In-Flu...a diet??

I had food poisoning a couple weeks ago, after eating some apparently toxic pizza.  It was not a pleasant experience, of which I am sure many of you are aware.  As I was laying on the bathroom floor, freezing cold and sweating buckets, I had this crazy thought:  'This sucks but at least I'll lose a couple pounds and wake up with a flat stomach'.

Call it sick-brain talking.  Call it delusional.  Call it whatever you want, but don't deny that you haven't thought it yourself.  I'm actually pretty impressed that I was lucid enough to have purposely thought that little bit of genius.

Now that cold and flu season are imminent, people are rushing out all over the place to get shot up with the flu du jour, getting stocked on medicines and fluids and all.  Getting flu shots is totally a personal preference, and though I can site a zillion articles about why flu shots are bad, it's my opinion and a touchy subject and I really don't feel like getting into it.  My family doesn't get them.  Period.

Naturally (no pun intended) we do other things like diet, supplement, exercise, etc. to make sure we have healthy immune systems and when something does come our way we fight it and treat it, and drink our Performance (Shaklee's version of Gatorade), let it run its course, and if anything were to get out of hand there's the urgent care department at the docs office.  We eat good and take our vitamins and probiotics like good little anti-flu shot folks, but no matter what we do, germs will continue to float around like crazy.  Especially for those with kids in school with their sticky hands all touching everything all the time, precautions must be taken.  Hand washing is obviously important, using tissues and your coughing corner, cleaning and disinfecting your surfaces constantly (and safely!), etc. etc.  More common sense stuff that everyone knows.  Or should know.  If you don't, you've got problems.

Considering the candy-binge holiday that is in our very recent history, let me tell you a little tidbit about sugar and your immune system.  They don't get along.  You know how people say Vitamin C helps when you have a cold or flu cause it boosts your immune system?  Then they reach for the orange juice and all their problems are solved, right?  Wrong.  Vitamin C is good, yes.  But do me a favor and stay away from fruit juices.  Why?  Cause sugar puts your immune system right to sleep.  There have been studies done, so I'm not just making this up, specifically with orange juice, that prove this.  So just do yourself a favor and skip the juice, try a Vitamin C supplement and call it a day.

No matter what precautions we take, there is still always the chance that we can (will) contract the flu and spend a minimum of 24 hours barfing and shitting our guts out, not eating anything, laying in bed sweating and being gross and stinky and feeling like poo.

But honestly...how many of you have had the thought that if your kids DO bring home the flu (again) this year and you spend a couple days taking care of them and ultimately yourself doing the above mentioned activities...at least you'll lose a couple pounds?! 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any saying that you should purposely go out and get yourself on the flu-diet.  That's just dumb.  But let's look at the bright side.  Hey, there's always a bright side!  There's always an honest side too, so don't try and tell me that its a crazy thought that you'd never even consider.  You know you've thought it.

So good luck, ya'll.  Yeah, I said ya'll.  Whether you get the flu this year or you dodge the bullet, whether you get it or just don't...take care of yourselves!!  And if you want a REAL weight loss program, let me know!

The Good, The Bad and The Gelatinous

As the growing season starts and so many good little gardeners are outside planting seeds for vegetables and assessing fruit trees and bushes, the question of organic vs. non-organic seems to be at the forefront of a lot of discussions.  Organic vs. non-organic has become a pretty mainstream topic, and although there are all sorts of articles and t.v. shows and blurbs on the news (or blogs!) there are still so many who question what to do.

Organic is too expensive, say some.  It's worth it, say others.  You may be somewhere in between.  I am.  I would prefer to buy all organic and I wish I could afford $8 strawberries, but it's just not realistic. You may have heard of the 'Dirty Dozen'...the worst fruits and vegetables to buy non-organic.  If not, you can see it here.

If you're one of those good little gardeners who grow their own...good for you!  I wish I was a better gardener.  I really like it...I mean even the flowers, vegetables, all of it, but I have a major brown thumb.  I plant, and they inevitably die a dried up, withered death.  I can't even keep a houseplant alive.  There are some garden items that seem to take care of themselves, which is nice.  Strawberries, raspberries, some herbs.  The fruit trees just need occasional trimming, no biggie.  Rhubarb.  They just grow and grow.  If it's really low-maintenance and I can't screw it up too much, it's alright by me.  Or should I say, it's relatively safe FROM me.

