In-Flu...a diet??

I had food poisoning a couple weeks ago, after eating some apparently toxic pizza.  It was not a pleasant experience, of which I am sure many of you are aware.  As I was laying on the bathroom floor, freezing cold and sweating buckets, I had this crazy thought:  'This sucks but at least I'll lose a couple pounds and wake up with a flat stomach'.

Call it sick-brain talking.  Call it delusional.  Call it whatever you want, but don't deny that you haven't thought it yourself.  I'm actually pretty impressed that I was lucid enough to have purposely thought that little bit of genius.

Now that cold and flu season are imminent, people are rushing out all over the place to get shot up with the flu du jour, getting stocked on medicines and fluids and all.  Getting flu shots is totally a personal preference, and though I can site a zillion articles about why flu shots are bad, it's my opinion and a touchy subject and I really don't feel like getting into it.  My family doesn't get them.  Period.

Naturally (no pun intended) we do other things like diet, supplement, exercise, etc. to make sure we have healthy immune systems and when something does come our way we fight it and treat it, and drink our Performance (Shaklee's version of Gatorade), let it run its course, and if anything were to get out of hand there's the urgent care department at the docs office.  We eat good and take our vitamins and probiotics like good little anti-flu shot folks, but no matter what we do, germs will continue to float around like crazy.  Especially for those with kids in school with their sticky hands all touching everything all the time, precautions must be taken.  Hand washing is obviously important, using tissues and your coughing corner, cleaning and disinfecting your surfaces constantly (and safely!), etc. etc.  More common sense stuff that everyone knows.  Or should know.  If you don't, you've got problems.

Considering the candy-binge holiday that is in our very recent history, let me tell you a little tidbit about sugar and your immune system.  They don't get along.  You know how people say Vitamin C helps when you have a cold or flu cause it boosts your immune system?  Then they reach for the orange juice and all their problems are solved, right?  Wrong.  Vitamin C is good, yes.  But do me a favor and stay away from fruit juices.  Why?  Cause sugar puts your immune system right to sleep.  There have been studies done, so I'm not just making this up, specifically with orange juice, that prove this.  So just do yourself a favor and skip the juice, try a Vitamin C supplement and call it a day.

No matter what precautions we take, there is still always the chance that we can (will) contract the flu and spend a minimum of 24 hours barfing and shitting our guts out, not eating anything, laying in bed sweating and being gross and stinky and feeling like poo.

But honestly...how many of you have had the thought that if your kids DO bring home the flu (again) this year and you spend a couple days taking care of them and ultimately yourself doing the above mentioned activities...at least you'll lose a couple pounds?! 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any saying that you should purposely go out and get yourself on the flu-diet.  That's just dumb.  But let's look at the bright side.  Hey, there's always a bright side!  There's always an honest side too, so don't try and tell me that its a crazy thought that you'd never even consider.  You know you've thought it.

So good luck, ya'll.  Yeah, I said ya'll.  Whether you get the flu this year or you dodge the bullet, whether you get it or just don't...take care of yourselves!!  And if you want a REAL weight loss program, let me know!

Finger Lickin' Good, Ya'll

How many times have you been driving down the road or sitting at a stoplight, minding your innocent little business, and happen to sneak a glance at the person next to you just to find that they are knuckle deep in their nose?  Sometimes you even get to witness the follow-thru...you know what I'm talking about.  Grown, supposedly mature, adults eating boogers.  GROSS.

Obviously kids do it.  Sooo many kids do it!  I was inspired to write this blog the other day by my little friend Jacob, who finds the inside of his nose positively irresistible.  Thank you Jacob!  He's lucky he's one of those super cute angel-face kids, cause he can totally pull off getting caught picking.

We all see people picking their noses all the time, don't we.  Sometimes we even get to make commentary.  Like when we were standing in line for the ferris wheel and the kid in front of us turned around so we would have the privilege of watching his booger show.  After he stuck his finger in his mouth, making full eye contact the whole time, my husband innocently asked 'Was that good?'.  Well?!  Don't you wonder what keeps the booger eaters coming back for more?

Maybe they know something we don't.  (Besides how boogers taste).

