Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia! A Product Review

I live very near a Woodman's.  I know, lucky me, right?!  For those of you who don't know what Woodman's is or have never been to one, Woodman's is the end-all-be-all of grocery stores.  They have it all.  I mean all of it.  Everything.  Everything there is to have, they have it.  All you have to do is want it, and be ambitious enough to look for it.

My favorite part of Woodman's is their clearance carts.  Every time I enter the store, I grab a cart and immediately head toward the area where a myriad of bargain-laden carts wait for me in all their shiny chrome splendor.  Expired items, half-wilted produce, all the stuff nobody else wants...all overripe for the picking.

There are also a couple different locations around the store that hold different clearance items, but I'm not letting that cat out of the bag.  Suffice it to say that yesterday I came across a fancy little bargain bin containing a most bizarre item.

This:

Getting excited?  I am.

Being an enthusiast of the bizarre, and also someone who will try just about anything, I grabbed two and carried on.  I knew this must be an expensive item, considering the plethora of floaties and all the highfalutin key words on the label and the fact that it was still $1.50 on clearance, but also considering its appearance, I stuck with two because I wasn't sure I would like it.  Granted, me not liking a food item is strange, but still.  Look at this stuff up close and tell me that imagining a big swallow doesn't give you a case of the heebee jeebees.

Mmmm chia seeds.

I carried on with my day as usual, and around 8pm I remembered the two bizarre little gems in my fridge and decided to give it a go.  There were only two flavors available, grape and cherry, of which I had gotten one of each.  I grabbed the cherry first and gave it a little shake, opened that baby up and tentatively took a sip.

HOLY CRAP!!!  This is the most fabulous drink EVER!!  It has a weird consistency, but who cares.

What?  You have 'an issue with texture'?

Well buck up little buddy, cause it is so dang good, and really, you can't even tell that you are swallowing a whole bunch of chia seeds with each big slurpy mouthful.

So I guess its all healthy and raw and organic and kombucha (whatever the hell that is) and chia and so much fiber and it'll give you mad energy, but so what.  IT TASTES AWESOME.  I guess Kombucha can be this awesome weight loss thing, it decreases your appetite, improves your digestion, and can be drank? drinked? drunk? before a workout for an energy boost.  It's vegan.  It's raw.  It's organic.  It's kosher.  Heck, it's anti-fungal!  Who doesn't want to drink their anti-fungals?!

From their website:

Serving Suggestions

• Try one in the morning instead of coffee.
• Have one an hour before your workout.
• Sip it throughout the day for sustained energy.
• Drink it with or without a meal to help control your appetite.
• Drink one now! You'll feel better.

That last one is my favorite.  And they're right.  You should get one.

I went back for more today.  There was only one left in the bargain bin so I hit the produce section and grabbed the other two flavors to try.  Now, regular price on this stuff isn't exactly cheap, but each bottle IS two servings.  Of course, I had to restrain myself from drinking the whole two servings in one big weird-consistency gulp.  If I ration myself carefully, I can do this.  I'm gonna drink a lot of this seedy goodness.  And so can you.  It's definitely worth a try, once you get over the sticker shock. 

So next time you see me and I look like this, you'll know why.

Ch-ch-ch-Chia!