Adventures in Greenness

It's Easy Being Green! Your Eco-Friendly Guide to Discrimination

2012-02-28T16:08:00.000-06:00

You know what I'm sick of? Racism. Sexism. Descrimination against sexual orientation. Bigotry of every kind. Holier than thou, superiority complexed, small-minded sheeple. I have come across so many examples of people being hateful lately its really makes me angry.

And you won't like me when I'm angry.

I said that to a misbehaving Beebs the other day, and she laughed so hard she cackled. She laughed and I laughed and it's hard to be mad when you're laughing. You know what she didn't do? She didn't get all high and mighty and in my face about how I wasn't being sensitive about the color of the Hulk's skin or his giant body. Maybe he's aNgRy cause he's green and humungous...? Nah. I don't think that's his problem at all.

For some reason, discrimination topics have really been catching my attention lately. I don't know if its because there has been a higher instance of them lately, or what. Articles, Facebook posts, conversations. Even GH went through a 'sensitivity' course recently for his job that had more than its share of ridiculousness. *The examples I am posting have nothing to do with any particular group, it just so happens that these were three very different sources I wanted to use.

"A (random non-description human being of unspecified race, religion or sex) walks up to an African-American man and asks 'Do you know what Fo Shizzle means?'." In some way, shape or form, the correct answer ended up being: The A-A male gets offended that the other person would assume that they would know that definition just because they are A-A, and goes to their manager to complain. The A-A employee is then fully encouraged to take the issue to human resources and make a formal complaint, where it is then decided that the 'other person' should be reprimanded for racism and insensitivity and potentially lose their job.

If the 'other person' didn't know what 'fo shizzle' means, is it right to assume that they approached a black person thinking that they should know because they are black...?

An African-born teenage boy of caucasian descent enters a competition at school specifically for African-Americans. He wins. Chaos ensues. Should he be allowed to keep his award?

One of my favorite sayings ever (thank you Javonda): 'Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and they all stink'.

Word. And now, my man Morgan Freeman:

How are we going to get rid of racism? STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. Hallelujah! Of course, here I am talking about it. See the thing is, GH and I don't teach our kids that other races or religions are special just because they're a different race or religion than us. We're all f*cking special. They are learning that what makes a person good or bad or right or wrong or whatever is what is inside them. Where it should be. We teach them to be respectful, and when appropriate, to respectfully disagree. My kids won't grow up thinking they are entitled assholes that deserve anything they didn't work for, and you won't find them crying in the corner cause they think they have the right to be offended about something dumb.

The same goes for religion. Live and let live. If you don't believe in certain actions, then don't do them. But don't try and make the rest of the world conform to what you think they should or shouldn't do, either. It's amazing to witness such intolerance from some (notice I said some) of those whose beliefs dictate tolerance. Very recently I've seen this issue of insurance-covered birth control around. Should Catholic medical establishments be forced to offer their patients, whether Catholic or not, free birth control? Does every Catholic believe that birth control is wrong? I doubt it. Does every head of every Catholic medical establishment believe birth control is wrong? I doubt it. If you're Catholic and you don't believe in birth control, do you take birth control? Right. Ok then. Now, I'm not necessarily saying I want to be the one paying for all this free birth control, either. Maybe...if you want it, it should be made available to you, but you pay for it just like everything else in life.

Live and let live.

Let's take a tip from man's best friend...

Wait a minute...what's this about MAN'S best friend?!

I love my dog, but I think I'm gonna settle on this one.

After all, we all know what a girl's best friend is.

Speaking of dogs, I stumbled upon this horrific Facebook group a couple weeks ago...One Million Moms. Heard of it? These assholes are ASSHOLES. They are discrimination at its worst, breeding intolerance and hate. They petition to have 'particular issues' removed from whatever media outlet it shows up through, especially anything to do with gays, lesbian or transgender, gay marriage, gay rights, being gay, feeling gay, thinking about gay things, and otherwise general gayness.

Because this is clearly accurate:

This group of bigots proudly posts about how they got Whatever AAA Blah Blah Company to 'silently drop public support for the homosexual agenda', or get big sponsors to drop their support for gay pride events by threat of boycott. They what?! Maybe I'm gonna find out which companies pull their sponsoring and boycott their asses for being total jagoffs. One Million Assholes do much lesser damage too, like trying to prevent the Kardashians from having their own line of ~~hoochie~~ Barbie dolls...I certainly wouldn't buy my Beebs one, but the Kardashians are certainly welcome to their right to free enterprise. I don't give a shit whether they make them or not. To me, stuff like Barbie dolls or censorship bleeps during prime-time tv are really a waste of time and energy, but you can't attack the whole LGBT community and expect no repercussions.

You don't like it? Don't buy it, don't watch it, don't swallow the pills, don't drink the kool-aid, don't listen to it, don't smoke it, don't put it in your butt. If it hurts your eyes, don't look at it. See that guy down there on the right? I wish that was me.

Naturally, I have a solution for everything. We can all thank the Incredible Hulk for inspiring me on this one...let's just all be GREEN. Not Hulk green, cause that's not how to get people to get along, but good old environmentally friendly, healthy green. It's the new...green! If we all started worrying less about what everyone else is doing, and more about what WE are doing and how our actions impact others and our planet, wouldn't it be so much easier?! You betcha.

Dang, I'm good. Somebody should put me in charge.... somewhere.

Jack & Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of ...Red #40?? (JAK Version)

2012-02-24T07:25:00.007-06:00

For the past two months or so, every time I scold my son, make an unwelcome suggestion (clean your room?) or...speak pretty much anything out loud or breathe, he asks 'Who crapped in your cornflakes?'. Talk about beating a dead horse! AND...I don't even like cornflakes.

I've been spending some time at my kid's school helping out in classes, shortly after school starts in the morning. I've noticed a lot of 'behavior' that is puzzling to me. Given that these are 6-10 year old children I'm dealing with, expecting perfection is certainly unreasonable. Though, I find myself expecting much more than I am seeing...

I know there are a lot of legitimate cases of ADD/ADHD, but I also know that there are a lot more that could be helped by simple dietary changes and eliminating certain things from the home environment. As I was sitting there with a couple of kids, I started thinking...I wonder what these kids had for breakfast today...? I wonder how many of these kids eat crap at home...? How many had Froot Loops, Pop-Tarts, or something equally artificial and disgusting for breakfast...? How many brought a Lunchable today (or every day!), or drink Hi-C or Capri-Sun or some other 'juice'?

Is someone crapping in their cornflakes?

Just to clarify:
ADD: A term given to the condition of children, teenagers or adults when they show poor attention, impulsiveness or unexplained emotional outbursts in normal day to day activities.
ADHD: A term used to describe children, teenagers or adults who have low attention span, exhibit high levels of distractability, are chronically disorganized and are in “perpetual motion”.

According to one source, the average attention span of a child age 6-8 is 15-20 minutes, and age 9-12 is 30-45 minutes. Now, I am 37 years old and I doubt I have a 30-45 minute attention span. A more reasonable source says to add 2 minutes to a child's age, and start there.

Taking the above into consideration: 3 to 10% of school aged children get diagnosed as ADHD every year. That's a ton of kids! Most of them go on to be treated with drugs that have both minor and serious side effects, like loss of appetite, insomnia, mood swings, suicidal thoughts and psychotic behavior. Neither of my children have ADD or ADHD, so I haven't been in that position, but just thinking about what could possibly happen is frightening. I, as a parent, would certainly try everything in my power in order to avoid something that would cause these side effects, and if doing something as simple as dietary changes and natural cleaning products could significantly change my child's need for drugs, you better believe I would be ON IT.

Traits commonly observed with ADD/ADHD:
Inattention: easily distracted, can’t complete tasks, does not listen.
Impulsivity: acts without thinking, does not wait his turn, goes from activity to activity without organizing or completing anything.
Hyperactivity: can’t sit still, fidgety, bothers others, always on the go – “perpetual motion”.
Emotionally Unstable: social loner, angry outbursts for no reason, often involved in conflicts or fights, poor response to discipline.

A lot of people may not realize how significant of an impact that food ingredients and chemical exposure have on so many aspects of our lives! Food allergies don't just cause hives or rashes, but can cause behaviors that may fall under the heading of ADD/ADHD, as can exposure to things like bleach or ammonia. An average child consumes over 10 pounds of food additives per year. TEN POUNDS! Of toxins, chemicals, artificial ingredients and colors and preservatives and who knows what else. Crap. Garbage. Disgust-o-rama.

Here are some of the conditions that have possible links just to food dyes in particular:

Cancer, including brain tumors
Asthma and allergies
Behavior problems, ADD, ADHD
Decreased cognitive function and lowered IQ

How many products do you have in your home, that your children consume, that include food dyes?

I bet it's more than you think.

There have been studies upon studies done about this...I'm not just some radical fruitcake treehugger making stuff up. One recent study by the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics analyzed 15 other studies of the effect of artificial food colors and preservatives on hyperactivity, and found that 28% of the children (who had previously been diagnosed as ADHD) tested had increased hyperactivity after consuming artificial colors and preservatives. And that's just testing for those two items, not any of the other usual suspects. Another study took children who had NOT been diagnosed with anything and removed artificial colors and preservatives from their diets for 8 weeks. At the end of the 8 weeks, the children were given a juice beverage containing some combination of food colorings and sodium benzoate (a preservative). The results were clear in that the amount of artificial food colors and preservatives found in a typical child's diet is enough to trigger hyperactivity in many of those children.

Studies have also been done regarding chemical exposure. Typical household cleaning products contain a plethora of dangerous chemicals. But...they sell them at the grocery store, they must be safe. Right?! NO. Chemical companies don't care if they are making you sick. They get away with it legally for many reasons that would take me another whole blog to tell you about.

Here are some of the conditions that have possible links just to bleach and ammonia:

Cancer, neurological disorders, weakened immune system, autoimmune disorders
Asthma and allergies
Infertility and miscarriage
Behavior problems, ADD, ADHD, mental retardation
Decreased cognitive function and lowered IQ
Alteration of hormones, endocrine disruption

How many cleaning products do you have in your home that include bleach or ammonia, not to mention the hundreds of other toxic chemicals?!

I bet it's more than you think!

If your child shows signs of ADD/ADHD, there are a number of areas to address:
*Clearly, diet and nutrition: If you feed your kid sh*t, they're gonna act like sh*t. Cut out the processed foods, preservatives, artificial colors and flavors, even sugar-free/artificially sweetened items. Have your child tested for food allergies, including gluten. Consider nutritional supplements, especially Omegas.
*In relation to food and diet; bowel health: Get a ton more fiber into their diet, and definitely add a probiotic.
*Remove toxins from the home. Replace your cleaners with non-toxic choices. Choose better laundry detergents and fabric softeners. You and your children could be wearing chemical residue-laden clothing all day and sleeping in it (think about your sheets!) at night. You are absorbing chemicals into your skin. *Consider an air purifier.
*See if hypoglycemia is an issue.
*Eye and ear disorders and psychological wellness can also be investigated.

Naturally these solutions won't pertain to everyone. It's not going to be quite so simple for every child who has been diagnosed as ADD or ADHD to be 'fixed' by what I've discussed above, but how many does it pertain to?

I'm willing to bet...its more than you think.

There is help beyond drugs. A lot of doctors would have you believe that pharmaceuticals are the only option, but that is not the case at all. Nutrition, diet and environment should be examined and appropriate changes made before resorting to drugs whenever possible, especially if those three steps solve or relieve the problem. If a pharmaceutical is necessary, then it should be used in conjunction with other, natural solutions. Could you imagine finding out that you had been drugging your child for a perceived problem, only to find out that their breakfast cereal (among other things) was causing the problem?! Drug your child, so they can eat junk? I think not.

I have heard many people say they don't care about food additives or ingredients, or whether they use chemicals in their homes. I have seen a mom hand a kid a pill, then give them a can of soda and chips. What?! Noooooo! Its easy to make better choices!!

Come on, we know better than this. We can do better than this. Make healthy changes! Quit buying crappy cornflakes! Start caring about what goes into and onto your body and what you bring into your home! Your children (and their teachers!) will thank you!!

Interested in reading more about some of the studies I mentioned above? Just aren't taking my word for it?! Check it out, I did all the work. You just have to click. See how helpful I am?!

Amazon.com Widgets

B*tches Gotta Eat

2012-02-23T12:39:00.001-06:00

So I've been pretty good in the food department lately, really trying to be healthy and make good choices (per my commitment in this previous blog). Yeah, I been working out too, thanks for asking. You don't get to look like this by doin' nothin' *wink wink*.

One of my sweet-ass girls started a Facebook group where some of us can go to post about what we're eating, what we're hopefully NOT eating, suggestions, tips, blah blah blah. There have been some pretty damn good recipes posted lately, of which I've tried quite a few. I've vegetarianized, if not completely veganized, the recipes to stick with my own program, but you certainly don't have to. They're all low-fat, good for you food that actually tastes good. Amazing, no?

I figured I would post them for you-all who may also be on the healthy-eating bandwagon, are sick of salads, and think vegan is another word for tofu.

Here you go, skinny bitches:

I veeged this one. Veeged is a new word, by the way. I made it up just now. It's short for veganized, which is clearly way too long.

Point is, I used veggie broth (I used the whole 32 oz carton, which was 4 C instead of only 2 C., then 2 C of water instead of 4. Yeah, it's good). I didn't use the cheese or cheese rind, though I'm sure it would have made it even more of a smashing success. I did use semolina pasta, though at least it was organic.

This soup is da bombdiggity. My 6 year old totally loves it. Plus, any food that gives the kids gas is ok in their books...if it makes them fart, they're in. Moving on.

Unless you really love the crap out of oatmeal, I would recommend cutting this recipe in half. It makes a TON. I changed mine up a little bit (surprise surprise) due to what I had on hand, and I also found that it needed a little more agave than called for in the recipe. Very good, very filling, very kid-friendly!

This next one comes from Hungry Girl, and is the shiznit. Kids LOVE this stuff. It can totally be veeged but you've got to micromanage your enchilada sauce. Vegetable broth, tofu if you want it, and obviously no chicken. The recipe posted as-is is VERY good and very low fat, but it's up to you what you want to do. Except enjoy it...that's not an option. YOU WILL ENJOY IT.

Isn't it pretty? Find it HERE. And while you're there, check out her other recipes, she's got some good stuff!

Coming up next...

I made myself a cute little version of this for lunch the other day, and oh me oh my...it was deeelish. I posted this recipe cause it was my inspiration, though mine was not nearly as involved. I had a bag of frozen sweet potato cubes, which I boiled into thaw-ness. I sauteed half an onion in coconut oil till it was lovely, threw in the sweet potatoes, grabbed a jar of roasted red peppers and cut a few into chunks and threw that in. Wrapped it all up in a couple of sprouted-grain tortillas from Ezekiel, and man was I impressed with myself. You can be too! Either with me, or yourself, whatever floats your boat.

I may be posting more of these types of recipes, so keep an eye out. And if you've got any you'd like to see in a blog, send them along! I'll even give you hungry b*tches the cred. Just like being a celebrity.

Till next time, love yous!!

Three. 3. Trois. Tres. Part 3: The Third Part. Beginning of the End.

2012-01-20T11:09:00.000-06:00

I wish I would have saved the little thumbnail pic that came with the listing of this house. Sitting in the van, across the street from this house, alternately looking from the listing in my lap to the actual house across the street, trying to figure out where we made a wrong turn. Cause this couldn't possibly be the place, because this... this was straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

It was fall, sometime in October. The leaves were changing, there was a chill in the air and that general festive feeling of anticipation that fall always brings. The white farmhouse across the street had painted shutters and a front porch with white columns on brick pillars, a big red brick chimney on one side. The yard was loaded with trees...the leaves of the maples were positively gold and they were falling like snow. There was an older man in the yard raking these golden leaves into piles. Smoke billowed out of the chimney and the smell of wood fire was in the air. Surreal.

The man notices us sitting in our minivan gaping, and immediately drops his rake and comes striding towards us. One of us undoubtedly said 'oh shit let's get out of here, quick', but the man was already at the window, smiling and knocking and asking if we'd like to come and see the house. Whaaaa? Really?! He was friendly and inviting to the point where I started to feel suspicious. I know it's lame, but it must be some sort of conditioned response. That's my only explanation.

The man ushers in the back door, calling for his wife. I am immediately struck by the charm and originality of this old house, the back porch, the laundry room with one of those white farmhouse sinks, flowers painted on the cabinets, and the smell of apple pie in the air. Sunny, cozy, wonderful. This cute little grey-haired woman appears in the doorway with an apron and oven mitts on and tells us to come on in, she just has to take a pie out of the oven and it will just take a minute, and would we like some cider?

A pie? Cider? For real? Who are these people?!

The couple gave us a tour and told us all about the house and their family and the area, and charming, charming, charming, blah blah blah. Since the house turned out to be over a hundred years old, I (sort of) jokingly asked the woman if they had a resident ghost. She quickly turned around to me, smile fading, and responded with 'Maybe. Why do you ask?'. Whoa, ok. Just making conversation, ma'am.

We spent at least an hour with these kind people, drinking their cider and breathing their pie-scented air. There was a big garden out back, a chicken coop, raspberry bushes and apple and pear trees. I started thinking about a compost pile and canning vegetables, backyard chickens and organic eggs. It was so idyllic, just absolutely picture perfect. The antique furniture, hardwood floors, wood burning stove complete with shaggy dog laying in front. The acre of land, underground spring and gigantic ancient trees. The wallpaper and paint techniques and throw rugs and lacy curtains. It was a Victorian farmhouse and it was perfect. We wanted it. The house and everything about it...we were in love. Me, who insisted that anything across the state line was a waste of time and a joke...yep, I was sold.

As soon as we got in the car we started talking about it. There was a feeling the house had, and we both felt it immediately. The house wanted us, too. When we left there we continued looking around the area, pulling up in front of different houses I had listings for and I would immediately compare them in my head to this place. There was never any comparison, none of the other houses could hold a candle to this one.

On the way home we talked about everything we had seen, and Steve mentioned my question about ghosts, and the woman's reaction. We both kind of WTF'd for a few minutes, then, with eyes all big and round, he very seriously suggested 'maybe they were the ghosts'. Good lord. We just spent an hour in the Twilight Zone.

And with that, we went home and started to formulate a plan.

When I'm Skinny, You Can Call Me Bitch.

2012-01-16T11:14:00.000-06:00

When you go to a Tony Robbins seminar, part of what you learn is about nutrition and how different foods affect your body, mind, and overall well-being, and how important the acid/alkaline balance is. At the end he asks you to commit to a 10-day cleanse. I did the seminar, committed to the cleanse, and hung on full blast for almost two months.

The cleanse is basically being vegan, but at the same time being very alkaline. This really limits what you can eat. (In a nutshell, all foods are either more acid or more alkaline, and you want to be more alkaline. It has to do with the pH balance of your body and how your body holds onto fat and stuff and blah blah blah. I lost 8 lbs in about 3 weeks. Sign up for this website and download a list of foods here. It's super-dee handy.)

Basically, this cleanse entails: no dairy, no meat, no animal products of any kind, nothing processed, no white sugar or flour, nothing fermented (so no vinegar or alcohol). I know I'm missing something. Oh, nothing canned. No smoking, no stimulants of any kind including caffeine. No fruit juices unless you squeeze those bitches yourself. Sounds like goddam torture, doesn't it?! Yaaaa, baby.

It's f*cking hard. It's one of the most disciplined things I've ever done in my life. But it's awesome. You spend the first week drying out, which sucks, but after that it is almost addictive. What's pulling me back right now is the weight loss, and it's healthy weight loss, not all stress your heart and your hair falls out weight loss. Your skin - glowing. Your period - practically nothing. Your attitude (after the first week) - f*cking righteous!! I've never felt better.

Tony Robbins is a slick muthaf*cka.

But naturally it was really hard to stick to 100%, so little by little I started re-incorporating foods back into my diet. For a while I was straight vegan, and now I eat meat again. I love coffee and I'm a bit of a boozer, but I still don't do much dairy. I avoid the 'whites' and only use agave syrup or turbinado (or other natural) sugar. Oh, and I try to avoid using the microwave, as it 'kills' your food. Yes, it's true, shutup.

Recent conversations and blogs I've read (I Want a Dumpster Baby) have gotten my wheels turning about this again.

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I used to workout like a fiend, then I sprained a couple things and it all went downhill. It's so hard to go back to working out after you've been off it for so long, isn't it? I felt so good when I worked out, and I know I would again, but it's just the pain and suffering of starting that is holding my lazy ass back. And I'm suffering for it too, I'm carrying some extra weight that I am NOT proud of or happy about whatsoever.

But starting a new workout plan and doing a vegan cleanse hold the same intimidation factor for me. Once I get going I know I'll be fine, but it's just those first rotten steps that f*cking slay me. I need to be held accountable. I need Tony Robbins to come over here and light a fire under my ass. I need to be bossed around. I need to be held accountable.

So, I'm calling in reinforcements.
O'mayra, vacation is OVER and the chocolate fountain should be in (temporary) retirement.
Sam, I know you're starting too. But will you hold my hand and pee on me if I get stung by a jellyfish?
Libby, get your bossy ass in gear and don't let me get away with shit!
IT'S ON, BITCHES!!

