This Winter Layer Ain't Cashmere

Brought out your fat pants yet?  I have.  I'm having a real problem, not just in the wardrobe department, but with food.  It just tastes so damn GOOD.  Thanksgiving through New Year's should just be called Food Season.  I even insisted we go with the shorter, wider Christmas tree this year just so I can stand next to it and look lithe and wonderful.  Ha!  Hopeless, I know.

I also fell off the workout wagon.  A couple months ago I sprained my right ankle, then a couple weeks later I sprained my right big toe pretty badly.  Then of course there was the big blistery burn I got when I dropped boiling spaghetti sauce on my right foot, and the possible fracture I sustained when I tried to catch a full *glass* jar of peanut butter with my right foot.  Toes don't like being smashed like that...they're still talking about it.  Sorry, right foot.  I didn't mean it.

It was easy to justify not working out when I couldn't do half the workouts in my classes, but despite my foot's propensity for injury, I haven't gone back now that I'm pretty much healed and fully capable.  At this point it is just laziness, though the couple of pounds I've put on isn't motivating me to go out in public in stretchy pants, either. 

This time of year there is some magical, mystical force that forces us to shove food down our throats when it isn't physiologically necessary.  I have succumbed to the force...even joined the Dark Side.  We're putting on our winter layer.  No, truly, we are putting on a winter layer of fat as insulation, to acclimatize our bodies.  Your body wants you to gain weight.  It's for real science, dude.  Hormone regulation and fat storage are way different in winter than in spring or summer.  Your body's production of Leptin gets all screwed and your body thinks its starving.  I know, right?!  WTF!  So your body produces appetite stimulating hormones so you eat more.

Its a goddam biological conspiracy!

I'm not saying this weight gain is healthy for us, no no.  Let's not get carried away.  I'm just giving an excuse for the lapses in judgement we suffer when standing in front of a table full of luscious, ooey gooey chocolately fruity frosted cream filled desserts.  Science.

With all the holiday gatherings going on, it's easy to load up on all the appetizers, booze, rich foods, booze, desserts, boozy desserts, dessert-y booze... and it's adding up.  FAST.  What's a fatty to do?!

My big idea is to eat healthier at home between all the parties.  I tried not eating at all and ended up binging at the end of the day, so I scratched that plan.  Of course working out at least a little bit would help compensate for the 7,000 (so I heard!) calories I consumed at Thanksgiving, and in leftovers every day thereafter for at least 4 days.  Yesterday at the grocery store I bought the monster pack of salad for $5, hoping the price would inspire me not to let it rot in the produce drawer of my fridge.  We'll have to see about that.

I'm so not going to get all preachy on you and say this is the perfect time to start some insane workout program, but if you're suffering like I am, here's a couple things to think about doing for damage control:

1.  Lighten the f*ck up.  Stress is one of the biggest factors in weight gain.  Need some help?  STRESS RELIEF.  It works.  I take it A LOT.  Also, levels of seratonin drop in the winter, causing you to experience all kinds of bullshit.  Try some Vitamin D!

2.  Take only cash to the grocery store.  This will (hopefully) force you to forego the junky empty calorie snack foods which tend to be kind of pricey.  *Disclaimer:  Do NOT go to the store with 400 bucks in your pocket. 

3.  Go walk around the block.  Just once.

4.  If you're at a food holiday party, have your steak or other main protein course, but go waaaay light on the creamy side dishes.  Load up on the cleanest-looking vegetables on the table. And eat them first.  The veggies will take up some valuable real estate in your stomach and keep you from overeating the bad stuff.

5.  Last but not least, when you're out shopping and get hungry do NOT swing into the nearest fat food joint.  Throw a protein meal bar or snack bar and a bottle of water in your purse.  It's enough to hold you over till you can get home and eat some of that $5 salad.

Don't forget...stuff like B vitamins regulate your blood sugar and keep cravings down and energy up.  My suggestion is to take two every morning.  If you like hot or cold tea, try this...a little caffeine + hunger suppressant = happiness.

Now go get 'em, tigers!

Blowing Hot Air

It's in the upper 40's, windy, very fallish. In fact, it's cold.  Now, now, don't get all 'Are you kidding, just wait' on me, I've lived through 36 upper-midwest winters and I know what the real deal is.  But don't try to tell me that when your alarm goes off in the morning, in the dark, that it's anything close to easy to get out of your nice, warm, snuggly bed.
It's cold, ain' it?  You get the point.

Our heat is currently set to kick on at 62 degrees.  That's not a typo, let me repeat...sixty-two degrees.  YA, we're cheap.   That's all it comes down to.  But don't be alarmed, we handle it very well.

