This Winter Layer Ain't Cashmere

Brought out your fat pants yet?  I have.  I'm having a real problem, not just in the wardrobe department, but with food.  It just tastes so damn GOOD.  Thanksgiving through New Year's should just be called Food Season.  I even insisted we go with the shorter, wider Christmas tree this year just so I can stand next to it and look lithe and wonderful.  Ha!  Hopeless, I know.

I also fell off the workout wagon.  A couple months ago I sprained my right ankle, then a couple weeks later I sprained my right big toe pretty badly.  Then of course there was the big blistery burn I got when I dropped boiling spaghetti sauce on my right foot, and the possible fracture I sustained when I tried to catch a full *glass* jar of peanut butter with my right foot.  Toes don't like being smashed like that...they're still talking about it.  Sorry, right foot.  I didn't mean it.

It was easy to justify not working out when I couldn't do half the workouts in my classes, but despite my foot's propensity for injury, I haven't gone back now that I'm pretty much healed and fully capable.  At this point it is just laziness, though the couple of pounds I've put on isn't motivating me to go out in public in stretchy pants, either. 

This time of year there is some magical, mystical force that forces us to shove food down our throats when it isn't physiologically necessary.  I have succumbed to the force...even joined the Dark Side.  We're putting on our winter layer.  No, truly, we are putting on a winter layer of fat as insulation, to acclimatize our bodies.  Your body wants you to gain weight.  It's for real science, dude.  Hormone regulation and fat storage are way different in winter than in spring or summer.  Your body's production of Leptin gets all screwed and your body thinks its starving.  I know, right?!  WTF!  So your body produces appetite stimulating hormones so you eat more.

Its a goddam biological conspiracy!

I'm not saying this weight gain is healthy for us, no no.  Let's not get carried away.  I'm just giving an excuse for the lapses in judgement we suffer when standing in front of a table full of luscious, ooey gooey chocolately fruity frosted cream filled desserts.  Science.

With all the holiday gatherings going on, it's easy to load up on all the appetizers, booze, rich foods, booze, desserts, boozy desserts, dessert-y booze... and it's adding up.  FAST.  What's a fatty to do?!

My big idea is to eat healthier at home between all the parties.  I tried not eating at all and ended up binging at the end of the day, so I scratched that plan.  Of course working out at least a little bit would help compensate for the 7,000 (so I heard!) calories I consumed at Thanksgiving, and in leftovers every day thereafter for at least 4 days.  Yesterday at the grocery store I bought the monster pack of salad for $5, hoping the price would inspire me not to let it rot in the produce drawer of my fridge.  We'll have to see about that.

I'm so not going to get all preachy on you and say this is the perfect time to start some insane workout program, but if you're suffering like I am, here's a couple things to think about doing for damage control:

1.  Lighten the f*ck up.  Stress is one of the biggest factors in weight gain.  Need some help?  STRESS RELIEF.  It works.  I take it A LOT.  Also, levels of seratonin drop in the winter, causing you to experience all kinds of bullshit.  Try some Vitamin D!

2.  Take only cash to the grocery store.  This will (hopefully) force you to forego the junky empty calorie snack foods which tend to be kind of pricey.  *Disclaimer:  Do NOT go to the store with 400 bucks in your pocket. 

3.  Go walk around the block.  Just once.

4.  If you're at a food holiday party, have your steak or other main protein course, but go waaaay light on the creamy side dishes.  Load up on the cleanest-looking vegetables on the table. And eat them first.  The veggies will take up some valuable real estate in your stomach and keep you from overeating the bad stuff.

5.  Last but not least, when you're out shopping and get hungry do NOT swing into the nearest fat food joint.  Throw a protein meal bar or snack bar and a bottle of water in your purse.  It's enough to hold you over till you can get home and eat some of that $5 salad.

Don't forget...stuff like B vitamins regulate your blood sugar and keep cravings down and energy up.  My suggestion is to take two every morning.  If you like hot or cold tea, try this...a little caffeine + hunger suppressant = happiness.

Now go get 'em, tigers!

In-Flu...a diet??

I had food poisoning a couple weeks ago, after eating some apparently toxic pizza.  It was not a pleasant experience, of which I am sure many of you are aware.  As I was laying on the bathroom floor, freezing cold and sweating buckets, I had this crazy thought:  'This sucks but at least I'll lose a couple pounds and wake up with a flat stomach'.

Call it sick-brain talking.  Call it delusional.  Call it whatever you want, but don't deny that you haven't thought it yourself.  I'm actually pretty impressed that I was lucid enough to have purposely thought that little bit of genius.

Now that cold and flu season are imminent, people are rushing out all over the place to get shot up with the flu du jour, getting stocked on medicines and fluids and all.  Getting flu shots is totally a personal preference, and though I can site a zillion articles about why flu shots are bad, it's my opinion and a touchy subject and I really don't feel like getting into it.  My family doesn't get them.  Period.

Naturally (no pun intended) we do other things like diet, supplement, exercise, etc. to make sure we have healthy immune systems and when something does come our way we fight it and treat it, and drink our Performance (Shaklee's version of Gatorade), let it run its course, and if anything were to get out of hand there's the urgent care department at the docs office.  We eat good and take our vitamins and probiotics like good little anti-flu shot folks, but no matter what we do, germs will continue to float around like crazy.  Especially for those with kids in school with their sticky hands all touching everything all the time, precautions must be taken.  Hand washing is obviously important, using tissues and your coughing corner, cleaning and disinfecting your surfaces constantly (and safely!), etc. etc.  More common sense stuff that everyone knows.  Or should know.  If you don't, you've got problems.

Considering the candy-binge holiday that is in our very recent history, let me tell you a little tidbit about sugar and your immune system.  They don't get along.  You know how people say Vitamin C helps when you have a cold or flu cause it boosts your immune system?  Then they reach for the orange juice and all their problems are solved, right?  Wrong.  Vitamin C is good, yes.  But do me a favor and stay away from fruit juices.  Why?  Cause sugar puts your immune system right to sleep.  There have been studies done, so I'm not just making this up, specifically with orange juice, that prove this.  So just do yourself a favor and skip the juice, try a Vitamin C supplement and call it a day.

No matter what precautions we take, there is still always the chance that we can (will) contract the flu and spend a minimum of 24 hours barfing and shitting our guts out, not eating anything, laying in bed sweating and being gross and stinky and feeling like poo.

But honestly...how many of you have had the thought that if your kids DO bring home the flu (again) this year and you spend a couple days taking care of them and ultimately yourself doing the above mentioned activities...at least you'll lose a couple pounds?! 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any saying that you should purposely go out and get yourself on the flu-diet.  That's just dumb.  But let's look at the bright side.  Hey, there's always a bright side!  There's always an honest side too, so don't try and tell me that its a crazy thought that you'd never even consider.  You know you've thought it.

So good luck, ya'll.  Yeah, I said ya'll.  Whether you get the flu this year or you dodge the bullet, whether you get it or just don't...take care of yourselves!!  And if you want a REAL weight loss program, let me know!