You want to join us? Everyone needs at least one accountability partner. I'll be yours, if you'll be mine too. If you've got questions about acceptable foods or how Cinch products can help you keep your sanity, let me know. Pick up Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin (it's in the Amazon bar at left) and check out the acid/alkaline site I posted above. We all need support and someone to talk us down off the chocolate-coated ledge. If you see me slacking, well, you know what to do. This is an open invitation to kick my ass. With the risk of sounding all lame and rah-rah-sis-boom-bah - it's time to let go of what's comfortable. If I can firewalk, I can do this. You too. Let's do it.

P.S. I highly recommend the Tony Robbins UPW Seminar. If you've ever had a single problem in your entire life, it's for you. It's pricey, but if you wait long enough the tickets go on sale 2 for 1. It's worth every penny. Plus, you gotta love a guy who loves Shaklee.

You read blog. Right meow!

2012-01-13T12:15:00.000-06:00

My 10-year old hasn't been...performing...as well as he should be and we think we figured out that it's because he is sleep deprived. He has so much trouble falling asleep at night and naturally gets in lot of trouble for it, but I think the worst thing is seeing what a zombie he is in the morning. It is heart-wrenching to see this little boy so tired.

It's been going on since probably the beginning of last school year. His grades have suffered, his sports performance has suffered, his concentration and behavior has suffered. We've suffered.

At the most recent parent-teacher conferences, his teacher suggested that if his concentration doesn't improve that our next conference will be a very different conversation. He's never had attention issues before, and a lot of the issues he had last school year I attributed to his and his teacher's personalities not quite jiving. But to hear that come out of the mouth of a professional, and that professional be talking about YOUR kid, well needless to say, it's alarming.

It was around the same time that I realized that his sleep situation could really be contributing to what is going on at school. Yeah, sometimes I'm a little slow on the uptake. Whatever, nobody's perfect. The pediatrician suggested I try giving him Melatonin about an hour before bedtime. Good idea. Shaklee has a product called Gentle Sleep Complex and I already owned it, so we gave it a try. Instead of being straight-up Melatonin, which has possibility of side effects and can only be used short-term, it's a combination of herbs that is good and effective. I've used it...no hangover. It's been working ok so far, though I did just up the dose a little cause he was still having some trouble falling asleep.

The other night I handed him the two tablets and went to get a glass of water. In the time it took for me to get that water, apparently quite a bit of the scent of the tablets had rubbed off on his hand. As soon as he took the tablets, he then proceeded to wipe his hand on his pants, down the length of his thigh.

You'd think somebody opened a can of crazy-ass cat wack-a-doo. Our girly-cat, let's call her Black Betty for privacy reasons - she's shy with strangers, flipped out on the boy and started biting his pants and his hand that held the tablets. She freaked out enough to scare the boy off the sofa to where he cowered by my side, laughing, and from there we watched Black Betty chase invisible flies, roll around, and finally fall off the couch head first.

At this point we were on the floor and in animal territory. Black Betty's bro, Bam-a-lam-a-lam or Big 'un for short, came sauntering up all casual-like and took a couple sniffs. Now, Big 'un isn't quite as theatrical as Black Betty is - he is a big, simple, giant, gentle clown and he's got a real fat ass. No seriously, he weighed more than my daughter until last spring, and she's 6. Big 'un also made a beeline for the boy's hand/leg area, which tipped us off to the fact that these Gentle Sleep tablets must have something in them the cats wig out over. The boy ran for the bottle, opened it, and stuck it under the cat's nose. This action was immediately rewarded by the cat trying to grab the bottle with his teeth and run off, and when he quickly realized that wasn't going to happen he got all sexy on us, rolling over onto his back and open-mouth purring.

Which was a little weird.

I've seen cats on catnip before, and the following is the closest behavior I've ever seen. At our first apartment, hubby and I had two cats and a corked bottle of catnip. During the night one night, these cats got the bottle down and chewed the cork to smithereens, spilling the catnip all over the damn place. I found it in the morning, and having to rush out the door to work, I merely scooped up what I could of the catnip pile and threw it in the sink on my way out the door. Most of this pile landed in a bowl of water, in the sink. This bowl of catnippy goodness steeped and brewed all day long, with kitties 1 & 2 sipping from it at will for hours on end. By the time I got home that night, they were wasted. I've never seen cats act that way. We've all heard the term 'bouncing off walls', but this was NUTS. Running from the floor, up the wall, then back down onto the floor all Matrix-style, attacking each other and our feet, and anything else that seemed mildly threatening - or not threatening enough, basically freaking out in the most entertaining yet slightly disturbing way.

The Gentle Sleep/Valerian Root affected them so differently than your typical catnip high. I guess the ingredient in it that cats wig out over is Valerian Root. Some cats don't like it, some do, just like catnip. And just like catnip, they kinda freak out over it. Black Betty and Bam-a-lam-a-lam have had catnip before and they've gotten a little nutty and aggressive, but I think Gentle Sleep Complex is the new catnip over here. The boy did us an accidental favor that night and lost the cap to the bottle (one of the cats grabbed it and ran off and is probably humping it as I type), so the tablets got all weird after being exposed to the air all night. I'll be buying a new bottle soon, and the weird exposed tablets will be going into a sock for my friends to play with. I mean, they are here to entertain us. Have to earn their keep and all...

Good times ahead!!

Part Deux: The Beginning of the End

2012-01-12T10:29:00.000-06:00

Ok so it's NOT the end. The End: Part 2? Yeah, not really, huh. It was the first thing that popped in my head...picking names for blogs isn't always easy, you know.

You ever have something really f*cking shitty happen and just blocked the whole damn thing out? Its like the story of my life. I don't like it - I get out my little brain eraser and ta da, it's gone. That's pretty much what I've done regarding most of my reproductive history, among other things. I'm hazy on the details, real hazy. Family members or other people close to me probably have a better memory of the situations than I do. I start confusing miscarriage #3 with #5, though I know for sure that 6 & 7 happened after we moved... blah blah blah. So if anything comes across as a little confusing - details, timelines - just...ignore it and carry on.

After #5, as mentioned in part one of this blog, I was feeling a little...let's say...distraught. Ok, if I'm going to be perfectly honest I might as well say that I turned into a basket case nutjob, among other things. If you know me, or if you don't, feel free to throw some words out there. They probably fit.

One thing that happened to me at that point was that I developed a desperate need to get the hell away from everyone and everything I knew, the BBrook house it happened in, the people who knew about it, etc etc. It was really very hard to face my friends and neighbors who knew what happened. Sometimes I was pregnant at the same time as one of them, and they went on to have their baby. Sometimes all it took was 'that look', whether the person knew they were doing it or not. Sometimes it was things that were said that were well-meaning, but to me were like nails on a chalkboard. It was just too much. Not to sound ungrateful for the support I got, because I certainly am, but sometimes you just have to step away.

So when my husband mentioned the possibility of finding a house closer to his job, I jumped on it. That may be a bit of an understatement. I got f*cking OBSESSED with it. I was on realtor.com a couple hours every day. Then one day the word 'Wisconsin' entered the conversations. Co-workers of my husband's suggested it and I promptly I laughed it off. Well, who's laughing now?

Just to humor him I checked out the area on my new favorite website, and couldn't believe the houses I found. I've always loved old, quirky houses and there seemed to be quite the abundance in the area I searched! Our house at the time was brand new, we built it, and it's in a neighborhood of all brand-new homes. Beautiful, and big (oh GOD what a kitchen!), but like I said, I've always loved old houses. Or anything old, for that matter. So when I ran across this house and spied this horrendous little thumbnail and read the description of this ramshackle antique, I of course was intrigued. The price! The age! The YARD!! Oh, the taxes...after taxes in the Brook this was nothing short of stupendous! miraculous! staggering! DY-no-MITE!! I printed out the listing along with quite a few others and four passengers set sail that day...

Let me mention that at this point I was still 100% opposed to Wisconsin, and looking at listings and making plans to go for a drive up there was basically humoring good old Steve as far as I was concerned. Plus, I was curious, I admit it. I wanted to see what it looked like around here. Yeah, so what?

Now, the description of the house absolutely rocked, but the pic was for shit. Anyone who has ever looked at houses on the internet knows how that goes, realtors make a shack sound Disneyland, but those tell-all (I loathe that phrase, tell-all) pics can't lie. So in my mind picking this particular listing was a tiny little joke I was playing on my husband. I thought I would show him that the great shiny state of Wisconsin (say this to yourself like a sassy 6 year old girl would) didn't have CRAP.

It was the first house on the list of drive-bys. We drove the hour or so it took to get over the state line, spent another half hour locating the house (I never thought I'd get used to this numbered street/avenue system), saw the sign in the yard and pulled up in front.

THE END.

Kidding, kidding. To be continued...

Armageddon Preparedness - Are YOU Ready?

2012-01-11T14:33:00.000-06:00

This is really one part blog, two parts book review. Or maybe it's two parts blog, one part book review....regardless...it's the product of a late night up reading and way too much coffee the next morning.

After this very mild and practically snowless winter, the news report finally came in...we're about to get some snow. They project 4-6 inches for this area, which is an area been made snow-pro by 2' snowfalls each of the last couple years. No worries, we got this. It's old hat. This is the upper Midwest, muthaf*ckas!!

But amazingly, so many people really don't got this. We all know how everyone just forgets how to drive when it snows a couple inches. Right now I'm (supposed to be) getting ready to head to the grocery store to stock up on whatever so I don't have to go out tomorrow or the next day, I guess, and I have no doubt that everyone and their mother's uncle is going to be at the store doing the same. It's not that the roads won't be plowed tomorrow or the next day, not that even if they weren't we couldn't hop on one of our 3 snowmobiles in an emergency, not that 4-6 inches of snow is cause for alarm, or we could probably get there just find if the roads weren't plowed at all. It's just a completely natural, even if it is unwarranted, reaction in people. People freak out. Whatevs. Carry on. *shrug*

Ever heard of the book Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer? My son got it in his stocking this Christmas, and as it goes I just happened to read the description and thought it sounded very interesting. So the other night I started reading. Now, this is a young-adult level book, an easy read for me. I cracked it open at about 10pm and I swear I couldn't put the damn thing down until 3am when I closed the book on the last page.

I. Was. Riveted.

I've read some of my 10-year old son's books before, and some of them have been f-reak-ing awesome (hello, Hunger Games!), but this...this stuck with me in the most disturbing way. Basically, the premise of the story is that an asteroid hits the moon and pushes it closer to Earth, causing absolute chaos, destruction, and loss of life. There's no power, no food, no running water. The survivors have to live on their wits and what little food they get. The innovation of people having never experienced a survival situation is another aspect that just fascinated me. It really gets you thinking. What the f*ck would we do if shit hit the fan?

The story is told in a diary format, and the writer is a 16-year old girl, so everything that happens is from her point of view. It would certainly be interesting enough in an adult-narrated version, but told from the perspective of someone with practically no experience in the real world is really a huge part of what makes this book as amazing as it is. Kind of like Room by Emma Donoghue...the story would be great otherwise, but the fact that it is told from the perspective of a 5 year old child makes it amazing.

The morning after I read Life As We Knew It, the moon was very apparent in the sky. Like some kind of freak, I couldn't take my eyes off it. The wheels started turning... I start thinking about stockpiling food, water and vitamins, and what would we have to do in case there was no electricity or water, and OMG do we need to arm ourselves?! I was having bonafied anxiety about how unprepared we are in case TheEndOfTheWorld happens! We are so dependent on all our creature comforts...what would happen if we were suddenly without? How would we all cope?!

I'm better now, really I am, and I don't really think the world is going to end or that the Mayan calendar is truly a prediction of any kind. I'm not paranoid or a conspiracy theorist or a survivalist or any other kind of weirdo. Well...not much anyway, and I sure do like their books and movies! Though I suppose it might not hurt to stock up on some canned goods, and maybe some liquor for bartering...

But seriously I do have to recommend this book to everyone, even chose it for my local book club selection even though it's a little below our reading levels. I mean, who cares? A good story is a good story, and when you find one that leaves such an impression on you, you have to share it!

If you want to check out any of the books I've mentioned, I was so thoughtful as to put them in the cute little Amazon box down at the bottom. Handy!

This blog has been brought to you by solar power and rainwater.

And BPA-free canned food, I guess.

The Beginning of the End

2012-01-10T12:14:00.001-06:00

'It' hasn't actually ended yet. What is 'it'? My life, as it is now. Read on.

It's been quite a few weeks since my last blog. All the holiday frivolity and busyness takes up a lot of time, dontcha think? Even if I wanted to blog (of course I wanted to blog) I was too occupied to hold on to, let alone nurture, a coherent thought that had nothing to do with wrapping paper or red and green sprinkles.

So now that I'm here, sitting in front of the Christmas tree I haven't taken down yet, I'm not really sure what to blog about. I mean, there are a gazillion subjects I could easily write about, but trying to add that personal twist in is always a challenge. I decided its finally time to come clean and describe how I came to be...well...me. How did I get all chemical-paranoid and organically-freaky? Inquiring minds want to know, right? I'm hoping so. This is the first part of an undetermined series of blogs, maybe 2 or 3. We'll see.

Part I

This is essentially what we call in Shaklee 'My Two-Minute Story'. When we do a presentation we start out with how we were introduced to healthy living and/or Shaklee products, etc etc. This is more or less the story I tell. It's true, by the way. And it's probably not very funny.

A couple years ago, at about 15 weeks, I had my 5th miscarriage. When I came home from the hospital I was an absolute mess. Besides being physically messed up, I was an emotional wreck. I had the usual post-tragedy questions...why me? Why again? What is wrong with me? Why can't anyone give me any answers? WHAT the F*CK?

When you're in the state of mind that I was, you'll desperately search everywhere and anywhere for some closure. So when your doctor doesn't know the answers, where do you turn? The all-knowing internet, of course. I did search after search, looking for information, looking for an answer, finding tons of information and answers that didn't apply to me. Everyone else HAD an answer, but for me there was none. I sat at my computer and cried. Like...Every. Day. I was told 'try not to think about it', or 'it was meant to be', and no matter how well meaning those words are, they don't help. At all.

One day one of my searches brought me to a website I still frequent - www.ewg.org. It's the Environmental Working Group website, and it is just chock full of informational goodness about everything that has to do with health and environment and chemicals and their effects on your body and the planet and everything else you can possibly think of. They even have a sister website - Skin Deep Cosmetics Database - where you can look up your existing products and find out just how bad they really are. I read. And I read. I followed links, searched searches, keyed words. And I learned SO MUCH. I've blogged about a lot of what I learned, and am still learning every day, and if I talk to you in person there's no doubt that you've heard it from me over and over again. I like to beat dead horses, okay? If I was to start telling you the things that can happen to your body from the products that you use in your home and on your body, we would be here for DAYS. The chemicals we are exposed to in our daily lives have such a huge impact on our health and our bodies in ways that may never even occur to us!

Of course fertility is one of them.

That first day I learned that one of the biggest offenders is household cleaning products. We are in our homes more than anywhere else, and that is where the majority of our exposure comes from. We breathe the air, wear the clothes, sleep on the sheets, eat off the dishes. Within a day or two I had all of our toxic cleaners boxed up and stuffed in a corner of the garage. I went to the store and replaced them with non-chlorine bleach, laundry detergent without certain ingredients, and $5 bottles of all-purpose cleaner. It was all shiny and new, and I was ok with it for a while even though it wasn't the most effective stuff in the world. But I was dedicated, so I stuck with it.

Then I learned about body products, too. Chemical-filled shampoos and soaps and lotions, oh my! Our skin is the largest organ we have, and it's absorbent. So when we slather it with chemicals (or sit in a bathtub that was cleaned with toxic chemicals!), those chemicals all get absorbed into us.

WTF are they doing in there? Nothing but trouble.

I dumped all our Herbal Essences and Bath and Body Works and Zest and Lever into a bag and went shopping again and replaced all those items with 'all-natural' options. I had been having a major skin issue around that time too, and every time I would shampoo my hair, the skin on my shoulders would absolutely be ON FIRE. When I switched to the natural, non-perfumed, non-chemical stuff, the burning subsided. Of course, that is a whole different blog you can look forward to about Candida. (Just check out this list of symptoms! Candida is horrendous. Contact me for help on this one.)

Is chemical exposure responsible for my miscarriages? Who knows. I'm sure it could never be proven that that is specifically what caused them. All the chlorine bleach, optical brighteners, preservatives, synthetic scents, and everything else I've been exposed to my whole life... could I have come out completely unscathed? I doubt any of us have. Maybe that's why today's cancer rate is 1 in 2. Ya think?

I can't say that de-chemicalizing our lives has made a huge difference for ME, but I'm hoping that by keeping their chemical exposure as minimal as is possible, that MY children don't have to go through what I have had to. That MY daughter doesn't have to deal with the heartbreak of losing baby after baby. That MY son doesn't get cancer or a brain tumor or Parkinson's disease. Considering the rate of exposure we all deal with from every direction, the least I can do is make sure they get as little as possible at home. We are CONSTANTLY inundated with toxins in every shape and form...(don't even get me started on food!) And if we have the choice we shouldn't have to live with them too.

This is MY choice, and it is this knowledge and these experiences that have made me who I am today.

To be continued...

This Winter Layer Ain't Cashmere

2011-12-06T11:00:00.000-06:00

Brought out your fat pants yet? I have. I'm having a real problem, not just in the wardrobe department, but with food. It just tastes so damn GOOD. Thanksgiving through New Year's should just be called Food Season. I even insisted we go with the shorter, wider Christmas tree this year just so I can stand next to it and look lithe and wonderful. Ha! Hopeless, I know.

I also fell off the workout wagon. A couple months ago I sprained my right ankle, then a couple weeks later I sprained my right big toe pretty badly. Then of course there was the big blistery burn I got when I dropped boiling spaghetti sauce on my right foot, and the possible fracture I sustained when I tried to catch a full *glass* jar of peanut butter with my right foot. Toes don't like being smashed like that...they're still talking about it. Sorry, right foot. I didn't mean it.

It was easy to justify not working out when I couldn't do half the workouts in my classes, but despite my foot's propensity for injury, I haven't gone back now that I'm pretty much healed and fully capable. At this point it is just laziness, though the couple of pounds I've put on isn't motivating me to go out in public in stretchy pants, either.

This time of year there is some magical, mystical force that forces us to shove food down our throats when it isn't physiologically necessary. I have succumbed to the force...even joined the Dark Side. We're putting on our winter layer. No, truly, we are putting on a winter layer of fat as insulation, to acclimatize our bodies. Your body wants you to gain weight. It's for real science, dude. Hormone regulation and fat storage are way different in winter than in spring or summer. Your body's production of Leptin gets all screwed and your body thinks its starving. I know, right?! WTF! So your body produces appetite stimulating hormones so you eat more.

Its a goddam biological conspiracy!

I'm not saying this weight gain is healthy for us, no no. Let's not get carried away. I'm just giving an excuse for the lapses in judgement we suffer when standing in front of a table full of luscious, ooey gooey chocolately fruity frosted cream filled desserts. Science.

With all the holiday gatherings going on, it's easy to load up on all the appetizers, booze, rich foods, booze, desserts, boozy desserts, dessert-y booze... and it's adding up. FAST. What's a fatty to do?!

My big idea is to eat healthier at home between all the parties. I tried not eating at all and ended up binging at the end of the day, so I scratched that plan. Of course working out at least a little bit would help compensate for the 7,000 (so I heard!) calories I consumed at Thanksgiving, and in leftovers every day thereafter for at least 4 days. Yesterday at the grocery store I bought the monster pack of salad for $5, hoping the price would inspire me not to let it rot in the produce drawer of my fridge. We'll have to see about that.

I'm so not going to get all preachy on you and say this is the perfect time to start some insane workout program, but if you're suffering like I am, here's a couple things to think about doing for damage control:

1. Lighten the f*ck up. Stress is one of the biggest factors in weight gain. Need some help? STRESS RELIEF. It works. I take it A LOT. Also, levels of seratonin drop in the winter, causing you to experience all kinds of bullshit. Try some Vitamin D!

2. Take only cash to the grocery store. This will (hopefully) force you to forego the junky empty calorie snack foods which tend to be kind of pricey. *Disclaimer: Do NOT go to the store with 400 bucks in your pocket.

3. Go walk around the block. Just once.

4. If you're at a ~~food~~ holiday party, have your steak or other main protein course, but go waaaay light on the creamy side dishes. Load up on the cleanest-looking vegetables on the table. And eat them first. The veggies will take up some valuable real estate in your stomach and keep you from overeating the bad stuff.

5. Last but not least, when you're out shopping and get hungry do NOT swing into the nearest fat food joint. Throw a protein meal bar or snack bar and a bottle of water in your purse. It's enough to hold you over till you can get home and eat some of that $5 salad.

Don't forget...stuff like B vitamins regulate your blood sugar and keep cravings down and energy up. My suggestion is to take two every morning. If you like hot or cold tea, try this...a little caffeine + hunger suppressant = happiness.

Now go get 'em, tigers!

In-Flu...a diet??