We've got this great wood-burning stove and a large supply of firewood (these trees just drop dead at our feet!), so we've got the stove fired up quite a bit.  Along with the electric blanket and down comforters, we're good.  In fact, when I go to other people's houses who are all 'nothing lower than a perfectly temperature controlled 72 degrees all year long', I absolutely die.  I'm sweating.  Hey look, that's me!

All this cold weather is actually VERY good for family togetherness.  Dog and cats, too.  Everybody piles on.

The other night, I woke up to use the bathroom and found myself so sweat-soaked I started to fear early menopause.  I returned to bed and laid down between my two little people, under the heated blanked, dog between my legs, and landlocked into not being able to expose my feet.  My feet are my thermostats, you see.  So when my shorties revolt and insist on bracketing me at night, my poor feet are trapped and the resulting overheating of this body is nothing short of a hazard.  How it is that I haven't shorted out that electric blanket with my hot body by now is a mystery.  Oh...and I sweat a lot, too.

The point is....wait, what is the point?

Do I tell you all the things you can do to conserve energy?  Turn down the thermostat at night, turn it down when you're at work, turn it down in general...?  Use weatherstripping, patch holes, get better insulation.  Make your home more energy efficient!  Well duh, this stuff is pretty common knowledge, kind of like turning off a light when you leave a room.  You don't need me to tell you this stuff.

Do we discuss how to keep your kids out of your bed?  Honestly I don't mind it that much as long as it's not all the time, nor do I as a parent really know how.  When the kids have a nightmare and come running in at 2 am, I feel bad for them that they're scared, but I also relish the snuggling and comforting and bonding.  As long as I can keep my feet liberated, that is.

So what do I prattle on about?  How about togetherness.  That's not a question.  What better way to inspire some snuggling than to turn down the thermostat and break out the blankets?  This certainly isn't a new concept, though it may be one that people don't typically think of.  Hmmm...snuggling and a lower electric bill?  Something for everyone!  Let's put that in the warm fuzzies category, right next to 'How many babies are born 9 months after cold weather sets in?'. 

There you have it people, more words of wisdom from your green friend.  Now go turn down the thermostat, get out the hot cocoa, get your blankie and a good movie and snuggle with the kids, then put them to bed. Then snuggle with the spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever you want to snuggle with and turn yourself into something right out of a Donna Summer song.  Who needs heat when you've got each other!!

Mummy Dearest

We all know that processed convenience foods are not good for us.  Right?  RIGHT?  Of course we know that.  One of the reasons...as if we needed another...is preservatives.  What I'm about to tell you, be it hearsay or not, may convince you to never eat another 'preserved' food again.  Apparently, Americans consume so many preservative-laden foods each and every day that when we die, our bodies are not decomposing like they should.  Everything about that is just GROSS.

Did you know that typical grocery store brands of vitamins are so full of synthetic ingredients, that when port-o-potty companies clean them out they find whole vitamins in the holding tanks?  Those aren't the kind of vitamins I'd want to take.  I mean, what's the point?  I've heard the ridiculous argument before about why you shouldn't bother paying more for quality vitamins...the only difference it makes is that you have expensive pee.  I guess the port-o-potty findings take that to a whole new level.

You know all those food packages and signs at fast-food restaurants that claim 'No Trans Fats!'?  I'm sure you've seen them and been comforted by their presence.  Did you know that when you eat a food that contains hydrogenated oils that when your body processes them they get turned into trans fats?  Did you know?  Well you do now.  Nice marketing ploy guys, but we're on to you.

Don't fall for these advertising scams that claim 'corn sugar' (high fructose corn syrup) is a natural product.  No it's not!!  By whose freaking dumb ass standards???  Since HFCS has gotten such a bad rap, industry will try and cover their asses by changing the same to something so harmless sounding as 'corn sugar'.  How dumb do they think we are?  At this point I would hope that we are all aware of the damage that HFCS does to our bodies.  If not, read up folks.  Educate yourselves.  However natural the (GMO, but that's a whole different blog) ingredients used to make HFCS or corn sugar started out, rest assured that by the time they make it onto the shelf in the grocery store they have been processed beyond the point that they can be recognized as a natural food item.

I repeat, educate yourselves.  The government is not looking out for us.  The FDA and USDA have taken on a whole new meaning in my vocabulary, and those letters stand for something I shouldn't write here.  The best we can do is arm ourselves with knowledge.  We can all be healthier, and it really doesn't mean making huge extreme changes.  Pay attention to what you eat.  Read labels in the grocery store and have a list of ingredients that you avoid.  If that's too much work, then at least stick to the outer rim of the grocery and skip all the processed stuff in the middle.  None of us needs it.  I may have eaten a big, fat, beautiful reuben sandwich yesterday, but you bet it was organic pumpernickel bread, and organic 1000 Island, and organic sauerkraut.  Maybe the ingredients aren't the healthiest to begin with, but splurging on a less than ideal meal once in a while isn't going kill you as long as you put it together with the best ingredients you can. 