Blowing Hot Air

It's in the upper 40's, windy, very fallish. In fact, it's cold.  Now, now, don't get all 'Are you kidding, just wait' on me, I've lived through 36 upper-midwest winters and I know what the real deal is.  But don't try to tell me that when your alarm goes off in the morning, in the dark, that it's anything close to easy to get out of your nice, warm, snuggly bed.
It's cold, ain' it?  You get the point.

Our heat is currently set to kick on at 62 degrees.  That's not a typo, let me repeat...sixty-two degrees.  YA, we're cheap.   That's all it comes down to.  But don't be alarmed, we handle it very well.

We've got this great wood-burning stove and a large supply of firewood (these trees just drop dead at our feet!), so we've got the stove fired up quite a bit.  Along with the electric blanket and down comforters, we're good.  In fact, when I go to other people's houses who are all 'nothing lower than a perfectly temperature controlled 72 degrees all year long', I absolutely die.  I'm sweating.  Hey look, that's me!

All this cold weather is actually VERY good for family togetherness.  Dog and cats, too.  Everybody piles on.

The other night, I woke up to use the bathroom and found myself so sweat-soaked I started to fear early menopause.  I returned to bed and laid down between my two little people, under the heated blanked, dog between my legs, and landlocked into not being able to expose my feet.  My feet are my thermostats, you see.  So when my shorties revolt and insist on bracketing me at night, my poor feet are trapped and the resulting overheating of this body is nothing short of a hazard.  How it is that I haven't shorted out that electric blanket with my hot body by now is a mystery.  Oh...and I sweat a lot, too.

The point is....wait, what is the point?

Do I tell you all the things you can do to conserve energy?  Turn down the thermostat at night, turn it down when you're at work, turn it down in general...?  Use weatherstripping, patch holes, get better insulation.  Make your home more energy efficient!  Well duh, this stuff is pretty common knowledge, kind of like turning off a light when you leave a room.  You don't need me to tell you this stuff.

Do we discuss how to keep your kids out of your bed?  Honestly I don't mind it that much as long as it's not all the time, nor do I as a parent really know how.  When the kids have a nightmare and come running in at 2 am, I feel bad for them that they're scared, but I also relish the snuggling and comforting and bonding.  As long as I can keep my feet liberated, that is.

So what do I prattle on about?  How about togetherness.  That's not a question.  What better way to inspire some snuggling than to turn down the thermostat and break out the blankets?  This certainly isn't a new concept, though it may be one that people don't typically think of.  Hmmm...snuggling and a lower electric bill?  Something for everyone!  Let's put that in the warm fuzzies category, right next to 'How many babies are born 9 months after cold weather sets in?'. 

There you have it people, more words of wisdom from your green friend.  Now go turn down the thermostat, get out the hot cocoa, get your blankie and a good movie and snuggle with the kids, then put them to bed. Then snuggle with the spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever you want to snuggle with and turn yourself into something right out of a Donna Summer song.  Who needs heat when you've got each other!!

(Fund)Raising Active Kids - JAK Version

You know how before you had kids everyone would tell you how expensive they are?  I just couldn't wrap my head around it.  I mean, how expensive could they possibly be?  Oh, believe me when I say I've figured it out, but just for kicks let's all get a good laugh at my expense at how clueless I was.

Using just my first as the example, I had myself convinced that kids are no big deal in the financial department.  Here's a bit about how I fooled myself:

• Making babies the traditional way is free.  Hallelujah.  Might have been down a bit for a bottle of wine and a nice dinner, but whatevs.  Insurance paid for most of the doctor visits, hospital stay, etc.  We were out a couple hundred bucks.

• Cutie maternity clothes...I spent a bit.  Had to be a fashionable preggie, right?

• Baby shower.  Everything you could possibly need to feed, clothe, and care for a baby, except the elusive instruction manual of course... all at one happy party.  Cha-ching.  Thanks, everyone!

• Bring baby home.  Diapers, wipes, cream for their little tushies. Let's say $25 at Jewel.  Nursed the baby for quite some time and saved a bundle on formula.

• Picked out some clothes and stuff that I just had to have...couple hundred bucks.  

Considering we just had a kid, this doesn't seem crazy expensive, does it?

• Went back to work and paid for daycare.  Ooof, that's a little painful, but we managed.

Time goes by.

• Preschool - couple hundred for the school year.  
• Clothes - buy a couple things here and there, but boy do we love hand-me-downs.  
• Toys - that's what holidays and generous relatives are for.  
• Elementary school - gym shoes, clothes, school supplies.  Etc. etc.

Ok, so things are really starting to add up, but these are minimal expenses considering the big picture, right?  Is it college tuition these people were talking about?  I mean, that's years down the line!  And anyway, my kid is a bona fide genius who will be loaded with scholarships.  College - bah!  We've got it covered.

Clothes can be a decent expense, especially if you don't have friends or relatives with an older child to pass stuff down.  Boys are tough too, cause they beat the heck out of everything. So every school year we have to shop for new jeans twice, new gym shoes, a couple hoodies, new backpack, blah blah.  Then half way through the school year they decide they won't be caught dead in the $200 of stuff you bought at the beginning of the year.  Or only certain brands, please.  All the other kids have NorthFace winter coats?  Sorry dude, not happening.  What?  A dress outfit for the concert at school?  Wait, he can't wear his old beat up DC gym shoes to that?   Skidded out on the playground and ripped the knees out of another pair of jeans?  So, ya it's adding up, but still seems fairly manageable.  

Then the sports begin.

All you other parents with kids in sports just collectively shuddered, didn't you?  Our boy has been the karate master since he was 3 and got the Tommy Nitro and the Crimson Sausage karate set, so there's never been a question of what he wanted to do.  So, we sign the kid up...$130.  Can't do taekwondo without a taekwondo uniform...sounds reasonable, $50.

180 bucks?  The kid better like it!

A couple months of classes and hi-ya's!  Then belt promotions start - $60 each.  (Ya, that's $60 TWELVE TIMES).  Then they start sparring and need all the gear to protect their body, head, and especially those teeth, cause God forbid anything happens to them, you know how expensive that would be?

Then they need weapons.  More weapons.  Then tournaments at $120 a pop.  Then we travel for tournaments, then he wins and needs a new uniform to tout his prowess.  A shelf!  He needs a shelf to display his trophies and medals!  Special shoes, warm up suits, bags and cases to carry all his stuff around in.  What the heck?  This is definitely an investment. 

I'm sure all parents with kids in sports go through the same thing.  The cost of registration, uniforms and equipment is astronomical.  I've heard that hockey costs are off the wall, ice skating is insane, and friends of ours with three kids in traveling soccer leagues are in for over a grand each season.  Et tu, soccer?

Obviously kids are expensive.  This is the real world, but it seems to me that keeping them out of sports because of cost shouldn't be an issue.  Kids need to be active and learn how to be team players and the discipline and confidence and all that. And besides...if they're not in it now, their chances of getting on the varsity team in high school are nil.  Gasp!  Of course there are cheap and/or free things they can do, but we want what they want, they love the sport, they love playing it and everything else that goes along with it, so we swallow the cost of it all.

Makes a sports-mom (or dad!) want to hold their own fundraiser…you bet I've considered it!