There's a certain doctor in Austria, a lung specialist, who believes that nose-picking and booger-eating will actually strengthen the immune system.  Let me restate that.  There's an actual medical doctor who thinks that eating boogers is a GOOD IDEA.  The idea is that all the little germs and bacteria that get hung up by the cilia and mucous in our noses, then picked out and eaten, actually works as a sort of probiotic for us, creating antibodies and helping fight off whatever is out there trying to slip past the gooey gates.

Who woulda thought?  Eating boogers is potentially a healthy(ish) habit?  I don't know...

If I see you totally digging and subsequently eating what you find, 

is it still considered a healthy habit 

if I barf on you?  

I doubt it.  I get the logic, I admit it makes sense.  But still, can't we just break the nose picking habit early and all buy Shaklee probiotics instead?!  Really, I will happily supply the world...

There's an actual scientific name for nose picking, it's rhinotillexis.  And compulsive nose-picking is rhinotillexomania.  There's even a latin word for booger-eating!  You know you want to know what it is.  It's automucophagy.  Hey, I totally understand that inquiring minds want to know, so I will oblige.

Here in The Land of Cheese, the first day of school countdown clock is about to hit blastoff.  With the inception of the new school year comes a whole slew of new germs for our kids to bring home to us poor, innocent parents.  Our families pass around colds, flu, viruses, heck even warts, that we've picked up while we are out and about.  Kids are obviously infamous for germ-transfer, especially the younger ones who are still perfecting the art of the 'coughing corner'.  What's that, you ask?  Um, hello?  The inside of your elbow, where all well-placed coughs and sneezes go!  Feel free to take notes here, folks.

So, what's a concerned parent to do to fight off all these germy germs?  There's the obvious hand-washing, disinfecting (with only safe, non-toxic cleaners of course), or using your coughing corner to not needlessly spread sickness around.  But needless to say, there are always some germs that get by even the most diligent hand-washing, mouth-covering, non-bare-surface-touching germophobe.  So, how about fighting them better from the inside, too? Our immune systems are a hugely important part of the body, and when sickness abounds we must strengthen ourselves to fight off the ones that get by.

Don't worry, I'm not going to suggest eating a few boogers.  You can do what you want, but don't expect me to shake your hand.  Obviously there are a lot of things we can do to help ourselves that does not include automucophagy.  There are a lot less gross things we can do, I should say.  Obviously eating right is the first one.  Some kids would not agree...they might actually prefer boogers to vegetables.  If that's not really an option you'd like them explore, literally, keep reading.

Did you know that refined sugar actually suppresses the immune system?  Ya.  It does.  So stop consuming so much.  Certainly taking a daily multi-vitamin (or one for kids), a probiotic, eating lots of lean protein, getting lots of sleep, regular exercise, and living in a clean environment are all ideal. There is plenty of help for cold and flu season!

So come on, folks.  Let's get to work.  There are a LOT of nose-pickers out there!  So when you see them...give them my number! 

The. Worst. Salesperson. Ever.

That's me, you know.  I really stink.

Unfortunately for me, it's what I do.  I sell products...right?  Ya, sorta, I guess.  As if we needed more evidence of me being a poor salesperson, there's that last sentence to really drive it home.  *Sigh*

A little background info for anyone who doesn't know me:  I am a distributor for Shaklee.  I sell green cleaners, whole food vitamin supplements, skin care, body care, childrens vitamins & body stuff, weight loss...all the most pure and organic and chemical free.  It's a great company, Shaklee even consults to the U.S. Pharmacopaeia and sets standards of purity and quality all over the world.  No other supplement company can compare to Shaklee's research (though some have tried to pass it off as their own!) or Shaklee's quality and purity.  And you can take that to the bank.

I do pretty well, too, if I may say so myself.  I am solidly contributing to our household finances, have no other (outside of the house) job and no plans to get one either.  I helped finance a complete bathroom remodel, I pay for our family's gym membership and cell phones, and even have some left over.  Lucky for me this stuff typically sells itself.  Especially the cleaning stuff...I do a demo and it's undeniable...the stuff works great.  Easy peasy.  And the nutrition...once you try it you realize what you've been missing, and it's hard to go back knowing how good you can feel.  Good stuff to sell when you're a sucky salesperson, huh?  Ha!! 

I know some really good salespeople.  Many have excellent advice on what to say, what responses to give when someone says 'no', different strategies, etc.  I listen to their advice and end up thinking what different people we are, and what works for them as a salesperson isn't going to work for stinky me cause I'm just not aggressive like that.  My salespitch?  Just try it.  Yep, that's all I got.

