In-Flu...a diet??

I had food poisoning a couple weeks ago, after eating some apparently toxic pizza.  It was not a pleasant experience, of which I am sure many of you are aware.  As I was laying on the bathroom floor, freezing cold and sweating buckets, I had this crazy thought:  'This sucks but at least I'll lose a couple pounds and wake up with a flat stomach'.

Call it sick-brain talking.  Call it delusional.  Call it whatever you want, but don't deny that you haven't thought it yourself.  I'm actually pretty impressed that I was lucid enough to have purposely thought that little bit of genius.

Now that cold and flu season are imminent, people are rushing out all over the place to get shot up with the flu du jour, getting stocked on medicines and fluids and all.  Getting flu shots is totally a personal preference, and though I can site a zillion articles about why flu shots are bad, it's my opinion and a touchy subject and I really don't feel like getting into it.  My family doesn't get them.  Period.

Naturally (no pun intended) we do other things like diet, supplement, exercise, etc. to make sure we have healthy immune systems and when something does come our way we fight it and treat it, and drink our Performance (Shaklee's version of Gatorade), let it run its course, and if anything were to get out of hand there's the urgent care department at the docs office.  We eat good and take our vitamins and probiotics like good little anti-flu shot folks, but no matter what we do, germs will continue to float around like crazy.  Especially for those with kids in school with their sticky hands all touching everything all the time, precautions must be taken.  Hand washing is obviously important, using tissues and your coughing corner, cleaning and disinfecting your surfaces constantly (and safely!), etc. etc.  More common sense stuff that everyone knows.  Or should know.  If you don't, you've got problems.

Considering the candy-binge holiday that is in our very recent history, let me tell you a little tidbit about sugar and your immune system.  They don't get along.  You know how people say Vitamin C helps when you have a cold or flu cause it boosts your immune system?  Then they reach for the orange juice and all their problems are solved, right?  Wrong.  Vitamin C is good, yes.  But do me a favor and stay away from fruit juices.  Why?  Cause sugar puts your immune system right to sleep.  There have been studies done, so I'm not just making this up, specifically with orange juice, that prove this.  So just do yourself a favor and skip the juice, try a Vitamin C supplement and call it a day.

No matter what precautions we take, there is still always the chance that we can (will) contract the flu and spend a minimum of 24 hours barfing and shitting our guts out, not eating anything, laying in bed sweating and being gross and stinky and feeling like poo.

But honestly...how many of you have had the thought that if your kids DO bring home the flu (again) this year and you spend a couple days taking care of them and ultimately yourself doing the above mentioned activities...at least you'll lose a couple pounds?! 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any saying that you should purposely go out and get yourself on the flu-diet.  That's just dumb.  But let's look at the bright side.  Hey, there's always a bright side!  There's always an honest side too, so don't try and tell me that its a crazy thought that you'd never even consider.  You know you've thought it.

So good luck, ya'll.  Yeah, I said ya'll.  Whether you get the flu this year or you dodge the bullet, whether you get it or just don't...take care of yourselves!!  And if you want a REAL weight loss program, let me know!

Hot MAHMA!!

I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 7 years.  Sometimes I question my sanity, but mostly I am just glad that I'm here.  For us there have been some challenges financially, but we've made it this far.  Actually, in general we are all lucky that we've made it this far, because there are days...oh, there are days where everyone better just count their blessings that they lived through it...

As a SAHM I cook, clean, schedule, run taxi service, decorate, undecorate, bathe people, clothe people, treat what ails them, etc. etc. whatever.  It's what I do and it takes me all day.  Even though I worked for almost two years after the boy was born, I still can't imagine how the moms out there who have full-time jobs get everything done on top of working.  Kudos to you, ladies!

One of the things I've done over the years is try and make (or save) money anywhere I can to help our family finances.  I could probably dedicate another whole blog to my home business mis-adventures.  I've watched kids, done Tupperware, ebay, crafting, couponing on a massive scale, etc. I have to laugh when I think of how many ads in newspapers I've seen for work from home jobs that are total scams, or internet sites about how you can make jillions of dollars by following their simple system...just spend $500 on their package to learn how!  Assemble crafts at home for $350 a week, or stuff envelopes, or something equally too good to be true.  Be a secret shopper! Or internet jury!  It was fun, but none of these things lasted very long or made enough money, though I do still find myself selling stuff on ebay just cause I like it, and I've got a listing on Amazon, too. 