There are always second-hand stores we can check out for gear, namely of the Play It Again brand, but sometimes it seems that even though the items are used they aren’t much of a deal, and places like Goodwill are hit or miss (mostly miss) when you’re looking for one particular item.  

As an alternative I created a Facebook group for parents of kids in sports who may either have an abundance of sports equipment, or may be looking for such items and don’t want to pay (re-)retail price.   Parents can buy, sell, trade, give away, whatever.  In this economy it is all we can do for some of us to just stay afloat.  So check it out… For the Kids: SE Wisconsin: Sports Edition! and feel free to join and post.  

THAT'S using your dojo mojo. 

While we're on the subject of fundraisers – If your sports group/team/organization WOULD like to hold a fundraiser, Shaklee is a righteous choice.  This isn’t your typical fundraiser of hydrogenated chocolates and wrapping paper, and there is definitely something for everyone.  What better products could an organization dedicated to sports and fitness tout than those that are designed to make you healthier and support an active lifestyle!  Check out the entire Shaklee catalog here to see everything there is available - we have well over 300 products!  Contact me for more info!

Raising active kids...it takes a village!

(Fund)Raising Active Kids

You know how before you had kids everyone would tell you how expensive they are?  I just couldn't wrap my head around it.  I mean, how expensive could they possibly be?  Oh, believe me when I say I've figured it out, but just for kicks let's all get a good laugh at my expense at how clueless I was.

Using just my first as the example, I had myself convinced that kids are no big deal in the financial department.  Here's how I fooled myself:

• Making babies the traditional way is free.  Hallelujah.  Might have been down a bit for a bottle of wine and a nice dinner, but whatevs.  Insurance paid for most of the doctor visits, hospital stay, etc.  We were out a couple hundred bucks.

• Cutie maternity clothes...I spent a bit.  Had to be a fashionable preggie, right?

• Baby shower.  Everything you could possibly need to feed, clothe, and care for a baby, except the elusive instruction manual of course... all at one happy party.  Cha-ching.  Thanks, everyone!

• Bring baby home.  Diapers, wipes, cream for their little bee-hind. Let's say $25 at Jewel.  Nursed the baby for quite some time and saved a bundle on formula.

• Picked out some clothes and stuff that I just had to have...couple hundred bucks.  

Considering we just had a kid, this doesn't seem crazy expensive, does it?

• Went back to work and paid for daycare.  Ooof, that's a little painful, but we managed.

Time goes by.

• Preschool - couple hundred for the school year.  
• Clothes - buy a couple things here and there, but boy do we love hand-me-downs.  
• Toys - that's what holidays are for.  
• Elementary school - gym shoes, clothes, school supplies.  Etc. etc.

Ok, so things are really starting to add up, but these are minimal expenses considering the big picture, right?  Is it college tuition these people were talking about?  I mean, that's years down the line!  And anyway, my kid is a goddam genius who will be loaded with scholarships.  College - bah!  We've got it covered.

Clothes can be a decent expense, especially if you don't have friends or relatives with an older child to pass stuff down.  Boys are tough too, cause they beat the hell out of everything. So every school year we have to shop for new jeans twice, new gym shoes, a couple hoodies, new backpack, blah blah.  Then half way through the school year they decide they won't be caught dead in the $200 of stuff you bought at the beginning of the year.  Or only certain brands, please.  All the other kids have North Face winter coats?  Sorry dude, not happening.  What?  A dress outfit for the concert at school? Crap!  He can't wear his old beat up DC gym shoes to that? Crap!  Skidded out on the playground and ripped the knees out of another pair of jeans?  Crap!  Ya it's adding up, but still seems fairly manageable.  

Then the sports begin.

All you other parents with kids in sports just collectively shuddered, didn't you?  Our boy has been the karate master since he was 3 and got Tommy Nitro and the Crimson Sausage karate video, so there's never been a question of what he wanted to do.  So, we sign the kid up...$130.  Can't do taekwondo without a taekwondo uniform...sounds reasonable, $50.
180 bucks?  The kid better flipping like it.

A couple months of classes and hi-ya's!  Then belt promotions start - $60 each.  (Ya, that's $60 TWELVE TIMES).  Then they start sparring and need all the gear to protect their body, head, and especially those teeth, cause God forbid anything happens to them, you know how expensive that would be?

Then they need weapons.  More weapons.  Then tournaments at $120 a pop.  Then we travel for tournaments, then he wins and needs a new uniform to tout his prowess.  A shelf!  He needs a shelf to display his trophies and medals.  Special shoes, warm up suits, bags and cases to carry all his stuff around in.  WTF?  This is one hell of an investment. 

I'm sure all parents with kids in sports go through the same thing.  The cost of registration, uniforms and equipment is astronomical.  I've heard that hockey costs are off the wall, ice skating is insane, and friends of ours with three kids in traveling soccer leagues are in for over a grand each season.  Et tu, soccer?

Obviously kids are expensive.  This is the real world, but it seems to me that keeping them out of sports because of cost shouldn't be an issue.  Kids need to be active and learn how to be team players and the discipline and confidence and all that. And besides...if they're not in it now, their chances of getting on the varsity team in high school are nil.  Gasp!  Of course there are cheap and/or free things they can do, but we want what they want, they love the sport, they love playing it and everything else that goes along with it, so we swallow the cost of it all.

So, I've decided to have a fundraiser.   Sure, why not?  You want my kids to be healthy and active, DON'T YOU??  Here's what you do:
Go to www.greengiraffe.myshaklee.com and look around at all the great healthy products for you, your kids, and your home.  It's a great opportunity to go green with your cleaning supplies, switch out all your personal products to the safe stuff, or get your family on a daily multi-vitamin!  THAT'S using your dojo mojo.

So many options that will help me pay for two kids in taekwondo!  In return, I sincerely thank you, and I will send you a picture of my kids with their trophies.  You'll love it.

As an added bonus, send me an email with your kids sport and annual cost of registration and equipment, and I will send you a lovely rebate.  Don't forget to join membership!

Raising active kids...it takes a village. 

 

Thanks Be To Dog

Ever heard that owning a pet can be good for your health?  It's so true.  There have been actual scientific studies done that prove that having certain pet-friends will actually reduce stress and blood pressure in owners, increase longevity in those who've had heart attacks, and even relax and improve the appetites of Alzheimer's patients.  I've been trying to get numerous family members on the cat bandwagon for years, but they all resist (of course).  Pshaw.

It appears that pretty much any stress-related disorder, or any condition/sickness/disease/whatever that is affected or aggravated by stress can be helped by having a pet.  Isn't that amazing?  It makes so much sense.  If you have a pet, go love it up for a minute...it's a total stress reducer!  And they love you back so unconditionally, you can't help but to feel better.  

More than 57% of American households have pets of some sort.  And many of those have more than one.  That's 57% of people that are benefiting from having animals in their lives.  Personally, our zoo consists of one dog, two cats, a guinea pig, and a rat.  There was a toad, but I liberated him recently. 

Aside from the cleaning of cages, discoveries of chewed items, stepping on cold hairballs first thing in the morning, wretched dog breath, barf, pee, poo, hair, etc., our pets have made a big difference in our house, especially for me.  You may have seen my previous blog about pet products, highlighting the beauty queen that is our dog, Stella.  She makes me happy.  She makes me laugh.  We spoon.  She keeps me warm.  She gives me warm fuzzies.  She knocked me down once and I sprained my ankle.  I can hug her when I'm sad, and when I'm raging one look at her goofy face will always make me crack.