Instead of a salesperson, I fancy myself an educator.  Go ahead, you know you're thinking it...well la dee da, she fancies.  Yep, I fancy.  I'm obviously interested in health, nutrition, fitness, and the environment, and I talk about it anyway, right?  Uh, YEAH.  Sit down and listen, I'll tell you all kinds of stuff about the products you use or the food you eat that'll make your hair curl.  I've read, I've researched, I've tried stuff, I've experimented.  I'm a firm believer and I want others to believe too, so that they can live healthier lifestyles and feel better and be better and live longer and look younger, etc etc.  It's out of the goodness of my heart, not because I want to sell people stuff.  If Target sold Shaklee, I'd tell people to go there and buy it.  If I wasn't a distributor, I'd still tell people not to use bleach or ammonia or Magic Erasers or air fresheners.  I'd still say 'read your labels!' and talk about how high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils are bad for you.  Eat your organic fruits and vegetables, stop drinking milk, soda is the devil and artificial sweeteners are his spawn.  The chemicals in cleaners and body products will give you cancer, irritate (or cause) asthma, build up in your body and make you sick, sick sick.  Many vitamins are not usable by your body because they are synthetic and you won't absorb them.  Many vitamins and protein products have been badly processed and won't give you the benefits you think you are getting.  Stick around, folks cause I've got plenty more.

And that's how I do it.  I educate, I don't sell.  I educate people so that they can make better and healthier choices, and of course I have those healthier choices available...it is a business after all.  I don't sell them a product as a replacement for what they have without telling them why...what's the point in that?  If you educate them, they will get there on their own and their level of loyalty will be greater than you could hope for. And when people are making the choice of their own volition instead of feeling pressured from a salesperson, they feel better about the choice and will move forward with it. 

Think you can do it?  Talk to people about what matters to you?  Give other people the knowledge you have acquired and help them make better choices - steer them in a better direction?  Sure you can.  Educate your friends, family, neighbors, and even complete strangers, and watch the sales roll in.  If I can do it, you can do it.  Really.  No, really really.

Sooo, are you ready?

Who are you, anyway?

As many are, my business is about people.  I also like to get in other people's business, but that's neither here nor there.  My business is to help people get as healthy as possible, educate them so they make better choices, and heckle them incessantly until they listen to me.  FYI, I like being listened to.

Part of the social marketing training process is to figure out your 'sphere of influence'.  This is anyone and everyone that you 'touch'.  NO, you perv, not literally.  If your life touches their life in some way, they can be counted in your sphere.  Most of us have several hundred people we can count, whether we realize it or not.  Family, friends, co-workers, those are just the obvious.  The ones you might not think of...the lady at the post office, the one that stands behind you at Body Pump and admires your triceps, the cashier at the grocery store.  People that you don't even know their name, or in some cases, what they look like. Lots of people, lots and lots, influencing each other all over the place.

What we directly or indirectly influence people to do is a big part of who we are.  So, who are you?  And, now that you know that you have the potential to influence so many...what would you influence them to do?

Be trendy and wear particular clothes, or a particular bag.  Use a particular type of cell phone.  Wear a particular brand of work out clothes.  Walk a certain dog wearing a certain sweater on a particular street?  Maybe, but these things we can do without trying, and without making the other person's life any better or any worse.  I'm not a big fan of small dogs so I'd have to say maybe in the case of the dog it would be worse, but whatever.

How about if you set out specifically to influence people to only buy certain types of food or start a healthy eating plan?  Or to start a workout program?  It would probably improve the person's quality of life, and there you go being influential in a GOOD way.  Nice job, you!!  Doesn't it feel good?!

That's why I do what I do.  It makes me feel good.  It's part of who I am and I spread it around like butter, on everyone and everything I touch.  Shut up, that's not gross.  Our sphere of influence grows and changes all the time.  The opportunities that come up with these changes are invaluable to us, no matter what we are influencing.  I want to be sure that I am influencing positively, and I hope you do too.  Of course, being in business, there are business aspects to influencing my sphere too.

I was at a Shaklee event this past weekend where there were 12 guests, all part of my sphere.  They listened and learned, and bought a bunch of stuff that will improve their quality of life.  I'm influencing people in a very positive way that makes them feel good and be healthier. They will tell their families and friends, go to work and tell their co-workers, and onward and upward it grows and grows.  That's how I've grown my business as much as I have and have the success that I do, and you could too, by the way.  Sphere of influence!  And I can say with satisfaction that I'm a pretty darn good influence.  Who. I. Am.