When the boy was in kindergarten three years ago,  I discovered Shaklee.  Since I was already using green and non-toxic products and trying to make money from home, it seemed like a perfect fit.  I got the business presentation, tried a couple of the cleaning products, and I was IN.  The difference between this stuff and the 'green' products I was using from the grocery store is like night and day.  I used to pay $4.79 for a very popular brand of non-toxic cleaner that didn't really work all that well.  Then I moved to paying $2.79 for a different, yet equally popular brand of so-called green cleaner which worked better, but that I later found out was 'green-washed'.  Then I tried Shaklee's all-purpose cleaner to the tune of about 10 cents a bottle, and it cleaned circles around the other stuff while at the same time being green and non-toxic and cheap and just freaking all-around lovely.  By the way, YES I said 10 CENTS per bottle.

Since I became a Project MAHMA mom and been working my business part-time with one or both kids at home, and I've been making a decent amount of extra money.  Now that both of my kids are in school full-time (GOD BLESS whoever created all-day kindergarten) I need to justify my presence at home all day a little more heavily, so I've revised my plan and created my goals.  Three years later, my Shaklee business is on fire, I'm still at home, and I'm significantly contributing to our household finances.  Maybe not full-time corporate job $$ yet, but it will be, and it won't take me too much longer to get there either.  At this point, I don't intend to EVER go back to work.  And at the rate I'm going I won't have to.

Some people really love their jobs that they do outside of their homes.  Some people don't.  I've never been good at taking orders or doing what other people wanted me to and I can't honestly say that looking back on any of the jobs I've had that I was ever a very good employee.  But I am my own best employee, now! 

I'm my own boss too.  I'm really good at it and I'm a pretty darn cool boss if I may say so myself.  You can ask my kids how good I am at bossing them around, they'll tell you.  Heck, if the kids aren't home all day for me to boss around, who else am I going to tell what to do?

Now, somebody go make me a reuben!!

The Great Lunch Debate

I pack my kids lunches for school about half the time.  The other days they buy it at school.  There is a marked difference between what I pack and what the school serves.  We have a large selection of lunch boxes with characters, and thermoses and flip-straw cups.  Some days the school menu is just too good to pass up, so they buy it.  It's ok.  Everything in moderation.

I get the same complaints almost every 'cold-lunch' day; 'why can't we have white bread?', 'I want Capri Sun!', 'why do you buy such weird stuff?'.  But when I'm packing, they get what I give them and that's that.  I get pretty consistent resistance from the boy no matter what I'm serving, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  He has actually said 'No thanks mom, I don't really like food'. On the opposite side of the spectrum, my beebs (the girl) is quite compliant and will eat just about anything.

Amazingly, both of my kids now have said to me recently that they don't like hot lunch at school, the food is gross, and probably hydrogenated.  Yes, they actually said that!  Hallelujah!  Have they really been listening to me all along? They know the difference between a healthy lunch from home and the processed slop they serve the kids under the guise of 'healthy'!  Hot lunch at school sure is convenient, but I can pack lunches, and I certainly won't cry about not having to spend that money - if both kids buy lunch, it's almost $5 a day! 

It's interesting to me that a school lunch program considers processed butts-n-beaks chicken nuggets a healthy choice because they are 'breaded in whole grains'.  Really?  Whole grains, huh?  Right-o, it must be health food!  I mean, do they seriously consider french fries a vegetable?! Actually, ya. They do.  This is a perfect example of why supplementing their (and our) diets with vitamins is so important.  The food they serve through these programs is nutritionally insufficient, as is much of the food available to all of us.  Modern mass production of food is not good for the nutritional content of that food...things are not the same as they were 50 years ago! 

It's certainly no secret that many school lunch programs in this country are lacking in so many ways.  The USDA guidelines are out of date and you know, I'm thinking that the organization as a whole could use an enema.  Back when the guidelines were created - over a hundred years ago - malnutrition was the epidemic, not the obesity epidemic we face today.  The current USDA guidelines also served the purpose of a marketing strategy to get people to support the agricultural industries.  The industries might have needed the help back then, but I dare say they are a little more stable these days.  Naturally the dairy and meat industries don't want you to decrease your consumption of their products, no matter how unhealthy it is for you or what doctors and scientists say are the correct amounts.  It's a conspiracy, I tell you!  Jamie Oliver, help us! 

So, I ask the kids what kind of stuff I can pick up at the store to pack in their lunches, with 'healthy' being the underlying theme.  I'm looking for some ideas of a couple different fruits, some sort of sandwich fixins, maybe veggies and dip, you know...veggie-tofu stir-fry in the thermos - ok, that last one may be getting a bit carried away, but I'm so excited about the kids volunteering to make healthier choices that my expectation meter is going through the roof.

The beebs tells me she doesn't care, as long as she can put it in her new Dora lunchbox.  Wait...she wants to take her lunch because she wants healthier food, right?  She really gets bent out of shape when something is hydrogenated, I mean, she's literally cried over Oreos so it couldn't possibly be just the lunchbox.

The boy says, 'I want a lunch like ______'s !'