I do like to be out there in the garden digging holes and planting, laying it all out, pulling weeds, etc.  But really I think my worst issue is the bugs.  As soon as the mosquitoes are in full swing, the spiders are as big as your hand, and the fliers have no concept of personal space...I'm outty.  I'm done.  No spray (though H2 wipes work pretty well) can fix it, I just can't tolerate the bugs. 

Last weekend I took the boy to the nursery and shopped around in the pouring rain.  That was fun.  While there, I noticed some vegetable plants, I think these particular ones were patio tomatoes, planted in this weird clear gel stuff.  After my initial recoil, my first thought was to wonder if the inside of the tomato turns out as gelatinous as the stuff it's growing in.  Yuckedy yuck!  I still don't know what that gel is (yes of course I Googled it), or despite some website claims - how non-toxic and biodegradable it is.  I just can't see myself being comfortable eating a vegetable that I picked off a plant grown in the same type of gel that a baby pees on in their diapers night and day.  What...?  Doesn't that sound delicious?

Finding this abomination inspired me to post a poll on my Facebook page:  Would you knowingly eat a vegetable grown in that water-retaining gel stuff?  I mean, maybe I'm overreacting and it's the best eco-friendly, organic enabling, water-conserving goo there has ever been!  Aside from my favorite hecklers who answer so many of my nutritional-type posts with just simply 'Bacon!' - you know who you are - I only got two serious answers.  The first answer was basically a resounding 'Oh hellll no!', and the other...the other was a little disturbing.  (Sorry babe, if you're reading this I don't mean to pick on you).  The answer was; 'No. That is why I do not want to know.'.  This baffles me.  Being so conscious of chemicals, and I fully acknowledge that not everyone is like me, this is something I think about with every vegetable I pick up.  Sometimes I will not buy an item at all if I don't like the looks of it and if organic is too expensive.  And I don't mean I skip it cause it's not pretty enough.  I mean, it's too damn pretty or the packaging looks...too...happy.  I don't know. 

Moving on.  

The other day a headline really caught my eye...when 'exploding' and 'watermelons' are in the same sentence...I mean, come on.  Like that doesn't sound fun?  I had to click it and see what was up.  I learned that a whole bunch of watermelon crops being grown in China were ruined because the melons exploded.  Exploded!  Awesome!!  No, no, forget I said that.  Not awesome.  The reason they exploded was because the Chinese farmers used some sort of growth chemical (forchlorfenuron) that caused the watermelons to grow so quickly that thousands of them burst right out there in those Chinese fields.  *Side note:  As it turns out, that same chemical is approved for use in the U.S. for grapes, raisins, and kiwi fruit, and is toxic to honey bees.  Just so you know.  And wouldn't you rather know?


In this day and age of 8 & 9 year olds getting their periods, I would certainly rather know whether my fruits and vegetables (or milk or meat or whatever) have been treated with some growth-inducing crapola.  You eat it, and it's in you.  This isn't confined to what I talked about above, either.  Pesticides, antibiotics, hormones, chemicals of every shape and form.  Ever heard this one...? -->  You are what you eat.


Now that we know what Chinese farmers did to their watermelons to make more money, do you wonder what they're doing in all aspects of food production?  I do.  China is infamous for pollution, ground contamination, poor practices in food production.  Arsenic in soy sauce, borax in pork, melamine in milk, and pharmaceuticals in water and earth.  Their lenient policies in these areas make them very successful producers.  And a lot of stuff comes out of China.  

One of those things I found not too long ago that really really bothers me is Capri Sun....because apparently we don't have enough apples here in the U.S. to make our own juice boxes...?   So we're even buying juice from China.  Why?

