this for lunch the other day, and oh me oh my...it was deeelish.  I posted this recipe cause it was my inspiration, though mine was not nearly as involved.  I had a bag of frozen sweet potato cubes, which I boiled into thaw-ness.  I sauteed half an onion in coconut oil till it was lovely, threw in the sweet potatoes, grabbed a jar of roasted red peppers and cut a few into chunks and threw that in.  Wrapped it all up in a couple of sprouted-grain tortillas from Ezekiel, and man was I impressed with myself.  You can be too!  Either with me, or yourself, whatever floats your boat.

I may be posting more of these types of recipes, so keep an eye out.  And if you've got any you'd like to see in a blog, send them along!  I'll even give you hungry b*tches the cred.  Just like being a celebrity.

Till next time, love yous!!

The Good, The Bad and The Gelatinous

As the growing season starts and so many good little gardeners are outside planting seeds for vegetables and assessing fruit trees and bushes, the question of organic vs. non-organic seems to be at the forefront of a lot of discussions.  Organic vs. non-organic has become a pretty mainstream topic, and although there are all sorts of articles and t.v. shows and blurbs on the news (or blogs!) there are still so many who question what to do.

Organic is too expensive, say some.  It's worth it, say others.  You may be somewhere in between.  I am.  I would prefer to buy all organic and I wish I could afford $8 strawberries, but it's just not realistic. You may have heard of the 'Dirty Dozen'...the worst fruits and vegetables to buy non-organic.  If not, you can see it here.

If you're one of those good little gardeners who grow their own...good for you!  I wish I was a better gardener.  I really like it...I mean even the flowers, vegetables, all of it, but I have a major brown thumb.  I plant, and they inevitably die a dried up, withered death.  I can't even keep a houseplant alive.  There are some garden items that seem to take care of themselves, which is nice.  Strawberries, raspberries, some herbs.  The fruit trees just need occasional trimming, no biggie.  Rhubarb.  They just grow and grow.  If it's really low-maintenance and I can't screw it up too much, it's alright by me.  Or should I say, it's relatively safe FROM me.

I do like to be out there in the garden digging holes and planting, laying it all out, pulling weeds, etc.  But really I think my worst issue is the bugs.  As soon as the mosquitoes are in full swing, the spiders are as big as your hand, and the fliers have no concept of personal space...I'm outty.  I'm done.  No spray (though H2 wipes work pretty well) can fix it, I just can't tolerate the bugs. 

Last weekend I took the boy to the nursery and shopped around in the pouring rain.  That was fun.  While there, I noticed some vegetable plants, I think these particular ones were patio tomatoes, planted in this weird clear gel stuff.  After my initial recoil, my first thought was to wonder if the inside of the tomato turns out as gelatinous as the stuff it's growing in.  Yuckedy yuck!  I still don't know what that gel is (yes of course I Googled it), or despite some website claims - how non-toxic and biodegradable it is.  I just can't see myself being comfortable eating a vegetable that I picked off a plant grown in the same type of gel that a baby pees on in their diapers night and day.  What...?  Doesn't that sound delicious?

Finding this abomination inspired me to post a poll on my Facebook page:  Would you knowingly eat a vegetable grown in that water-retaining gel stuff?  I mean, maybe I'm overreacting and it's the best eco-friendly, organic enabling, water-conserving goo there has ever been!  Aside from my favorite hecklers who answer so many of my nutritional-type posts with just simply 'Bacon!' - you know who you are - I only got two serious answers.  The first answer was basically a resounding 'Oh hellll no!', and the other...the other was a little disturbing.  (Sorry babe, if you're reading this I don't mean to pick on you).  The answer was; 'No. That is why I do not want to know.'.  This baffles me.  Being so conscious of chemicals, and I fully acknowledge that not everyone is like me, this is something I think about with every vegetable I pick up.  Sometimes I will not buy an item at all if I don't like the looks of it and if organic is too expensive.  And I don't mean I skip it cause it's not pretty enough.  I mean, it's too damn pretty or the packaging looks...too...happy.  I don't know. 