A friend of mine posted a blog today about how important it is that we take care of ourselves and I couldn't agree more. You're the only one of you there is and you've only got one body and it shouldn't end up mummified because of your diet.  No one else is going to take care of it for you, so get to it!!

Getting the Axe

A few years ago when I found out about dangerous chemicals in the home, aside from cleaning products, one of the first things I changed was the personal products we were using - shampoo, soap, lotions, etc.  I was surfing one day and came across a website you've probably heard of by now - Environmental Working Group or EWG.  These folks are fantastic and both their main and sister websites (Skin Deep Cosmetics Database) are so full of information, you could spend days just reading and reading.  Which, I did.  I read so much, used the database to search for the products I had at home to see their safety levels, read about which ingredients to avoid, etc.  I armed myself with knowledge that I have been using ever since.

I am careful when I shop for products that go on our bodies, because as safe as so many products may seem...they are not.  There are ingredients that cause cancer, endocrine disruption, asthma, allergies, reproductive toxicity, persistence and bioaccumulation...I mean, WHAT???  These are popular grocery and department store brands!!  I don't want that stuff on me, let alone MY KIDS.  So, I became the soap nazi.  No chemicals for you! 

I've held onto this for quite a few years now...since Alex was probably 2, and he's 9 now.  So...he's 9 now.  Becoming independent, wanting to do what his friends do, following trends, and all that good stuff.  One of the things some of his friends do is use this oh-so-manly product called Axe.  I'm sure you've seen the fascinating commercials - a guy turns to chocolate and the girls eat him, and of course the 'clean balls' one.  If you haven't...feel free to youtube it, I'll wait here.

So there we are at the grocery store, and the boy wants to 'go smell Axe'.  I don't mind humoring him once in a while, so no biggie, we'll go smell Axe.  My first course of action is to read the label.  Upon picking up the bottle and turning it over, the first thing I notice is the Recommended Usage.  It has this nice little diagram done in the spirit of 'later, rinse, repeat'.  Axe's label basically says 'shower, and the girls will be on you like white on rice'.  But, not in so many words.  Check it out sometime.  I literally laughed out loud when I saw it. Alex looked a little hurt, like I was digging at him personally.  Moving on to the ingredient label, I didn't immediately see any of the red flag ingredients I commonly look for, which was VERY surprising.  'Fragrance' is always a concern, and of course that is practically the #1 ingredient.  Ok that's an exaggeration, but it should be...I mean, have you smelled this stuff?  I have and let me tell you, I started sneezing right there in the Man Aisle of Woodman's.  VERY potent stuff.

Naturally, there is no way I am going to buy this garbage and bring it into our house to pollute his little body...not to mention my indoor air quality.  I do NOT want my little boy to smell like 'a hunk of man candy'.  Completely inappropriate and unnecessary!  I think at this point he is under the impression that because he got me into the aisle, we will be taking home one of these offensive bottles of poison.  HA!  No way!

As we are lightly arguing about it, a man about my dad's age comes and stands in front of us at the Axe display, and starts smelling the different scents.  Alex grabs his favorite and throws it in the cart, then in true character informs me that the last item we need to get is Ding Dongs.  I inform him (and indirectly the man in the aisle) that if he uses this Axe garbage, he is going to smell like a ding dong.  His resolve to buy the product does not waver, but the man turns around laughing, puts the bottle of Axe back on the shelf and walks away!  Yay, one point for Bonnie!!

To make a long story short, Axe came home with us that day.  I know, I know, it is completely the opposite of everything I normally do and buy and believe in and everything else.  Once in a while I give in to the puppy-dog eyes and the lower lip and the please please please I'll do anything you want I'll clean my room every day and scoop the litter box and anything else please please PLEASE.  Well, not only does the boy use Axe every day, but dear husband (the traitor!) uses it too. As my dad would say, they walk around smelling like a couple of French Who-ers.

It's a funny thing, this resistance I get.  I'm only trying to do the best for them and keep them safe.  GOSH.  Why can't they just conform and not want the bad stuff?!  I don't know.  Maybe a couple more brainwashing sessions are in order (I got the boy to go Vegan for about two weeks once!).  Something has to be done though, cause one day I will set him loose on the rest of the world and hope he makes the right choices.

Someday he will have a family with kids who may resist him, and I will have to remind him of the time he got rebellious and resistant and used Axe body spray as air freshener in his room, then called out 'HA, MOM!  Now my room is HYDROGENATED!!'