2011-11-03T11:12:00.001-05:00

I had food poisoning a couple weeks ago, after eating some apparently toxic pizza. It was not a pleasant experience, of which I am sure many of you are aware. As I was laying on the bathroom floor, freezing cold and sweating buckets, I had this crazy thought: 'This sucks but at least I'll lose a couple pounds and wake up with a flat stomach'.

Call it sick-brain talking. Call it delusional. Call it whatever you want, but don't deny that you haven't thought it yourself. I'm actually pretty impressed that I was lucid enough to have purposely thought that little bit of genius.

Now that cold and flu season are imminent, people are rushing out all over the place to get shot up with the flu du jour, getting stocked on medicines and fluids and all. Getting flu shots is totally a personal preference, and though I can site a zillion articles about why flu shots are bad, it's my opinion and a touchy subject and I really don't feel like getting into it. My family doesn't get them. Period.

Naturally (no pun intended) we do other things like diet, supplement, exercise, etc. to make sure we have healthy immune systems and when something does come our way we fight it and treat it, and drink our Performance (Shaklee's version of Gatorade), let it run its course, and if anything were to get out of hand there's the urgent care department at the docs office. We eat good and take our vitamins and probiotics like good little anti-flu shot folks, but no matter what we do, germs will continue to float around like crazy. Especially for those with kids in school with their sticky hands all touching everything all the time, precautions must be taken. Hand washing is obviously important, using tissues and your coughing corner, cleaning and disinfecting your surfaces constantly (and safely!), etc. etc. More common sense stuff that everyone knows. Or should know. If you don't, you've got problems.

Considering the candy-binge holiday that is in our very recent history, let me tell you a little tidbit about sugar and your immune system. They don't get along. You know how people say Vitamin C helps when you have a cold or flu cause it boosts your immune system? Then they reach for the orange juice and all their problems are solved, right? Wrong. Vitamin C is good, yes. But do me a favor and stay away from fruit juices. Why? Cause sugar puts your immune system right to sleep. There have been studies done, so I'm not just making this up, specifically with orange juice, that prove this. So just do yourself a favor and skip the juice, try a Vitamin C supplement and call it a day.

No matter what precautions we take, there is still always the chance that we can (will) contract the flu and spend a minimum of 24 hours barfing and shitting our guts out, not eating anything, laying in bed sweating and being gross and stinky and feeling like poo.

But honestly...how many of you have had the thought that if your kids DO bring home the flu (again) this year and you spend a couple days taking care of them and ultimately yourself doing the above mentioned activities...at least you'll lose a couple pounds?!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any saying that you should purposely go out and get yourself on the flu-diet. That's just dumb. But let's look at the bright side. Hey, there's always a bright side! There's always an honest side too, so don't try and tell me that its a crazy thought that you'd never even consider. You know you've thought it.

So good luck, ya'll. Yeah, I said ya'll. Whether you get the flu this year or you dodge the bullet, whether you get it or just don't...take care of yourselves!! And if you want a REAL weight loss program, let me know!

Blowing Hot Air

2011-10-20T14:50:00.000-05:00

It's in the upper 40's, windy, very fallish. In fact, it's cold. Now, now, don't get all 'Are you kidding, just wait' on me, I've lived through 36 upper-midwest winters and I know what the real deal is. But don't try to tell me that when your alarm goes off in the morning, in the dark, that it's anything close to easy to get out of your nice, warm, snuggly bed.
It's cold, ain' it? You get the point.

Our heat is currently set to kick on at 62 degrees. That's not a typo, let me repeat...sixty-two degrees. YA, we're cheap. That's all it comes down to. But don't be alarmed, we handle it very well.

We've got this great wood-burning stove and a large supply of firewood (these trees just drop dead at our feet!), so we've got the stove fired up quite a bit. Along with the electric blanket and down comforters, we're good. In fact, when I go to other people's houses who are all 'nothing lower than a perfectly temperature controlled 72 degrees all year long', I absolutely die. I'm sweating. Hey look, that's me!

All this cold weather is actually VERY good for family togetherness. Dog and cats, too. Everybody piles on.

The other night, I woke up to use the bathroom and found myself so sweat-soaked I started to fear early menopause. I returned to bed and laid down between my two little people, under the heated blanked, dog between my legs, and landlocked into not being able to expose my feet. My feet are my thermostats, you see. So when my shorties revolt and insist on bracketing me at night, my poor feet are trapped and the resulting overheating of this body is nothing short of a hazard. How it is that I haven't shorted out that electric blanket with my hot body by now is a mystery. Oh...and I sweat a lot, too.

The point is....wait, what is the point?

Do I tell you all the things you can do to conserve energy? Turn down the thermostat at night, turn it down when you're at work, turn it down in general...? Use weatherstripping, patch holes, get better insulation. Make your home more energy efficient! Well duh, this stuff is pretty common knowledge, kind of like turning off a light when you leave a room. You don't need me to tell you this stuff.

Do we discuss how to keep your kids out of your bed? Honestly I don't mind it that much as long as it's not all the time, nor do I as a parent really know how. When the kids have a nightmare and come running in at 2 am, I feel bad for them that they're scared, but I also relish the snuggling and comforting and bonding. As long as I can keep my feet liberated, that is.

So what do I prattle on about? How about togetherness. That's not a question. What better way to inspire some snuggling than to turn down the thermostat and break out the blankets? This certainly isn't a new concept, though it may be one that people don't typically think of. Hmmm...snuggling and a lower electric bill? Something for everyone! Let's put that in the warm fuzzies category, right next to 'How many babies are born 9 months after cold weather sets in?'.

There you have it people, more words of wisdom from your green friend. Now go turn down the thermostat, get out the hot cocoa, get your blankie and a good movie and snuggle with the kids, then put them to bed. Then snuggle with the spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever you want to snuggle with and turn yourself into something right out of a Donna Summer song. Who needs heat when you've got each other!!

(Fund)Raising Active Kids - JAK Version

2011-10-20T14:39:00.000-05:00

Using just my first as the example,I had myself convinced that kids are no big deal in the financialdepartment. Here's a bit about how I fooled myself:

Making babies the traditional way is free. Hallelujah. Might have been down a bit for a bottle of wine and a nice dinner, but whatevs. Insurance paid for most of the doctor visits, hospital stay, etc. We were out a couple hundred bucks.

Cutie maternity clothes...I spent a bit. Had to be a fashionable preggie, right?

Baby shower. Everything you could possibly need to feed, clothe, and care for a baby, except the elusive instruction manual of course... all at one happy party. Cha-ching. Thanks, everyone!

Bring baby home. Diapers, wipes, cream for their little tushies. Let's say $25 at Jewel. Nursed the baby for quite some time and saved a bundle on formula.

Picked out some clothes and stuff that I just had to have...couple hundred bucks.

Considering we just had a kid, thisdoesn't seem crazy expensive, does it?

Went back to work and paid for daycare. Ooof, that's a little painful, but we managed.

Time goes by.

Preschool - couple hundred for the school year.
Clothes - buy a couple things here and there, but boy do we love hand-me-downs.
Toys - that's what holidays and generous relatives are for.
Elementary school - gym shoes, clothes, school supplies. Etc. etc.

Clothes can be a decent expense,especially if you don't have friends or relatives with an older child to passstuff down. Boys are tough too, cause they beat the heck out ofeverything. So every school year we have to shop for new jeans twice, new gymshoes, a couple hoodies, new backpack, blah blah. Then half way throughthe school year they decide they won't be caught dead in the $200 of stuff youbought at the beginning of the year. Or only certain brands,please. All the other kids have NorthFace winter coats? Sorry dude,not happening. What? A dress outfit for the concert at school? Wait, he can't wear his old beat up DC gym shoes to that? Skidded out onthe playground and ripped the knees out of another pair of jeans? So, yait's adding up, but still seems fairly manageable.

Then the sports begin.

All you other parents with kids insports just collectively shuddered, didn't you? Our boy has been thekarate master since he was 3 and got the TommyNitro and the Crimson Sausage karate set, so there's never been aquestion of what he wanted to do. So, we sign the kid up...$130. Can't do taekwondo without a taekwondo uniform...sounds reasonable, $50.

180 bucks? The kid better likeit!

A couple months of classes andhi-ya's! Then belt promotions start - $60 each. (Ya, that's $60TWELVE TIMES). Then they start sparring and need all the gear to protecttheir body, head, and especially those teeth, cause God forbid anything happensto them, you know how expensive that would be?

I'm sure all parents with kids in sports go through the same thing. The cost of registration, uniforms and equipment is astronomical. I'veheard that hockey costs are off the wall, ice skating is insane, and friends ofours with three kids in traveling soccer leagues are in for over a grand eachseason. Et tu, soccer?

Obviously kids are expensive. This is the real world, but it seems tome that keeping them out of sports because of cost shouldn't be an issue. Kids need to be active and learn how to be team players and the discipline andconfidence and all that. And besides...if they're not in it now, their chancesof getting on the varsity team in high school are nil. Gasp! Ofcourse there are cheap and/or free things they can do, but we want what theywant, they love the sport, they love playing it and everything else that goesalong with it, so we swallow the cost of it all.

Makes a sports-mom (or dad!) want to hold their own fundraiser…you bet I've considered it!

There are always second-hand stores we can check out for gear, namely of thePlay It Again brand, but sometimes it seems that even though the items are usedthey aren’t much of a deal, and places like Goodwill are hit or miss (mostlymiss) when you’re looking for one particular item.

As an alternative I created a Facebook group for parents of kids in sports who mayeither have an abundance of sports equipment, or may be looking for such itemsand don’t want to pay (re-)retail price. Parents can buy, sell, trade,give away, whatever. In this economy itis all we can do for some of us to just stay afloat. So check it out… For the Kids: SE Wisconsin: Sports Edition!and feel free to join and post.

THAT'S using your dojo mojo.

While we're on the subject of fundraisers – If your sports group/team/organization WOULD liketo hold a fundraiser, Shaklee is a righteous choice. This isn’t your typical fundraiser ofhydrogenated chocolates and wrapping paper, and there is definitelysomething for everyone. What betterproducts could an organization dedicated to sports and fitness tout than thosethat are designed to make you healthier and support an active lifestyle! Check out the entire Shaklee catalog here to see everything there is available - we have well over 300 products! Contact me for more info!

Raising active kids...it takes avillage!

(Fund)Raising Active Kids

2011-10-12T18:30:00.000-05:00

You know how before you had kids everyone would tell you how expensive they are? I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I mean, how expensive could they possibly be? Oh, believe me when I say I've figured it out, but just for kicks let's all get a good laugh at my expense at how clueless I was.

Using just my first as the example, I had myself convinced that kids are no big deal in the financial department. Here's how I fooled myself:

Making babies the traditional way is free. Hallelujah. Might have been down a bit for a bottle of wine and a nice dinner, but whatevs. Insurance paid for most of the doctor visits, hospital stay, etc. We were out a couple hundred bucks.

Cutie maternity clothes...I spent a bit. Had to be a fashionable preggie, right?

Baby shower. Everything you could possibly need to feed, clothe, and care for a baby, except the elusive instruction manual of course... all at one happy party. Cha-ching. Thanks, everyone!

Bring baby home. Diapers, wipes, cream for their little bee-hind. Let's say $25 at Jewel. Nursed the baby for quite some time and saved a bundle on formula.

Picked out some clothes and stuff that I just had to have...couple hundred bucks.

Considering we just had a kid, this doesn't seem crazy expensive, does it?

Went back to work and paid for daycare. Ooof, that's a little painful, but we managed.

Time goes by.

Preschool - couple hundred for the school year.
Clothes - buy a couple things here and there, but boy do we love hand-me-downs.
Toys - that's what holidays are for.
Elementary school - gym shoes, clothes, school supplies. Etc. etc.

Ok, so things are really starting to add up, but these are minimal expenses considering the big picture, right? Is it college tuition these people were talking about? I mean, that's years down the line! And anyway, my kid is a goddam genius who will be loaded with scholarships. College - bah! We've got it covered.

Clothes can be a decent expense, especially if you don't have friends or relatives with an older child to pass stuff down. Boys are tough too, cause they beat the hell out of everything. So every school year we have to shop for new jeans twice, new gym shoes, a couple hoodies, new backpack, blah blah. Then half way through the school year they decide they won't be caught dead in the $200 of stuff you bought at the beginning of the year. Or only certain brands, please. All the other kids have North Face winter coats? Sorry dude, not happening. What? A dress outfit for the concert at school? Crap! He can't wear his old beat up DC gym shoes to that? Crap! Skidded out on the playground and ripped the knees out of another pair of jeans? Crap! Ya it's adding up, but still seems fairly manageable.

Then the sports begin.

All you other parents with kids in sports just collectively shuddered, didn't you? Our boy has been the karate master since he was 3 and got Tommy Nitro and the Crimson Sausage karate video, so there's never been a question of what he wanted to do. So, we sign the kid up...$130. Can't do taekwondo without a taekwondo uniform...sounds reasonable, $50.
180 bucks? The kid better flipping like it.

A couple months of classes and hi-ya's! Then belt promotions start - $60 each. (Ya, that's $60 TWELVE TIMES). Then they start sparring and need all the gear to protect their body, head, and especially those teeth, cause God forbid anything happens to them, you know how expensive that would be?

Then they need weapons. More weapons. Then tournaments at $120 a pop. Then we travel for tournaments, then he wins and needs a new uniform to tout his prowess. A shelf! He needs a shelf to display his trophies and medals. Special shoes, warm up suits, bags and cases to carry all his stuff around in. WTF? This is one hell of an investment.

I'm sure all parents with kids in sports go through the same thing. The cost of registration, uniforms and equipment is astronomical. I've heard that hockey costs are off the wall, ice skating is insane, and friends of ours with three kids in traveling soccer leagues are in for over a grand each season. Et tu, soccer?

Obviously kids are expensive. This is the real world, but it seems to me that keeping them out of sports because of cost shouldn't be an issue. Kids need to be active and learn how to be team players and the discipline and confidence and all that. And besides...if they're not in it now, their chances of getting on the varsity team in high school are nil. Gasp! Of course there are cheap and/or free things they can do, but we want what they want, they love the sport, they love playing it and everything else that goes along with it, so we swallow the cost of it all.

So, I've decided to have a fundraiser. Sure, why not? You want my kids to be healthy and active, DON'T YOU?? Here's what you do:
Go to www.greengiraffe.myshaklee.com and look around at all the great healthy products for you, your kids, and your home. It's a great opportunity to go green with your cleaning supplies, switch out all your personal products to the safe stuff, or get your family on a daily multi-vitamin! THAT'S using your dojo mojo.

So many options that will help me pay for two kids in taekwondo! In return, I sincerely thank you, and I will send you a picture of my kids with their trophies. You'll love it.

As an added bonus, send me an email with your kids sport and annual cost of registration and equipment, and I will send you a lovely rebate. Don't forget to join membership!

Raising active kids...it takes a village.

Thanks Be To Dog

2011-10-10T13:52:00.000-05:00

Ever heard that owning a pet can be good for your health? It's so true. There have been actual scientific studies done that prove that having certain pet-friends will actually reduce stress and blood pressure in owners, increase longevity in those who've had heart attacks, and even relax and improve the appetites of Alzheimer's patients. I've been trying to get numerous family members on the cat bandwagon for years, but they all resist (of course). Pshaw.

It appears that pretty much any stress-related disorder, or any condition/sickness/disease/whatever that is affected or aggravated by stress can be helped by having a pet. Isn't that amazing? It makes so much sense. If you have a pet, go love it up for a minute...it's a total stress reducer! And they love you back so unconditionally, you can't help but to feel better.

More than 57% of American households have pets of some sort. And many of those have more than one. That's 57% of people that are benefiting from having animals in their lives. Personally, our zoo consists of one dog, two cats, a guinea pig, and a rat. There was a toad, but I liberated him recently.

Aside from the cleaning of cages, discoveries of chewed items, stepping on cold hairballs first thing in the morning, wretched dog breath, barf, pee, poo, hair, etc., our pets have made a big difference in our house, especially for me. You may have seen my previous blog about pet products, highlighting the beauty queen that is our dog, Stella. She makes me happy. She makes me laugh. We spoon. She keeps me warm. She gives me warm fuzzies. She knocked me down once and I sprained my ankle. I can hug her when I'm sad, and when I'm raging one look at her goofy face will always make me crack.

Further proof? I sure will be sad when she dies.
See?! Pet = happy. No pet = sad.

It's a well known (and glaringly obvious) fact that walking your dog every day will help get you active. How much more true could that be? If you don't have the motivation to get up and out by yourself, and as long as you would love and take care of it, why not get a dog? I suppose you could walk a cat, but really if you know anything about cats you know that won't work. Cats have their own agenda. Of course there are those that put their pets in special pet strollers. Hey, if it gets you out and active, I'll try really hard not to think you're weird.

Getting your pet (and yourself) out the door everyday is helpful in other ways, too. When you're out walking your dog and getting exercise, you run across others doing the same. You may socialize with these new folks that you may have never seen before if it wasn't for your walks. New friends - new outlook - exercise and fresh air - better mood. Dogs can help socially anxious people break the ice.

If you don't have the schedule, availability, or home available to be a dog owner, then volunteer to walk someone else's! Or see if your local pound would let you walk dogs daily or weekly! Hey, 57% of your friends and neighbors are pet owners, you know.

Pets can also prevent loneliness. The majority people who have pets consider them a companion instead of property, and 97% of those people admitted to talking to their pets. The other 3% lied, cause they totally do too. They should just admit it. I talk to the dog and cats constantly, especially when there's no one else home. It's just as good as talking to yourself.

So, there you have it. Improve your overall health with a pet. As long as you're not allergic or terrified of animals. I don't think having a pet and being terrified of it will help you in any way. If you're considering a pet for any reason, be sure you have the time, resources, and living conditions to provide the care they need and deserve!

Famous Last Words

2011-09-14T12:12:00.002-05:00

Do you love being told you're right? I do.

I mean, who doesn't. That's not a question, let's be realistic. No room for modesty here.

Once in a great while someone will say those words to me. Albeit, not often...for anyone I imagine. People don't like admitting defeat no matter who they are. But when it happens...ooh baby. Say it again. And again. Ohh ya, one more time. It's so satisfying...

Those magic words, 'you're right'. They get me every time.

Most of the time I live in the land of the eye-roll. I get it so often I am practically immune. As many of you know, I am quite opinionated in all matters food, chemicals, health and whatnot. I often put in my two cents where it probably isn't wanted, but honestly I just can't help myself. No, I don't always like to be the person to tell you that you're doing it all wrong - being the bearer of bad news all the time isn't fun, you know. Don't think your reaction isn't written all over your face...I am perfectly aware of how people take things. Most don't want to be told that their Vitamin Water is no better than soda, or that their after workout Muscle Milk has terrible side effects blah blah blah. I imagine people often think I am just trying to sell my own stuff, but that's not necessarily the case. I try to educate for better choices. Though I have been asked, 'why didn't you tell me?', me giving bad news is not what this blog is about. (That's this one).

It's about me being right.

How many times have you been solicited for advice, or given it freely only for it to be thrown back at you unappreciatively? It happens to everyone. (Jeez, I hope it happens to everyone and not just me). No matter what you say, the recipient of your good intentions seems to disagree and purposely stay very clear of anything you suggest. It's hard to understand sometimes, why one would be discounted so quickly. Is my knowledge not credible because I didn't go to medical school? I think not. Maybe to some I am still viewed as 'little Bonnie, what could she possibly know?'.

Yes, this blog is about you. You know who you are, MOM. And especially you Tracy, though you still haven't taken any of my brilliant advice. I threatened to blog about you, didn't I? See what you get for laughing? Mwah ha ha ha!!! Who's laughing now, Carol?!!

Some time ago, my mom was having big problems with heartburn, acid reflux kind of stuff. She was on a prescription for it from the doc...Zantac, maybe...and even had to go back for a stronger prescription when that one wasn't working. After having knee replacement surgery and being on so many rounds of antibiotics for one reason or another, I deduced that she would really benefit from a probiotic (in general), and specifically that it would really help her acid reflux. Since she was so skeptical and just because I knew it would help so much I even offered her a bottle for free out of the goodness of my heart, which was refused. Some time later, like 6 months to a year of suffering, she tells me one day that she's now on a probiotic. A friend of hers swore that they were working wonders for her, and that my mom should try it. She did, and her acid reflux was practically cured. Okey dokey. Good thing that lady told her about probiotics, huh?

Just a week or two ago, I was having another conversation with my mom in which she informed me that she joined a Jazzercise class. Yay!! She had sat through one class to see what it was like, saw that there is every level of ability in the class, and signed up. Now...my mom has been retired for a couple years. During this time I have suggested over and over that she get out and do something...a cooking class, yoga, knitting club, anything! I also told her that the more she is sedentary, the harder it will get. I even bought her the Tony Horton (the P90X guy) Flap-assing with the Fogies video. Well, I got to hear those magic words...ooh I get chills just thinking about how it sounded...'you were right'. Ahhhhh.

Say it to yourself once or twice. Doesn't it feel good? Ya, you know it does.

How about all those conversations about how bad artificial sweeteners are? Well, they wouldn't sell that stuff if it wasn't just fine for you, would they? Well, well. Isn't that a good question. I've been on the anti-artificial bandwagon for a long time now, and I definitely make my feelings about it known...especially to those I care about, an especially when those same people consume more than their share of said sweeteners. But don't listen to me, noooo. Get a chain email about the dangers of aspartame. Read it. Heed it. And forward it to ME, as if I didn't practically write that email.