Further proof?  I sure will be sad when she dies. 
See?!  Pet = happy.  No pet = sad.

It's a well known (and glaringly obvious) fact that walking your dog every day will help get you active.  How much more true could that be?  If you don't have the motivation to get up and out by yourself, and as long as you would love and take care of it, why not get a dog?  I suppose you could walk a cat, but really if you know anything about cats you know that won't work.  Cats have their own agenda.  Of course there are those that put their pets in special pet strollers.  Hey, if it gets you out and active, I'll try really hard not to think you're weird.

Getting your pet (and yourself) out the door everyday is helpful in other ways, too.  When you're out walking your dog and getting exercise, you run across others doing the same.  You may socialize with these new folks that you may have never seen before if it wasn't for your walks.  New friends - new outlook - exercise and fresh air - better mood.  Dogs can help socially anxious people break the ice.

If you don't have the schedule, availability, or home available to be a dog owner, then volunteer to walk someone else's!  Or see if your local pound would let you walk dogs daily or weekly!  Hey, 57% of your friends and neighbors are pet owners, you know.

Pets can also prevent loneliness.  The majority people who have pets consider them a companion instead of property, and 97% of those people admitted to talking to their pets.  The other 3% lied, cause they totally do too.  They should just admit it.  I talk to the dog and cats constantly, especially when there's no one else home. It's just as good as talking to yourself.

So, there you have it.  Improve your overall health with a pet.  As long as you're not allergic or terrified of animals.  I don't think having a pet and being terrified of it will help you in any way.  If you're considering a pet for any reason, be sure you have the time, resources, and living conditions to provide the care they need and deserve! 

Famous Last Words

Do you love being told you're right?  I do.

I mean, who doesn't.  That's not a question, let's be realistic.  No room for modesty here.

Once in a great while someone will say those words to me.  Albeit, not often...for anyone I imagine.  People don't like admitting defeat no matter who they are.  But when it happens...ooh baby.  Say it again.  And again.  Ohh ya, one more time.  It's so satisfying...

Those magic words, 'you're right'.  They get me every time.

Most of the time I live in the land of the eye-roll.  I get it so often I am practically immune.  As many of you know, I am quite opinionated in all matters food, chemicals, health and whatnot.  I often put in my two cents where it probably isn't wanted, but honestly I just can't help myself.  No, I don't always like to be the person to tell you that you're doing it all wrong - being the bearer of bad news all the time isn't fun, you know.  Don't think your reaction isn't written all over your face...I am perfectly aware of how people take things.  Most don't want to be told that their Vitamin Water is no better than soda, or that their after workout Muscle Milk has terrible side effects blah blah blah.  I imagine people often think I am just trying to sell my own stuff, but that's not necessarily the case.  I try to educate for better choices.  Though I have been asked, 'why didn't you tell me?', me giving bad news is not what this blog is about. (That's this one).

It's about me being right.

How many times have you been solicited for advice, or given it freely only for it to be thrown back at you unappreciatively?  It happens to everyone.  (Jeez, I hope it happens to everyone and not just me).  No matter what you say, the recipient of your good intentions seems to disagree and purposely stay very clear of anything you suggest.  It's hard to understand sometimes, why one would be discounted so quickly.  Is my knowledge not credible because I didn't go to medical school?  I think not.  Maybe to some I am still viewed as 'little Bonnie, what could she possibly know?'.

Yes, this blog is about you.  You know who you are, MOM.  And especially you Tracy, though you still haven't taken any of my brilliant advice.  I threatened to blog about you, didn't I?  See what you get for laughing?  Mwah ha ha ha!!!  Who's laughing now, Carol?!!

Some time ago, my mom was having big problems with heartburn, acid reflux kind of stuff.  She was on a prescription for it from the doc...Zantac, maybe...and even had to go back for a stronger prescription when that one wasn't working.  After having knee replacement surgery and being on so many rounds of antibiotics for one reason or another, I deduced that she would really benefit from a probiotic (in general), and specifically that it would really help her acid reflux.  Since she was so skeptical and just because I knew it would help so much I even offered her a bottle for free out of the goodness of my heart, which was refused.  Some time later, like 6 months to a year of suffering, she tells me one day that she's now on a probiotic.  A friend of hers swore that they were working wonders for her, and that my mom should try it.  She did, and her acid reflux was practically cured.  Okey dokey.  Good thing that lady told her about probiotics, huh?

Just a week or two ago, I was having another conversation with my mom in which she informed me that she joined a Jazzercise class.  Yay!!  She had sat through one class to see what it was like, saw that there is every level of ability in the class, and signed up.  Now...my mom has been retired for a couple years.  During this time I have suggested over and over that she get out and do something...a cooking class, yoga, knitting club, anything!  I also told her that the more she is sedentary, the harder it will get.  I even bought her the Tony Horton (the P90X guy) Flap-assing with the Fogies video.  Well, I got to hear those magic words...ooh I get chills just thinking about how it sounded...'you were right'.  Ahhhhh.

Say it to yourself once or twice.  Doesn't it feel good?  Ya, you know it does.

How about all those conversations about how bad artificial sweeteners are?  Well, they wouldn't sell that stuff if it wasn't just fine for you, would they?  Well, well.  Isn't that a good question.  I've been on the anti-artificial bandwagon for a long time now, and I definitely make my feelings about it known...especially to those I care about, an especially when those same people consume more than their share of said sweeteners.  But don't listen to me, noooo.  Get a chain email about the dangers of aspartame.  Read it.  Heed it.  And forward it to ME, as if I didn't practically write that email.

Lucky for me my mom has a good sense of humor, and was forewarned about me writing this blog.  We laugh a lot together, no matter whose folly is being discussed.  More often than not, I think we are probably laughing about ME.  I'm not laughing AT you Carol, I'm laughing WITH you.  

To get to the ever-present point of the story, I'm not as full of baloney as you might think. Some people actually respect my opinions and advice because believe it or not, I'm not just talking to hear the sound of my own voice.

I'm right.  Just ask my mom.

Now, what would you like to know?!

A Dirt Cheap Solution

Lately, no matter what I look at, it looks expensive to me.  Food, clothes, utilities, you name it.  I know it's not just my imagination that the cost of things are going up, especially in the food department, but I can usually overlook it at the grocery store by just not buying certain things.  As an example, I refuse to pay over $1.29 for an avocado.  I just can't do it.

A couple months ago my husband sent me an article titled 'That's pricey: 13 items that cost more, or will soon'.  They talk about gas, airfare, furniture (?!), fast food (oh. darn.), FLIPPIN' CHOCOLATE!!!  I guess expensive chocolate is good motivation for me to NOT buy it, but I still like having the option...

One of the items on that list is household products.  Now that's interesting, isn't it? *wink wink*  According to the article,

'Diapers, soap, toilet paper, toothpaste, trash bags and many other everyday items all have been targeted for price hikes as companies from Kimberly-Clark to Procter & Gamble to Colgate-Palmolive respond to rising ingredient costs' 

- and -

'The Consumer Price Index has climbed 2.7% in the past 12 months, according to government statistics released Friday. That’s the largest rise since 2009.  Price increases will continue in the months ahead...'