Because it's cheap and kids dig it.  Kids like it because it tastes good.  How can something taste so good, and be loaded with so much shit?  Sugar and artificial flavors in juice.  Why?  The real thing is great!  Sweet, refreshing, good for you.  It may not be blue or come in a fancy little pouch, but the kids drink it all the same. 


Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the Chinese or importing other stuff from there.  But food?  I mean, freaking APPLE JUICE?  Obviously some things only grow in certain places, but I'm not talking about those.  Let's buy local, folks.  Or grow your own. Enough with the Chinese Capri Sun!  Get it together out there.  

No excuses, either.  I'm lucky to have a yard big enough for fruit trees and a garden, but I've also knocked on peoples doors to see if they were going to use the zillion apples hanging off the 7 trees in their yard, or the mulberries the birds are feasting on, or the pears hanging neglected.  Join your local freecycle!  There are constantly people posting free vegetables, fruit, whatever.  Make friends with your green-thumbed neighbor!  If they are supplying you with zucchini and green beans, suck it up and pretend to like them.  It's all out there, and it doesn't have to be from the other side of the world.


Be careful what you eat, what you buy, what you put in and on your body.  I can't say it enough.  Be aware and be knowledgeable.  And if you get an overwhelming desire for exploding items, for goodness sakes, the 4th of July is just around the corner! 

Bursting Bubbles and Raining on Parades

Did you ever see that SNL skit that is set up like a commercial for high fructose corn syrup?  If you haven't, enjoy it here.  It's hilarious and I definitely got a good laugh out of it at the end, but I have to be honest when I say that in the beginning when the party-host mom starts going off on the other woman, I started to sweat.

It made me anxious cause that's totally me, I'm the one who's always telling people what they're doing wrong and I often wonder what people think when they see me coming.

"What's she going to tell us we're doing wrong, this time?  Hide your snack foods and drinks folks, cause here she comes!" 

All people want to do is enjoy their cup of coffee with Italian Sweet Cream Coffeemate in peace, and here I come to tell them that it's going to give them heart disease.  Sure it tastes good and provides relaxation and enjoyment, but how can anyone relax and enjoy something that is so unhealthy?  And how does one keep one's mouth shut when apparently others are not aware of the contents of what they are consuming?  It's a different story if they are fully aware and don't care and eat/drink it anyway.  Then it's their problem.  They might get a raised eyebrow and a tsk tsk from me but if they know what they're doing, they're on their own. 

So this is my dilemma.  Do I want to be that person to always tell people that...Coffeemate is massively hydrogenated, Slim Fast is garbage in a can, Vitamin Water is no better than soda, or that daily multivitamin they are taking is no better than swallowing one of your kids Littlest Pet Shop pieces?

No, I don't always want to be the one.  But who else is going to tell them?  Are they better off living in ignorance?  Some people would say yes, live and let live.

I kept my mouth shut about something once and later on when the person found out what bad ingredients were in it, she asked me why I didn't say anything.  Because I'm always the bearer of bad news, and it's not always a fun position.  When I get a good reaction and someone is actually grateful for the information I've shared, then I feel good about it and it's worth the risk of putting myself out there.  But I have been in the position where I've been asked 'what am I doing wrong, now?' with no shortage of attitude.  Like THAT wouldn't make someone uncomfortable!

I'm not trying to be a know-it-all, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad.  I do it because I care.  So, that said, if you want to hear what you're doing wrong...you know where to come! 

Who are you, anyway?

As many are, my business is about people.  I also like to get in other people's business, but that's neither here nor there.  My business is to help people get as healthy as possible, educate them so they make better choices, and heckle them incessantly until they listen to me.  FYI, I like being listened to.

Part of the social marketing training process is to figure out your 'sphere of influence'.  This is anyone and everyone that you 'touch'.  NO, you perv, not literally.  If your life touches their life in some way, they can be counted in your sphere.  Most of us have several hundred people we can count, whether we realize it or not.  Family, friends, co-workers, those are just the obvious.  The ones you might not think of...the lady at the post office, the one that stands behind you at Body Pump and admires your triceps, the cashier at the grocery store.  People that you don't even know their name, or in some cases, what they look like. Lots of people, lots and lots, influencing each other all over the place.