*Shameless Shaklee plug:  Shaklee has a full line of SAFE products, including skin care, hair care, and body products.  Check it out Shaklee Personal Products

www.ewg.org

How Not to be a 3-Weeker

I pulled up at my health club first thing Monday morning to find that the parking lot was packed with cars.  Oh yeah, all those New Year's resolutions put into effect, everybody's at the gym.  After my fitness class, my friend and I were walking out into the bitter cold and commenting on how unusually full the parking lot is, and how it will be a relief when all these '3-weekers' drop off so we can have our old parking spots back.  Yes, of course I know that's not very nice.  Sorry. 

Later the same day, I overheard a conversation where someone was commenting on how so many people join health clubs the first week of the new year, work out for three weeks, then fall off the wagon.  In the past two days I have heard or seen at least half a dozen other references to these poor folks who just can't seem to keep up with what they've committed to.

This got me to thinking.  What makes people drop off after 3 weeks or so?  Health and fitness is my business, so how can I help?

As someone who has been steadily working out for quite a while now, it is easy for me to say that I can't or won't go a whole week without working out, I love it too much, and I get off on the way it makes me feel.  But not everybody is like that.  And believe me, there are many days that I don't want to peel myself off the couch and away from the Hershey kisses and go out in the cold to the health club where I'm just going to do a bunch of stuff that makes me want to vomit.  Hey, I'm normal.  Relatively...

I think the key to sticking with it is getting visible results.  When you work out for a couple weeks and one day you're at home and happen to catch a glimpse of a tricep you didn't know existed other than to cause you pain, or your significant other says something like 'Boy, they really work your ass hard in those classes, don't they? I mean your ass is literally hard.', or you run up the stairs and aren't heaving at the top...now those are good feelings.  Those feelings make you want to work out more, right?  Hopefully!

If you've got a long road ahead of you, the results you get in those first couple of weeks may not be significant enough to keep you coming back for more.  So how do you get the bests results you can?  Lose weight at a healthy rate, build muscle, get stronger, fitter, healthier?  AND KEEP AT IT?!

1. Keep your eye on the prize.  Find a picture of someone with your body type who is fit and healthy looking.  Cut it out and post it up.  Or a swimsuit, or dress you want, or some reward you will give yourself when you reach your goal.  And don't make your goal something insane...set small goals to reach in a certain time frame.  'I will lose 10 pounds by March 1'.  Realistic!  Then when you reach that goal, go another 10.

2. Accountability is the word of the day!  Find a partner, and hold each other accountable.  A little friendly competition never hurt anybody!  I have a couple workout partners, and there are many days that they are dragging me to the gym, and vice versa!  But the thing is, we go.  We motivate each other, hold each other accountable, and we go and we do it and we complain the whole time, but we are getting the results we want.

3. Evaluate your diet.  By now we are all aware that McDonald's is not health food.  But other than cutting out the obvious - fast food, soda, sugar, etc., what else can you do?  Depending on how you shop, you may have to reprogram your brain.  Don't buy products that contain hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, or more than 20 ingredients - and that's being generous.  Keep it simple - the less ingredients, the better.  Add more alkalizing foods to your diet, and add more natural sources of Omegas, including a pure supplement (Shaklee, of course).  Start your day with protein, and I don't mean bacon.  Vegetable protein!!  Soy is your friend.  I have a protein shake or bar every morning, and I won't go without it.  My energy level all day is waaaay better when I start my day with a protein shake (Shaklee, of course).  Plus, the Leucine in Cinch shakes will help you lose fat while you retain muscle, among a million other awesome health benefits.  Don't fall for stuff like Vitamin Water.  Scam!  Muscle Milk.  Scam!  Slim Fast.  Scam!  These products are full of synthetic ingredients, hydrogenated oils, and SUGAR.  If you need more info on what foods are alkaline, go here www.energiseforlife.com for a free, printable list of alkaline foods.  If you need more info on the Cinch line of products, CLICK HERE .

Whatever you do, just get out there and do it!  It's the time for new beginnings, so make your fitness and health a priority and rework your schedule to make time to take care of yourself.  You've only go one body, and no one else is going to do it for you! 

P.S.  Because I would be doing you a disservice if I did not add this; Shaklee has an amazing Cinch offer right now through January 31...join membership, buy yourself a box of Vitalizer (or place other $70 order), and get over $100 worth of Cinch products for free to get you started.  Includes:  full size can of Cinch, full size box of Cinch tea, full size box of peanut butter snack bars, plus a pedometer, program guide, and 3 month subscription to cinchwellness.com.  Ya, I know!!  AWESOME!!!  http://greengiraffe.myshaklee.com