Well that sucks. I doubt I am the only one feeling the repercussions of rising costs, but I can happily say that the rising cost of cleaning products will NOT affect me.  Don't fall victim to this baloney!  If you've read my blog before, I make it pretty well known that I love Shaklee products.  I usually go on talking about how wonderful and green and safe they are, but have I mentioned how much money they save me?  I know some of you don't give a rats ass how green they are...if I had a dime for every time I heard 'I just love my bleach, I'll never give it up!'...well, you know the rest. 

 I just got the sale papers for a couple grocery stores,and one has Windex on sale 2/$5.  That's a 26 oz bottle for $2.50, for the record.

When I mix up a bottle of Shaklee H2 windows and mirrors cleaner it costs me less than 1 cent.  Yes, less than $.01 for a 16 oz bottle.  Hmmm...2 cents (for 32 oz, not 26!) vs. $2.50 for 26 oz?  Not a hard choice.  Suck on that, Windex. 

Before I was enlightened I bought Fantastic and Clorox Clean-Up, at about $2.39 a bottle.  Then when I greened up I was buying Seventh Generation for $4.79 or even GreenWorks (which is total greenwashing, I now know) for about $2.50.  These days, when I mix up the equivalent Shaklee H2 all-purpose cleaner it costs me .22 cents...a gallon. If I was better at math I would figure out how much that is per bottle, but I really stink at it.  Feel free to jump in, math people.

I've got more, of course I do.  But I will not go on and on because I don't think it's necessary.  You want to save money where ever you can, and so do I.  This is one of the things I do that saves A LOT.  Total bonus...you don't have to walk down the cleaning product or laundry aisle at the grocery store...it stinks so bad!  I walk through there once in a great while, and every time I do I sneeze from all the perfumes and chemicals.  Yuck!  But, that's a whole other blog...

Did I also mention that you can use H2 on anything that can get wet?  Ask yourself a question:  Does this sound like you?  'But ohhh, waaahhh, I need a different cleaner for my kitchen and waaahhhh what am I supposed to use in the bathroom or on the floooooor?'.  H2 gets used on everything.  It dusts furniture, removes soap scum, cleans kitchen counters, mops floors, washes dogs, washes children, degreases grease, de-pests plants, de-wrinkles clothes, deters mosquitoes on you and fleas from your pets, etc etc.  You can clean anything with this stuff, and throw your dirty water outside and it will make your grass greener and your roses rosier.  I even shoot fruit flies right out of the air with it, and don't tell me that doesn't sound like fun.  Drink it, bathe in it, do what you gotta do...just don't forget to tell your friends about it.   

And to answer your next question, yes it works.  You couldn't put 'Always Works' in your motto if it didn't always work.  That's false advertising, and the green folks at Shaklee look down their squeaky clean noses at stuff like that.

So here it is, folks.  The solution to saving money with cheaper cleaners is at your fingertips.  All the cleaning products in the Get Clean line are concentrated out the wazoo.  You use less, you spend less, you save money and you can buy more shoes.  Want to buy more shoes save money?  Start here.  Come to the Light Side.  Do it now!!!

Finger Lickin' Good, Ya'll

How many times have you been driving down the road or sitting at a stoplight, minding your innocent little business, and happen to sneak a glance at the person next to you just to find that they are knuckle deep in their nose?  Sometimes you even get to witness the follow-thru...you know what I'm talking about.  Grown, supposedly mature, adults eating boogers.  GROSS.

Obviously kids do it.  Sooo many kids do it!  I was inspired to write this blog the other day by my little friend Jacob, who finds the inside of his nose positively irresistible.  Thank you Jacob!  He's lucky he's one of those super cute angel-face kids, cause he can totally pull off getting caught picking.

We all see people picking their noses all the time, don't we.  Sometimes we even get to make commentary.  Like when we were standing in line for the ferris wheel and the kid in front of us turned around so we would have the privilege of watching his booger show.  After he stuck his finger in his mouth, making full eye contact the whole time, my husband innocently asked 'Was that good?'.  Well?!  Don't you wonder what keeps the booger eaters coming back for more?

Maybe they know something we don't.  (Besides how boogers taste).

There's a certain doctor in Austria, a lung specialist, who believes that nose-picking and booger-eating will actually strengthen the immune system.  Let me restate that.  There's an actual medical doctor who thinks that eating boogers is a GOOD IDEA.  The idea is that all the little germs and bacteria that get hung up by the cilia and mucous in our noses, then picked out and eaten, actually works as a sort of probiotic for us, creating antibodies and helping fight off whatever is out there trying to slip past the gooey gates.

Who woulda thought?  Eating boogers is potentially a healthy(ish) habit?  I don't know...

If I see you totally digging and subsequently eating what you find, 

is it still considered a healthy habit 

if I barf on you?  

I doubt it.  I get the logic, I admit it makes sense.  But still, can't we just break the nose picking habit early and all buy Shaklee probiotics instead?!  Really, I will happily supply the world...

There's an actual scientific name for nose picking, it's rhinotillexis.  And compulsive nose-picking is rhinotillexomania.  There's even a latin word for booger-eating!  You know you want to know what it is.  It's automucophagy.  Hey, I totally understand that inquiring minds want to know, so I will oblige.

Here in The Land of Cheese, the first day of school countdown clock is about to hit blastoff.  With the inception of the new school year comes a whole slew of new germs for our kids to bring home to us poor, innocent parents.  Our families pass around colds, flu, viruses, heck even warts, that we've picked up while we are out and about.  Kids are obviously infamous for germ-transfer, especially the younger ones who are still perfecting the art of the 'coughing corner'.  What's that, you ask?  Um, hello?  The inside of your elbow, where all well-placed coughs and sneezes go!  Feel free to take notes here, folks.

So, what's a concerned parent to do to fight off all these germy germs?  There's the obvious hand-washing, disinfecting (with only safe, non-toxic cleaners of course), or using your coughing corner to not needlessly spread sickness around.  But needless to say, there are always some germs that get by even the most diligent hand-washing, mouth-covering, non-bare-surface-touching germophobe.  So, how about fighting them better from the inside, too? Our immune systems are a hugely important part of the body, and when sickness abounds we must strengthen ourselves to fight off the ones that get by.

Don't worry, I'm not going to suggest eating a few boogers.  You can do what you want, but don't expect me to shake your hand.  Obviously there are a lot of things we can do to help ourselves that does not include automucophagy.  There are a lot less gross things we can do, I should say.  Obviously eating right is the first one.  Some kids would not agree...they might actually prefer boogers to vegetables.  If that's not really an option you'd like them explore, literally, keep reading.

Did you know that refined sugar actually suppresses the immune system?  Ya.  It does.  So stop consuming so much.  Certainly taking a daily multi-vitamin (or one for kids), a probiotic, eating lots of lean protein, getting lots of sleep, regular exercise, and living in a clean environment are all ideal. There is plenty of help for cold and flu season!