So, have you figured it out yet?  You've got to be careful with this, cause it's a powerful tool - use the power of your sphere for good not evil!  If you would...think about it.  Then answer the question, and be sure to tell me cause inquiring minds want to know.

Who are you, anyway?

The Ghosts of Products Past

As I am sure many of you did, I grew up with bleach, ammonia, Tide, Downy, Mr. Bubble, and Twinkies.  Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies were the best, and who can forget your mom's Diet Chocolate Fudge Soda, chock full of artificial sweeteners and who knows what else.  Remember getting the first Equal gumballs in the newspaper insert?  I do, and I ate the first one (and I still don't like aspartame).  The tub got scrubbed with the worst of the worst cleaners, and then we soaked up the residue in our baths.  Baby powder fights, weird concoctions of lotions to slather on, bare hands touching chemicals of all kinds.  To compound my chemical exposure, when I was a teenager I got a job at a pet store.  Every day, I would go in and bleach the heck out of the puppy kennels...with bare hands, inhaling the fumes.  But we all turned out ok, didn't we?

Ok, let's not actually answer that.

The first green products I learned about were for cleaning.  One day I was bleaching my kitchen floor...the next day I was packing up all the toxic stuff and sending it off to the garage.  I started using Seventh Generation, Method, Green Works, and a few others.  They were expensive and not usually effective, but I was dedicated to using green products and stuck with them.  (This was before I discovered Shaklee).

Very shortly after my cleaning product revelation came my enlightenment about personal products.  I packed up all our Pantene, Bath & Body Works, Johnson's and whatnot, and offered the fuller bottles to my mom and sister.  What they didn't absorb (no pun intended) got squirted into the garbage or the toilet, and the bottle recycled.  Ya, seriously, I stood there and emptied each bottle so I could recycle it.  Who DOES that?  Anyway, I was left with a few items I couldn't get rid of 'just in case' and of course I get stuff now and then that I'll never use...whether by gift or freebie or whatever.  These unusables get stashed away and forgotten.

In my quest to replace everything we ever use anywhere, there was definitely a trial and error process.  There have been numerous natural products that have not worked out, and end up sitting in a cabinet or closet.  Just because it's natural or non-toxic doesn't mean it's going to work or be the right product for us.  The Beebs and I found that out the hard way.  After a very scary incident with an allergic reaction to the 'Fragrance' in a Burt's Bees baby wash (97.3% natural!), and a very humorous incident (I wasn't the one laughing) with a face wash/lotion for me where I ended up looking like I had lobster-red sunburn on my face, I realized that not everything from the health food store is going to automatically be the right product. 

So the question is:  Where do your abandoned products go?

Well, I suppose we can call it the product graveyard.  I've definitely got one and to my husband's chagrin it is in the garage.  A big old cardboard box full of Windex, bleach, wipes, bathroom cleaners, kitchen cleaners, floor cleaners and more; all full of the type of chemicals that I do NOT allow in my house anymore.  Pretty much all my Shaklee cohorts have a similar box in their garage.  And those personal products...?  Lucky for me I've got a little extra storage space in the bathroom closet.  I'll never use that paraben-laden sunscreen on the kids, or the lotions, or makeup, or hair products, but there it sits.  I don't even use perfume, though I have half-dozen bottles of it sitting in the closet.

Crazy, you say?  I'll admit to a little crazy.  But the thing is...I've done a lot of research on this stuff.  I might seem paranoid or over-the-top to some, and others might say they are way too attached to their signature fragrance or mascara or favorite bathroom cleaner to ever give it up.  Fine.  I'm not trying to convince you to give up what you love.  Do what you want.  But be informed about what it is you are bringing into your home or putting on your body, especially if you have kids at home. I could use this opportunity to tell you how great and green and non-toxic everything Shaklee makes is and how that's mostly what we use now, but me selling you better products is not the point here. 

The point is simply:  When you've come to your senses and learned enough about the ill-effects chemicals can have on your family's health, and you replace all your bad stuff with good stuff, there is a solution for all those unused products!  And it's not that you have to stand at your garbage can squirting out six bottles of Johnson's baby lotion!

