When I'm Skinny, You Can Call Me Bitch.

When you go to a Tony Robbins seminar, part of what you learn is about nutrition and how different foods affect your body, mind, and overall well-being, and how important the acid/alkaline balance is.  At the end he asks you to commit to a 10-day cleanse.  I did the seminar, committed to the cleanse, and hung on full blast for almost two months. 

The cleanse is basically being vegan, but at the same time being very alkaline.  This really limits what you can eat.  (In a nutshell, all foods are either more acid or more alkaline, and you want to be more alkaline.  It has to do with the pH balance of your body and how your body holds onto fat and stuff and blah blah blah.  I lost 8 lbs in about 3 weeks.  Sign up for this website and download a list of foods here.  It's super-dee handy.)    

Basically, this cleanse entails:  no dairy, no meat, no animal products of any kind, nothing processed, no white sugar or flour, nothing fermented (so no vinegar or alcohol).  I know I'm missing something.  Oh, nothing canned.   No smoking, no stimulants of any kind including caffeine.  No fruit juices unless you squeeze those bitches yourself.  Sounds like goddam torture, doesn't it?!  Yaaaa, baby.

It's f*cking hard.  It's one of the most disciplined things I've ever done in my life.  But it's awesome.  You spend the first week drying out, which sucks, but after that it is almost addictive.  What's pulling me back right now is the weight loss, and it's healthy weight loss, not all stress your heart and your hair falls out weight loss.  Your skin - glowing.  Your period - practically nothing.  Your attitude (after the first week) - f*cking righteous!!  I've never felt better. 

Tony Robbins is a slick muthaf*cka. 

But naturally it was really hard to stick to 100%, so little by little I started re-incorporating foods back into my diet.  For a while I was straight vegan, and now I eat meat again.  I love coffee and I'm a bit of a boozer, but I still don't do much dairy.  I avoid the 'whites' and only use agave syrup or turbinado (or other natural) sugar.  Oh, and I try to avoid using the microwave, as it 'kills' your food.  Yes, it's true, shutup. 

Recent conversations and blogs I've read (I Want a Dumpster Baby) have gotten my wheels turning about this again.

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I used to workout like a fiend, then I sprained a couple things and it all went downhill.  It's so hard to go back to working out after you've been off it for so long, isn't it?  I felt so good when I worked out, and I know I would again, but it's just the pain and suffering of starting that is holding my lazy ass back.  And I'm suffering for it too, I'm carrying some extra weight that I am NOT proud of or happy about whatsoever. 

But starting a new workout plan and doing a vegan cleanse hold the same intimidation factor for me.  Once I get going I know I'll be fine, but it's just those first rotten steps that f*cking slay me.  I need to be held accountable.  I need Tony Robbins to come over here and light a fire under my ass.  I need to be bossed around.  I need to be held accountable. 

So, I'm calling in reinforcements. 
O'mayra, vacation is OVER and the chocolate fountain should be in (temporary) retirement. 
Sam, I know you're starting too.  But will you hold my hand and pee on me if I get stung by a jellyfish? 
Libby, get your bossy ass in gear and don't let me get away with shit!  
IT'S ON, BITCHES!! 

You want to join us?  Everyone needs at least one accountability partner.  I'll be yours, if you'll be mine too.  If you've got questions about acceptable foods or how Cinch products can help you keep your sanity, let me know.  Pick up Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin (it's in the Amazon bar at left) and check out the acid/alkaline site I posted above.  We all need support and someone to talk us down off the chocolate-coated ledge.  If you see me slacking, well, you know what to do.  This is an open invitation to kick my ass.  With the risk of sounding all lame and rah-rah-sis-boom-bah -  it's time to let go of what's comfortable.  If I can firewalk, I can do this.  You too.  Let's do it.

P.S.  I highly recommend the Tony Robbins UPW Seminar.  If you've ever had a single problem in your entire life, it's for you.  It's pricey, but if you wait long enough the tickets go on sale 2 for 1.  It's worth every penny.  Plus, you gotta love a guy who loves Shaklee.