So come on, folks.  Let's get to work.  There are a LOT of nose-pickers out there!  So when you see them...give them my number! 

Total Buzz Kill

This year at the beginning of the summer I instituted a rule:  Nothing with a screen between noon and 8 pm.

No t.v., no computer, no video games, no ipod.  Strangely enough, I kind of think the kids were excited about it in the beginning, this new rule that would really mix everything up.  Only at first did I have a little trouble enforcing the rule, and that was mostly because I would forget about it!  And of course now that the season is winding down and the late-summer boredom has set in, it is harder yet.  Regardless, the rule worked really well all summer, and I'll definitely do it again next year.  The kids played outside so much...like we used to when we were kids!  You know, before all this fancy schmancy hand-held technology.  HA!  We're old!

Because of my no-screen rule, all summer I was supplying constant ideas of new things they could do outside, or suggesting something to draw, make out of dough, paint (including objects), or construct out of other things.  We also spent a pretty decent amount of time at the beach.  Nothing like an endless amount of sand and water to really make a bunch of happy shorties.

That's a great thing about this area - how close we are to so many beaches.  And (amazingly) they're clean.  And not crowded!  Of course Lake Michigan water is body-numbing frigid most of the summer but hey, you get hot, you jump in, you cool off....quickly. What more can you ask for?

Since we've lived here, our family has unofficially chosen one particular beach as our favorite, and we go there more than any of the other area beaches.  It's a Lake Michigan beach, and most of the summer it was fantastic.  There's a little 'pool' area that's warmer than the lake, a little stream from the pool into the lake, tons of cool rocks and fossils to collect, bigger rocks for climbing, lots of beach glass hunting for me, and the sand is pretty fine and light.  It's a great spot.

Except for the second half of August.  Oh Goodness.

We've visited this beach twice in the past two weeks, and ended up running out of there after only about a half an hour, chased out by those nasty little biting black flies.  I've experienced this quite a bit, in quite a few places around Wisconsin.  I'm sure it happens other places but I just don't know about it.  Is it the lake?  The sand?  Obviously they wait until the end of the summer to appear...but why?  And why do they have to follow you and bite you and make it so dang miserable that you have to leave?!  My friend told me yesterday that it hurts when they bite you because they are literally ripping off a chunk of your skin.  Awesome.

Where we live we also have big-time mosquito issues.  Wisconsin doesn't spray, so we have to take it into our own hands.  Luckily, Shaklee H2 works great as a natural repellent for your body, but we do go through our share of Off and have even stooped to spray the yard because it was just so hard to be outside without it.  Yes, I know.  Bad chemicals.  But what's the alternative?  Don't go outside?  I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Since I compost and we eat a lot of fruit and vegetables, I often have a lot of fruit flies in the kitchen.  Naturally there are ants, and once in a while some moth or other weird freaky bug comes wandering in to die a most hideous death at the hands (or paws) of my cats. 

What's an eco-friendly mom to do?  Spray the crap out of everything with chemicals and hope for the best?  Well, maybe. But not until I get so fed up there's no other choice!  Until then, I try to control it all as greenly and as safely as I can.

Here are just a few things I have found and used:
A little bowl of apple cider vinegar with a drop of dish soap mixed in lures those pesky fruit flies to a liquidy death.  Works great.
Repel mosquitoes safely with H2 wipes or all-purpose formula sprayed on.
You can even spray fruit flies right out of the air with the H2 all-purpose. It's kind of fun!
If you know where the ants are coming in, pour some cornmeal around and the greedy little bastards will snatch it up and take it back to the nest where all their greedy little bastard friends will eat it.  Unfortunately for them, they can't digest it, so it swells up inside their disgusting little bodies and the greedy little bastards burst.  Whoopee!
I've also heard that drawing a chalk line works cause the ants won't walk across it, and sprinkling baby powder around for the same reason.

These solutions are all fine and good, but I'm out of apple cider vinegar, and I don't know where my ants are coming in...they just appear in the middle of a blank wall, the little teleporting freaks!  This spring my super-efficient and green friend Libby gave me this awesome bug-zapping contraption.  Looks just like a tennis racket, but has a little electrical charge that zaps any of those rotten little fliers right out of the air.  WHAT FUN.  When we first got it, we would literally go seek out the bugs, like turn on the porch light and wait beneath it.  We sure are easily entertained, but in all seriousness this thing is awesome.  No chemicals!  I even got a couple ants with it even though they weren't flying.  Oh, and the crackle it makes when you get a bug is oh so satisfying...

Of course all good things must come to an end, and the good bug-zapping tennis racket unfortunately came to an end.  When something is that much fun, it is irresistible to the shorter people that are always hanging around, and you know how badly they treat their toys?  Ya, same story.  So now what?

Well...I have a spider.  He moved in over the kitchen sink the weekend we were out of town, and I've left him there for 2 weeks now.  He's caught ants and fruit flies and who knows what else...it's hard to tell what the little mummies might have started off as.  I am one of those people who really do NOT like spiders.  There are some crazies who catch them in their house and set them free outside.  Crazies!!  Not me.  I usually smash them, spray them, electrocute them, flush them, whatever.  Their demise is my comfort.

But not this time.  This little daddy long-legs is my friend and I like it.  I even put a chunk of overripe banana under his web to attract the fruit flies so he wouldn't move away!  Yep, I just keep getting nuttier and nuttier over here.

At any rate, my new friend certainly doesn't help with what's going on out in the yard or at the beach, but bugs are allowed to be outside, I suppose.  Next year I will get a new bug-zapping tennis racket to take everywhere with me!  In the meantime, just call me spider mom!

Gettin' Schooled

Ahhh...four of my favorite words are floating around constantly in conversations, commercials, even sales flyers - Back To School Time.  Just typing and reading it gives me warm fuzzy feelings.  Our district doesn't start until September 1, so we are still a week and a half away.  That's ok though, it's good.  I have 8 more days (not counting weekends) to enjoy some last minute summer activities and having my kids home with me all day.  But who's counting?

This summer has been great though it sure went fast, but all in all I give it four stars.  We did some traveling, celebrated the wedding of my husband's brother, spent time at the beach, my kids played with their friends, etc. etc.  What more can you ask for?  Only that eventually school will start again...and it will.  It is upon us, in a mere 8 days.  8...more...days...

Like death and taxes, sort of... every year it comes time for school supply shopping.  This is an especially joyous occasion for the children.  After a season of freedom and fun in the sun, there is nothing they would prefer to do than the combination of thinking about school starting and shopping.  It's quite the dynamic duo, don't you think?

    Shopping
+  Going back to school
=  Not very fun for anyone

Every year we get the good old supply list to follow and shop till every item on the list is accounted for;  ziplocs (2 sizes), pencil boxes, non-marking gym shoes, dry erase markers (low-odor only!), 3-prong 2-pocket folders in 4 different colors (plastic lasts longer!), etc.  One of the items that appears on the list every year that really burns my ass is those pesky wet wipes.  I've had lists that called out specific brand names of disinfecting wipes, though to the school's credit in the last couple years the brand names have been left off.

I've spent enough time at the school in past years to see that most parents are still supplying the classrooms with disinfecting wipes, and I've spied with my own two eyes a teacher lining up the kids and handing them each their own Lysol wipe to wipe their hands with.  Gah!!