The easiest and most economical way to get rid of these chemicals is to use them up.  Then you can recycle the bottle and be done with it.  If you don't want to do that, and I don't blame you for not, read on.

Toxic products can't actually be recycled, per se.  Disposing of chemicals improperly can cause a lot of environmental problems like soil and water contamination...check out what happens from chemical runoff.  You can take your stuff to a hazardous waste collection facility, or most communities often host events for gathering all the unwanted products...and some even do it year-round.  Contact your village or your local solid waste or sanitation department to find out when and where you can take yours.  Hopefully there isn't some dude in each town with a garage full of cardboard boxes...

For anyone who didn't notice the first time...let me point out that these products are considered hazardous waste!  If they have to be taken to a hazardous waste collection facility to be disposed of...why are you using them in your home?!?!

To find out what products are bad, check out this awesome glossary, or visit EWG and Cosmetics Database. To get the green and non-toxic products that you now know are much better for you, go here. My intention is to educate you about healthier products so you can make better choices.  If your choices include Shaklee, great.  If not, that's ok too.  I am just as happy hearing that you learned something here and will stop using the toxic chemicals you've read about!!

Hot MAHMA!!

I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 7 years.  Sometimes I question my sanity, but mostly I am just glad that I'm here.  For us there have been some challenges financially, but we've made it this far.  Actually, in general we are all lucky that we've made it this far, because there are days...oh, there are days where everyone better just count their blessings that they lived through it...

As a SAHM I cook, clean, schedule, run taxi service, decorate, undecorate, bathe people, clothe people, treat what ails them, etc. etc. whatever.  It's what I do and it takes me all day.  Even though I worked for almost two years after the boy was born, I still can't imagine how the moms out there who have full-time jobs get everything done on top of working.  Kudos to you, ladies!

One of the things I've done over the years is try and make (or save) money anywhere I can to help our family finances.  I could probably dedicate another whole blog to my home business mis-adventures.  I've watched kids, done Tupperware, ebay, crafting, couponing on a massive scale, etc. I have to laugh when I think of how many ads in newspapers I've seen for work from home jobs that are total scams, or internet sites about how you can make jillions of dollars by following their simple system...just spend $500 on their package to learn how!  Assemble crafts at home for $350 a week, or stuff envelopes, or something equally too good to be true.  Be a secret shopper! Or internet jury!  It was fun, but none of these things lasted very long or made enough money, though I do still find myself selling stuff on ebay just cause I like it, and I've got a listing on Amazon, too. 

When the boy was in kindergarten three years ago,  I discovered Shaklee.  Since I was already using green and non-toxic products and trying to make money from home, it seemed like a perfect fit.  I got the business presentation, tried a couple of the cleaning products, and I was IN.  The difference between this stuff and the 'green' products I was using from the grocery store is like night and day.  I used to pay $4.79 for a very popular brand of non-toxic cleaner that didn't really work all that well.  Then I moved to paying $2.79 for a different, yet equally popular brand of so-called green cleaner which worked better, but that I later found out was 'green-washed'.  Then I tried Shaklee's all-purpose cleaner to the tune of about 10 cents a bottle, and it cleaned circles around the other stuff while at the same time being green and non-toxic and cheap and just freaking all-around lovely.  By the way, YES I said 10 CENTS per bottle.

Since I became a Project MAHMA mom and been working my business part-time with one or both kids at home, and I've been making a decent amount of extra money.  Now that both of my kids are in school full-time (GOD BLESS whoever created all-day kindergarten) I need to justify my presence at home all day a little more heavily, so I've revised my plan and created my goals.  Three years later, my Shaklee business is on fire, I'm still at home, and I'm significantly contributing to our household finances.  Maybe not full-time corporate job $$ yet, but it will be, and it won't take me too much longer to get there either.  At this point, I don't intend to EVER go back to work.  And at the rate I'm going I won't have to.

Some people really love their jobs that they do outside of their homes.  Some people don't.  I've never been good at taking orders or doing what other people wanted me to and I can't honestly say that looking back on any of the jobs I've had that I was ever a very good employee.  But I am my own best employee, now! 

I'm my own boss too.  I'm really good at it and I'm a pretty darn cool boss if I may say so myself.  You can ask my kids how good I am at bossing them around, they'll tell you.  Heck, if the kids aren't home all day for me to boss around, who else am I going to tell what to do?