Well  now ______'s mom is a nurse, so of course I do a little internal jump for joy.  A nurse knows about good nutrition, right?!  I stand riveted, with a smile plastered on my face....

'His mom packs him a Slim Jim, a Ho-ho, a Hi-C juice box, and a piece of candy for dessert.  I want that.'

Despite the questionable source for this information, my eyes roll back in my head, I go to my happy place and imagine that I end our conversation like this:

'Listen boy, you'll eat what I give you and you'll LIKE IT.  I don't want to hear how the ass clowns at your lunch table make fun of you cause you're the only one eating brown bread, or the juice in your juice box is partly vegetables.  Some day you'll thank me for not feeding you a pile of crap that rots your guts, makes you fat and gives you cancer!  Now beat it, or I'll show you where you can put your Ho-hos!'

My head spins, and as I fade into unconsciousness I hear a dreamy sounding, 'yes, Mommy I'll eat it.  I love it, Mommy, it's yummy!  Can I have more green vegetables please, Mommy, they're my favorite.....'

Mom vs. Vomit

Kids and cleaning products were made for each other.  As were kids and candy, kids and puppies, kids and padlocks, kids and boarding schools.... *ahem* sorry, I got carried away. But seriously, what would one do without the other?  My kids, as I'm sure yours are too, are capable of the most fantastic messes my imagination couldn't hope to compete with.  The Cat in the Hat's got nothing on them.  I always say crumbs seep out of their pores and they can destroy an entire room (that it took me 3 hours to make sparkle) in 3 minutes flat.

One of the most common things I come across in my daily cleaning is spots.  Spots on the couch, spots on the carpet, spots on laundry.  Some of those spots take more of the shape of intentional marker scribbles, but who's counting?  So, I arm myself with cleaning products (non-toxic of course) and go to work removing spots from every surface.  Another day, another load of laundry full of stains and spots.  Lucky for me I have this Shaklee stuff called Nature Bright to remove the evidence of 'having a good time', as my mom always says.  Without Nature Bright, a lot more stuff would go in the Goodwill pile because of stains.  I am secure in the knowledge that there is not a spot I can't conquer with Nature Bright.  I absolutely will not use chlorine bleach or any other stain removers (or cleaners, detergents, soaps, etc.) that will maim, directly or indirectly kill you, irritate the heck out of your skin, cause an asthma attack, or at the very least make your eyes water.  I believe that last statement covers probably 95% of the stuff that is sold in grocery stores.  Anyway...

As I mentioned in another post, my 9 year old son is involved in Taekwondo.  This past weekend there was a tournament two states away from us, which involved about six hours of driving, an overnight stay with relatives and a 55 MPH ice rink commonly known as I-294.

The boy has participated in quite a few tournaments before, and never really had a case of 'the nerves'.  That is MY job, and I do it well.  So, what happened this past Saturday probably can't be explained away as nervousness. This was a smaller tournament than the last one and he felt very prepared for the events he participated in, even excited to compete in one particular event for the first time. 

As we turn onto the street of the high school where the tournament took place, I hear a meek little 'Mom, I don't feel so good' from the back seat.  I swear it was slow motion...I turn around in my seat while simultaneously asking 'Are you going to barf?' and grabbing the nearest plastic bag.  I got it in his hands not a second too soon.  Thinking it may have been nervousness, we sat in the car a few extra minutes for him to chill out (and see whether there would be a repeat), then headed inside.  He seemed ok, if a little wigged out, and was even able to laugh about it a little.  He managed to get through his first two events, even placing 2nd in one of them, before it was time to toss the cookies again.  Thank goodness for extra large garbage cans on wheels.

His next two events were a couple hours away, so we bundled him up with our coats and he chilled out in a corner with a Sprite and some crackers to wait.  One or two more trips to the garbage can and he seemed to really perk up, like whatever it was might have been out of his system.  With the help of another TKD mom, we got him to agree to participate in one more event, which he did, and then we headed back to our relatives house an hour or so away.  We hadn't quite turned into their subdivision when I heard the distinct sound of liquid hitting the bottom of a bag.  A paper bag.  That leaked.  All over the seat and the stark white pants of his TKD leadership uniform, which ran us a cool $150.  The poor kid had to strip in the car and hang around pants-less while I ran in the house to collect all our junk and bring him new clothes.  Another hour or so car ride later and we're home in time for him to lose it again, this time into the kitchen garbage can.

The barfed-on TKD uniform pants came out of the wash sparkling clean and restored to their original bright white...or so I thought until I investigated the inside of the pants, and found the evidence that this really was a flu bug, and not a case of the nerves.  But hey, what did I say about conquering stains?  That's right.  I'm not afraid.  Already through the washer and dryer usually means an item is doomed, but not at my house!!  And this is one stain there can't be ANY evidence left of, EVER.  Nature Bright to the rescue once again.  