Some time ago while researching this whole issue, a friend of mine contacted Clorox regarding their products being on school supply lists, and the correct usage of disinfecting wipes specifically in a school setting.  Clorox responded (in writing, no less) that the correct usage of a disinfecting wipe is thus:  Wipe once with a clean wipe to remove any actual, visible dirt and discard that wipe;  Get a fresh wipe and re-wipe the same surface to disinfect.  For anyone not counting, that's a two-wipe process.  Clorox went on to say that their wipes should only be used while wearing protective gloves, and are ONLY for use by adults.  That's adults, not children. 

Since he started kindergarten my son has only been taking wipes to school that have been approved by ME.  (I've done my homework and I'd like to think I'm some what of an authority on the subject, so this isn't just based on my opinions or what I'd like to sell you.)  I've informed all of the teachers that either of my children have had that they are not allowed to touch any of those toxic disinfecting wipes...it is bad enough that they are used by other children, and on the desks after school hours and the kids are touching the residue and breathing in the fumes all day long.  But, as one parent I can only do so much to protect my own children when they are in a group setting.  Without seeming like that crazy mom whose kids live in a bubble, anyway.

Some time ago, I watched part of a documentary or news show about a woman who refused to touch anything without having a disinfecting wipe in her hand first.  She'd even grab her mail with a wipe!  It was so out of control that a doctor told her that within the next five years she would most likely be diagnosed with some sort of cancer, as well as numerous other potential health problems that come from absorbing toxic chemicals, specifically through the skin. I searched long and hard for the specific article, but could not find it.  Rest assured, there are a lot of crazies out there with similar problems.  Just Google it if you want to read more.

What I'm saying here folks, is that if we ALL supply our schools with safer alternatives then ALL our children will be in a healthier environment for 8 hours a day.  Chemical exposure and fumes can be responsible for a lot of different problems like attention and behavior, and in schools any interruption in the learning process is very unwelcome.  So why are these chemicals still allowed in schools?  There was an experiment done with some children and a handwriting test.  Tested before and after inhaling chlorine bleach fumes, the children showed serious effects from the fumes that our kids most likely breathe in every day at school.  One child tested wasn't even capable of writing his own name after exposure.  Is this what we want for OUR children?  I think not.

Naturally I'm going to recommend Shaklee's H2 wipes, because I know they are safe and proven.  They are non-toxic, biodegradable, and pH balanced to the skin.  Shaklee's Germ Off wipes are the safest disinfecting wipe on the market, and are also biodegradable.  My kids will be taking one container of each with them to school on the first day...with their names written on the top and instructions to the teacher that these are the ONLY wipes my children are allowed to use.

I can only hope that more and more parents see the big picture and supply our schools (and our HOMES for that matter) with the safest, non-toxic cleaning products possible.  So many people are still under the impression that if it's available at the grocery store, it must be safe.  This is so far from the truth, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when I think about how misinformed the American public is.  Chemical companies don't care if they are poisoning you, folks.  And neither does the FDA.  Not sure if I can say who said this, but here is the quote anyway:  "People assume that it’s on the shelf it’s been tested, it’s safe. And you can’t make that assumption all the time. You can’t. Not with the regulatory framework we have in place."  Read the full article here, and more here, and a bunch about children's health here.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

We need to protect our own.  Start NOW.


P.S.  For those of you who cry on the first day of school...buck up, huh?!  Wipe your tears...it's not like they won't be back in 8 hours.  Enjoy!

Enough with the Blind Eye!

For argument's sake, let's say that you read my last blog.  Let's say that you never buy food items from China because you were already aware of their many contaminations and other food issues.  Awesome!  Good for you, it's a step in the right direction.

Now let's say that you were at the grocery today and bought Ecuadorian bananas, mangoes from Costa Rica, and clementines from Chile.  Make yourself a mental picture of the workers who farm in those countries and harvested your newly acquired produce. Quaint, isn't it?  Straw hats, donkeys, Juan Valdez.

Now picture this:  thousands of Latin American families devastated by the pesticides and herbicides used to grow that pretty produce that now sits in your fruit bowl.  Atrocious sicknesses, infertility and sterility, cancer, paralysis, skin infections, headaches, lung damage, nose bleeds, and loss of sight to name a few.  Chemicals made by companies like Dow, Bayer and DuPont and used by companies like Dole and Monsanto.  Those companies then refuse to compensate the injured workers and their families and deny the existence of any problems.  American workers have also been affected by these chemicals and their injury claims denied!

No way can I sit back and eat my perfectly yellow banana and pretend this isn't going on.  Once you learn that the food you are eating has these chemicals on it, or that the people responsible for bringing it to you are dying for it, it's impossible to turn a blind eye to it. Twenty-five percent of the world's pesticides are used in third world countries and it this is where over 99% of pesticide related deaths occur.  Is this supposed to be ok?

 Today I read an article about this subject that came to me in a newsletter from a site called Natural News.  For the record - the article really pissed me off.  If you don't subscribe to the site already I highly recommend that you do so.  The headline caught my eye because of the blog I wrote the other day, and the subject has been on my mind.  The fact that this is going on all over the world and these American companies are taking such advantage of other countries well and truly offends me.  This isn't a case of another country poisoning their own soil because of their own lax policies.  This is American companies employing farmers and workers, producing food for export to Americans, and leaving their people sick and their homelands polluted for years to come.  It's so wrong.   

If we all needed another reason to buy organic and buy local (as if!), well there it is.  Read the article for yourself and look up the chemicals mentioned (try Wikipedia or EWG).  I did.  I also got the 'clementines from Chile' reference from my own fruit bowl.  I bought those clementines at my local Target, and let me tell you how I won't be doing that again.  

If you think that your government and governmental agencies are protecting you, wake up.  Open your eyes and watch what you're putting into your mouth.  Not sure why you should avoid pesticides and herbicides in the first place?  Explore here, and here.  Need more proof?  Find it here, here, here.  Support your local farmers, grow your own, and buy organic!  Support companies that are doing the right thing. You're making the world better for everyone by doing so!

The Good, The Bad and The Gelatinous

As the growing season starts and so many good little gardeners are outside planting seeds for vegetables and assessing fruit trees and bushes, the question of organic vs. non-organic seems to be at the forefront of a lot of discussions.  Organic vs. non-organic has become a pretty mainstream topic, and although there are all sorts of articles and t.v. shows and blurbs on the news (or blogs!) there are still so many who question what to do.

Organic is too expensive, say some.  It's worth it, say others.  You may be somewhere in between.  I am.  I would prefer to buy all organic and I wish I could afford $8 strawberries, but it's just not realistic. You may have heard of the 'Dirty Dozen'...the worst fruits and vegetables to buy non-organic.  If not, you can see it here.

If you're one of those good little gardeners who grow their own...good for you!  I wish I was a better gardener.  I really like it...I mean even the flowers, vegetables, all of it, but I have a major brown thumb.  I plant, and they inevitably die a dried up, withered death.  I can't even keep a houseplant alive.  There are some garden items that seem to take care of themselves, which is nice.  Strawberries, raspberries, some herbs.  The fruit trees just need occasional trimming, no biggie.  Rhubarb.  They just grow and grow.  If it's really low-maintenance and I can't screw it up too much, it's alright by me.  Or should I say, it's relatively safe FROM me.