Moving on.  

The other day a headline really caught my eye...when 'exploding' and 'watermelons' are in the same sentence...I mean, come on.  Like that doesn't sound fun?  I had to click it and see what was up.  I learned that a whole bunch of watermelon crops being grown in China were ruined because the melons exploded.  Exploded!  Awesome!!  No, no, forget I said that.  Not awesome.  The reason they exploded was because the Chinese farmers used some sort of growth chemical (forchlorfenuron) that caused the watermelons to grow so quickly that thousands of them burst right out there in those Chinese fields.  *Side note:  As it turns out, that same chemical is approved for use in the U.S. for grapes, raisins, and kiwi fruit, and is toxic to honey bees.  Just so you know.  And wouldn't you rather know?


In this day and age of 8 & 9 year olds getting their periods, I would certainly rather know whether my fruits and vegetables (or milk or meat or whatever) have been treated with some growth-inducing crapola.  You eat it, and it's in you.  This isn't confined to what I talked about above, either.  Pesticides, antibiotics, hormones, chemicals of every shape and form.  Ever heard this one...? -->  You are what you eat.


Now that we know what Chinese farmers did to their watermelons to make more money, do you wonder what they're doing in all aspects of food production?  I do.  China is infamous for pollution, ground contamination, poor practices in food production.  Arsenic in soy sauce, borax in pork, melamine in milk, and pharmaceuticals in water and earth.  Their lenient policies in these areas make them very successful producers.  And a lot of stuff comes out of China.  

One of those things I found not too long ago that really really bothers me is Capri Sun....because apparently we don't have enough apples here in the U.S. to make our own juice boxes...?   So we're even buying juice from China.  Why?

Because it's cheap and kids dig it.  Kids like it because it tastes good.  How can something taste so good, and be loaded with so much shit?  Sugar and artificial flavors in juice.  Why?  The real thing is great!  Sweet, refreshing, good for you.  It may not be blue or come in a fancy little pouch, but the kids drink it all the same. 


Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the Chinese or importing other stuff from there.  But food?  I mean, freaking APPLE JUICE?  Obviously some things only grow in certain places, but I'm not talking about those.  Let's buy local, folks.  Or grow your own. Enough with the Chinese Capri Sun!  Get it together out there.  

No excuses, either.  I'm lucky to have a yard big enough for fruit trees and a garden, but I've also knocked on peoples doors to see if they were going to use the zillion apples hanging off the 7 trees in their yard, or the mulberries the birds are feasting on, or the pears hanging neglected.  Join your local freecycle!  There are constantly people posting free vegetables, fruit, whatever.  Make friends with your green-thumbed neighbor!  If they are supplying you with zucchini and green beans, suck it up and pretend to like them.  It's all out there, and it doesn't have to be from the other side of the world.


Be careful what you eat, what you buy, what you put in and on your body.  I can't say it enough.  Be aware and be knowledgeable.  And if you get an overwhelming desire for exploding items, for goodness sakes, the 4th of July is just around the corner! 

Bursting Bubbles and Raining on Parades

Did you ever see that SNL skit that is set up like a commercial for high fructose corn syrup?  If you haven't, enjoy it here.  It's hilarious and I definitely got a good laugh out of it at the end, but I have to be honest when I say that in the beginning when the party-host mom starts going off on the other woman, I started to sweat.

It made me anxious cause that's totally me, I'm the one who's always telling people what they're doing wrong and I often wonder what people think when they see me coming.

"What's she going to tell us we're doing wrong, this time?  Hide your snack foods and drinks folks, cause here she comes!" 

All people want to do is enjoy their cup of coffee with Italian Sweet Cream Coffeemate in peace, and here I come to tell them that it's going to give them heart disease.  Sure it tastes good and provides relaxation and enjoyment, but how can anyone relax and enjoy something that is so unhealthy?  And how does one keep one's mouth shut when apparently others are not aware of the contents of what they are consuming?  It's a different story if they are fully aware and don't care and eat/drink it anyway.  Then it's their problem.  They might get a raised eyebrow and a tsk tsk from me but if they know what they're doing, they're on their own. 