Lucky for me my mom has a good sense of humor, and was forewarned about me writing this blog. We laugh a lot together, no matter whose folly is being discussed. More often than not, I think we are probably laughing about ME. I'm not laughing AT you Carol, I'm laughing WITH you.

To get to the ever-present point of the story, I'm not as full of baloney as you might think. Some people actually respect my opinions and advice because believe it or not, I'm not just talking to hear the sound of my own voice.

I'm right. Just ask my mom.

Now, what would you like to know?!

A Dirt Cheap Solution

2011-09-09T14:01:00.000-05:00

Lately, no matter what I look at, it looks expensive to me. Food, clothes, utilities, you name it. I know it's not just my imagination that the cost of things are going up, especially in the food department, but I can usually overlook it at the grocery store by just not buying certain things. As an example, I refuse to pay over $1.29 for an avocado. I just can't do it.

A couple months ago my husband sent me an article titled 'That's pricey: 13 items that cost more, or will soon'. They talk about gas, airfare, furniture (?!), fast food (oh. darn.), FLIPPIN' CHOCOLATE!!! I guess expensive chocolate is good motivation for me to NOT buy it, but I still like having the option...

One of the items on that list is household products. Now that's interesting, isn't it? *wink wink* According to the article,

'Diapers, soap, toilet paper, toothpaste, trash bags and many other everyday items all have been targeted for price hikes as companies from Kimberly-Clark to Procter & Gamble to Colgate-Palmolive respond to rising ingredient costs'

- and -

'The Consumer Price Index has climbed 2.7% in the past 12 months, according to government statistics released Friday. That’s the largest rise since 2009. Price increases will continue in the months ahead...'

Well that sucks. I doubt I am the only one feeling the repercussions of rising costs, but I can happily say that the rising cost of cleaning products will NOT affect me. Don't fall victim to this baloney! If you've read my blog before, I make it pretty well known that I love Shaklee products. I usually go on talking about how wonderful and green and safe they are, but have I mentioned how much money they save me? I know some of you don't give a rats ass how green they are...if I had a dime for every time I heard 'I just love my bleach, I'll never give it up!'...well, you know the rest.

I just got the sale papers for a couple grocery stores,and one has Windex on sale 2/$5. That's a 26 oz bottle for $2.50, for the record.

When I mix up a bottle of Shaklee H2 windows and mirrors cleaner it costs me less than 1 cent. Yes, less than $.01 for a 16 oz bottle. Hmmm...2 cents (for 32 oz, not 26!) vs. $2.50 for 26 oz? Not a hard choice. Suck on that, Windex.

Before I was enlightened I bought Fantastic and Clorox Clean-Up, at about $2.39 a bottle. Then when I greened up I was buying Seventh Generation for $4.79 or even GreenWorks (which is total greenwashing, I now know) for about $2.50. These days, when I mix up the equivalent Shaklee H2 all-purpose cleaner it costs me .22 cents...a gallon. If I was better at math I would figure out how much that is per bottle, but I really stink at it. Feel free to jump in, math people.

I've got more, of course I do. But I will not go on and on because I don't think it's necessary. You want to save money where ever you can, and so do I. This is one of the things I do that saves A LOT. Total bonus...you don't have to walk down the cleaning product or laundry aisle at the grocery store...it stinks so bad! I walk through there once in a great while, and every time I do I sneeze from all the perfumes and chemicals. Yuck! But, that's a whole other blog...

Did I also mention that you can use H2 on anything that can get wet? Ask yourself a question: Does this sound like you? 'But ohhh, waaahhh, I need a different cleaner for my kitchen and waaahhhh what am I supposed to use in the bathroom or on the floooooor?'. H2 gets used on everything. It dusts furniture, removes soap scum, cleans kitchen counters, mops floors, washes dogs, washes children, degreases grease, de-pests plants, de-wrinkles clothes, deters mosquitoes on you and fleas from your pets, etc etc. You can clean anything with this stuff, and throw your dirty water outside and it will make your grass greener and your roses rosier. I even shoot fruit flies right out of the air with it, and don't tell me that doesn't sound like fun. Drink it, bathe in it, do what you gotta do...just don't forget to tell your friends about it.

And to answer your next question, yes it works. You couldn't put 'Always Works' in your motto if it didn't always work. That's false advertising, and the green folks at Shaklee look down their squeaky clean noses at stuff like that.

So here it is, folks. The solution to saving money with cheaper cleaners is at your fingertips. All the cleaning products in the Get Clean line are concentrated out the wazoo. You use less, you spend less, you save money and you can buy more shoes. Want to ~~buy more shoes~~ save money? Start here. Come to the Light Side. Do it now!!!

Finger Lickin' Good, Ya'll

2011-08-31T10:17:00.001-05:00

How many times have you been driving down the road or sitting at a stoplight, minding your innocent little business, and happen to sneak a glance at the person next to you just to find that they are knuckle deep in their nose? Sometimes you even get to witness the follow-thru...you know what I'm talking about. Grown, supposedly mature, adults eating boogers. GROSS.

Obviously kids do it. Sooo many kids do it! I was inspired to write this blog the other day by my little friend Jacob, who finds the inside of his nose positively irresistible. Thank you Jacob! He's lucky he's one of those super cute angel-face kids, cause he can totally pull off getting caught picking.

We all see people picking their noses all the time, don't we. Sometimes we even get to make commentary. Like when we were standing in line for the ferris wheel and the kid in front of us turned around so we would have the privilege of watching his booger show. After he stuck his finger in his mouth, making full eye contact the whole time, my husband innocently asked 'Was that good?'. Well?! Don't you wonder what keeps the booger eaters coming back for more?

Maybe they know something we don't. (Besides how boogers taste).

There's a certain doctor in Austria, a lung specialist, who believes that nose-picking and booger-eating will actually strengthen the immune system. Let me restate that. There's an actual medical doctor who thinks that eating boogers is a GOOD IDEA. The idea is that all the little germs and bacteria that get hung up by the cilia and mucous in our noses, then picked out and eaten, actually works as a sort of probiotic for us, creating antibodies and helping fight off whatever is out there trying to slip past the gooey gates.

Who woulda thought? Eating boogers is potentially a healthy(ish) habit? I don't know...

If I see you totally digging and subsequently eating what you find,

is it still considered a healthy habit

if I barf on you?

I doubt it. I get the logic, I admit it makes sense. But still, can't we just break the nose picking habit early and all buy Shaklee probiotics instead?! Really, I will happily supply the world...

There's an actual scientific name for nose picking, it's rhinotillexis. And compulsive nose-picking is rhinotillexomania. There's even a latin word for booger-eating! You know you want to know what it is. It's automucophagy. Hey, I totally understand that inquiring minds want to know, so I will oblige.

Here in The Land of Cheese, the first day of school countdown clock is about to hit blastoff. With the inception of the new school year comes a whole slew of new germs for our kids to bring home to us poor, innocent parents. Our families pass around colds, flu, viruses, heck even warts, that we've picked up while we are out and about. Kids are obviously infamous for germ-transfer, especially the younger ones who are still perfecting the art of the 'coughing corner'. What's that, you ask? Um, hello? The inside of your elbow, where all well-placed coughs and sneezes go! Feel free to take notes here, folks.

So, what's a concerned parent to do to fight off all these germy germs? There's the obvious hand-washing, disinfecting (with only safe, non-toxic cleaners of course), or using your coughing corner to not needlessly spread sickness around. But needless to say, there are always some germs that get by even the most diligent hand-washing, mouth-covering, non-bare-surface-touching germophobe. So, how about fighting them better from the inside, too? Our immune systems are a hugely important part of the body, and when sickness abounds we must strengthen ourselves to fight off the ones that get by.

Don't worry, I'm not going to suggest eating a few boogers. You can do what you want, but don't expect me to shake your hand. Obviously there are a lot of things we can do to help ourselves that does not include automucophagy. There are a lot less gross things we can do, I should say. Obviously eating right is the first one. Some kids would not agree...they might actually prefer boogers to vegetables. If that's not really an option you'd like them explore, literally, keep reading.

Did you know that refined sugar actually suppresses the immune system? Ya. It does. So stop consuming so much. Certainly taking a daily multi-vitamin (or one for kids), a probiotic, eating lots of lean protein, getting lots of sleep, regular exercise, and living in a clean environment are all ideal. There is plenty of help for cold and flu season!

So come on, folks. Let's get to work. There are a LOT of nose-pickers out there! So when you see them...give them my number!

Total Buzz Kill

2011-08-26T11:28:00.002-05:00

This year at the beginning of the summer I instituted a rule: Nothing with a screen between noon and 8 pm.

No t.v., no computer, no video games, no ipod. Strangely enough, I kind of think the kids were excited about it in the beginning, this new rule that would really mix everything up. Only at first did I have a little trouble enforcing the rule, and that was mostly because I would forget about it! And of course now that the season is winding down and the late-summer boredom has set in, it is harder yet. Regardless, the rule worked really well all summer, and I'll definitely do it again next year. The kids played outside so much...like we used to when we were kids! You know, before all this fancy schmancy hand-held technology. HA! We're old!

Because of my no-screen rule, all summer I was supplying constant ideas of new things they could do outside, or suggesting something to draw, make out of dough, paint (including objects), or construct out of other things. We also spent a pretty decent amount of time at the beach. Nothing like an endless amount of sand and water to really make a bunch of happy shorties.

That's a great thing about this area - how close we are to so many beaches. And (amazingly) they're clean. And not crowded! Of course Lake Michigan water is body-numbing frigid most of the summer but hey, you get hot, you jump in, you cool off....quickly. What more can you ask for?

Since we've lived here, our family has unofficially chosen one particular beach as our favorite, and we go there more than any of the other area beaches. It's a Lake Michigan beach, and most of the summer it was fantastic. There's a little 'pool' area that's warmer than the lake, a little stream from the pool into the lake, tons of cool rocks and fossils to collect, bigger rocks for climbing, lots of beach glass hunting for me, and the sand is pretty fine and light. It's a great spot.

Except for the second half of August. Oh Goodness.

We've visited this beach twice in the past two weeks, and ended up running out of there after only about a half an hour, chased out by those nasty little biting black flies. I've experienced this quite a bit, in quite a few places around Wisconsin. I'm sure it happens other places but I just don't know about it. Is it the lake? The sand? Obviously they wait until the end of the summer to appear...but why? And why do they have to follow you and bite you and make it so dang miserable that you have to leave?! My friend told me yesterday that it hurts when they bite you because they are literally ripping off a chunk of your skin. Awesome.

Where we live we also have big-time mosquito issues. Wisconsin doesn't spray, so we have to take it into our own hands. Luckily, Shaklee H2 works great as a natural repellent for your body, but we do go through our share of Off and have even stooped to spray the yard because it was just so hard to be outside without it. Yes, I know. Bad chemicals. But what's the alternative? Don't go outside? I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Since I compost and we eat a lot of fruit and vegetables, I often have a lot of fruit flies in the kitchen. Naturally there are ants, and once in a while some moth or other weird freaky bug comes wandering in to die a most hideous death at the hands (or paws) of my cats.

What's an eco-friendly mom to do? Spray the crap out of everything with chemicals and hope for the best? Well, maybe. But not until I get so fed up there's no other choice! Until then, I try to control it all as greenly and as safely as I can.

Here are just a few things I have found and used:
A little bowl of apple cider vinegar with a drop of dish soap mixed in lures those pesky fruit flies to a liquidy death. Works great.
Repel mosquitoes safely with H2 wipes or all-purpose formula sprayed on.
You can even spray fruit flies right out of the air with the H2 all-purpose. It's kind of fun!
If you know where the ants are coming in, pour some cornmeal around and the greedy little bastards will snatch it up and take it back to the nest where all their greedy little bastard friends will eat it. Unfortunately for them, they can't digest it, so it swells up inside their disgusting little bodies and the greedy little bastards burst. Whoopee!
I've also heard that drawing a chalk line works cause the ants won't walk across it, and sprinkling baby powder around for the same reason.

These solutions are all fine and good, but I'm out of apple cider vinegar, and I don't know where my ants are coming in...they just appear in the middle of a blank wall, the little teleporting freaks! This spring my super-efficient and green friend Libby gave me this awesome bug-zapping contraption. Looks just like a tennis racket, but has a little electrical charge that zaps any of those rotten little fliers right out of the air. WHAT FUN. When we first got it, we would literally go seek out the bugs, like turn on the porch light and wait beneath it. We sure are easily entertained, but in all seriousness this thing is awesome. No chemicals! I even got a couple ants with it even though they weren't flying. Oh, and the crackle it makes when you get a bug is oh so satisfying...

Of course all good things must come to an end, and the good bug-zapping tennis racket unfortunately came to an end. When something is that much fun, it is irresistible to the shorter people that are always hanging around, and you know how badly they treat their toys? Ya, same story. So now what?

Well...I have a spider. He moved in over the kitchen sink the weekend we were out of town, and I've left him there for 2 weeks now. He's caught ants and fruit flies and who knows what else...it's hard to tell what the little mummies might have started off as. I am one of those people who really do NOT like spiders. There are some crazies who catch them in their house and set them free outside. Crazies!! Not me. I usually smash them, spray them, electrocute them, flush them, whatever. Their demise is my comfort.

But not this time. This little daddy long-legs is my friend and I like it. I even put a chunk of overripe banana under his web to attract the fruit flies so he wouldn't move away! Yep, I just keep getting nuttier and nuttier over here.

At any rate, my new friend certainly doesn't help with what's going on out in the yard or at the beach, but bugs are allowed to be outside, I suppose. Next year I will get a new bug-zapping tennis racket to take everywhere with me! In the meantime, just call me spider mom!

Gettin' Schooled

2011-08-20T16:43:00.000-05:00

Ahhh...four of my favorite words are floating around constantly in conversations, commercials, even sales flyers - Back To School Time. Just typing and reading it gives me warm fuzzy feelings. Our district doesn't start until September 1, so we are still a week and a half away. That's ok though, it's good. I have 8 more days (not counting weekends) to enjoy some last minute summer activities and having my kids home with me all day. But who's counting?

This summer has been great though it sure went fast, but all in all I give it four stars. We did some traveling, celebrated the wedding of my husband's brother, spent time at the beach, my kids played with their friends, etc. etc. What more can you ask for? Only that eventually school will start again...and it will. It is upon us, in a mere 8 days. 8...more...days...

Like death and taxes, sort of... every year it comes time for school supply shopping. This is an especially joyous occasion for the children. After a season of freedom and fun in the sun, there is nothing they would prefer to do than the combination of thinking about school starting and shopping. It's quite the dynamic duo, don't you think?

Shopping
+ Going back to school
= Not very fun for anyone

Every year we get the good old supply list to follow and shop till every item on the list is accounted for; ziplocs (2 sizes), pencil boxes, non-marking gym shoes, dry erase markers (low-odor only!), 3-prong 2-pocket folders in 4 different colors (plastic lasts longer!), etc. One of the items that appears on the list every year that really burns my ass is those pesky wet wipes. I've had lists that called out specific brand names of disinfecting wipes, though to the school's credit in the last couple years the brand names have been left off.

I've spent enough time at the school in past years to see that most parents are still supplying the classrooms with disinfecting wipes, and I've spied with my own two eyes a teacher lining up the kids and handing them each their own Lysol wipe to wipe their hands with. Gah!!

Some time ago while researching this whole issue, a friend of mine contacted Clorox regarding their products being on school supply lists, and the correct usage of disinfecting wipes specifically in a school setting. Clorox responded (in writing, no less) that the correct usage of a disinfecting wipe is thus: Wipe once with a clean wipe to remove any actual, visible dirt and discard that wipe; Get a fresh wipe and re-wipe the same surface to disinfect. For anyone not counting, that's a two-wipe process. Clorox went on to say that their wipes should only be used while wearing protective gloves, and are ONLY for use by adults. That's adults, not children.

Since he started kindergarten my son has only been taking wipes to school that have been approved by ME. (I've done my homework and I'd like to think I'm some what of an authority on the subject, so this isn't just based on my opinions or what I'd like to sell you.) I've informed all of the teachers that either of my children have had that they are not allowed to touch any of those toxic disinfecting wipes...it is bad enough that they are used by other children, and on the desks after school hours and the kids are touching the residue and breathing in the fumes all day long. But, as one parent I can only do so much to protect my own children when they are in a group setting. Without seeming like that crazy mom whose kids live in a bubble, anyway.

Some time ago, I watched part of a documentary or news show about a woman who refused to touch anything without having a disinfecting wipe in her hand first. She'd even grab her mail with a wipe! It was so out of control that a doctor told her that within the next five years she would most likely be diagnosed with some sort of cancer, as well as numerous other potential health problems that come from absorbing toxic chemicals, specifically through the skin. I searched long and hard for the specific article, but could not find it. Rest assured, there are a lot of crazies out there with similar problems. Just Google it if you want to read more.

What I'm saying here folks, is that if we ALL supply our schools with safer alternatives then ALL our children will be in a healthier environment for 8 hours a day. Chemical exposure and fumes can be responsible for a lot of different problems like attention and behavior, and in schools any interruption in the learning process is very unwelcome. So why are these chemicals still allowed in schools? There was an experiment done with some children and a handwriting test. Tested before and after inhaling chlorine bleach fumes, the children showed serious effects from the fumes that our kids most likely breathe in every day at school. One child tested wasn't even capable of writing his own name after exposure. Is this what we want for OUR children? I think not.

Naturally I'm going to recommend Shaklee's H2 wipes, because I know they are safe and proven. They are non-toxic, biodegradable, and pH balanced to the skin. Shaklee's Germ Off wipes are the safest disinfecting wipe on the market, and are also biodegradable. My kids will be taking one container of each with them to school on the first day...with their names written on the top and instructions to the teacher that these are the ONLY wipes my children are allowed to use.

I can only hope that more and more parents see the big picture and supply our schools (and our HOMES for that matter) with the safest, non-toxic cleaning products possible. So many people are still under the impression that if it's available at the grocery store, it must be safe. This is so far from the truth, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when I think about how misinformed the American public is. Chemical companies don't care if they are poisoning you, folks. And neither does the FDA. Not sure if I can say who said this, but here is the quote anyway: "People assume that it’s on the shelf it’s been tested, it’s safe. And you can’t make that assumption all the time. You can’t. Not with the regulatory framework we have in place." Read the full article here, and more here, and a bunch about children's health here.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

We need to protect our own. Start NOW.

P.S. For those of you who cry on the first day of school...buck up, huh?! Wipe your tears...it's not like they won't be back in 8 hours. Enjoy!

Enough with the Blind Eye!

2011-06-12T13:25:00.000-05:00

For argument's sake, let's say that you read my last blog. Let's say that you never buy food items from China because you were already aware of their many contaminations and other food issues. Awesome! Good for you, it's a step in the right direction.

Now let's say that you were at the grocery today and bought Ecuadorian bananas, mangoes from Costa Rica, and clementines from Chile. Make yourself a mental picture of the workers who farm in those countries and harvested your newly acquired produce. Quaint, isn't it? Straw hats, donkeys, Juan Valdez.

Now picture this: thousands of Latin American families devastated by the pesticides and herbicides used to grow that pretty produce that now sits in your fruit bowl. Atrocious sicknesses, infertility and sterility, cancer, paralysis, skin infections, headaches, lung damage, nose bleeds, and loss of sight to name a few. Chemicals made by companies like Dow, Bayer and DuPont and used by companies like Dole and Monsanto. Those companies then refuse to compensate the injured workers and their families and deny the existence of any problems. American workers have also been affected by these chemicals and their injury claims denied!

No way can I sit back and eat my perfectly yellow banana and pretend this isn't going on. Once you learn that the food you are eating has these chemicals on it, or that the people responsible for bringing it to you are dying for it, it's impossible to turn a blind eye to it. Twenty-five percent of the world's pesticides are used in third world countries and it this is where over 99% of pesticide related deaths occur. Is this supposed to be ok?

Today I read an article about this subject that came to me in a newsletter from a site called Natural News. For the record - the article really pissed me off. If you don't subscribe to the site already I highly recommend that you do so. The headline caught my eye because of the blog I wrote the other day, and the subject has been on my mind. The fact that this is going on all over the world and these American companies are taking such advantage of other countries well and truly offends me. This isn't a case of another country poisoning their own soil because of their own lax policies. This is American companies employing farmers and workers, producing food for export to Americans, and leaving their people sick and their homelands polluted for years to come. It's so wrong.

If we all needed another reason to buy organic and buy local (as if!), well there it is. Read the article for yourself and look up the chemicals mentioned (try Wikipedia or EWG). I did. I also got the 'clementines from Chile' reference from my own fruit bowl. I bought those clementines at my local Target, and let me tell you how I won't be doing that again.

If you think that your government and governmental agencies are protecting you, wake up. Open your eyes and watch what you're putting into your mouth. Not sure why you should avoid pesticides and herbicides in the first place? Explore here, and here. Need more proof? Find it here, here, here. Support your local farmers, grow your own, and buy organic! Support companies that are doing the right thing. You're making the world better for everyone by doing so!