So bring it on, life!  Hit me with whatever stains you've got, I'll conquer them all - blood, sweat and tears...and vomit -  and do it safely with non-toxic products.   But really, I can wait quite a while before being put to the test again.  At least until AFTER the next taekwondo tournament.  And please, no blood!!

Getting the Axe

A few years ago when I found out about dangerous chemicals in the home, aside from cleaning products, one of the first things I changed was the personal products we were using - shampoo, soap, lotions, etc.  I was surfing one day and came across a website you've probably heard of by now - Environmental Working Group or EWG.  These folks are fantastic and both their main and sister websites (Skin Deep Cosmetics Database) are so full of information, you could spend days just reading and reading.  Which, I did.  I read so much, used the database to search for the products I had at home to see their safety levels, read about which ingredients to avoid, etc.  I armed myself with knowledge that I have been using ever since.

I am careful when I shop for products that go on our bodies, because as safe as so many products may seem...they are not.  There are ingredients that cause cancer, endocrine disruption, asthma, allergies, reproductive toxicity, persistence and bioaccumulation...I mean, WHAT???  These are popular grocery and department store brands!!  I don't want that stuff on me, let alone MY KIDS.  So, I became the soap nazi.  No chemicals for you! 

I've held onto this for quite a few years now...since Alex was probably 2, and he's 9 now.  So...he's 9 now.  Becoming independent, wanting to do what his friends do, following trends, and all that good stuff.  One of the things some of his friends do is use this oh-so-manly product called Axe.  I'm sure you've seen the fascinating commercials - a guy turns to chocolate and the girls eat him, and of course the 'clean balls' one.  If you haven't...feel free to youtube it, I'll wait here.

So there we are at the grocery store, and the boy wants to 'go smell Axe'.  I don't mind humoring him once in a while, so no biggie, we'll go smell Axe.  My first course of action is to read the label.  Upon picking up the bottle and turning it over, the first thing I notice is the Recommended Usage.  It has this nice little diagram done in the spirit of 'later, rinse, repeat'.  Axe's label basically says 'shower, and the girls will be on you like white on rice'.  But, not in so many words.  Check it out sometime.  I literally laughed out loud when I saw it. Alex looked a little hurt, like I was digging at him personally.  Moving on to the ingredient label, I didn't immediately see any of the red flag ingredients I commonly look for, which was VERY surprising.  'Fragrance' is always a concern, and of course that is practically the #1 ingredient.  Ok that's an exaggeration, but it should be...I mean, have you smelled this stuff?  I have and let me tell you, I started sneezing right there in the Man Aisle of Woodman's.  VERY potent stuff.

Naturally, there is no way I am going to buy this garbage and bring it into our house to pollute his little body...not to mention my indoor air quality.  I do NOT want my little boy to smell like 'a hunk of man candy'.  Completely inappropriate and unnecessary!  I think at this point he is under the impression that because he got me into the aisle, we will be taking home one of these offensive bottles of poison.  HA!  No way!

As we are lightly arguing about it, a man about my dad's age comes and stands in front of us at the Axe display, and starts smelling the different scents.  Alex grabs his favorite and throws it in the cart, then in true character informs me that the last item we need to get is Ding Dongs.  I inform him (and indirectly the man in the aisle) that if he uses this Axe garbage, he is going to smell like a ding dong.  His resolve to buy the product does not waver, but the man turns around laughing, puts the bottle of Axe back on the shelf and walks away!  Yay, one point for Bonnie!!

To make a long story short, Axe came home with us that day.  I know, I know, it is completely the opposite of everything I normally do and buy and believe in and everything else.  Once in a while I give in to the puppy-dog eyes and the lower lip and the please please please I'll do anything you want I'll clean my room every day and scoop the litter box and anything else please please PLEASE.  Well, not only does the boy use Axe every day, but dear husband (the traitor!) uses it too. As my dad would say, they walk around smelling like a couple of French Who-ers.

It's a funny thing, this resistance I get.  I'm only trying to do the best for them and keep them safe.  GOSH.  Why can't they just conform and not want the bad stuff?!  I don't know.  Maybe a couple more brainwashing sessions are in order (I got the boy to go Vegan for about two weeks once!).  Something has to be done though, cause one day I will set him loose on the rest of the world and hope he makes the right choices.

Someday he will have a family with kids who may resist him, and I will have to remind him of the time he got rebellious and resistant and used Axe body spray as air freshener in his room, then called out 'HA, MOM!  Now my room is HYDROGENATED!!'


*Shameless Shaklee plug:  Shaklee has a full line of SAFE products, including skin care, hair care, and body products.  Check it out Shaklee Personal Products

www.ewg.org