So this is my dilemma.  Do I want to be that person to always tell people that...Coffeemate is massively hydrogenated, Slim Fast is garbage in a can, Vitamin Water is no better than soda, or that daily multivitamin they are taking is no better than swallowing one of your kids Littlest Pet Shop pieces?

No, I don't always want to be the one.  But who else is going to tell them?  Are they better off living in ignorance?  Some people would say yes, live and let live.

I kept my mouth shut about something once and later on when the person found out what bad ingredients were in it, she asked me why I didn't say anything.  Because I'm always the bearer of bad news, and it's not always a fun position.  When I get a good reaction and someone is actually grateful for the information I've shared, then I feel good about it and it's worth the risk of putting myself out there.  But I have been in the position where I've been asked 'what am I doing wrong, now?' with no shortage of attitude.  Like THAT wouldn't make someone uncomfortable!

I'm not trying to be a know-it-all, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad.  I do it because I care.  So, that said, if you want to hear what you're doing wrong...you know where to come! 

The Great Lunch Debate

I pack my kids lunches for school about half the time.  The other days they buy it at school.  There is a marked difference between what I pack and what the school serves.  We have a large selection of lunch boxes with characters, and thermoses and flip-straw cups.  Some days the school menu is just too good to pass up, so they buy it.  It's ok.  Everything in moderation.

I get the same complaints almost every 'cold-lunch' day; 'why can't we have white bread?', 'I want Capri Sun!', 'why do you buy such weird stuff?'.  But when I'm packing, they get what I give them and that's that.  I get pretty consistent resistance from the boy no matter what I'm serving, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  He has actually said 'No thanks mom, I don't really like food'. On the opposite side of the spectrum, my beebs (the girl) is quite compliant and will eat just about anything.

Amazingly, both of my kids now have said to me recently that they don't like hot lunch at school, the food is gross, and probably hydrogenated.  Yes, they actually said that!  Hallelujah!  Have they really been listening to me all along? They know the difference between a healthy lunch from home and the processed slop they serve the kids under the guise of 'healthy'!  Hot lunch at school sure is convenient, but I can pack lunches, and I certainly won't cry about not having to spend that money - if both kids buy lunch, it's almost $5 a day! 

It's interesting to me that a school lunch program considers processed butts-n-beaks chicken nuggets a healthy choice because they are 'breaded in whole grains'.  Really?  Whole grains, huh?  Right-o, it must be health food!  I mean, do they seriously consider french fries a vegetable?! Actually, ya. They do.  This is a perfect example of why supplementing their (and our) diets with vitamins is so important.  The food they serve through these programs is nutritionally insufficient, as is much of the food available to all of us.  Modern mass production of food is not good for the nutritional content of that food...things are not the same as they were 50 years ago! 

It's certainly no secret that many school lunch programs in this country are lacking in so many ways.  The USDA guidelines are out of date and you know, I'm thinking that the organization as a whole could use an enema.  Back when the guidelines were created - over a hundred years ago - malnutrition was the epidemic, not the obesity epidemic we face today.  The current USDA guidelines also served the purpose of a marketing strategy to get people to support the agricultural industries.  The industries might have needed the help back then, but I dare say they are a little more stable these days.  Naturally the dairy and meat industries don't want you to decrease your consumption of their products, no matter how unhealthy it is for you or what doctors and scientists say are the correct amounts.  It's a conspiracy, I tell you!  Jamie Oliver, help us! 

So, I ask the kids what kind of stuff I can pick up at the store to pack in their lunches, with 'healthy' being the underlying theme.  I'm looking for some ideas of a couple different fruits, some sort of sandwich fixins, maybe veggies and dip, you know...veggie-tofu stir-fry in the thermos - ok, that last one may be getting a bit carried away, but I'm so excited about the kids volunteering to make healthier choices that my expectation meter is going through the roof.

The beebs tells me she doesn't care, as long as she can put it in her new Dora lunchbox.  Wait...she wants to take her lunch because she wants healthier food, right?  She really gets bent out of shape when something is hydrogenated, I mean, she's literally cried over Oreos so it couldn't possibly be just the lunchbox.