Now, somebody go make me a reuben!!

The Great Lunch Debate

I pack my kids lunches for school about half the time.  The other days they buy it at school.  There is a marked difference between what I pack and what the school serves.  We have a large selection of lunch boxes with characters, and thermoses and flip-straw cups.  Some days the school menu is just too good to pass up, so they buy it.  It's ok.  Everything in moderation.

I get the same complaints almost every 'cold-lunch' day; 'why can't we have white bread?', 'I want Capri Sun!', 'why do you buy such weird stuff?'.  But when I'm packing, they get what I give them and that's that.  I get pretty consistent resistance from the boy no matter what I'm serving, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  He has actually said 'No thanks mom, I don't really like food'. On the opposite side of the spectrum, my beebs (the girl) is quite compliant and will eat just about anything.

Amazingly, both of my kids now have said to me recently that they don't like hot lunch at school, the food is gross, and probably hydrogenated.  Yes, they actually said that!  Hallelujah!  Have they really been listening to me all along? They know the difference between a healthy lunch from home and the processed slop they serve the kids under the guise of 'healthy'!  Hot lunch at school sure is convenient, but I can pack lunches, and I certainly won't cry about not having to spend that money - if both kids buy lunch, it's almost $5 a day! 

It's interesting to me that a school lunch program considers processed butts-n-beaks chicken nuggets a healthy choice because they are 'breaded in whole grains'.  Really?  Whole grains, huh?  Right-o, it must be health food!  I mean, do they seriously consider french fries a vegetable?! Actually, ya. They do.  This is a perfect example of why supplementing their (and our) diets with vitamins is so important.  The food they serve through these programs is nutritionally insufficient, as is much of the food available to all of us.  Modern mass production of food is not good for the nutritional content of that food...things are not the same as they were 50 years ago! 

It's certainly no secret that many school lunch programs in this country are lacking in so many ways.  The USDA guidelines are out of date and you know, I'm thinking that the organization as a whole could use an enema.  Back when the guidelines were created - over a hundred years ago - malnutrition was the epidemic, not the obesity epidemic we face today.  The current USDA guidelines also served the purpose of a marketing strategy to get people to support the agricultural industries.  The industries might have needed the help back then, but I dare say they are a little more stable these days.  Naturally the dairy and meat industries don't want you to decrease your consumption of their products, no matter how unhealthy it is for you or what doctors and scientists say are the correct amounts.  It's a conspiracy, I tell you!  Jamie Oliver, help us! 

So, I ask the kids what kind of stuff I can pick up at the store to pack in their lunches, with 'healthy' being the underlying theme.  I'm looking for some ideas of a couple different fruits, some sort of sandwich fixins, maybe veggies and dip, you know...veggie-tofu stir-fry in the thermos - ok, that last one may be getting a bit carried away, but I'm so excited about the kids volunteering to make healthier choices that my expectation meter is going through the roof.

The beebs tells me she doesn't care, as long as she can put it in her new Dora lunchbox.  Wait...she wants to take her lunch because she wants healthier food, right?  She really gets bent out of shape when something is hydrogenated, I mean, she's literally cried over Oreos so it couldn't possibly be just the lunchbox.

The boy says, 'I want a lunch like ______'s !'

Well  now ______'s mom is a nurse, so of course I do a little internal jump for joy.  A nurse knows about good nutrition, right?!  I stand riveted, with a smile plastered on my face....

'His mom packs him a Slim Jim, a Ho-ho, a Hi-C juice box, and a piece of candy for dessert.  I want that.'

Despite the questionable source for this information, my eyes roll back in my head, I go to my happy place and imagine that I end our conversation like this:

'Listen boy, you'll eat what I give you and you'll LIKE IT.  I don't want to hear how the ass clowns at your lunch table make fun of you cause you're the only one eating brown bread, or the juice in your juice box is partly vegetables.  Some day you'll thank me for not feeding you a pile of crap that rots your guts, makes you fat and gives you cancer!  Now beat it, or I'll show you where you can put your Ho-hos!'

My head spins, and as I fade into unconsciousness I hear a dreamy sounding, 'yes, Mommy I'll eat it.  I love it, Mommy, it's yummy!  Can I have more green vegetables please, Mommy, they're my favorite.....'