The Good, The Bad and The Gelatinous

2011-06-07T11:13:00.001-05:00

As the growing season starts and so many good little gardeners are outside planting seeds for vegetables and assessing fruit trees and bushes, the question of organic vs. non-organic seems to be at the forefront of a lot of discussions. Organic vs. non-organic has become a pretty mainstream topic, and although there are all sorts of articles and t.v. shows and blurbs on the news (or blogs!) there are still so many who question what to do.

Organic is too expensive, say some. It's worth it, say others. You may be somewhere in between. I am. I would prefer to buy all organic and I wish I could afford $8 strawberries, but it's just not realistic. You may have heard of the 'Dirty Dozen'...the worst fruits and vegetables to buy non-organic. If not, you can see it here.

If you're one of those good little gardeners who grow their own...good for you! I wish I was a better gardener. I really like it...I mean even the flowers, vegetables, all of it, but I have a major brown thumb. I plant, and they inevitably die a dried up, withered death. I can't even keep a houseplant alive. There are some garden items that seem to take care of themselves, which is nice. Strawberries, raspberries, some herbs. The fruit trees just need occasional trimming, no biggie. Rhubarb. They just grow and grow. If it's really low-maintenance and I can't screw it up too much, it's alright by me. Or should I say, it's relatively safe FROM me.

I do like to be out there in the garden digging holes and planting, laying it all out, pulling weeds, etc. But really I think my worst issue is the bugs. As soon as the mosquitoes are in full swing, the spiders are as big as your hand, and the fliers have no concept of personal space...I'm outty. I'm done. No spray (though H2 wipes work pretty well) can fix it, I just can't tolerate the bugs.

Last weekend I took the boy to the nursery and shopped around in the pouring rain. That was fun. While there, I noticed some vegetable plants, I think these particular ones were patio tomatoes, planted in this weird clear gel stuff. After my initial recoil, my first thought was to wonder if the inside of the tomato turns out as gelatinous as the stuff it's growing in. Yuckedy yuck! I still don't know what that gel is (yes of course I Googled it), or despite some website claims - how non-toxic and biodegradable it is. I just can't see myself being comfortable eating a vegetable that I picked off a plant grown in the same type of gel that a baby pees on in their diapers night and day. What...? Doesn't that sound delicious?

Finding this abomination inspired me to post a poll on my Facebook page: Would you knowingly eat a vegetable grown in that water-retaining gel stuff? I mean, maybe I'm overreacting and it's the best eco-friendly, organic enabling, water-conserving goo there has ever been! Aside from my favorite hecklers who answer so many of my nutritional-type posts with just simply 'Bacon!' - you know who you are - I only got two serious answers. The first answer was basically a resounding 'Oh hellll no!', and the other...the other was a little disturbing. (Sorry babe, if you're reading this I don't mean to pick on you). The answer was; 'No. That is why I do not want to know.'. This baffles me. Being so conscious of chemicals, and I fully acknowledge that not everyone is like me, this is something I think about with every vegetable I pick up. Sometimes I will not buy an item at all if I don't like the looks of it and if organic is too expensive. And I don't mean I skip it cause it's not pretty enough. I mean, it's too damn pretty or the packaging looks...too...happy. I don't know.

Moving on.

The other day a headline really caught my eye...when 'exploding' and 'watermelons' are in the same sentence...I mean, come on. Like that doesn't sound fun? I had to click it and see what was up. I learned that a whole bunch of watermelon crops being grown in China were ruined because the melons exploded. Exploded! Awesome!! No, no, forget I said that. Not awesome. The reason they exploded was because the Chinese farmers used some sort of growth chemical (forchlorfenuron) that caused the watermelons to grow so quickly that thousands of them burst right out there in those Chinese fields. *Side note: As it turns out, that same chemical is approved for use in the U.S. for grapes, raisins, and kiwi fruit, and is toxic to honey bees. Just so you know. And wouldn't you rather know?

In this day and age of 8 & 9 year olds getting their periods, I would certainly rather know whether my fruits and vegetables (or milk or meat or whatever) have been treated with some growth-inducing crapola. You eat it, and it's in you. This isn't confined to what I talked about above, either. Pesticides, antibiotics, hormones, chemicals of every shape and form. Ever heard this one...? --> You are what you eat.

Now that we know what Chinese farmers did to their watermelons to make more money, do you wonder what they're doing in all aspects of food production? I do. China is infamous for pollution, ground contamination, poor practices in food production. Arsenic in soy sauce, borax in pork, melamine in milk, and pharmaceuticals in water and earth. Their lenient policies in these areas make them very successful producers. And a lot of stuff comes out of China.

One of those things I found not too long ago that really really bothers me is Capri Sun....because apparently we don't have enough apples here in the U.S. to make our own juice boxes...?   So we're even buying juice from China. Why?

Because it's cheap and kids dig it. Kids like it because it tastes good. How can something taste so good, and be loaded with so much shit? Sugar and artificial flavors in juice. Why? The real thing is great! Sweet, refreshing, good for you. It may not be blue or come in a fancy little pouch, but the kids drink it all the same.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the Chinese or importing other stuff from there. But food? I mean, freaking APPLE JUICE? Obviously some things only grow in certain places, but I'm not talking about those. Let's buy local, folks. Or grow your own. Enough with the Chinese Capri Sun! Get it together out there.

No excuses, either. I'm lucky to have a yard big enough for fruit trees and a garden, but I've also knocked on peoples doors to see if they were going to use the zillion apples hanging off the 7 trees in their yard, or the mulberries the birds are feasting on, or the pears hanging neglected. Join your local freecycle! There are constantly people posting free vegetables, fruit, whatever. Make friends with your green-thumbed neighbor! If they are supplying you with zucchini and green beans, suck it up and pretend to like them. It's all out there, and it doesn't have to be from the other side of the world.

Be careful what you eat, what you buy, what you put in and on your body. I can't say it enough. Be aware and be knowledgeable. And if you get an overwhelming desire for exploding items, for goodness sakes, the 4th of July is just around the corner!

Bursting Bubbles and Raining on Parades

2011-05-27T10:49:00.001-05:00

Did you ever see that SNL skit that is set up like a commercial for high fructose corn syrup? If you haven't, enjoy it here. It's hilarious and I definitely got a good laugh out of it at the end, but I have to be honest when I say that in the beginning when the party-host mom starts going off on the other woman, I started to sweat.

It made me anxious cause that's totally me, I'm the one who's always telling people what they're doing wrong and I often wonder what people think when they see me coming.

"What's she going to tell us we're doing wrong, this time? Hide your snack foods and drinks folks, cause here she comes!"

All people want to do is enjoy their cup of coffee with Italian Sweet Cream Coffeemate in peace, and here I come to tell them that it's going to give them heart disease. Sure it tastes good and provides relaxation and enjoyment, but how can anyone relax and enjoy something that is so unhealthy? And how does one keep one's mouth shut when apparently others are not aware of the contents of what they are consuming? It's a different story if they are fully aware and don't care and eat/drink it anyway. Then it's their problem. They might get a raised eyebrow and a tsk tsk from me but if they know what they're doing, they're on their own.

So this is my dilemma. Do I want to be that person to always tell people that...Coffeemate is massively hydrogenated, Slim Fast is garbage in a can, Vitamin Water is no better than soda, or that daily multivitamin they are taking is no better than swallowing one of your kids Littlest Pet Shop pieces?

No, I don't always want to be the one. But who else is going to tell them? Are they better off living in ignorance? Some people would say yes, live and let live.

I kept my mouth shut about something once and later on when the person found out what bad ingredients were in it, she asked me why I didn't say anything. Because I'm always the bearer of bad news, and it's not always a fun position. When I get a good reaction and someone is actually grateful for the information I've shared, then I feel good about it and it's worth the risk of putting myself out there. But I have been in the position where I've been asked 'what am I doing wrong, now?' with no shortage of attitude. Like THAT wouldn't make someone uncomfortable!

I'm not trying to be a know-it-all, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad. I do it because I care. So, that said, if you want to hear what you're doing wrong...you know where to come!

The. Worst. Salesperson. Ever.

2011-05-05T10:35:00.001-05:00

That's me, you know. I really stink.

Unfortunately for me, it's what I do. I sell products...right? Ya, sorta, I guess. As if we needed more evidence of me being a poor salesperson, there's that last sentence to really drive it home. *Sigh*

A little background info for anyone who doesn't know me: I am a distributor for Shaklee. I sell green cleaners, whole food vitamin supplements, skin care, body care, childrens vitamins & body stuff, weight loss...all the most pure and organic and chemical free. It's a great company, Shaklee even consults to the U.S. Pharmacopaeia and sets standards of purity and quality all over the world. No other supplement company can compare to Shaklee's research (though some have tried to pass it off as their own!) or Shaklee's quality and purity. And you can take that to the bank.

I do pretty well, too, if I may say so myself. I am solidly contributing to our household finances, have no other (outside of the house) job and no plans to get one either. I helped finance a complete bathroom remodel, I pay for our family's gym membership and cell phones, and even have some left over. Lucky for me this stuff typically sells itself. Especially the cleaning stuff...I do a demo and it's undeniable...the stuff works great. Easy peasy. And the nutrition...once you try it you realize what you've been missing, and it's hard to go back knowing how good you can feel. Good stuff to sell when you're a sucky salesperson, huh? Ha!!

I know some really good salespeople. Many have excellent advice on what to say, what responses to give when someone says 'no', different strategies, etc. I listen to their advice and end up thinking what different people we are, and what works for them as a salesperson isn't going to work for stinky me cause I'm just not aggressive like that. My salespitch? Just try it. Yep, that's all I got.

Instead of a salesperson, I fancy myself an educator. Go ahead, you know you're thinking it...well la dee da, she fancies. Yep, I fancy. I'm obviously interested in health, nutrition, fitness, and the environment, and I talk about it anyway, right? Uh, YEAH. Sit down and listen, I'll tell you all kinds of stuff about the products you use or the food you eat that'll make your hair curl. I've read, I've researched, I've tried stuff, I've experimented. I'm a firm believer and I want others to believe too, so that they can live healthier lifestyles and feel better and be better and live longer and look younger, etc etc. It's out of the goodness of my heart, not because I want to sell people stuff. If Target sold Shaklee, I'd tell people to go there and buy it. If I wasn't a distributor, I'd still tell people not to use bleach or ammonia or Magic Erasers or air fresheners. I'd still say 'read your labels!' and talk about how high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Eat your organic fruits and vegetables, stop drinking milk, soda is the devil and artificial sweeteners are his spawn. The chemicals in cleaners and body products will give you cancer, irritate (or cause) asthma, build up in your body and make you sick, sick sick. Many vitamins are not usable by your body because they are synthetic and you won't absorb them. Many vitamins and protein products have been badly processed and won't give you the benefits you think you are getting. Stick around, folks cause I've got plenty more.

And that's how I do it. I educate, I don't sell. I educate people so that they can make better and healthier choices, and of course I have those healthier choices available...it is a business after all. I don't sell them a product as a replacement for what they have without telling them why...what's the point in that? If you educate them, they will get there on their own and their level of loyalty will be greater than you could hope for. And when people are making the choice of their own volition instead of feeling pressured from a salesperson, they feel better about the choice and will move forward with it.

Think you can do it? Talk to people about what matters to you? Give other people the knowledge you have acquired and help them make better choices - steer them in a better direction? Sure you can. Educate your friends, family, neighbors, and even complete strangers, and watch the sales roll in. If I can do it, you can do it. Really. No, really really.

Sooo, are you ready?

Save the Children...Eat their Candy!

2011-04-13T10:44:00.001-05:00

Ahhh candy. Who doesn't love candy? That's not a real question, of course everyone loves candy. Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter. Whole holidays with their own kind of devoted candy! Yes, candy is good. It seems that most people usually favor one type of candy over the other...chocolate vs. fruity. I, myself, am hands-down a chocolate person. I will pass up Twizzlers (gelatin rhymes with skeleton!) without a thought, skip the Skittles and Mike 'N Ikes, ignore the Jolly Ranchers and Laffy Taffy. But put chocolate in front of me, and ooooh we've got trouble. I will eat myself into a stomach-ache. Yes, I lack control where chocolate is concerned.

That's why I don't normally buy candy. Sure, I get the occasional hair up my ass chocolate craving and come home from the store with a couple of gorgeous Cadbury Fruit 'n Nut bars. But if I have it I eat it till its gone, and if I have a constant supply...well, you get the picture. So, these holidays come around to replenish my much unneeded secret supply. You do have a stash spot, don't you? Every parent needs one. If candy is freely out in the open at my house, it is fair game for anyone and disappears VERY quickly. Inevitably, those days come around when you just might actually die if you don't get at least a dang chocolate chip, and when that happens you best be prepared, mama! Hook yourself up with a good stash spot.

Now, there is good candy and bad candy. I'm talking taste and quality here, folks. Ever have that chocolate-flavored wax? You know what I mean, especially if you like chocolate. Companies out there are churning out the most disgusting, artificially flavored garbage, and because it's 'candy', people buy it and kids will eat it. My kids won't even admit when candy isn't good - ever buy those gross-flavor Jelly Bellys, the ones first seen in Harry Potter? We bought our son a box of them when he was 3 or 4. He sat there and chewed on bacon, black pepper, baby powder, sardines, and soap, and though his face told us differently, he would not admit that they were gross. I swear, as long as it falls under the heading 'candy'...kids will eat it.

Of course candy isn't health food, that's no secret. Unfortunately, reading the labels on candy is a necessary evil. Besides the sugar, the fat, the fat on your body from the sugar, the cavities, your kids with a sugar-buzz...these are all good reasons to not eat it. Now add in hydrogenation, HFCS, BHT, ridiculous amounts of food colorings, and who knows what else, and it turns into an even bigger problem. Combine this with the 'fake' stuff - that chocolate-flavored lard I mentioned - and we're talking disgust-o-rama. You know what's funny though? People keep buying it. Companies keep making it. Have they even tried this stuff? I would think - even hope - not.

As many of your kids probably do, my kids get multiple Easter baskets. The first came this past weekend, and my friend's kids got their firsts last weekend. Coloring books, stickers, beach towels (my request, aren't I brilliant?!), some little toys and stuff. A chocolate bunny, and one for each of them...FULL BAGS of Hershey's coconut cream-filled kisses and Reese's peanut butter eggs. My friends kids also got full bags of marshmallow eggs, Tootsie Rolls (who eats those?), and blow pops.

For mine, one bag each is really minimal considering what they've gotten in the past. Enter the Easter Egg Hunt. I ended up with a plastic grocery bag FULL of foil-wrapped 'chocolate' coins, shaped 'chocolate' with a picture on the foil, those little 'chocolate' eggs with the rice krispies in them, jelly beans and robins eggs, mini peanut butter cups and a variety of kisses. My husband ended up taking all this stuff to work. What a waste!

That is, of course, it went to work after I sorted it. You can't get rid of good chocolate and for the record, full-bags of peanut butter eggs must be confiscated immediately. Cadbury eggs? Hide 'em. See's Candy? You shouldn't have! (But I'm glad you did). Take it, stash it away for later.

You see, as long as kids aren't picky about their candy, there are certain types of candy that musn't be left in their hands. Some kids won't even differentiate between booger-flavor beans and normal ones...and waxy chocolate vs. Godiva? Forget it. They will gobble it up, heedless of the quality.

This year when your kids get their Easter baskets, don't let them open anything right away. Take it away, under the guise of sorting out the bad, hydrogenated, artificial garbage, sort out those quality candies and chocolates that only an adult connoisseur and consumer of 'the real stuff' can appreciate. Find a good spot and hide it, then dole it out to yourself over the next couple of weeks.

As long as the kids are left with a couple handfuls of the stuff they love, they will be thrilled. They don't need mass amounts. Remember when we were kids and we would trick or treat until 10 pm, and come home with a pillow case 3/4 full and so heavy we only came home cause we couldn't carry it anymore? I often wonder why our parents let us do that! We had candy for a YEAR, and anything that was left over by the next Halloween got thrown away, only cause there just wasn't room after bringing in the new haul. Not any more! My kids get to trick or treat for 2 or 3 hours, and whatever they get is what they get (after the adults pick out their favorites for 'the stash'), and it's not that much.

So, folks, here's what I charge you with: When the Easter baskets (or Halloween bag, or stocking of Christmas goodies) come in, it is your right as a parent to sort it into three sections. To the left set aside the really gross stuff, the over-colored, overly artificial, not-even-food-anymore garbage, then throw it away or send it to work before the kids even have a chance to miss it. To the right set aside the really good stuff that your non-discriminating candy-gobblers won't miss anyway, and hide it away in your stash. Whatever is left in the middle is theirs to keep. Everybody wins.

You can thank me later...just send chocolate and I'll understand.

Who are you, anyway?

2011-04-10T15:23:00.000-05:00

As many are, my business is about people. I also like to get in other people's business, but that's neither here nor there. My business is to help people get as healthy as possible, educate them so they make better choices, and heckle them incessantly until they listen to me. FYI, I like being listened to.

Part of the social marketing training process is to figure out your 'sphere of influence'. This is anyone and everyone that you 'touch'. NO, you perv, not literally. If your life touches their life in some way, they can be counted in your sphere. Most of us have several hundred people we can count, whether we realize it or not. Family, friends, co-workers, those are just the obvious. The ones you might not think of...the lady at the post office, the one that stands behind you at Body Pump and admires your triceps, the cashier at the grocery store. People that you don't even know their name, or in some cases, what they look like. Lots of people, lots and lots, influencing each other all over the place.

What we directly or indirectly influence people to do is a big part of who we are. So, who are you? And, now that you know that you have the potential to influence so many...what would you influence them to do?

Be trendy and wear particular clothes, or a particular bag. Use a particular type of cell phone. Wear a particular brand of work out clothes. Walk a certain dog wearing a certain sweater on a particular street? Maybe, but these things we can do without trying, and without making the other person's life any better or any worse. I'm not a big fan of small dogs so I'd have to say maybe in the case of the dog it would be worse, but whatever.

How about if you set out specifically to influence people to only buy certain types of food or start a healthy eating plan? Or to start a workout program? It would probably improve the person's quality of life, and there you go being influential in a GOOD way. Nice job, you!! Doesn't it feel good?!

That's why I do what I do. It makes me feel good. It's part of who I am and I spread it around like butter, on everyone and everything I touch. Shut up, that's not gross. Our sphere of influence grows and changes all the time. The opportunities that come up with these changes are invaluable to us, no matter what we are influencing. I want to be sure that I am influencing positively, and I hope you do too. Of course, being in business, there are business aspects to influencing my sphere too.

I was at a Shaklee event this past weekend where there were 12 guests, all part of my sphere. They listened and learned, and bought a bunch of stuff that will improve their quality of life. I'm influencing people in a very positive way that makes them feel good and be healthier. They will tell their families and friends, go to work and tell their co-workers, and onward and upward it grows and grows. That's how I've grown my business as much as I have and have the success that I do, and you could too, by the way. Sphere of influence! And I can say with satisfaction that I'm a pretty darn good influence. Who. I. Am.

So, have you figured it out yet? You've got to be careful with this, cause it's a powerful tool - use the power of your sphere for good not evil! If you would...think about it. Then answer the question, and be sure to tell me cause inquiring minds want to know.

Who are you, anyway?

Your Garbage is My Pleasure

2011-04-06T13:40:00.000-05:00

To my husband's irritation and annoyment, I am a big fan of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. My insistence on recycling every scrap of recyclable anything is a common recipient of 'the eye roll' and 'the exasperated sigh'. Where we live we have those huge garbage and recycling cans, and everything goes into the one huge can that then gets emptied once a week. Unfortunately, our recycling only gets emptied once every OTHER week. Not cool for the obsessive recycler. We had to have a second giant recycle can delivered, lest I throw away something recyclable and not be able to sleep at night.

An even bigger source of husband irritation and annoyment than my obsessive recycling is my love of all things reused or repurposed. There is no end to the ways things can be used for something other than their original intended purpose! A trowel for a coat hanger, a hay fork for a trellis, a piss-pot for a compost bucket, a yoke for a curtain rod. These things all might sound absurd to you, but to me...they are bliss. If they do sound absurd to you, damn you!, you are not alone. My husband would heartily concur. He calls my treasures 'junk'. How dare he! Only I am allowed to call it junk.

My most recent acquisition is this beautiful old cement wash basin. I saw it posted on my local Freecycle and couldn't resist. Told the husband about it and what I wanted to do, and he played along pretty well until we got there...and saw how monstrously huge this thing is. These poor people had this 500 lb monstrosity taking up valuable real estate in their basement. I mean, how the heck do you move something like that? Back in the day they probably had to build the house around this thing, it's so huge. And, I must add...gorgeous.

Double basin, steel lined, amazingly patinaed cement.

Husband is giving me the 'run, quick!' eye, but I hardly notice as I am deep in thought about the potential of this behemoth. This thing is going to be the best. Flower. Box. Ever. The homeowner even brilliantly pointed out that each side has its own little drain, so drainage for a planting wouldn't be a problem at all. If my husband could shoot daggers out of his eyes....

Naturally it couldn't be moved that day, we needed much more muscle involved. The homeowner's pick-up, a couple of borrowed mercenaries, a smashed finger and a dirty jacket later, and it is in my yard in all its aged gargantuan glory. And it will be glorious. Mark my words.