What we directly or indirectly influence people to do is a big part of who we are.  So, who are you?  And, now that you know that you have the potential to influence so many...what would you influence them to do?

Be trendy and wear particular clothes, or a particular bag.  Use a particular type of cell phone.  Wear a particular brand of work out clothes.  Walk a certain dog wearing a certain sweater on a particular street?  Maybe, but these things we can do without trying, and without making the other person's life any better or any worse.  I'm not a big fan of small dogs so I'd have to say maybe in the case of the dog it would be worse, but whatever.

How about if you set out specifically to influence people to only buy certain types of food or start a healthy eating plan?  Or to start a workout program?  It would probably improve the person's quality of life, and there you go being influential in a GOOD way.  Nice job, you!!  Doesn't it feel good?!

That's why I do what I do.  It makes me feel good.  It's part of who I am and I spread it around like butter, on everyone and everything I touch.  Shut up, that's not gross.  Our sphere of influence grows and changes all the time.  The opportunities that come up with these changes are invaluable to us, no matter what we are influencing.  I want to be sure that I am influencing positively, and I hope you do too.  Of course, being in business, there are business aspects to influencing my sphere too.

I was at a Shaklee event this past weekend where there were 12 guests, all part of my sphere.  They listened and learned, and bought a bunch of stuff that will improve their quality of life.  I'm influencing people in a very positive way that makes them feel good and be healthier. They will tell their families and friends, go to work and tell their co-workers, and onward and upward it grows and grows.  That's how I've grown my business as much as I have and have the success that I do, and you could too, by the way.  Sphere of influence!  And I can say with satisfaction that I'm a pretty darn good influence.  Who. I. Am.

So, have you figured it out yet?  You've got to be careful with this, cause it's a powerful tool - use the power of your sphere for good not evil!  If you would...think about it.  Then answer the question, and be sure to tell me cause inquiring minds want to know.

Who are you, anyway?

Hot MAHMA!!

I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 7 years.  Sometimes I question my sanity, but mostly I am just glad that I'm here.  For us there have been some challenges financially, but we've made it this far.  Actually, in general we are all lucky that we've made it this far, because there are days...oh, there are days where everyone better just count their blessings that they lived through it...

As a SAHM I cook, clean, schedule, run taxi service, decorate, undecorate, bathe people, clothe people, treat what ails them, etc. etc. whatever.  It's what I do and it takes me all day.  Even though I worked for almost two years after the boy was born, I still can't imagine how the moms out there who have full-time jobs get everything done on top of working.  Kudos to you, ladies!

One of the things I've done over the years is try and make (or save) money anywhere I can to help our family finances.  I could probably dedicate another whole blog to my home business mis-adventures.  I've watched kids, done Tupperware, ebay, crafting, couponing on a massive scale, etc. I have to laugh when I think of how many ads in newspapers I've seen for work from home jobs that are total scams, or internet sites about how you can make jillions of dollars by following their simple system...just spend $500 on their package to learn how!  Assemble crafts at home for $350 a week, or stuff envelopes, or something equally too good to be true.  Be a secret shopper! Or internet jury!  It was fun, but none of these things lasted very long or made enough money, though I do still find myself selling stuff on ebay just cause I like it, and I've got a listing on Amazon, too. 

When the boy was in kindergarten three years ago,  I discovered Shaklee.  Since I was already using green and non-toxic products and trying to make money from home, it seemed like a perfect fit.  I got the business presentation, tried a couple of the cleaning products, and I was IN.  The difference between this stuff and the 'green' products I was using from the grocery store is like night and day.  I used to pay $4.79 for a very popular brand of non-toxic cleaner that didn't really work all that well.  Then I moved to paying $2.79 for a different, yet equally popular brand of so-called green cleaner which worked better, but that I later found out was 'green-washed'.  Then I tried Shaklee's all-purpose cleaner to the tune of about 10 cents a bottle, and it cleaned circles around the other stuff while at the same time being green and non-toxic and cheap and just freaking all-around lovely.  By the way, YES I said 10 CENTS per bottle.