Mummy Dearest

We all know that processed convenience foods are not good for us.  Right?  RIGHT?  Of course we know that.  One of the reasons...as if we needed another...is preservatives.  What I'm about to tell you, be it hearsay or not, may convince you to never eat another 'preserved' food again.  Apparently, Americans consume so many preservative-laden foods each and every day that when we die, our bodies are not decomposing like they should.  Everything about that is just GROSS.

Did you know that typical grocery store brands of vitamins are so full of synthetic ingredients, that when port-o-potty companies clean them out they find whole vitamins in the holding tanks?  Those aren't the kind of vitamins I'd want to take.  I mean, what's the point?  I've heard the ridiculous argument before about why you shouldn't bother paying more for quality vitamins...the only difference it makes is that you have expensive pee.  I guess the port-o-potty findings take that to a whole new level.

You know all those food packages and signs at fast-food restaurants that claim 'No Trans Fats!'?  I'm sure you've seen them and been comforted by their presence.  Did you know that when you eat a food that contains hydrogenated oils that when your body processes them they get turned into trans fats?  Did you know?  Well you do now.  Nice marketing ploy guys, but we're on to you.

Don't fall for these advertising scams that claim 'corn sugar' (high fructose corn syrup) is a natural product.  No it's not!!  By whose freaking dumb ass standards???  Since HFCS has gotten such a bad rap, industry will try and cover their asses by changing the same to something so harmless sounding as 'corn sugar'.  How dumb do they think we are?  At this point I would hope that we are all aware of the damage that HFCS does to our bodies.  If not, read up folks.  Educate yourselves.  However natural the (GMO, but that's a whole different blog) ingredients used to make HFCS or corn sugar started out, rest assured that by the time they make it onto the shelf in the grocery store they have been processed beyond the point that they can be recognized as a natural food item.

I repeat, educate yourselves.  The government is not looking out for us.  The FDA and USDA have taken on a whole new meaning in my vocabulary, and those letters stand for something I shouldn't write here.  The best we can do is arm ourselves with knowledge.  We can all be healthier, and it really doesn't mean making huge extreme changes.  Pay attention to what you eat.  Read labels in the grocery store and have a list of ingredients that you avoid.  If that's too much work, then at least stick to the outer rim of the grocery and skip all the processed stuff in the middle.  None of us needs it.  I may have eaten a big, fat, beautiful reuben sandwich yesterday, but you bet it was organic pumpernickel bread, and organic 1000 Island, and organic sauerkraut.  Maybe the ingredients aren't the healthiest to begin with, but splurging on a less than ideal meal once in a while isn't going kill you as long as you put it together with the best ingredients you can. 

A friend of mine posted a blog today about how important it is that we take care of ourselves and I couldn't agree more. You're the only one of you there is and you've only got one body and it shouldn't end up mummified because of your diet.  No one else is going to take care of it for you, so get to it!!

Getting the Axe

A few years ago when I found out about dangerous chemicals in the home, aside from cleaning products, one of the first things I changed was the personal products we were using - shampoo, soap, lotions, etc.  I was surfing one day and came across a website you've probably heard of by now - Environmental Working Group or EWG.  These folks are fantastic and both their main and sister websites (Skin Deep Cosmetics Database) are so full of information, you could spend days just reading and reading.  Which, I did.  I read so much, used the database to search for the products I had at home to see their safety levels, read about which ingredients to avoid, etc.  I armed myself with knowledge that I have been using ever since.

I am careful when I shop for products that go on our bodies, because as safe as so many products may seem...they are not.  There are ingredients that cause cancer, endocrine disruption, asthma, allergies, reproductive toxicity, persistence and bioaccumulation...I mean, WHAT???  These are popular grocery and department store brands!!  I don't want that stuff on me, let alone MY KIDS.  So, I became the soap nazi.  No chemicals for you! 

I've held onto this for quite a few years now...since Alex was probably 2, and he's 9 now.  So...he's 9 now.  Becoming independent, wanting to do what his friends do, following trends, and all that good stuff.  One of the things some of his friends do is use this oh-so-manly product called Axe.  I'm sure you've seen the fascinating commercials - a guy turns to chocolate and the girls eat him, and of course the 'clean balls' one.  If you haven't...feel free to youtube it, I'll wait here.