For some reason, my reasonable husband seems to be under the impression that my new cement friend will 'junk up' the yard. Huh? I think not. Let's be realistic here...this is an old farmhouse, not some McMansion with $20,000 landscaping. An old cement wash-basin as a flower box fits right in, next to the hay fork, tractor seat, hand-push lawnmower, and don't forget the old hand-made swingset! It's all about vision, and that's something I've got and he doesn't. His vision is clouded by trips to the curb and navigating through a crowded garage.

I mean, hello!! Did I mention I am REUSING this item? Keeping it out of a landfill, like the good little green girl I am. It's not just my personal vintage style, it's my personal philosophy!

Earth: Without it, we'd be aliens

2011-03-31T09:27:00.000-05:00

As you are hopefully aware, it is (almost) April, the official sponsor of Earth Day. Of COURSE I'm going to dedicate a blog to it. You do realize who you're dealing with here, right?

*Ahem* In honor of Earth Day, I thought it would only be appropriate to dedicate a blog to the blue planet; home to one and all of you, my lovely readers. Since it is so early in the month, if you haven't already thought of something earth-friendly that you and your family will do for Earth Day, now is the time to come up with something. Why not? It's a good learning experience, and any changes you make are only going to better everyone's quality of life. Being the green goddess I am, I am going to make a few suggestions. PICK ONE AND DO IT. Ya, that's right, I'm gettin' bossy. Don't make me come over there....

1. Still using those cruddy toxic cleaners? Well hello, have I not mentioned Shaklee? Come on, get with the program. Shaklee's Get Clean line is fabulous, cheap, and the stuff works great. You'll never go back to your smelly, asthma-inducing, cancer-causing, skin-removing toxic crap again. It's eco-friendly, made with corn and coconut surfactants, and you can literally throw your dirty mop water out in the yard and your grass will be greener. Plus, Basic H2 was the first official Earth Day product! It biodegrades in 30 days, the wipes are compostable, and did you know that Shaklee was the first company to offset all carbon emissions? Just flippin' try it, already.

2. You know you've got Rot Pot envy. Get yourself a Rot Pot. Seriously folks, start a compost!! You can get one of those barrel-type composters that fit in any yard, and reap the benefits all year long. It cuts down on garbage, and those of you who pay for garbage stickers should appreciate that. Use the compost on your vegetable garden, and oh my, will you be glad you did it. My tomato plants get as tall as me!! It's easy, cheap (after the initial investment of the barrel), and worth it. My pile is free...just fenced in with chicken wire on the side of my yard.

3. Are you recycling? NO?! Get your building, neighborhood or town to start. You'll be everyone's hero, and who doesn't love a little hero-worship? It's the 2000's, after all, everyone should be recycling. It feels terrible to me to throw away, or see someone throw away, recyclable items. I can't handle it. I'm the kook digging in the garbage cans, taking home the recyclables so they don't end up in a landfill. If we (planet Earth) continue the way we are going, imagine what life will be like for our grandchildren! Full. Of. Garbage. Is that what you want for them? Ya, I didn't think so. There's an activist in all of us, now get out there and activate it!

4. Your community won't support recycling cause you live in the boonies? REUSE. Make some stuff and start a little business. I've seen some great businesses online where people are cleaning up selling things made from reused items. Mason jar chandeliers (very Pottery Barn!) go for a couple hundred bucks! Knitted items from grocery bags, felted yarn goods from thrift store sweaters, endless items made from old reclaimed wood. Get creative, it's a great outlet, and if you can make some dough doing it, kudos to you.

5. Did you know that if you measured and added up all the energy-escaping cracks in your home, it would on average add up to a hole 3 FEET in diameter?! The cold is still here and the inevitable summer heat is coming. It's never too early or too late to make your home more efficient. Quit being such a primadonna, lower your thermostat and put on a sweater! Fill those cracks in your home where cold air comes in or goes out, put in some new insulation, get some thermal shades. Check your water heater, furnace and chimney, and if you're due and able, replace those old appliances. If nothing else, you could be saving a boatload of money by keeping a tighter ship.

6. Buy local. Eat less meat. Support companies and buy products that support the environment, and don't fall for 'greenwashing'. Grow a vegetable garden. Use reusable bags. Turn off the dang lights. Only run your washer and dishwasher when full - a full dishwasher is more efficient than washing the equivalent amount by hand! Be conscious of how wasteful we all are.

I think that last one hits the nail on the head, don't you? BE CONSCIOUS. Pay attention to what you're doing, because in the long run it affects us all. I could go on and on, but you know what to do. We've only got one earth, and we better take care of it. Even if our generation doesn't reap the fruits of our labors, future generations will appreciate what we've done to preserve what we can. After all, what would we do without Earth?

The Clock is Always Ticking

2011-03-29T11:34:00.000-05:00

I've been MIA. No blog, no Facebook posts, no tweets. My web presence has been nil. Neglecting my email, voice mail (not like that's anything new), even snail mail. Why? I wish I had a fantastic reason like I've been visiting Portugal or working for world peace or feeding the hungry. Nothing like that, though as it turns out, it is pretty fantastic.

Well jeez Bonnie, what HAVE you been doing? I've been collecting.

That's what this post is about. Collecting. It isn't green or nutritious, and it isn't fit or eco-friendly. You can print it out and compost it when you're done reading if you want, but I really wouldn't want you to waste the paper.

This post is about time, and friends, and homework for parents. And collecting. Yes, collecting.

I have found that I'm not the best time-manager, but I'm working on it. Making schedules, planning my days, setting aside time to do the stuff I need to be doing to move onward and upward. It's definitely helping! My business coach recommended that I make a daily schedule for myself, down to the hour, for the things I have to get done or want to do get done. An hour here for this, two hours there for that, and I am more productive than ever. THAT, my friends, is for the things I can anticipate and control. Sometimes stuff comes up that we have to address, and I find that I fall into this black hole of time-sucking frenzy.

One of my biggest time consumers recently has been 'The Kenosha Project'. My son is in third grade, and apparently every third grader in the Kenosha area gets to do this project. There are a few options of different types of projects the kids can choose from but by far the most popular one is to tour the area, taking pictures and gathering information, and then put the report together in scrapbook form. Unfortunately, driving around town is not something a 3rd grader can do on their own.

At first I really resented that this project had the requirements that it did because of the time involved. This is the kind of stuff I fondly refer to as 'parent homework'. We were provided with a list of places to go to, and spent 2 whole days and part of another just driving around town from place to place. (That's not including the time to put the report together! Hours!) We visited museums, memorials, statues, and signs. Found inscriptions and gravestones, got stickers and collected clues. Somewhere along the way it started turning into more of a scavenger hunt than an assignment. We worked as a little team to beat the clock. It was fun, and it was quality time. Sure, it was educational, but the education part of it kind of took a back seat to the experience itself. Taking silly pictures of my kid strategically placed to look like he is holding up the Jelly Belly jelly bean, or stopping at a long-time local drive-in for cheeseburgers and root beer floats - the boy even bought us lunch! We ended up having a great time together, collecting memories and experiences I will treasure and relive every time I open that scrapbook or revisit one of the many area sites.

Inevitably, the time came to put the report together. I'm not a scrapbooker, nor am I exceptionally creative where visual arts are concerned, so needless to say my plan wasn't beautiful. The boy is certainly no help in this department...he doesn't even like to do his regular homework, let alone some gorgeous scrapbook that takes hours if not days to put together.

My plan - what would have ultimately ended up as a total disgrace to the experience - was construction paper, hand-written descriptions, a picture, glue, hole punch, yarn, done. If we happened to pick up anything else on the way, we could include that too. Brochures, booklets, souvenirs of any kind. Glue it on the paper, tie the papers together, and call it a report. It's the information that's important, right? Ya, so NOT.

In the thick of putting this report together I told my friend about what I was having the boy do. She has a 4th and a 5th grader, and two Kenosha reports already under her belt. Throw in a little scrapbooking, and we have ourselves one talented friend. She must have been cringing at my description, and I'm sure her hands shook as she texted me to bring the stuff over - she would help. NOW. That tone came through text loud and clear.

Lucky for me she has a touch of craft-supply-hoarding, so she was well prepared with punch-out paper letters in every color of the rainbow and every font. Little decorative stickers, glue pens, and tabs to put on the back of the pictures, an awesome binder that the pages came out of, background paper, even a little tool to round out edges, fancy scissors. I was definitely out of my element, and basically just followed her directions. We spent hours of cropping, measuring, matching colors and making layouts, gluey fingers and eyestrain, it came together. Needless to say, thanks to her the report turned out great, and time spent with a friend is always good. More collecting.

But let me tell you, he better get an A++ cause damn it I'm 36 and I can do the work of a 3rd grader well, thank you very much.

We all like to be rewarded or recognized for time spent and a job well done just as much as the next guy. But as parents, or small business owners, or housewives, or any combination thereof, our rewards can be a little different. Our kid gets a good grade or a 1st place and its a reward for us too, no doubt. But what about all the time spent driving people around, sitting through sports practice and games, grocery shopping and errand running? I reward myself with backed up laundry and a dirty kitchen floor. But it's ok, cause in the end its all for the greater good.

This past weekend was spent going to and from Pennsylvania for a taekwondo tournament. Nine hours there, nine hours back. Out of 5 kids there were half-dozen 1st places, twice as many 2nds, 3rds and 4ths, good sportsmanship and support, hours of conversation and silliness. A long drive? Yes. But the collection of memories and experiences from this weekend was well worth it.

I promise to manage my time better so I can help myself too, because it's all really a big circle, isn't it? We help ourselves and therefore help them, and by helping them we help ourselves. We collect joy from their successes, and hugs and snuggles and tears from their not-so-successes. We get satisfaction from our own accomplishments, and when we've accomplished what we planned we feel better about the time we've spent and have more to offer them when it's their time.

I promise to stop and think about the experience and what we've all reaped from it before I complain about how much time it took. Time flies by us, but we really need to stop and look at what we've collected along the way, cause the collection is really the whole point.

The Ghosts of Products Past

2011-03-01T12:56:00.000-06:00

As I am sure many of you did, I grew up with bleach, ammonia, Tide, Downy, Mr. Bubble, and Twinkies. Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies were the best, and who can forget your mom's Diet Chocolate Fudge Soda, chock full of artificial sweeteners and who knows what else. Remember getting the first Equal gumballs in the newspaper insert? I do, and I ate the first one (and I still don't like aspartame). The tub got scrubbed with the worst of the worst cleaners, and then we soaked up the residue in our baths. Baby powder fights, weird concoctions of lotions to slather on, bare hands touching chemicals of all kinds. To compound my chemical exposure, when I was a teenager I got a job at a pet store. Every day, I would go in and bleach the heck out of the puppy kennels...with bare hands, inhaling the fumes. But we all turned out ok, didn't we?

Ok, let's not actually answer that.

The first green products I learned about were for cleaning. One day I was bleaching my kitchen floor...the next day I was packing up all the toxic stuff and sending it off to the garage. I started using Seventh Generation, Method, Green Works, and a few others. They were expensive and not usually effective, but I was dedicated to using green products and stuck with them. (This was before I discovered Shaklee).

Very shortly after my cleaning product revelation came my enlightenment about personal products. I packed up all our Pantene, Bath & Body Works, Johnson's and whatnot, and offered the fuller bottles to my mom and sister. What they didn't absorb (no pun intended) got squirted into the garbage or the toilet, and the bottle recycled. Ya, seriously, I stood there and emptied each bottle so I could recycle it. Who DOES that? Anyway, I was left with a few items I couldn't get rid of 'just in case' and of course I get stuff now and then that I'll never use...whether by gift or freebie or whatever. These unusables get stashed away and forgotten.

In my quest to replace everything we ever use anywhere, there was definitely a trial and error process. There have been numerous natural products that have not worked out, and end up sitting in a cabinet or closet. Just because it's natural or non-toxic doesn't mean it's going to work or be the right product for us. The Beebs and I found that out the hard way. After a very scary incident with an allergic reaction to the 'Fragrance' in a Burt's Bees baby wash (97.3% natural!), and a very humorous incident (I wasn't the one laughing) with a face wash/lotion for me where I ended up looking like I had lobster-red sunburn on my face, I realized that not everything from the health food store is going to automatically be the right product.

So the question is: Where do your abandoned products go?

Well, I suppose we can call it the product graveyard. I've definitely got one and to my husband's chagrin it is in the garage. A big old cardboard box full of Windex, bleach, wipes, bathroom cleaners, kitchen cleaners, floor cleaners and more; all full of the type of chemicals that I do NOT allow in my house anymore. Pretty much all my Shaklee cohorts have a similar box in their garage. And those personal products...? Lucky for me I've got a little extra storage space in the bathroom closet. I'll never use that paraben-laden sunscreen on the kids, or the lotions, or makeup, or hair products, but there it sits. I don't even use perfume, though I have half-dozen bottles of it sitting in the closet.

Crazy, you say? I'll admit to a little crazy. But the thing is...I've done a lot of research on this stuff. I might seem paranoid or over-the-top to some, and others might say they are way too attached to their signature fragrance or mascara or favorite bathroom cleaner to ever give it up. Fine. I'm not trying to convince you to give up what you love. Do what you want. But be informed about what it is you are bringing into your home or putting on your body, especially if you have kids at home. I could use this opportunity to tell you how great and green and non-toxic everything Shaklee makes is and how that's mostly what we use now, but me selling you better products is not the point here.

The point is simply: When you've come to your senses and learned enough about the ill-effects chemicals can have on your family's health, and you replace all your bad stuff with good stuff, there is a solution for all those unused products! And it's not that you have to stand at your garbage can squirting out six bottles of Johnson's baby lotion!

The easiest and most economical way to get rid of these chemicals is to use them up. Then you can recycle the bottle and be done with it. If you don't want to do that, and I don't blame you for not, read on.

Toxic products can't actually be recycled, per se. Disposing of chemicals improperly can cause a lot of environmental problems like soil and water contamination...check out what happens from chemical runoff. You can take your stuff to a hazardous waste collection facility, or most communities often host events for gathering all the unwanted products...and some even do it year-round. Contact your village or your local solid waste or sanitation department to find out when and where you can take yours. Hopefully there isn't some dude in each town with a garage full of cardboard boxes...

For anyone who didn't notice the first time...let me point out that these products are considered hazardous waste! If they have to be taken to a hazardous waste collection facility to be disposed of...why are you using them in your home?!?!

To find out what products are bad, check out this awesome glossary, or visit EWG and Cosmetics Database. To get the green and non-toxic products that you now know are much better for you, go here. My intention is to educate you about healthier products so you can make better choices. If your choices include Shaklee, great. If not, that's ok too. I am just as happy hearing that you learned something here and will stop using the toxic chemicals you've read about!!

Stow High In Transit

2011-02-23T11:06:00.005-06:00

I received an email the other day about a very well-known four-letter word, that is actually an acronym. I read the email, gave it a raised eyebrow-shrug-hmmm and deleted it and moved on. But ever since, I've been thinking about it. Yep, I've been thinking about S.H.I.T.

A little history lesson first: A zillion years ago when manure used to be transported by ship, it would be dried out and packed so it was nice and light. Well, naturally once the sturdy wooden ship hit the roiling seas, the manure would inevitably get wet, causing all kinds of bloaty, smelly, even explosive problems. So, those smarty sailors started posting signs that said Stow High In Transit... as in keep it off the floor of the boat. Voila, the creation of shit. I mean S.H.I.T. Is it a true story? Like it matters. It works for me, and its about to work for you, too.

So, speaking of all things poo...

If you have a pet, I'm sure you've seen all the lovely organic products you can bestow on them. Natural cat litter for your kitty's delicate pee-pee, 'natural' dog food (good luck with that one, I can't even feed my kid organic cereal), I even pondered the possibility of organic cardboard for my daughter's guinea pig.

I've tried a couple of these products, but always seem to revert back to good old Purina. Yes, animal lovers, I know. Shut up.

A couple years ago I got a great deal on this cat litter made from corn by-products. It advertised no dust to choke you and your poor kitty, biodegradable, no scent to irritate, yada yada. I had a wicked coupon, so it was a done deal. Took my 2 bags of natural kitty litter home, feeling all like such a good pet owner and all self-satisfied with my organicalism. I get this stuff home and fill the litter box with it, and almost barf my guts out at how bad this stuff smells. And this is BEFORE there was any poo in it! Fresh out of the bag and this stuff was already wretched. It was definitely a source of contention with the other members of my household until it was gone. So I guess I'm scarred for life, cause I haven't tried 'natural' litter since.

Moving on.

I love my dog. She's a 10 year old boxer named Stella, she has a big weird bumpy lumpy thing on her butt cheek, she has the worst breath in the world, and some of her bottom teeth stick out over her lip. She's got a great smile! I think she may be at least half goat, cause she'll eat anything (except natural dog food). She'll eat pretty much everything else. Come to think of it, I think boxers are probably descended from goats and deer. Any boxer-parent knows what I'm talking about. Anyway, she's gorgeous and she is the best dog ever ever in the world and that's not just cause she's mine. If you met her you'd like her better than your dog too.

See what I mean? Don't be jealous, and no you can't have her.

Except for this one little problem...well, ok there's many. But here are two of the most relevant:

1. She's really bad for my indoor air quality. Her gas...oh God. Is this due to the un-organic food I give her? Am I ruining her poor little body cause I'm too cheap to let Paul Newman feed her? I've tried the natural stuff on her...not even close. Boxers have very expressive faces. One look from Stella and it's all over...you know exactly what she's thinking and it is clearly that there is no way she was going to eat that particular food. Good intentions aside, I'm not going to spend a lot of money on dog food that my dog won't eat. Simple. End of story.

2. Stella thinks that the cat's litter box is her own personal cookie jar. Time for a litter fritter, Stella? This certainly doesn't help with the breath situation. What's a dogmom to do? I mean, I feed the cats (very) un-organic food, and I use that dusty, perfumey, cruddy litter! If it's good enough for my dog to sneak off, tiptoe (yes, she tiptoes!) over to the laundry room to quietly rummage through the box for her little morsel of goodness, and risk getting in trouble cause you KNOW mama's got ears like a hawk...the cat food must be pretty darn good.

So, it comes around again - am I damaging my pets by not feeding them organic and letting them pee on recycled newspaper or vegetable by-products? I don't know. I mean, I hope not. But the stuff is expensive, and you know how it is when you change your pet's food...there's no guarantee they're going to eat it. My BFF tried to feed her cats this fancy food with mini-shrimp and gravy and stuff...they tried to bury it like it was a turd. Lucky for my friend she got it for free and wasn't out any money.

I've heard people say some natural or safe cat litters are great, and I'm sure they are. For those people. I've heard of people who feed their dogs all 'real food' like raw meat and rice and whatnot. That is some dedicated dog-parenting, I tell ya. Good for them, huh?! But I'm not gonna do it. Maybe one of these days I will find another coupon and get one of those healthier pet products for cheap, we'll all love it, Stella will even love it a second time around, and me and my zoo will live happily ever after. But for now - or until I win the lottery and hire my pets a personal chef and maid - I will have to stick with what I can afford and what doesn't offend my senses any more than necessary.

Sorry, pets....I do love you!! Now come here and let me squeeze the S.H.I.T. out of you!!

Post Script: I just realized that there is something eco-friendly I do for my dog. I wash her in Basic H2!! You know, Shaklee's organic cleaning concentrate that cleans everything you could ever imagine, including your pets. Yay, I'm a good dogmom after all!!

Open Mouth, Insert Plastic

2011-02-20T15:07:00.000-06:00

Some time ago...at least a couple years now...I heard that microwaving food in plastic containers could cause cancer. I don't even remember where I heard it or read it, but whatever it was was enough for me. I immediately stopped heating food in the microwave on or in plastic. Now of course, we know so much more about the whole plastic issue, different types of plastic, leaching, BPA, and all that. Yes, some of it may be potentially safe to microwave, and yes, there's some controversy about water bottles in cars causing breast cancer and stuff, but better to be safe than sorry, I say!

Thinking about all this new information, I am amazed that my kids don't at least have a fine coating of plastic on them from all the crap they've probably ingested. My son at least, since he's been around longer...the poor kid used to drink out of BPA-full Avent baby bottles that I put directly in the microwave to warm up the water for his (non-organic!) formula *gasp!*. I think about it all the time and feel guilty that I didn't know then what I know now, and I often wonder if any of those old life-style habits had any impact on him. Like, when he throws a temper tantrum I get these crazy ideas that its because his Hamburger Helper (yuck!) was microwaved on a Star Wars plate back in the day, or when he completely covered his face with my nasty MAC lipstick that he absorbed the chemicals and it addled his brain. No, I know it didn't, but as a mom I can't help but to feel guilty and wonder.

Lucky for her, the beebs is a bit of a lower-risk kid. I nursed her till she was 14 months, and by the time she started eating regular food I think I had probably done away with most of the plastic. I hope. But then I start thinking about how I gorged myself on Hostess cupcakes while I was pregnant with her, and it starts all over again....

Well THAT'S a whole other blog. Stay with me here...