Since I became a Project MAHMA mom and been working my business part-time with one or both kids at home, and I've been making a decent amount of extra money.  Now that both of my kids are in school full-time (GOD BLESS whoever created all-day kindergarten) I need to justify my presence at home all day a little more heavily, so I've revised my plan and created my goals.  Three years later, my Shaklee business is on fire, I'm still at home, and I'm significantly contributing to our household finances.  Maybe not full-time corporate job $$ yet, but it will be, and it won't take me too much longer to get there either.  At this point, I don't intend to EVER go back to work.  And at the rate I'm going I won't have to.

Some people really love their jobs that they do outside of their homes.  Some people don't.  I've never been good at taking orders or doing what other people wanted me to and I can't honestly say that looking back on any of the jobs I've had that I was ever a very good employee.  But I am my own best employee, now! 

I'm my own boss too.  I'm really good at it and I'm a pretty darn cool boss if I may say so myself.  You can ask my kids how good I am at bossing them around, they'll tell you.  Heck, if the kids aren't home all day for me to boss around, who else am I going to tell what to do?

Now, somebody go make me a reuben!!

The Great Lunch Debate

I pack my kids lunches for school about half the time.  The other days they buy it at school.  There is a marked difference between what I pack and what the school serves.  We have a large selection of lunch boxes with characters, and thermoses and flip-straw cups.  Some days the school menu is just too good to pass up, so they buy it.  It's ok.  Everything in moderation.

I get the same complaints almost every 'cold-lunch' day; 'why can't we have white bread?', 'I want Capri Sun!', 'why do you buy such weird stuff?'.  But when I'm packing, they get what I give them and that's that.  I get pretty consistent resistance from the boy no matter what I'm serving, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  He has actually said 'No thanks mom, I don't really like food'. On the opposite side of the spectrum, my beebs (the girl) is quite compliant and will eat just about anything.

Amazingly, both of my kids now have said to me recently that they don't like hot lunch at school, the food is gross, and probably hydrogenated.  Yes, they actually said that!  Hallelujah!  Have they really been listening to me all along? They know the difference between a healthy lunch from home and the processed slop they serve the kids under the guise of 'healthy'!  Hot lunch at school sure is convenient, but I can pack lunches, and I certainly won't cry about not having to spend that money - if both kids buy lunch, it's almost $5 a day! 

It's interesting to me that a school lunch program considers processed butts-n-beaks chicken nuggets a healthy choice because they are 'breaded in whole grains'.  Really?  Whole grains, huh?  Right-o, it must be health food!  I mean, do they seriously consider french fries a vegetable?! Actually, ya. They do.  This is a perfect example of why supplementing their (and our) diets with vitamins is so important.  The food they serve through these programs is nutritionally insufficient, as is much of the food available to all of us.  Modern mass production of food is not good for the nutritional content of that food...things are not the same as they were 50 years ago! 

It's certainly no secret that many school lunch programs in this country are lacking in so many ways.  The USDA guidelines are out of date and you know, I'm thinking that the organization as a whole could use an enema.  Back when the guidelines were created - over a hundred years ago - malnutrition was the epidemic, not the obesity epidemic we face today.  The current USDA guidelines also served the purpose of a marketing strategy to get people to support the agricultural industries.  The industries might have needed the help back then, but I dare say they are a little more stable these days.  Naturally the dairy and meat industries don't want you to decrease your consumption of their products, no matter how unhealthy it is for you or what doctors and scientists say are the correct amounts.  It's a conspiracy, I tell you!  Jamie Oliver, help us! 

So, I ask the kids what kind of stuff I can pick up at the store to pack in their lunches, with 'healthy' being the underlying theme.  I'm looking for some ideas of a couple different fruits, some sort of sandwich fixins, maybe veggies and dip, you know...veggie-tofu stir-fry in the thermos - ok, that last one may be getting a bit carried away, but I'm so excited about the kids volunteering to make healthier choices that my expectation meter is going through the roof.

The beebs tells me she doesn't care, as long as she can put it in her new Dora lunchbox.  Wait...she wants to take her lunch because she wants healthier food, right?  She really gets bent out of shape when something is hydrogenated, I mean, she's literally cried over Oreos so it couldn't possibly be just the lunchbox.