So there we are at the grocery store, and the boy wants to 'go smell Axe'.  I don't mind humoring him once in a while, so no biggie, we'll go smell Axe.  My first course of action is to read the label.  Upon picking up the bottle and turning it over, the first thing I notice is the Recommended Usage.  It has this nice little diagram done in the spirit of 'later, rinse, repeat'.  Axe's label basically says 'shower, and the girls will be on you like white on rice'.  But, not in so many words.  Check it out sometime.  I literally laughed out loud when I saw it. Alex looked a little hurt, like I was digging at him personally.  Moving on to the ingredient label, I didn't immediately see any of the red flag ingredients I commonly look for, which was VERY surprising.  'Fragrance' is always a concern, and of course that is practically the #1 ingredient.  Ok that's an exaggeration, but it should be...I mean, have you smelled this stuff?  I have and let me tell you, I started sneezing right there in the Man Aisle of Woodman's.  VERY potent stuff.

Naturally, there is no way I am going to buy this garbage and bring it into our house to pollute his little body...not to mention my indoor air quality.  I do NOT want my little boy to smell like 'a hunk of man candy'.  Completely inappropriate and unnecessary!  I think at this point he is under the impression that because he got me into the aisle, we will be taking home one of these offensive bottles of poison.  HA!  No way!

As we are lightly arguing about it, a man about my dad's age comes and stands in front of us at the Axe display, and starts smelling the different scents.  Alex grabs his favorite and throws it in the cart, then in true character informs me that the last item we need to get is Ding Dongs.  I inform him (and indirectly the man in the aisle) that if he uses this Axe garbage, he is going to smell like a ding dong.  His resolve to buy the product does not waver, but the man turns around laughing, puts the bottle of Axe back on the shelf and walks away!  Yay, one point for Bonnie!!

To make a long story short, Axe came home with us that day.  I know, I know, it is completely the opposite of everything I normally do and buy and believe in and everything else.  Once in a while I give in to the puppy-dog eyes and the lower lip and the please please please I'll do anything you want I'll clean my room every day and scoop the litter box and anything else please please PLEASE.  Well, not only does the boy use Axe every day, but dear husband (the traitor!) uses it too. As my dad would say, they walk around smelling like a couple of French Who-ers.

It's a funny thing, this resistance I get.  I'm only trying to do the best for them and keep them safe.  GOSH.  Why can't they just conform and not want the bad stuff?!  I don't know.  Maybe a couple more brainwashing sessions are in order (I got the boy to go Vegan for about two weeks once!).  Something has to be done though, cause one day I will set him loose on the rest of the world and hope he makes the right choices.

Someday he will have a family with kids who may resist him, and I will have to remind him of the time he got rebellious and resistant and used Axe body spray as air freshener in his room, then called out 'HA, MOM!  Now my room is HYDROGENATED!!'


*Shameless Shaklee plug:  Shaklee has a full line of SAFE products, including skin care, hair care, and body products.  Check it out Shaklee Personal Products

www.ewg.org

Can we have ice cream for dinner?

Hi, and welcome!
Since this is my first blog, I imagine introducing myself is in order. I'm a stay-at-home mom of 2 with my own health & wellness business. I try to keep my house as green as it is possible for us; we compost, recycle, grow vegetables in the garden, reuse, reduce, etc. I buy organic. We don't use products with 'bad' chemicals to clean, do laundry, or wash our hair and faces. In the winter our heat is set to 62 degrees during the day (I wish I could take credit for that one, but its really my husband being cheap). My kids know we do not eat certain things, and words like 'hydrogenated' in the ingredients mean its BAD.

That said, I should also mention that I live in a fantasy world where everyone happily does what I want them to.

My 5 year old is usually pretty compliant. Eats what I give her, doesn't complain too much, tries new food items, etc. But every so often she gets a feeling of entitlement when it comes to deciding what she wants for any particular meal, and makes sure I understand that there will be no substitute for what she has decided is on the menu. Ice cream for dinner, or for that matter Doritos for breakfast, are not usually part of the idealistic meal plans I fantasize about.

I have these daydreams where my family is all sitting at the table, getting along, talking about school and work and friends and sports, and happily eating the wonderful, healthy, organic, vegetarian dinner full of nutrients and green vegetables! that I've prepared for them. Yeah, right. The kids whining about Ding Dongs break through my reverie every time.

I really admire those parents whose kids would never dream of asking for Little Debbie at the store. But one has to wonder...how did they do it? Hypnotism? Beatings? WHAT??? Could someone please let me know?!