I always grocery shop with one of my BFFs. We pick out the healthiest options all over the store, pass our knowledge of ingredients back and forth, and know that if one of us is buying a particular brand that the label has been read and it is a safe choice. We are also both fully aware that the wonderful men in our lives often have to be silenced with artificially colored, flavored, or hydrogenated bribes.

The other day BFF and I were in the freezer section at Woodman's, fulfilling my husbands order for what I call 'shitty freezer food'. (What can I say...his desire for crap is strong. Or in his words 'That's why I take vitamins Bonnie, so I can eat this stuff cause it's good.') Sale labels naturally caught my eye, so BFF and I start investigating the freezer case that contains the Boston Market frozen entrees. This is relatively unfamiliar territory for both of us, and it's a bit of a novelty, so we jump right in and start making fun of it while I pick out a couple things.

BFF picks up a lovely box with a picture of gravy-smothered chicken-fried steak, perfectly crisp-tender beans, and slow-roasted potatoes. It's amazing, isn't it? That they make such wonderful, special, homemade food, pack it all up for you, and sell it for 2/$5? Oh! Be still my heart! As we stand there admiring this wonder of convenience food, she notices and proceeds to point out to me that Boston Market freezer entrees are now Eco-Friendly! Imagine our sarcasm-laced excitement.

'OOOOOH!! How CUUUUTE!!!', I gush.

She continues to read, 'NEW TRAY MADE FROM 40% LESS PLASTIC THAN BEFORE'. Wow! So, you'll die 40% slower than you would have before, sweet! Sold! I put the items in my cart, wrap up the shopping trip and take my goodies home to show my husband what I bought him.

Naturally, this starts another conversation...or more like him making fun of me...about the plastic issue. One of the many 'kooky' things I do is to take the few 'microwave in container' foods we get OUT of the container and put them on a glass plate to microwave them. Kooky, I know. And so does my husband, so there is no end to how much I get made fun of. It's ok though, he can make allll the fun he wants because little does he realize that I often switch out ingredients and add extra little healthy tidbits to his food to try and counteract all the bad stuff he consumes. Oh, whoops. I guess the cat's out of the bag. *evil grin*

When he's giving me crap, one of my husband's favorite sayings with a big eye-roll is 'you can't boil the ocean, Bonnie', jokingly insinuating that everything I do is absolutely pointless. We have a friend who insists that no matter what we do we will all die of ass-cancer, so let's all enjoy ourselves and eat shitty food and not take vitamins and not recycle so we can all die happy and unburdened and not inconvenienced in any way. Apparently, my healthy greenness is a never-ending source of entertainment for those who love to give people crap. It's ok, I can handle it. (To my husband's credit, he does take his vitamins, he does acknowledge that some of his choices are NOT good, and like the confident man he is he has no problem making fun of himself. He even suggested I photograph his microwave dinner the other night cause he knew I was going to make fun of it in this blog! What a guy.)

Well, it's past lunch time and the smells from the kitchen are making my stomach growl. No worries, I will NOT be microwaving anything on plastic. A non-GMO veggie burger on a multi-grain sandwich bun for me, please. I'll also be drinking perfectly purified water from my Shaklee Get Clean water filtration pitcher, cause it's BPA-free.
That's right; La. Dee. Da. That's how I like it.

Do me a favor though, next time you are going to microwave something in plastic...switch it to a non-plastic plate. You can make fun of me all you want but just do it, and know that at least it won't come back to bite you in the ass!

Organicalize: It's a made-up word.

2011-02-16T11:09:00.000-06:00

I try to buy organic. Period.

My grocery bill is generally higher than need be, but the health benefits of buying organic...yada yada yada we all know what they are. But, I am also (relatively) normal and not made of money, so when it's between spending $4.99 and $1.79...guess what wins out. I do what I can, but some prices are just absurd and I refuse to pay them. I often end up switching out the organic product I chose for the much cheaper regular version, and end up with probably 50% of my groceries actually being organic, and the other half being 'normal'.

Rest assured, I am still out there reading labels like a madwoman on the non-organic stuff.

I was informed the other day that organic cereal is 'gross' and will not be eaten. Why is it gross? Because it's organic. Oh, right, of course! Duh, it's so obvious. I mean come on, really? But being the perceptive mom I am, it didn't take me long to figure out exactly what's going on here. This is interesting considering my last blog was about how hateful my kids feel about the hot lunch at school. Apparently, BREAKFAST is where it's at. Yes, Breakfast At School, provided by the same folks who think mini corn dogs are nutritious and tater tots are a vegetable, is corrupting my child.

Our school is on this lunch card program that is hooked up to your credit card and gets refilled when it gets too low. I get periodic emails saying that my payment has been approved, a card has been refilled. The kids do buy their lunches sometimes, and it adds up, right? Well, shame on you mom, you should have kept better track of whose card was being refilled more often. Two words...THE BOY. The boy has been taking himself out to breakfast a couple mornings every week.

A couple weeks ago, he came home with a Hostess-like cherry pie. More recently, he came home with a gooey Honey Bun. I barfed a little in my mouth when he ate it. (Yes, I let him eat it. Everything in moderation, right?). He told me this was leftover from breakfast and he was able to take it home. Uh, yuck, why would they be serving that stuff for breakfast at school?! Here and there, when we have an especially rushed morning I will approve a trip to the cafeteria. This boy is VERY hard to feed, and breakfast at home is always an interrogation and may involve force-feeding and threats. When rushed, it is impossible to get food into this unwilling child. I would rather he ate something than nothing, so fine, go to the cafeteria. But now I am seeing how this little convenience is totally working against me and The Greater Good. He won't eat organic cereal at home because he has now sampled the pleasures that are Froot Loops and Lucky Charms and the like. The organic cereal I buy can hardly hold up to those...it's practically twigs and leaves in comparison.

I admit sometimes I get carried away. I buy some weird stuff, like veggie cheese or soy sausage or tofu hot dogs; stuff that there is no way anyone else here will even attempt to choke down just on principle, and I get that and don't blame them (too much). I even had a stray thought the other day about giving our guinea pig cardboard to chew on and wondering if there was organic cardboard...no worries, I ended that thought process pretty quickly. But I've tried those organic cereals, and they are good. I mean, how badly can you screw up cinnamon toast crunch?

Maybe what it comes down to is that the boy is prejudiced against organics. I have so much trouble feeding this child and we get in so many arguments about him not eating, or what he's eating or what he wants or likes or dislikes or whatever that maybe he's traumatized. Somehow he's come the the conclusion that all the food in our house is gross, so is it that off-the-wall to think that he believes anything organic is gross? Does that even make sense? What's a mom to do?

So, when you see me in the cereal aisle picking out ridiculously sugary, artificially flavored and colored cereals...don't be alarmed. I may have come up with a solution. I'm thinking about taking those cereals home and switching out their inner bags with some lovely bark, twig, and pebble cereal from the organic aisle. I thought I was above trickery, but I'm not. Not where nutrition is concerned. Some peoples kids eat healthy stuff willingly, and some peoples kids sneak off to breakfast at school and stuff their pockets with cherry pies and honey buns. I will not be outsmarted by a 9 year old. Lucky for me I've learned a few tricks along the way. Let's see how long it takes him to figure this one out...

Hot MAHMA!!

2011-02-10T09:26:00.001-06:00

I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 7 years. Sometimes I question my sanity, but mostly I am just glad that I'm here. For us there have been some challenges financially, but we've made it this far. Actually, in general we are all lucky that we've made it this far, because there are days...oh, there are days where everyone better just count their blessings that they lived through it...

As a SAHM I cook, clean, schedule, run taxi service, decorate, undecorate, bathe people, clothe people, treat what ails them, etc. etc. whatever. It's what I do and it takes me all day. Even though I worked for almost two years after the boy was born, I still can't imagine how the moms out there who have full-time jobs get everything done on top of working. Kudos to you, ladies!

One of the things I've done over the years is try and make (or save) money anywhere I can to help our family finances. I could probably dedicate another whole blog to my home business mis-adventures. I've watched kids, done Tupperware, ebay, crafting, couponing on a massive scale, etc. I have to laugh when I think of how many ads in newspapers I've seen for work from home jobs that are total scams, or internet sites about how you can make jillions of dollars by following their simple system...just spend $500 on their package to learn how! Assemble crafts at home for $350 a week, or stuff envelopes, or something equally too good to be true. Be a secret shopper! Or internet jury! It was fun, but none of these things lasted very long or made enough money, though I do still find myself selling stuff on ebay just cause I like it, and I've got a listing on Amazon, too.

When the boy was in kindergarten three years ago, I discovered Shaklee. Since I was already using green and non-toxic products and trying to make money from home, it seemed like a perfect fit. I got the business presentation, tried a couple of the cleaning products, and I was IN. The difference between this stuff and the 'green' products I was using from the grocery store is like night and day. I used to pay $4.79 for a very popular brand of non-toxic cleaner that didn't really work all that well. Then I moved to paying $2.79 for a different, yet equally popular brand of so-called green cleaner which worked better, but that I later found out was 'green-washed'. Then I tried Shaklee's all-purpose cleaner to the tune of about 10 cents a bottle, and it cleaned circles around the other stuff while at the same time being green and non-toxic and cheap and just freaking all-around lovely. By the way, YES I said 10 CENTS per bottle.

Since I became a Project MAHMA mom and been working my business part-time with one or both kids at home, and I've been making a decent amount of extra money. Now that both of my kids are in school full-time (GOD BLESS whoever created all-day kindergarten) I need to justify my presence at home all day a little more heavily, so I've revised my plan and created my goals. Three years later, my Shaklee business is on fire, I'm still at home, and I'm significantly contributing to our household finances. Maybe not full-time corporate job $$ yet, but it will be, and it won't take me too much longer to get there either. At this point, I don't intend to EVER go back to work. And at the rate I'm going I won't have to.

Some people really love their jobs that they do outside of their homes. Some people don't. I've never been good at taking orders or doing what other people wanted me to and I can't honestly say that looking back on any of the jobs I've had that I was ever a very good employee. But I am my own best employee, now!

I'm my own boss too. I'm really good at it and I'm a pretty darn cool boss if I may say so myself. You can ask my kids how good I am at bossing them around, they'll tell you. Heck, if the kids aren't home all day for me to boss around, who else am I going to tell what to do?

Now, somebody go make me a reuben!!

The Great Lunch Debate

2011-02-01T19:33:00.000-06:00

I pack my kids lunches for school about half the time. The other days they buy it at school. There is a marked difference between what I pack and what the school serves. We have a large selection of lunch boxes with characters, and thermoses and flip-straw cups. Some days the school menu is just too good to pass up, so they buy it. It's ok. Everything in moderation.

I get the same complaints almost every 'cold-lunch' day; 'why can't we have white bread?', 'I want Capri Sun!', 'why do you buy such weird stuff?'. But when I'm packing, they get what I give them and that's that. I get pretty consistent resistance from the boy no matter what I'm serving, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He has actually said 'No thanks mom, I don't really like food'. On the opposite side of the spectrum, my beebs (the girl) is quite compliant and will eat just about anything.

Amazingly, both of my kids now have said to me recently that they don't like hot lunch at school, the food is gross, and probably hydrogenated. Yes, they actually said that! Hallelujah! Have they really been listening to me all along? They know the difference between a healthy lunch from home and the processed slop they serve the kids under the guise of 'healthy'! Hot lunch at school sure is convenient, but I can pack lunches, and I certainly won't cry about not having to spend that money - if both kids buy lunch, it's almost $5 a day!

It's interesting to me that a school lunch program considers processed butts-n-beaks chicken nuggets a healthy choice because they are 'breaded in whole grains'. Really? Whole grains, huh? Right-o, it must be health food! I mean, do they seriously consider french fries a vegetable?! Actually, ya. They do. This is a perfect example of why supplementing their (and our) diets with vitamins is so important. The food they serve through these programs is nutritionally insufficient, as is much of the food available to all of us. Modern mass production of food is not good for the nutritional content of that food...things are not the same as they were 50 years ago!

It's certainly no secret that many school lunch programs in this country are lacking in so many ways. The USDA guidelines are out of date and you know, I'm thinking that the organization as a whole could use an enema. Back when the guidelines were created - over a hundred years ago - malnutrition was the epidemic, not the obesity epidemic we face today. The current USDA guidelines also served the purpose of a marketing strategy to get people to support the agricultural industries. The industries might have needed the help back then, but I dare say they are a little more stable these days. Naturally the dairy and meat industries don't want you to decrease your consumption of their products, no matter how unhealthy it is for you or what doctors and scientists say are the correct amounts. It's a conspiracy, I tell you! Jamie Oliver, help us!

So, I ask the kids what kind of stuff I can pick up at the store to pack in their lunches, with 'healthy' being the underlying theme. I'm looking for some ideas of a couple different fruits, some sort of sandwich fixins, maybe veggies and dip, you know...veggie-tofu stir-fry in the thermos - ok, that last one may be getting a bit carried away, but I'm so excited about the kids volunteering to make healthier choices that my expectation meter is going through the roof.

The beebs tells me she doesn't care, as long as she can put it in her new Dora lunchbox. Wait...she wants to take her lunch because she wants healthier food, right? She really gets bent out of shape when something is hydrogenated, I mean, she's literally cried over Oreos so it couldn't possibly be just the lunchbox.

The boy says, 'I want a lunch like ______'s !'

Well now ______'s mom is a nurse, so of course I do a little internal jump for joy. A nurse knows about good nutrition, right?! I stand riveted, with a smile plastered on my face....

'His mom packs him a Slim Jim, a Ho-ho, a Hi-C juice box, and a piece of candy for dessert. I want that.'

Despite the questionable source for this information, my eyes roll back in my head, I go to my happy place and imagine that I end our conversation like this:

'Listen boy, you'll eat what I give you and you'll LIKE IT. I don't want to hear how the ass clowns at your lunch table make fun of you cause you're the only one eating brown bread, or the juice in your juice box is partly vegetables. Some day you'll thank me for not feeding you a pile of crap that rots your guts, makes you fat and gives you cancer! Now beat it, or I'll show you where you can put your Ho-hos!'

My head spins, and as I fade into unconsciousness I hear a dreamy sounding, 'yes, Mommy I'll eat it. I love it, Mommy, it's yummy! Can I have more green vegetables please, Mommy, they're my favorite.....'

Mummy Dearest

2011-01-27T11:00:00.001-06:00

We all know that processed convenience foods are not good for us. Right? RIGHT? Of course we know that. One of the reasons...as if we needed another...is preservatives. What I'm about to tell you, be it hearsay or not, may convince you to never eat another 'preserved' food again. Apparently, Americans consume so many preservative-laden foods each and every day that when we die, our bodies are not decomposing like they should. Everything about that is just GROSS.

Did you know that typical grocery store brands of vitamins are so full of synthetic ingredients, that when port-o-potty companies clean them out they find whole vitamins in the holding tanks? Those aren't the kind of vitamins I'd want to take. I mean, what's the point? I've heard the ridiculous argument before about why you shouldn't bother paying more for quality vitamins...the only difference it makes is that you have expensive pee. I guess the port-o-potty findings take that to a whole new level.

You know all those food packages and signs at fast-food restaurants that claim 'No Trans Fats!'? I'm sure you've seen them and been comforted by their presence. Did you know that when you eat a food that contains hydrogenated oils that when your body processes them they get turned into trans fats? Did you know? Well you do now. Nice marketing ploy guys, but we're on to you.

Don't fall for these advertising scams that claim 'corn sugar' (high fructose corn syrup) is a natural product. No it's not!! By whose freaking dumb ass standards??? Since HFCS has gotten such a bad rap, industry will try and cover their asses by changing the same to something so harmless sounding as 'corn sugar'. How dumb do they think we are? At this point I would hope that we are all aware of the damage that HFCS does to our bodies. If not, read up folks. Educate yourselves. However natural the (GMO, but that's a whole different blog) ingredients used to make HFCS or corn sugar started out, rest assured that by the time they make it onto the shelf in the grocery store they have been processed beyond the point that they can be recognized as a natural food item.

I repeat, educate yourselves. The government is not looking out for us. The FDA and USDA have taken on a whole new meaning in my vocabulary, and those letters stand for something I shouldn't write here. The best we can do is arm ourselves with knowledge. We can all be healthier, and it really doesn't mean making huge extreme changes. Pay attention to what you eat. Read labels in the grocery store and have a list of ingredients that you avoid. If that's too much work, then at least stick to the outer rim of the grocery and skip all the processed stuff in the middle. None of us needs it. I may have eaten a big, fat, beautiful reuben sandwich yesterday, but you bet it was organic pumpernickel bread, and organic 1000 Island, and organic sauerkraut. Maybe the ingredients aren't the healthiest to begin with, but splurging on a less than ideal meal once in a while isn't going kill you as long as you put it together with the best ingredients you can.

A friend of mine posted a blog today about how important it is that we take care of ourselves and I couldn't agree more. You're the only one of you there is and you've only got one body and it shouldn't end up mummified because of your diet. No one else is going to take care of it for you, so get to it!!

File Under H for Healthfood

2011-01-26T19:20:00.001-06:00

I don't use the word 'ginormous' lightly. In fact, I don't ever use it cause I don't like it. But it is the only word I can come up with appropriate and accurate enough to describe the size of the big, fat reuben sandwich that just came out of my panini maker. And I am going to eat every last gorgeous bite of it.

I saw a fitness tip written somewhere today that basically said if you aren't having the weight loss you want but are working out like a fiend, it could be because you are not taking in enough calories. Well how about that. So, either slow down on working out, or step it up in the eating department. Sounds good to me. I'm pretty sure that the idea is to eat healthy stuff like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, etc. But for some reason I think my body has gotten the wrong idea.

See, I love food. I eat just about anything, I'm not picky. There are certain things I purposely leave out of my diet, but it isn't because I don't like them. In fact, there really isn't much I don't like. Since I was little, I've always been easy with food...not like one of those kids who will only eat three things, and they're all...white, or breaded, or whatever. No sir, not me. So naturally as we get older, this could present a problem. Metabolism slows down, life picks up. We get busy with kids, jobs, life, and convenience foods get the better of us. We gain weight and it gets harder and harder to lose it. Hopefully we pick up a fitness program and stick to it. I have, and I'm loving it. I work really hard, and I feel good, and feel good about myself. Maybe I work really hard so I can eat whatever I want.

Last night when I got home from the gym after an hour long workout it was already waaaay past dinnertime. For so many reasons, after a workout I usually go for my recovery drink. Of course, I'm out of it. I need the calories, and considering the time of day I don't want anything too heavy. So instead of making another equally healthy choice, I go to the freezer and pull out the strawberry ice cream. There's this little voice in my head asking what the heck do I think I'm doing, don't do that! I shut the voice off and reach for the ice cream scoop. As the third pretty pink lump falls in bowl, my dear husband walks up. His eyebrows go up as I drizzle the bowl with chocolate syrup, and his mouth hits the floor as I reach for the can of whipped cream. He begins to comment on what I'm doing, and I simply tell him that he just better hope I keep working out.

Can we have ice cream for dinner? Who am I to say no? I'm just making sure I get enough calories to keep myself going. So now I've got this big, fat reuben willing to help me out. Musn't keep Reuben waiting!

Mom vs. Vomit

2011-01-25T16:42:00.002-06:00

Kids and cleaning products were made for each other. As were kids and candy, kids and puppies, kids and padlocks, kids and boarding schools.... *ahem* sorry, I got carried away. But seriously, what would one do without the other? My kids, as I'm sure yours are too, are capable of the most fantastic messes my imagination couldn't hope to compete with. The Cat in the Hat's got nothing on them. I always say crumbs seep out of their pores and they can destroy an entire room (that it took me 3 hours to make sparkle) in 3 minutes flat.

One of the most common things I come across in my daily cleaning is spots. Spots on the couch, spots on the carpet, spots on laundry. Some of those spots take more of the shape of intentional marker scribbles, but who's counting? So, I arm myself with cleaning products (non-toxic of course) and go to work removing spots from every surface. Another day, another load of laundry full of stains and spots. Lucky for me I have this Shaklee stuff called Nature Bright to remove the evidence of 'having a good time', as my mom always says. Without Nature Bright, a lot more stuff would go in the Goodwill pile because of stains. I am secure in the knowledge that there is not a spot I can't conquer with Nature Bright. I absolutely will not use chlorine bleach or any other stain removers (or cleaners, detergents, soaps, etc.) that will maim, directly or indirectly kill you, irritate the heck out of your skin, cause an asthma attack, or at the very least make your eyes water. I believe that last statement covers probably 95% of the stuff that is sold in grocery stores. Anyway...

As I mentioned in another post, my 9 year old son is involved in Taekwondo. This past weekend there was a tournament two states away from us, which involved about six hours of driving, an overnight stay with relatives and a 55 MPH ice rink commonly known as I-294.

The boy has participated in quite a few tournaments before, and never really had a case of 'the nerves'. That is MY job, and I do it well. So, what happened this past Saturday probably can't be explained away as nervousness. This was a smaller tournament than the last one and he felt very prepared for the events he participated in, even excited to compete in one particular event for the first time.

