I've been MIA. No blog, no Facebook posts, no tweets. My web presence has been nil. Neglecting my email, voice mail (not like that's anything new), even snail mail. Why? I wish I had a fantastic reason like I've been visiting Portugal or working for world peace or feeding the hungry. Nothing like that, though as it turns out, it is pretty fantastic.
Well jeez Bonnie, what HAVE you been doing? I've been collecting.
That's what this post is about. Collecting. It isn't green or nutritious, and it isn't fit or eco-friendly. You can print it out and compost it when you're done reading if you want, but I really wouldn't want you to waste the paper.
This post is about time, and friends, and homework for parents. And collecting. Yes, collecting.
I have found that I'm not the best time-manager, but I'm working on it. Making schedules, planning my days, setting aside time to do the stuff I need to be doing to move onward and upward. It's definitely helping! My business coach recommended that I make a daily schedule for myself, down to the hour, for the things I have to get done or want to do get done. An hour here for this, two hours there for that, and I am more productive than ever. THAT, my friends, is for the things I can anticipate and control. Sometimes stuff comes up that we have to address, and I find that I fall into this black hole of time-sucking frenzy.
One of my biggest time consumers recently has been 'The Kenosha Project'. My son is in third grade, and apparently every third grader in the Kenosha area gets to do this project. There are a few options of different types of projects the kids can choose from but by far the most popular one is to tour the area, taking pictures and gathering information, and then put the report together in scrapbook form. Unfortunately, driving around town is not something a 3rd grader can do on their own.
At first I really resented that this project had the requirements that it did because of the time involved. This is the kind of stuff I fondly refer to as 'parent homework'. We were provided with a list of places to go to, and spent 2 whole days and part of another just driving around town from place to place. (That's not including the time to put the report together! Hours!) We visited museums, memorials, statues, and signs. Found inscriptions and gravestones, got stickers and collected clues. Somewhere along the way it started turning into more of a scavenger hunt than an assignment. We worked as a little team to beat the clock. It was fun, and it was quality time. Sure, it was educational, but the education part of it kind of took a back seat to the experience itself. Taking silly pictures of my kid strategically placed to look like he is holding up the Jelly Belly jelly bean, or stopping at a long-time local drive-in for cheeseburgers and root beer floats - the boy even bought us lunch! We ended up having a great time together, collecting memories and experiences I will treasure and relive every time I open that scrapbook or revisit one of the many area sites.
Inevitably, the time came to put the report together. I'm not a scrapbooker, nor am I exceptionally creative where visual arts are concerned, so needless to say my plan wasn't beautiful. The boy is certainly no help in this department...he doesn't even like to do his regular homework, let alone some gorgeous scrapbook that takes hours if not days to put together.
My plan - what would have ultimately ended up as a total disgrace to the experience - was construction paper, hand-written descriptions, a picture, glue, hole punch, yarn, done. If we happened to pick up anything else on the way, we could include that too. Brochures, booklets, souvenirs of any kind. Glue it on the paper, tie the papers together, and call it a report. It's the information that's important, right? Ya, so NOT.
In the thick of putting this report together I told my friend about what I was having the boy do. She has a 4th and a 5th grader, and two Kenosha reports already under her belt. Throw in a little scrapbooking, and we have ourselves one talented friend. She must have been cringing at my description, and I'm sure her hands shook as she texted me to bring the stuff over - she would help. NOW. That tone came through text loud and clear.
Lucky for me she has a touch of craft-supply-hoarding, so she was well prepared with punch-out paper letters in every color of the rainbow and every font. Little decorative stickers, glue pens, and tabs to put on the back of the pictures, an awesome binder that the pages came out of, background paper, even a little tool to round out edges, fancy scissors. I was definitely out of my element, and basically just followed her directions. We spent hours of cropping, measuring, matching colors and making layouts, gluey fingers and eyestrain, it came together. Needless to say, thanks to her the report turned out great, and time spent with a friend is always good. More collecting.
But let me tell you, he better get an A++ cause damn it I'm 36 and I can do the work of a 3rd grader well, thank you very much.
We all like to be rewarded or recognized for time spent and a job well done just as much as the next guy. But as parents, or small business owners, or housewives, or any combination thereof, our rewards can be a little different. Our kid gets a good grade or a 1st place and its a reward for us too, no doubt. But what about all the time spent driving people around, sitting through sports practice and games, grocery shopping and errand running? I reward myself with backed up laundry and a dirty kitchen floor. But it's ok, cause in the end its all for the greater good.
This past weekend was spent going to and from Pennsylvania for a taekwondo tournament. Nine hours there, nine hours back. Out of 5 kids there were half-dozen 1st places, twice as many 2nds, 3rds and 4ths, good sportsmanship and support, hours of conversation and silliness. A long drive? Yes. But the collection of memories and experiences from this weekend was well worth it.
I promise to manage my time better so I can help myself too, because it's all really a big circle, isn't it? We help ourselves and therefore help them, and by helping them we help ourselves. We collect joy from their successes, and hugs and snuggles and tears from their not-so-successes. We get satisfaction from our own accomplishments, and when we've accomplished what we planned we feel better about the time we've spent and have more to offer them when it's their time.
I promise to stop and think about the experience and what we've all reaped from it before I complain about how much time it took. Time flies by us, but we really need to stop and look at what we've collected along the way, cause the collection is really the whole point.
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