The boy says, 'I want a lunch like ______'s !'

Well  now ______'s mom is a nurse, so of course I do a little internal jump for joy.  A nurse knows about good nutrition, right?!  I stand riveted, with a smile plastered on my face....

'His mom packs him a Slim Jim, a Ho-ho, a Hi-C juice box, and a piece of candy for dessert.  I want that.'

Despite the questionable source for this information, my eyes roll back in my head, I go to my happy place and imagine that I end our conversation like this:

'Listen boy, you'll eat what I give you and you'll LIKE IT.  I don't want to hear how the ass clowns at your lunch table make fun of you cause you're the only one eating brown bread, or the juice in your juice box is partly vegetables.  Some day you'll thank me for not feeding you a pile of crap that rots your guts, makes you fat and gives you cancer!  Now beat it, or I'll show you where you can put your Ho-hos!'

My head spins, and as I fade into unconsciousness I hear a dreamy sounding, 'yes, Mommy I'll eat it.  I love it, Mommy, it's yummy!  Can I have more green vegetables please, Mommy, they're my favorite.....'

Mummy Dearest

We all know that processed convenience foods are not good for us.  Right?  RIGHT?  Of course we know that.  One of the reasons...as if we needed another...is preservatives.  What I'm about to tell you, be it hearsay or not, may convince you to never eat another 'preserved' food again.  Apparently, Americans consume so many preservative-laden foods each and every day that when we die, our bodies are not decomposing like they should.  Everything about that is just GROSS.

Did you know that typical grocery store brands of vitamins are so full of synthetic ingredients, that when port-o-potty companies clean them out they find whole vitamins in the holding tanks?  Those aren't the kind of vitamins I'd want to take.  I mean, what's the point?  I've heard the ridiculous argument before about why you shouldn't bother paying more for quality vitamins...the only difference it makes is that you have expensive pee.  I guess the port-o-potty findings take that to a whole new level.

You know all those food packages and signs at fast-food restaurants that claim 'No Trans Fats!'?  I'm sure you've seen them and been comforted by their presence.  Did you know that when you eat a food that contains hydrogenated oils that when your body processes them they get turned into trans fats?  Did you know?  Well you do now.  Nice marketing ploy guys, but we're on to you.

Don't fall for these advertising scams that claim 'corn sugar' (high fructose corn syrup) is a natural product.  No it's not!!  By whose freaking dumb ass standards???  Since HFCS has gotten such a bad rap, industry will try and cover their asses by changing the same to something so harmless sounding as 'corn sugar'.  How dumb do they think we are?  At this point I would hope that we are all aware of the damage that HFCS does to our bodies.  If not, read up folks.  Educate yourselves.  However natural the (GMO, but that's a whole different blog) ingredients used to make HFCS or corn sugar started out, rest assured that by the time they make it onto the shelf in the grocery store they have been processed beyond the point that they can be recognized as a natural food item.

I repeat, educate yourselves.  The government is not looking out for us.  The FDA and USDA have taken on a whole new meaning in my vocabulary, and those letters stand for something I shouldn't write here.  The best we can do is arm ourselves with knowledge.  We can all be healthier, and it really doesn't mean making huge extreme changes.  Pay attention to what you eat.  Read labels in the grocery store and have a list of ingredients that you avoid.  If that's too much work, then at least stick to the outer rim of the grocery and skip all the processed stuff in the middle.  None of us needs it.  I may have eaten a big, fat, beautiful reuben sandwich yesterday, but you bet it was organic pumpernickel bread, and organic 1000 Island, and organic sauerkraut.  Maybe the ingredients aren't the healthiest to begin with, but splurging on a less than ideal meal once in a while isn't going kill you as long as you put it together with the best ingredients you can. 

A friend of mine posted a blog today about how important it is that we take care of ourselves and I couldn't agree more. You're the only one of you there is and you've only got one body and it shouldn't end up mummified because of your diet.  No one else is going to take care of it for you, so get to it!!