I do like to be out there in the garden digging holes and planting, laying it all out, pulling weeds, etc.  But really I think my worst issue is the bugs.  As soon as the mosquitoes are in full swing, the spiders are as big as your hand, and the fliers have no concept of personal space...I'm outty.  I'm done.  No spray (though H2 wipes work pretty well) can fix it, I just can't tolerate the bugs. 

Last weekend I took the boy to the nursery and shopped around in the pouring rain.  That was fun.  While there, I noticed some vegetable plants, I think these particular ones were patio tomatoes, planted in this weird clear gel stuff.  After my initial recoil, my first thought was to wonder if the inside of the tomato turns out as gelatinous as the stuff it's growing in.  Yuckedy yuck!  I still don't know what that gel is (yes of course I Googled it), or despite some website claims - how non-toxic and biodegradable it is.  I just can't see myself being comfortable eating a vegetable that I picked off a plant grown in the same type of gel that a baby pees on in their diapers night and day.  What...?  Doesn't that sound delicious?

Finding this abomination inspired me to post a poll on my Facebook page:  Would you knowingly eat a vegetable grown in that water-retaining gel stuff?  I mean, maybe I'm overreacting and it's the best eco-friendly, organic enabling, water-conserving goo there has ever been!  Aside from my favorite hecklers who answer so many of my nutritional-type posts with just simply 'Bacon!' - you know who you are - I only got two serious answers.  The first answer was basically a resounding 'Oh hellll no!', and the other...the other was a little disturbing.  (Sorry babe, if you're reading this I don't mean to pick on you).  The answer was; 'No. That is why I do not want to know.'.  This baffles me.  Being so conscious of chemicals, and I fully acknowledge that not everyone is like me, this is something I think about with every vegetable I pick up.  Sometimes I will not buy an item at all if I don't like the looks of it and if organic is too expensive.  And I don't mean I skip it cause it's not pretty enough.  I mean, it's too damn pretty or the packaging looks...too...happy.  I don't know. 

Moving on.  

The other day a headline really caught my eye...when 'exploding' and 'watermelons' are in the same sentence...I mean, come on.  Like that doesn't sound fun?  I had to click it and see what was up.  I learned that a whole bunch of watermelon crops being grown in China were ruined because the melons exploded.  Exploded!  Awesome!!  No, no, forget I said that.  Not awesome.  The reason they exploded was because the Chinese farmers used some sort of growth chemical (forchlorfenuron) that caused the watermelons to grow so quickly that thousands of them burst right out there in those Chinese fields.  *Side note:  As it turns out, that same chemical is approved for use in the U.S. for grapes, raisins, and kiwi fruit, and is toxic to honey bees.  Just so you know.  And wouldn't you rather know?


In this day and age of 8 & 9 year olds getting their periods, I would certainly rather know whether my fruits and vegetables (or milk or meat or whatever) have been treated with some growth-inducing crapola.  You eat it, and it's in you.  This isn't confined to what I talked about above, either.  Pesticides, antibiotics, hormones, chemicals of every shape and form.  Ever heard this one...? -->  You are what you eat.


Now that we know what Chinese farmers did to their watermelons to make more money, do you wonder what they're doing in all aspects of food production?  I do.  China is infamous for pollution, ground contamination, poor practices in food production.  Arsenic in soy sauce, borax in pork, melamine in milk, and pharmaceuticals in water and earth.  Their lenient policies in these areas make them very successful producers.  And a lot of stuff comes out of China.  

One of those things I found not too long ago that really really bothers me is Capri Sun....because apparently we don't have enough apples here in the U.S. to make our own juice boxes...?   So we're even buying juice from China.  Why?

Because it's cheap and kids dig it.  Kids like it because it tastes good.  How can something taste so good, and be loaded with so much shit?  Sugar and artificial flavors in juice.  Why?  The real thing is great!  Sweet, refreshing, good for you.  It may not be blue or come in a fancy little pouch, but the kids drink it all the same. 


Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the Chinese or importing other stuff from there.  But food?  I mean, freaking APPLE JUICE?  Obviously some things only grow in certain places, but I'm not talking about those.  Let's buy local, folks.  Or grow your own. Enough with the Chinese Capri Sun!  Get it together out there.  

No excuses, either.  I'm lucky to have a yard big enough for fruit trees and a garden, but I've also knocked on peoples doors to see if they were going to use the zillion apples hanging off the 7 trees in their yard, or the mulberries the birds are feasting on, or the pears hanging neglected.  Join your local freecycle!  There are constantly people posting free vegetables, fruit, whatever.  Make friends with your green-thumbed neighbor!  If they are supplying you with zucchini and green beans, suck it up and pretend to like them.  It's all out there, and it doesn't have to be from the other side of the world.


Be careful what you eat, what you buy, what you put in and on your body.  I can't say it enough.  Be aware and be knowledgeable.  And if you get an overwhelming desire for exploding items, for goodness sakes, the 4th of July is just around the corner! 

Bursting Bubbles and Raining on Parades

Did you ever see that SNL skit that is set up like a commercial for high fructose corn syrup?  If you haven't, enjoy it here.  It's hilarious and I definitely got a good laugh out of it at the end, but I have to be honest when I say that in the beginning when the party-host mom starts going off on the other woman, I started to sweat.

It made me anxious cause that's totally me, I'm the one who's always telling people what they're doing wrong and I often wonder what people think when they see me coming.

"What's she going to tell us we're doing wrong, this time?  Hide your snack foods and drinks folks, cause here she comes!" 

All people want to do is enjoy their cup of coffee with Italian Sweet Cream Coffeemate in peace, and here I come to tell them that it's going to give them heart disease.  Sure it tastes good and provides relaxation and enjoyment, but how can anyone relax and enjoy something that is so unhealthy?  And how does one keep one's mouth shut when apparently others are not aware of the contents of what they are consuming?  It's a different story if they are fully aware and don't care and eat/drink it anyway.  Then it's their problem.  They might get a raised eyebrow and a tsk tsk from me but if they know what they're doing, they're on their own. 

So this is my dilemma.  Do I want to be that person to always tell people that...Coffeemate is massively hydrogenated, Slim Fast is garbage in a can, Vitamin Water is no better than soda, or that daily multivitamin they are taking is no better than swallowing one of your kids Littlest Pet Shop pieces?

No, I don't always want to be the one.  But who else is going to tell them?  Are they better off living in ignorance?  Some people would say yes, live and let live.

I kept my mouth shut about something once and later on when the person found out what bad ingredients were in it, she asked me why I didn't say anything.  Because I'm always the bearer of bad news, and it's not always a fun position.  When I get a good reaction and someone is actually grateful for the information I've shared, then I feel good about it and it's worth the risk of putting myself out there.  But I have been in the position where I've been asked 'what am I doing wrong, now?' with no shortage of attitude.  Like THAT wouldn't make someone uncomfortable!

I'm not trying to be a know-it-all, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad.  I do it because I care.  So, that said, if you want to hear what you're doing wrong...you know where to come!