As we turn onto the street of the high school where the tournament took place, I hear a meek little 'Mom, I don't feel so good' from the back seat. I swear it was slow motion...I turn around in my seat while simultaneously asking 'Are you going to barf?' and grabbing the nearest plastic bag. I got it in his hands not a second too soon. Thinking it may have been nervousness, we sat in the car a few extra minutes for him to chill out (and see whether there would be a repeat), then headed inside. He seemed ok, if a little wigged out, and was even able to laugh about it a little. He managed to get through his first two events, even placing 2nd in one of them, before it was time to toss the cookies again. Thank goodness for extra large garbage cans on wheels.

His next two events were a couple hours away, so we bundled him up with our coats and he chilled out in a corner with a Sprite and some crackers to wait. One or two more trips to the garbage can and he seemed to really perk up, like whatever it was might have been out of his system. With the help of another TKD mom, we got him to agree to participate in one more event, which he did, and then we headed back to our relatives house an hour or so away. We hadn't quite turned into their subdivision when I heard the distinct sound of liquid hitting the bottom of a bag. A paper bag. That leaked. All over the seat and the stark white pants of his TKD leadership uniform, which ran us a cool $150. The poor kid had to strip in the car and hang around pants-less while I ran in the house to collect all our junk and bring him new clothes. Another hour or so car ride later and we're home in time for him to lose it again, this time into the kitchen garbage can.

The barfed-on TKD uniform pants came out of the wash sparkling clean and restored to their original bright white...or so I thought until I investigated the inside of the pants, and found the evidence that this really was a flu bug, and not a case of the nerves. But hey, what did I say about conquering stains? That's right. I'm not afraid. Already through the washer and dryer usually means an item is doomed, but not at my house!! And this is one stain there can't be ANY evidence left of, EVER. Nature Bright to the rescue once again.

So bring it on, life! Hit me with whatever stains you've got, I'll conquer them all - blood, sweat and tears...and vomit - and do it safely with non-toxic products. But really, I can wait quite a while before being put to the test again. At least until AFTER the next taekwondo tournament. And please, no blood!!

Getting the Axe

2011-01-18T10:31:00.001-06:00

A few years ago when I found out about dangerous chemicals in the home, aside from cleaning products, one of the first things I changed was the personal products we were using - shampoo, soap, lotions, etc. I was surfing one day and came across a website you've probably heard of by now - Environmental Working Group or EWG. These folks are fantastic and both their main and sister websites (Skin Deep Cosmetics Database) are so full of information, you could spend days just reading and reading. Which, I did. I read so much, used the database to search for the products I had at home to see their safety levels, read about which ingredients to avoid, etc. I armed myself with knowledge that I have been using ever since.

I am careful when I shop for products that go on our bodies, because as safe as so many products may seem...they are not. There are ingredients that cause cancer, endocrine disruption, asthma, allergies, reproductive toxicity, persistence and bioaccumulation...I mean, WHAT??? These are popular grocery and department store brands!! I don't want that stuff on me, let alone MY KIDS. So, I became the soap nazi. No chemicals for you!

I've held onto this for quite a few years now...since Alex was probably 2, and he's 9 now. So...he's 9 now. Becoming independent, wanting to do what his friends do, following trends, and all that good stuff. One of the things some of his friends do is use this oh-so-manly product called Axe. I'm sure you've seen the fascinating commercials - a guy turns to chocolate and the girls eat him, and of course the 'clean balls' one. If you haven't...feel free to youtube it, I'll wait here.

So there we are at the grocery store, and the boy wants to 'go smell Axe'. I don't mind humoring him once in a while, so no biggie, we'll go smell Axe. My first course of action is to read the label. Upon picking up the bottle and turning it over, the first thing I notice is the Recommended Usage. It has this nice little diagram done in the spirit of 'later, rinse, repeat'. Axe's label basically says 'shower, and the girls will be on you like white on rice'. But, not in so many words. Check it out sometime. I literally laughed out loud when I saw it. Alex looked a little hurt, like I was digging at him personally. Moving on to the ingredient label, I didn't immediately see any of the red flag ingredients I commonly look for, which was VERY surprising. 'Fragrance' is always a concern, and of course that is practically the #1 ingredient. Ok that's an exaggeration, but it should be...I mean, have you smelled this stuff? I have and let me tell you, I started sneezing right there in the Man Aisle of Woodman's. VERY potent stuff.

Naturally, there is no way I am going to buy this garbage and bring it into our house to pollute his little body...not to mention my indoor air quality. I do NOT want my little boy to smell like 'a hunk of man candy'. Completely inappropriate and unnecessary! I think at this point he is under the impression that because he got me into the aisle, we will be taking home one of these offensive bottles of poison. HA! No way!

As we are lightly arguing about it, a man about my dad's age comes and stands in front of us at the Axe display, and starts smelling the different scents. Alex grabs his favorite and throws it in the cart, then in true character informs me that the last item we need to get is Ding Dongs. I inform him (and indirectly the man in the aisle) that if he uses this Axe garbage, he is going to smell like a ding dong. His resolve to buy the product does not waver, but the man turns around laughing, puts the bottle of Axe back on the shelf and walks away! Yay, one point for Bonnie!!

To make a long story short, Axe came home with us that day. I know, I know, it is completely the opposite of everything I normally do and buy and believe in and everything else. Once in a while I give in to the puppy-dog eyes and the lower lip and the please please please I'll do anything you want I'll clean my room every day and scoop the litter box and anything else please please PLEASE. Well, not only does the boy use Axe every day, but dear husband (the traitor!) uses it too. As my dad would say, they walk around smelling like a couple of French Who-ers.

It's a funny thing, this resistance I get. I'm only trying to do the best for them and keep them safe. GOSH. Why can't they just conform and not want the bad stuff?! I don't know. Maybe a couple more brainwashing sessions are in order (I got the boy to go Vegan for about two weeks once!). Something has to be done though, cause one day I will set him loose on the rest of the world and hope he makes the right choices.

Someday he will have a family with kids who may resist him, and I will have to remind him of the time he got rebellious and resistant and used Axe body spray as air freshener in his room, then called out 'HA, MOM! Now my room is HYDROGENATED!!'

*Shameless Shaklee plug: Shaklee has a full line of SAFE products, including skin care, hair care, and body products. Check it out Shaklee Personal Products

www.ewg.org

Compost: It's green, but it sure is ugly.

2011-01-11T13:50:00.000-06:00

On this snowy day in January, I am at home cleaning my house and doing chores and taking the occasional break to geek out on the computer. My friend's daughter is coming home on the bus with my kids after school, so I figure it's high time to get rid of the compost situation growing on my kitchen counter. It's getting ugly.

Our house is on a one-acre lot, and both sides of the lot are very brushy and overgrown and very conducive to composting. I have a little area bordered with chicken wire with stakes in the corners to hold it up, and I toss in all of our kitchen scraps, fireplace ashes, and some yard waste in there throughout the year.

My compost system is as follows: I have an antique enamelware pee-bucket with a lid (yep, I said pee-bucket) on the counter, and all of my appropriate food scraps go in the bucket. The full bucket then gets either taken right out to the compost pile, or depending on how busy I am in the house I may empty it into a big kitty-litter bucket that I keep on the back porch. Then when that bucket is full, it gets taken out and dumped on the pile. Saves us a lot of garbage, and I have peace of mind knowing that my kitchen scraps are not sitting in an impermeable plastic bag somewhere, not biodegrading as they should. Yay, me!

There are a lot of specifics about composting - what you're supposed to compost and what you're not, turning, temperature, nitrogen, ratios, etc. I like to call MY way of composting The Lazy Person's Compost System. I dump it on, it rots. Maybe next year I stir it up and spread it in the garden (my tomato plants get monstrous!). Hey, my system works. And at least I'm composting at all.

But then it gets cold out. Then frosty. Then frigid. Then frozen tundra crispy nose-hair cold. Yay, let's go dump the compost! NOT. So naturally, I end up with a full bucket on the back porch, a full bucket on the kitchen counter, and then I might even grab another container and start filling that. This will get transferred to the back porch when it's full, too, keep it nice and cold. Yuck, right? You betcha.

Again, today I am home doing chores. Part of cleaning the kitchen is dealing with what my husband affectionately calls The Rot Bowl. To begin, I empty the ashes from wood-burning stove into a paper grocery bag, then pile some old bread and banana peels and stuff on top of the ashes. My intention is to get all geared up in boots and coat and heavy gloves, and take this beast out to the pile where it belongs.

But I haven't. It's on the back porch. And it's stinky. I'd like to think that when the kids get home from school I can bribe the boy to go dump it for me by paying him 2 bucks or something. But he's way smarter than that. I'm on my own. Buck up and get out there, Bonnie.

Remind me again why I compost? Hmmpf. I mean...YAY, I LOVE IT! GO GREEN!

Cheer up, baby chick!

2011-01-07T12:06:00.002-06:00

This post is pretty personal and a bit of a testimonial, but will also hopefully serve as a ray of hope to some folks out there who deal with mood disorders or behavioral issues, whether in themselves or their family or friends.

My son recently turned 9. He's a great kid, smart, very social, active in Taekwondo. He is mine, I own him, and I love him to pieces. I don't care how 'cool' he is...I will grab him and kiss him and squeeze the daylights out of him any time I please. That's my boy. My first, my oldest, my son. Any parent knows what I'm talking about, you will do anything for your kids!

From the time he was a baby we knew we were in for a heck of ride - he has always been strong-willed. At first it may seem an undesirable quality, especially in a small child, but strong-willed can be good! If cultivated correctly, he can turn into one determined, confident, knows-what-he-wants-and-does-what-it-takes-to-get-it adult. But recently he has seemed...out of sorts. Honestly, he's been a miserable shit. Moping around, being nasty with a bad attitude, seemingly upset or angry all the time. I've had a hard time even talking to him because he's immediately defensive and angry. This has not made for very pleasant family time! I want my happy little boy back.

I've done a lot of thinking and worrying about him. Should we see a counselor? Is there something 'wrong' with him? What am I doing wrong as a parent? OMG, should he be medicated? Maybe I'm not strict enough. Maybe I'm TOO strict. Could it be diet or allergies? Do we not give him enough attention? WTF is his PROBLEM?!?!

As you may know, I am very health conscious and do what I can here at home with natural remedies first. Naturally the first thing I think of is food allergies. Maybe there's something he is eating that makes him act out. It's certainly not unheard of! (Food coloring is a big offender when it comes to behavior). Over the past couple years I have cut the artificially colored, flavored and processed foods down to very little here at home. No cow's milk, no meat with 'added hormones', etc. Naturally, it's hard to control what goes on at the school lunch table or at friend's houses or where ever, but we do our best where we live and spend most of our time. Unfortunately, this hasn't helped a whole lot with his attitude.

Being a Shaklee distributor, I've learned so much about what supplements do what for you, and what happens when you're deficient. One of the first things you learn is that B vitamins are your 'happy pill'. Sounds good! Bottoms up, boy! (And husband, and mother, and sister, and...kidding, kidding!) So I've been giving the child a single B Complex tablet every morning with his breakfast, along with another Shaklee product called Moodlift Complex. Moodlift contains St. John's Wort along with a proprietary blend that helps the St. John's Wort be more effective.

We've been doing this for a week now, and the difference is AMAZING. He wakes up in the morning joking and energetic. I've been communicating with his teacher by email all this week, and she has said that the boy is much more focused and on task at school all day. When he comes home from school he actually speaks to me and tells me how his day was! He is agreeable and hasn't been nearly as argumentative as before. The negativity is not completely gone, but it is so far in the background that if I was not overly conscious of it I'm not sure I would realize it was there.

I guess my point here is sometimes a little bit of the right stuff can make all the difference in the world. Nutrition is such a huge part of our lives, and so many people don't realize how important it is and how it affects SO MUCH of what we do. Too many times people resort to heavy medications to 'fix' a behavior that could easily be remedied by changes in diet or by supplementing a deficiency. Not all cases of course...there are many children that need the heavier stuff on a daily basis, and there's nothing wrong with that. Simple solutions aren't always going to work for everyone, I'm not trying to say they are. But if you've been feeling down, don't run to the doc and get a prescription for Zoloft. Try a natural remedy first - diet, fitness and nutrition. You might be surprised!

How Not to be a 3-Weeker

2011-01-05T12:29:00.002-06:00

I pulled up at my health club first thing Monday morning to find that the parking lot was packed with cars. Oh yeah, all those New Year's resolutions put into effect, everybody's at the gym. After my fitness class, my friend and I were walking out into the bitter cold and commenting on how unusually full the parking lot is, and how it will be a relief when all these '3-weekers' drop off so we can have our old parking spots back. Yes, of course I know that's not very nice. Sorry.

Later the same day, I overheard a conversation where someone was commenting on how so many people join health clubs the first week of the new year, work out for three weeks, then fall off the wagon. In the past two days I have heard or seen at least half a dozen other references to these poor folks who just can't seem to keep up with what they've committed to.

This got me to thinking. What makes people drop off after 3 weeks or so? Health and fitness is my business, so how can I help?

As someone who has been steadily working out for quite a while now, it is easy for me to say that I can't or won't go a whole week without working out, I love it too much, and I get off on the way it makes me feel. But not everybody is like that. And believe me, there are many days that I don't want to peel myself off the couch and away from the Hershey kisses and go out in the cold to the health club where I'm just going to do a bunch of stuff that makes me want to vomit. Hey, I'm normal. Relatively...

I think the key to sticking with it is getting visible results. When you work out for a couple weeks and one day you're at home and happen to catch a glimpse of a tricep you didn't know existed other than to cause you pain, or your significant other says something like 'Boy, they really work your ass hard in those classes, don't they? I mean your ass is literally hard.', or you run up the stairs and aren't heaving at the top...now those are good feelings. Those feelings make you want to work out more, right? Hopefully!

If you've got a long road ahead of you, the results you get in those first couple of weeks may not be significant enough to keep you coming back for more. So how do you get the bests results you can? Lose weight at a healthy rate, build muscle, get stronger, fitter, healthier? AND KEEP AT IT?!

1. Keep your eye on the prize. Find a picture of someone with your body type who is fit and healthy looking. Cut it out and post it up. Or a swimsuit, or dress you want, or some reward you will give yourself when you reach your goal. And don't make your goal something insane...set small goals to reach in a certain time frame. 'I will lose 10 pounds by March 1'. Realistic! Then when you reach that goal, go another 10.

2. Accountability is the word of the day! Find a partner, and hold each other accountable. A little friendly competition never hurt anybody! I have a couple workout partners, and there are many days that they are dragging me to the gym, and vice versa! But the thing is, we go. We motivate each other, hold each other accountable, and we go and we do it and we complain the whole time, but we are getting the results we want.

3. Evaluate your diet. By now we are all aware that McDonald's is not health food. But other than cutting out the obvious - fast food, soda, sugar, etc., what else can you do? Depending on how you shop, you may have to reprogram your brain. Don't buy products that contain hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, or more than 20 ingredients - and that's being generous. Keep it simple - the less ingredients, the better. Add more alkalizing foods to your diet, and add more natural sources of Omegas, including a pure supplement (Shaklee, of course). Start your day with protein, and I don't mean bacon. Vegetable protein!! Soy is your friend. I have a protein shake or bar every morning, and I won't go without it. My energy level all day is waaaay better when I start my day with a protein shake (Shaklee, of course). Plus, the Leucine in Cinch shakes will help you lose fat while you retain muscle, among a million other awesome health benefits. Don't fall for stuff like Vitamin Water. Scam! Muscle Milk. Scam! Slim Fast. Scam! These products are full of synthetic ingredients, hydrogenated oils, and SUGAR. If you need more info on what foods are alkaline, go here www.energiseforlife.com for a free, printable list of alkaline foods. If you need more info on the Cinch line of products, CLICK HERE .

Whatever you do, just get out there and do it! It's the time for new beginnings, so make your fitness and health a priority and rework your schedule to make time to take care of yourself. You've only go one body, and no one else is going to do it for you!

P.S. Because I would be doing you a disservice if I did not add this; Shaklee has an amazing Cinch offer right now through January 31...join membership, buy yourself a box of Vitalizer (or place other $70 order), and get over $100 worth of Cinch products for free to get you started. Includes: full size can of Cinch, full size box of Cinch tea, full size box of peanut butter snack bars, plus a pedometer, program guide, and 3 month subscription to cinchwellness.com. Ya, I know!! AWESOME!!! http://greengiraffe.myshaklee.com

A Stiletto To The Heart

2010-12-14T00:37:00.002-06:00

This entry has nothing to do with being green. It has everything to do with me being the occasional mildly selfish fashion victim. Though I will mention exercise briefly later on, so let's go ahead and loosely put this one under the heading of 'fitness'.

There's nothing wrong with being fashionably selfish once in a while, is there? My fashion consultant would answer with a resounding NOOOOO. I love my fashion consultant. As a treat for you, here are some more of her words of wisdom; 'He knew I liked to shop when he married me. This should come at no surprise.' and 'He wants his wife to look good, right?!' Does that sound like a wise woman, or what? Ya, you know it does.

So, my husband and I were invited to a wedding of an old friend this past weekend, a guy my husband used to be in a band with. We knew about this wedding for months. So naturally, I prepared. I shopped for the right dress, shoes and accessories. Needless to say, I'm a good shopper. I found an awesomely hot, yet sophisticated dress for a steal, accessorized it (with the help of an anonymous former bridal consultant who happened to be on the other side of the jewelry display at just the right time for me to glean her opinion), and of course...the shoes. Oh, the shoes!

Did I find the most wickedly fantastic black stilettos!! They're gorgeous, even sitting in the box all packed in foam and tissue. Boy was I looking forward to wearing them. My feet would have died a thousand deaths, but damn, my calves would have looked goood. I was so prepared, I even did extra crunches to look good in the dress. Crunches blow. Twenty-four feel like a million.

The dress, the shoes, the jewelry, the handsome and well-dressed husband. The flu.

You better believe it. I got the @##$%^& flu early Saturday morning. How can it be? I rarely get sick, I take my Shaklee vitamins everyday, eat right and exercise. I don't get the flu! I'VE GOT THE WHOLE DAMN OUTFIT, THIS CAN'T HAPPEN, I HAVE TO WEAR IT!

Needless to say, there was no gorgeous outfit to celebrate a happy occasion, seeing some old friends and being happy for the couple who got married. No, it was all laying in bed between trips to the bathroom and trying to sleep while dreaming of vomit. Poor husband had to go himself. Granted, he had a good time, but still.

And now he wants me to return the shoes. It's like sacrilege! A TRAGEDY. Return the shoes? But honey, did you SEE THEM??? He made a good point though, when the next occasion comes around I will be up for another excursion with my fashion consultant for a little retail therapy. And giving up these amazing black stilettos is deserving of some therapy. So I will do it. This time. Next time, the flu can bite me!!

Drinking coffee till I vibrate is bad, bad, bad.

2010-12-09T10:17:00.002-06:00

The other day I ran across a blurb somewhere that said ‘drinking two or more cups of coffee a day makes it near impossible to burn fat’. Hmm. You don’t say. That explains things a little bit.

I wonder then, how it is that us ‘normal’ people are supposed to get all jacked-up enough every morning to get kids clean and dressed, lunches made, snacks packed, homework located, and their bodies thrown out the door in time for the bus to scoop them up and away from us, so that we may actually shower by ourselves once in a while.

Apparently… <insert giant exasperated eye roll> coffee makes your body acidic, and when you’re in an ‘acid state’ you retain the fat from every little bite of cheesecake and breakfast sausage that crosses your lips. In order for you to burn off that retained fat, your acid level must decrease. Which of course means ‘stop drinking all that coffee’, among other things of course. The other things I can handle…I’m not big on sugary sweets, not a big meat eater, don’t booze it up more than your average stay-at-home mom, etc….but coffee? Come on, not coffee!!

I guess I am off to the tea section at the grocery store, and I haven’t had my coffee today, so watch out!!

Can we have ice cream for dinner?

2010-12-07T09:53:00.003-06:00

Hi, and welcome!
Since this is my first blog, I imagine introducing myself is in order. I'm a stay-at-home mom of 2 with my own health & wellness business. I try to keep my house as green as it is possible for us; we compost, recycle, grow vegetables in the garden, reuse, reduce, etc. I buy organic. We don't use products with 'bad' chemicals to clean, do laundry, or wash our hair and faces. In the winter our heat is set to 62 degrees during the day (I wish I could take credit for that one, but its really my husband being cheap). My kids know we do not eat certain things, and words like 'hydrogenated' in the ingredients mean its BAD.

That said, I should also mention that I live in a fantasy world where everyone happily does what I want them to.

My 5 year old is usually pretty compliant. Eats what I give her, doesn't complain too much, tries new food items, etc. But every so often she gets a feeling of entitlement when it comes to deciding what she wants for any particular meal, and makes sure I understand that there will be no substitute for what she has decided is on the menu. Ice cream for dinner, or for that matter Doritos for breakfast, are not usually part of the idealistic meal plans I fantasize about.

I have these daydreams where my family is all sitting at the table, getting along, talking about school and work and friends and sports, and happily eating the wonderful, healthy, organic, vegetarian dinner full of nutrients and green vegetables! that I've prepared for them. Yeah, right. The kids whining about Ding Dongs break through my reverie every time.

I really admire those parents whose kids would never dream of asking for Little Debbie at the store. But one has to wonder...how did they do it? Hypnotism? Beatings? WHAT??? Could someone please let me know?!