The boy says, 'I want a lunch like ______'s !'

Well  now ______'s mom is a nurse, so of course I do a little internal jump for joy.  A nurse knows about good nutrition, right?!  I stand riveted, with a smile plastered on my face....

'His mom packs him a Slim Jim, a Ho-ho, a Hi-C juice box, and a piece of candy for dessert.  I want that.'

Despite the questionable source for this information, my eyes roll back in my head, I go to my happy place and imagine that I end our conversation like this:

'Listen boy, you'll eat what I give you and you'll LIKE IT.  I don't want to hear how the ass clowns at your lunch table make fun of you cause you're the only one eating brown bread, or the juice in your juice box is partly vegetables.  Some day you'll thank me for not feeding you a pile of crap that rots your guts, makes you fat and gives you cancer!  Now beat it, or I'll show you where you can put your Ho-hos!'

My head spins, and as I fade into unconsciousness I hear a dreamy sounding, 'yes, Mommy I'll eat it.  I love it, Mommy, it's yummy!  Can I have more green vegetables please, Mommy, they're my favorite.....'

Mummy Dearest

We all know that processed convenience foods are not good for us.  Right?  RIGHT?  Of course we know that.  One of the reasons...as if we needed another...is preservatives.  What I'm about to tell you, be it hearsay or not, may convince you to never eat another 'preserved' food again.  Apparently, Americans consume so many preservative-laden foods each and every day that when we die, our bodies are not decomposing like they should.  Everything about that is just GROSS.

Did you know that typical grocery store brands of vitamins are so full of synthetic ingredients, that when port-o-potty companies clean them out they find whole vitamins in the holding tanks?  Those aren't the kind of vitamins I'd want to take.  I mean, what's the point?  I've heard the ridiculous argument before about why you shouldn't bother paying more for quality vitamins...the only difference it makes is that you have expensive pee.  I guess the port-o-potty findings take that to a whole new level.

You know all those food packages and signs at fast-food restaurants that claim 'No Trans Fats!'?  I'm sure you've seen them and been comforted by their presence.  Did you know that when you eat a food that contains hydrogenated oils that when your body processes them they get turned into trans fats?  Did you know?  Well you do now.  Nice marketing ploy guys, but we're on to you.

Don't fall for these advertising scams that claim 'corn sugar' (high fructose corn syrup) is a natural product.  No it's not!!  By whose freaking dumb ass standards???  Since HFCS has gotten such a bad rap, industry will try and cover their asses by changing the same to something so harmless sounding as 'corn sugar'.  How dumb do they think we are?  At this point I would hope that we are all aware of the damage that HFCS does to our bodies.  If not, read up folks.  Educate yourselves.  However natural the (GMO, but that's a whole different blog) ingredients used to make HFCS or corn sugar started out, rest assured that by the time they make it onto the shelf in the grocery store they have been processed beyond the point that they can be recognized as a natural food item.

I repeat, educate yourselves.  The government is not looking out for us.  The FDA and USDA have taken on a whole new meaning in my vocabulary, and those letters stand for something I shouldn't write here.  The best we can do is arm ourselves with knowledge.  We can all be healthier, and it really doesn't mean making huge extreme changes.  Pay attention to what you eat.  Read labels in the grocery store and have a list of ingredients that you avoid.  If that's too much work, then at least stick to the outer rim of the grocery and skip all the processed stuff in the middle.  None of us needs it.  I may have eaten a big, fat, beautiful reuben sandwich yesterday, but you bet it was organic pumpernickel bread, and organic 1000 Island, and organic sauerkraut.  Maybe the ingredients aren't the healthiest to begin with, but splurging on a less than ideal meal once in a while isn't going kill you as long as you put it together with the best ingredients you can. 

A friend of mine posted a blog today about how important it is that we take care of ourselves and I couldn't agree more. You're the only one of you there is and you've only got one body and it shouldn't end up mummified because of your diet.  No one else is going to take care of it for you, so get to it!!